When was your 'rock bottom'?

grrl77
grrl77 Posts: 108
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
I'm always curious to hear people's stories about when they decided to turn things around and stick to it. The similarities between food addiction and, say, a drug addiction, is sort of fascinating to me. You'd think rock bottom for me would have been when the doctor told me at sixteen I wouldn't live to see thirty if I kept trucking the way I was going. (Granted, I think this was more of a scare tactic, and I grew up in the middle of nowhere Kansas, but. Hey who knows. Probably some possible truth in there somewhere?) Or how about when it was hard to get dates? Oh, you know. Guys wanted to be your friend and they thought you were the most awesome chick in the world to hang out with, and yeah, you were pretty, and hey, maybe even a decent lay on a Saturday night. I'd just write it off to being pre-judged and the guy "not really knowing who I am!", etc.

It's wild to me, that we can have someone in the medical community to us say, "Hey. You need to do this, else there's going to be serious repercussions," and while we might stay worried for, oh, a few days, it certainly didn't deter me from blowing through the Taco Bell drive through on a rough afternoon and ordering $12 worth of food when I wasn't even hungry.

My rock bottom came after a relationship with my ex alcoholic boyfriend ended, funny enough. It wasn't a great relationship at all, obviously, but oh man, did I hang on! The self reflection part came when an alanon-er and I were chatting. She said, "You probably feel like a martyr, don't you. You know, always picking up the pieces, always holding it all together." "Yes, that's exactly how I feel!" (I couldn't believe this woman got it!) and then she hit me with a ton of bricks: "Right, but you chose to stay. Why?"

Holy crap. Big question. And it was one I didn't immediately have the answers for. I think I have a pretty good grasp on it now - I put everything and everyone before me. It's that pesky codependency thing lots of people have. But it really made me analyze all aspects of myself, including my own health. For once, I decided to take hold of my life, rather than settling, and waiting for things to drop in my lap. Turns out, they rarely ever do. :P Oh, it's still a challenge, and it's certainly not easy. I feel pretty lucky that I have a great support system of friends and family, and of course, you guys. This site's definitely been a blessing, and I feel grateful you get to come on this journey with me. :) xxoo!

- Jenn

Replies

  • ambercole
    ambercole Posts: 426
    My rock bottom was 5 years ago after me and my ex split up. I was 250lbs and I realized that if I didn't do something with myself that I was going to be fat and lonely forever! So I started eating right and working out and with the support of my current husband , was able to lose 120lbs going from a size 18/20 to a size 5. Now, i have gained about 40lbs back but I am in the process of losing that too.
  • 4lafz
    4lafz Posts: 1,078 Member
    It is interesting to me too! Different for everyone. While I ALWAYS wanted to lose, one day I was trying on clothes and nothing seemed to fit - from my own closet! I have about 5 different sizes and decided I did not want to spend money on buying another LARGER size. That was it for me - although I have to lecture myself daily to stay on track! I wish I knew as I have a friend and a sister who desperately need to lose ALOT of weight. I just try to encourage and set a good example. People need to decide for themselves - I guess that is what you call their rock bottom! Good luck!
  • Kminor67
    Kminor67 Posts: 900 Member
    My rock bottom was my husband's weight loss. When we got married, he weighed 350, and I had gained weight before the wedding. Two years ago, my husband had Gastric Bypass surgery, and since he has lost 150 pounds. He has since gained some back, but it's due to exercising and building muscle. I didn't like being big, but after he lost the weight I felt totally disgusting. I don't have the option of getting surgery. If I did, I would have had surgery right along with him. So he is losing losing losing, and I can't seem to lose anything. Then one day my step-daughter and I were discussing wanting to lose weight on facebook, and wanting to do it together (she has a 7 month old baby), and her friend Amber told us about MFP. It has given me hope where I thought I was hopeless! I've lost 8 lbs so far and I'm doing terrific!
  • lindakp83
    lindakp83 Posts: 45
    I wanted to loose weight after I had my son. When I was with his dad I got down to 185ish. I did that with South Beach. I slowly gained it back as I fell off the wagon. When we split up I got back up to what I was when I was pregnant and some. I was the biggest I had ever been. When I decided I couldn't do it anymore I was shopping with my mom and sister and I tried on a size 16 and it didn't fit. I couldn't believe it. Size 16 was too small! I realized that if I wanted cute clothes I would have to go to a store that sold bigger sizes. I wanted to cry. I did cry later. I don't want to buy plus size clothes. I have been wearing skirts all summer because they fit. I don't want to wear plus size clothes. So here I am.
  • helehcim
    helehcim Posts: 20
    Oh man, my rock bottom. I kinda had two. One was about four years ago when my father sent remote control trucks to the kids for Christmas. They were 1 and 4, and we all went outside to play with them (we live in Florida, no snow!). I sat on the curb watching them play and at some point I wanted to get up and run around with them...and I was stuck. I needed someone to help me up. The kids each grabbed a hand and pulled, we all laughed but inside I was so embarassed. I was about 250 pounds and 5' 4". That was a little embarassing, but even worse (it got worse) was when I saw the pictures my husband was taking. I was round. A big round woman with a tiny head sitting on the curb. I was completely shocked, and moved quickly to the gym (I couldn't run). I hired a trainer, and she did a body fat assessment...forgot to mention I still hadn't hit rock bottom. Rock bottom was when I realized my body fat percentage was higher than the ground beef I was buying. I had more body fat than a cow. I realize that's not really true, but I was completely freaked that more than 60% of ME was FAT!!
    THAT was my rock bottom.

