Starting Today . . . Again

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hablondi
hablondi Posts: 127 Member
in Motivation and Support
So, fell off the wagon in a big way . . . again. I have been going through this since the birth of my first child seven years ago. I commit, go all out for a month or two and then slowly fall into horrible eating and not exercising again. It is not like I don't know what to do. My mother is a personal trainer and I grew up in a gym. I competed in Miss America and won swimsuit competition 5 times. I know that there is a very fit person lurking underneath this layer of fat. I am so frustrated with myself for not having what it takes mentally to get her back out.

I don't buy new clothes often, because I see this as a temporary size. But it is getting to the point that I don't have anything to wear! No shorts this summer, because they are all too small. I have been living in flowing skirts and maxi dresses.

I hate the way it feels to sit down, because of the pillow of fat in my mid-section.

I am tired of looking at mommies who just had babies fitting back into their clothes and I am four years out from my youngest and I am still not there.

So, here we go again. Starting back to tracking today, along with TurboFire and lifting weights in the gym 4 days a week.

Not sure what I am looking for by posting this. I guess I am just hoping that by making it public, I will feel some sense of accountability. Feel free to give me a swift kick in the pants to actually get this thing done this time.

Replies

  • Fatsotubs
    Fatsotubs Posts: 93 Member
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    Well done for posting this and for starting today. I too am starting again today. My girls are 9 and 11 and I'm still trying to lose weight! I feel awful about the way I look and the way I feel. I get out of breath just walking up a small hill!
  • creay2012
    creay2012 Posts: 124 Member
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    I am also starting over again. Hoping to finally find my routine again.
  • Glampinupdoll
    Glampinupdoll Posts: 234 Member
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    You sound just like me minus the kid thing...I do the same for 2 months, get smaller and magic confidence comes out of no where for me. I feel skinny, and for some reason my brain thinks "just this one meal" is ok. It sucks. I headed back to the gym today and started tracking so good luck lets do this!
  • marinemom93
    marinemom93 Posts: 16 Member
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    First off...Congrats! It's so hard to start again. I'm in this boat with you! I think the key is to keep working at it.

    I think you should give in and get yourself some new clothes. Here's what I've discovered recently.....that if I feel like I look good I'm more likely to eat better and to exercise. Here's my thought: Look up, think up, feel up, get up! Grab that confidence now! You can even get clothing second hand. And yes, I totally understand that it sucks to even try clothes on when not feeling good about your person. But believe me you will feel better when you put something on and it's not painfully squeezing you =-)

    Good luck!
  • hablondi
    hablondi Posts: 127 Member
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    Yep! That is it exactly. And that "one meal" turns into another and another and all of the sudden I am back where I started.
  • hablondi
    hablondi Posts: 127 Member
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    Thanks for the encouragement. I may swing by the Goodwill and see if they have anything. Trying to decide if it is going to make me feel better or worse. I have no idea what size shorts I am right now and I kinda like it that way. Might have a complete meltdown if I see that number in black and white. On the other hand, the skirts and maxi dresses have allowed me to live in denial all summer, so maybe the shopping is just what I need.
  • NdigoBlue
    NdigoBlue Posts: 37
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    Buy the shorts. Maybe as you said the number will give you the push you need. It worked for me. Was in denial and was ok with it but when faced with the truth you cant deny it. Im here if you need motivation and support
  • janinealfke
    janinealfke Posts: 93
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    We all fall off that wagon at some point. The the thing you have to do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start again. We all have those moments when we do things we know better than to do. You have to allow yourself to be human. We are all flawed....it happens to us all. You are not alone!! I have had weight loss surgery, so sometimes I lose differently from many but we all have the same food issues. You can do this!!! Keep the faith, keep talking about it, and let us support you here!!! Get going again...you can do it!

    Janine Alfke
  • debaloo
    debaloo Posts: 129 Member
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    My weight issues and yo yo dieting really started with the birth of my first child 14 years ago. I feel for you. All you can do is evaluate and work a program that you know you can stick to. If you fall, and you will, just get back up again and don't let it turn into a long term break. Good luck on your journey!
  • wondermommie85
    wondermommie85 Posts: 30 Member
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    I have been there and done that. And you can get through this. Don't give up!
  • kayjaybee357
    kayjaybee357 Posts: 8 Member
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    Oh my goodness...I am the exact same way. I feel like I am always starting over....again. And i know and have all the tools but it is so easy to convince yourself to start tomorrow and then it is well I will just start Monday. Its a vicious cycle.
  • addictedtoloss
    addictedtoloss Posts: 2
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    starting over again!!
    scared :/

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