    I gained 10 more pounds. Then something clicked and I said screw it, I called the trainer back and hired her. She was scared of me, I could manage five minutes on the eliptical and I didn't sweat. She told me later the whites of my eyes were yellow when I started and she was terrified I would drop off the machine at any minute. She was more scared I'd quit, but I didn't.

    I've lost 82 pounds, my lowest weight was 178 last year. This last year has been very difficult (got divorced and started dating, let me tell ya dating at 36 with kids is WAY different than dating in my 20's with no common sense!). I've managed to gain weight, I'm up to about 190 now, and here comes my second low.

    My 8 yr old son started weighing himself. He's perfectly healthy! He isn't overweight, but I've gone to some weird extreme my kids could see, and I was weighing myself every day lamenting every half pound up and telling myself a pound down wasn't good enough. One morning he came to the table and announced his weight and it broke my heart. I threw the scale away. I resisted the urge to beat it to pieces with my kids' baseball bat.

    I bought an eliptical machine from Craigs List. I told the kids it doesn't matter what we weigh; what matters is that we eat right and we get enough excersize. Soooo....for the last few days I've been working out with my kids and they've been helping me make dinner and breakfast and making better choices with me (y'know....cereal bar instead of candy bar that kind of stuff). We try to walk everywhere we can, we go to the park, and my oldest son is adding up the miles he's 'walked' on the eliptical. Except now i don't know what I weigh (LOL) but I don't really care anymore. I'm a size (tight) 14, I was a 22, and dammit that is a hell of an accomplishment! I'm going to guage my health on how I feel and when my pants size goes down I'll know I lost weight.

    *edited for attro....really bad spelling*
  • kennedar
    kennedar Posts: 306 Member
    My low came on the first anniversary of our miscarriage. We have not gotten pregnant yet and I have a referral to an infertility specialist in November. I want a child more than I want to breathe, but even more than that, I want to make my husband a father. We have started talking about what the future would look like without children and it has been the most heartbreaking conversations you could ever imagine. I decided that if I want to have a child, I have to take control of my health. The biggest part of that right now is losing weight. I know that there will never be any guarantee that we will have biological children but I am determined to give us the best chance possible.
  • ser0630
    ser0630 Posts: 223
    I hit what I consider rock bottom almost 3 years ago when I saw the pictures that were taken from my cousin's wedding in which I was a bridesmaid. I looked horrible. I was about 190 lbs at that point (I'm also 5'10"). Since then I had lost 18 pounds. I came across this site by the app for my Droid phone. I decided to join in order to lost the last 11 pounds I would like to lose to get down to my "pre-injury" weight.
  • greendirl
    greendirl Posts: 4
    rock bottom for me was when i realized that i will be turning 40 next july 4th and do not want to go into 40 looking and feeling like I am 60yrs old. i want to be that hot cougar-yeah i hate that term too!!! lol or hottie when i look in the mirror i think wow!
    who cares what everyone else thinks..i dig me.

    but when i realized t got my own set of Batwings this year and a muffin top tummy...im done..
    i see the girls at work miserable and heavy and blaoted ankles and tummys pressed up to the desk straining for the hands to reach the keyboard..and thought...hey thats me too!!

    ewweeee,ick...sorry.. i don't like the way it looks or feels any more.. I am a size 18 pushing it when i started and now idk.. but i have all the size 18 things at the bottom of the closet waiting their departure for smaller ones.smiles.

    plus if there is nothing we feel we can control in this world, we Can control ourselves.. and that is exactly what I am doing..its a personal thing on that note... id thank the person who sparked that into me.. but id rather learn jujistu and mma stuff and woop his booty first!! lol
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    I was one of those people that always had the new years resolution to eat healthy and lose some weight. In 2007, I came across a calorie counting website and I was hooked from there. It was a real eye opener. As well as that, I was part of a car club that had an area for people to support each other's weight loss (much like this forum) and that really helped.
  • kelika71
    kelika71 Posts: 778 Member
    For me, it came when the nurse called with my blood test results. All the doctors were expecting it to be a Thyroid issue and instead it was Diabetes. The nurse told me I had to come in that day to be taught how to use the meter. When I got off the phone, I told hubby that things had to change right then and there.
    When we got to the office to meet up with the nurse, somehow, the topic got around to changing our diet. When I told her that was the plan, she rolled her eyes and had that look like, "oh, another one saying that." Well, from that moment I was even more determined to show her I'm not like others!
    At my 3 month follow-up appt., the doctor was impressed and asked me what I was doing. I told him about this site and how rude his nurse was! I told him that each time I felt like giving up, I remembered her expression. He apologized for her behavior, obviously. To which I told him not to do that because, while it was rude, it's made me determined to have her see me improve each time I'm there.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    I'll be honest I was on the computer looking for the next great pill or potion. But I found MFP instead. I knew I hated the way I looked and felt. I just didn't know what to do about it that seemed do-able. When I started using MFP, it was a week before new years'. So I had a nice big drop right before "resolution time" and that made it easy to stay on board. I especially love the "In five weeks, if every day were like today"...I decided to see if it were true, and stick with it for 5 weeks to check. Well good habits are formed by then, and even though it was a little bit off... I'm still here!

    YAY I love MFP:heart::heart: :heart:
  • NH_1970
    NH_1970 Posts: 544 Member
    When I weighed 298-293 lbs I couldn't walk up the 13 stairs to my bathroom and our bedroom areas without being out of breath, and having my heart beat in my ears I thought something was wrong with my hearing. I was in a size 26 (tight) pant, Size 44ddd bra and a size 5x and pushing it top.

    I went to my doctors and she recommended a weight loss group at the local hospital that was free for me. She signed me up also for some lab work to check my levels. I went to the weight loss group, and made an appointment with the dietitian that ran it.

    My doctor got the lab results back and I found out at my next appt. that I had high cholesterol for my age, some low vitamin levels, and that if I didn't do something about it that I was at risk for heart and health problems, which Heart problems run in my family.

    So I was just coming out of a long stretch of grief for my dad passing away, felt like a gigantic crappy blob, I realized that I had no energy to do ANYTHING with my daughter, and that I was embarrassed to be even seen in public. I would go shopping late at night if we needed anything very late.

    So I looked at my life and pretty much determined that even though my dad died, I didn't need to eat my grief and put myself in an early grave in the cemetery beside him. That my daughter needed my attention and for me to be healthy before she's an adult, and that It took some effort but I had lost weight in the past and could do it again, this time with permanency. That and I just really wanted to feel better. Being 298-293 and carrying around all that weight, making bad food choices, not drinking water all these things, just made me feel like cucka.

    I joined MFP at 263 on August 18th - Not long ago, when I had gotten into a lull and was looking for a way to track my food and figure out caloric intake. I just stumbled across it in a search engine I think.

    Now I'm 253 Fitting into size 22s Size 42dd (and losing the boobs even more because the bra is getting loose on me) and My tops are a size 3xish. and since joining MFP I've lost about an inch off my neck, 4 inches off my stomach, and 3.5 inches off my hips.

    At the beginning I tried walking and felt like I was going to pop out of my skin the effort was so much, it took awhile but I did .25 of a mile, Now I can do 6-8 miles with no problem. I joined a yoga class a friend was teaching and did 10 classes with her, I did a lot of modified poses at the beginning because I couldn't do them because of my body mass, and also my flexibility wasn't very good, but I consistently lost weight in them. I also dug out my old callanetic tapes with Callen Pickney and did those.

    Recently I've added free weights 5lbs on everything but bicep curls (those I upped to 10lbs). I do an occasional yoga class with my friend, but like the privacy of my home and have the Power VInyasa tapes on dvd that I do, it's not HOT power Vinyasa like in her class, but I'm okay with that, I know how to do all the poses now, she also puts her classes on her website so I can go and listen to them and do them along with her voice. If I don't exercise every day I try to do some flexibility routine on a day off from it. Yoga made me realize how much tension my body is holding.

    I love to walk now - helps relieve my spirit. I'm still not like Wow! damn girl you look great when I look in the mirror, ( I want to be though) I do see my humongous chin disappearing and I'm like YAY! get thee gone double chin!! :) I just know I'll make it there now because I'm more aware. and NO WAY! am I going to slip back into that deep dark crud that had me huffing up my stairs and wondering why I was out of breath.

    Also I notice if I don't get my water in now, which this site and my challenge Buddy Lissa keeps me motivated to do, I feel like a withered up old crackly thing. I'm not sure how I was existing on my level of water before I started drinking this much. Surprised my kidneys weren't like HEY! brain, wake up the idiot and send us some liquids.
  • NH_1970
    NH_1970 Posts: 544 Member
    ps- Also thank you! for posting this, when I joined I thought I was at a lower weight because my scale has marks every 20 lbs and I miscalculated and the ticker visual showed something I wasn't at then. When I noticed the scale and got down to floor level to look at it, I re put in my weight and then was like damn :/ but after typing all that info I realized that I've lost 10lbs in about a month! and that's phenomenal :) yay! so Thank you! that perked up the happiness on my weight-loss level.
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