Feeling pretty low today

caitypants86
caitypants86 Posts: 278 Member
in Motivation and Support
I went to Target last night to find some jean shorts for a concert I'm going to in a couple of weeks. You know, the cute short short ones with the frayed look - I used to wear them all the time. I grabbed a few styles in a few different sizes, took them to the change room, and almost had an anxiety attack in front of the mirror. I couldn't even fit into the largest size available (a 17 - not sure what a Target size 17 translates into). Well, I mean, I fit into it, but it was TIGHT and I had major muffin top. Are you freaking kidding me? I was then feeling so depressed and hungry because it was around dinner time, I went to McDonalds and had a 1/4 pounder combo with a diet coke, of course.

I want so much to lose this weight. It's holding me back from so many things and causing me to be an emotional wreck most of the time, because I automatically assume that when something goes wrong in my life or things don't go the way I had hoped, it's because I'm overweight. I realize what this extra weight is doing to me, yet I still can't find the motivation to get into a regular work out routine or cut the fast food and junk out of my life completely. I definitely don't eat it as much as before - but why on EARTH would I run straight to McDonalds after having a melt down in the change room at Target?! It just doesn't make any sense and I'm scared that I'll never lose the weight and get the body I want and need. I've cried and been frustrated over my weight for the past decade - yet I purposely hurt myself, it seems. I've been tracking my food for almost an entire year and have actually gained about 15lbs since I joined MFP. I'm at my wits end, I really am.

Replies

  • Pearsquared
    Pearsquared Posts: 1,656 Member
    It's a normal emotional response. Many of us on here have used food as comfort, and much of the battle in losing weight is not turning to food for comfort.

    Take it slow, try one thing at a time, and try to make it a habit. I started walking at first without touching my diet. Once I got used to that, I started keeping a food diary, but didn't track calories - I just wrote down what I ate, and tried to eat more consciously. Only after 4 months of walking and two months of food tracking was I able to get into serious calorie counting.

    Also, 17 is a junior size! They tend to be cut narrower in the thigh because juniors are still going through puberty. Perhaps the misses section will have something that fits better, though I don't know how the styles are.
  • caitypants86
    caitypants86 Posts: 278 Member
    Thanks so much for that - makes me feel better. I like your idea of just starting out by being more conscious of what I'm eating and taking it from there.

    And I had no idea that 17 was a junior size - makes so much more sense! I'm on the big-ish side right now but I really didn't think I was that big.... the juniors section has way cuter stuff. Dang.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    Uhm, first off, in my opinion Target's sizes run on the small side! Second we all have those emotional break downs and it doesn't have to be something big that sets them off - you're not alone. And like above states we all have run to food for comfort.

    -I think setting small goals is a good idea. Also I always dress for what I am right now, not what I want to be. Believe me they make cute clothes in all sizes that you will feel good in. Also, I've been trying to gravitate toward something positive when I feel down or have a melt downs. Example: I love volleyball, so instead of have a bad day = eat treat, I have a bad day = add a day of playing volleyball. Or try something I've always wanted - indoor rock climbing, biking, etc...
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
    ITS FRIDAY :drinker: Cheer up !
  • lustergirl
    lustergirl Posts: 123 Member
    Uhm, first off, in my opinion Target's sizes run on the small side! Second we all have those emotional break downs and it doesn't have to be something big that sets them off - you're not alone. And like above states we all have run to food for comfort.

    -I think setting small goals is a good idea. Also I always dress for what I am right now, not what I want to be. Believe me they make cute clothes in all sizes that you will feel good in. Also, I've been trying to gravitate toward something positive when I feel down or have a melt downs. Example: I love volleyball, so instead of have a bad day = eat treat, I have a bad day = add a day of playing volleyball. Or try something I've always wanted - indoor rock climbing, biking, etc...

    So true. I don't ever buy from Target. I think their plus size selection is very skimpy and the size run small.
  • c_tap77
    c_tap77 Posts: 189 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. I'm just starting out and I'm the biggest I've ever been right now. I took my measurements last night to start the 30 day shred and it was almost tear-inducing.

    That being said, I managed to motivate myself to stay on track (I've done pretty well for almost a week!!!) by looking at pictures on pinterest of all of the outfits I want to wear when I feel better about my body. It really curbed the temptation to eat something I shouldn't be eating. I'm also trying to plan all of my meals out in advance (I have my diary done through the middle of next week!) so I don't have the temptation to eat the yucky stuff because I know how it will affect my numbers--it's forcing me to really think about what I'm putting in my body and whether I'm actually hungry or just eating my emotions.

    I'm trying to approach this with the attitute that yeah it sucks now, but if I don't make a huge effort fix what I've done to my body, I'm never going to be completely happy and I'm always going to feel depressed when I walk into a store and can't wear the things I want.

    A few days of eating healthy and keeping moving later, and I actually feel better. I won't weigh myself yet because I don't want to be scale-obsessed at this point, but mentally and emotionally I legitimately feel 100x better than I did even on Monday. Don't give up :)
  • caitypants86
    caitypants86 Posts: 278 Member
    Awesome Sherri! That is a great idea.... I'll really try that from now on.
  • c_tap77
    c_tap77 Posts: 189 Member
    Oh also, try writing about it--I found this great book called The Writing Diet and I'm loving writing instead of binge eating...maybe I'll even write a book or something!!!! Doubt it, but even if it's just stream of consciousness it still helps
  • caitypants86
    caitypants86 Posts: 278 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. I'm just starting out and I'm the biggest I've ever been right now. I took my measurements last night to start the 30 day shred and it was almost tear-inducing.

    That being said, I managed to motivate myself to stay on track (I've done pretty well for almost a week!!!) by looking at pictures on pinterest of all of the outfits I want to wear when I feel better about my body. It really curbed the temptation to eat something I shouldn't be eating. I'm also trying to plan all of my meals out in advance (I have my diary done through the middle of next week!) so I don't have the temptation to eat the yucky stuff because I know how it will affect my numbers--it's forcing me to really think about what I'm putting in my body and whether I'm actually hungry or just eating my emotions.

    I'm trying to approach this with the attitute that yeah it sucks now, but if I don't make a huge effort fix what I've done to my body, I'm never going to be completely happy and I'm always going to feel depressed when I walk into a store and can't wear the things I want.

    A few days of eating healthy and keeping moving later, and I actually feel better. I won't weigh myself yet because I don't want to be scale-obsessed at this point, but mentally and emotionally I legitimately feel 100x better than I did even on Monday. Don't give up :)


    It's nice to know I'm not the only one feeling this way. Thanks so much for the inspiring reply. And you're so right - once you get moving and start eating healthier, you really do start to feel better and more confident almost automatically.
  • muziclver
    muziclver Posts: 145 Member
    Shopping is definitely the most depressing thing you can do when trying to lose weight. I know I avoid it like the plague because I know if I think about how big I am and how far I have to go just to feel "skinny" it's such a daunting thought to me. I'm sure it's a major mental thing, but I have not quite gotten over it either.
  • happysherri
    happysherri Posts: 1,360 Member
    I just thought of something my daughter says "Shoes always fit, mom!" So opt to buy yourself some super cute shoes instead! LOL -wisdom from a 16 yr old
  • c_tap77
    c_tap77 Posts: 189 Member
    I just thought of something my daughter says "Shoes always fit, mom!" So opt to buy yourself some super cute shoes instead! LOL -wisdom from a 16 yr old

    I do this all the time!!!!! And jewelry and purses...
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    IMO, being aware of your behavior is the first step to changing it. Now you know next time what NOT to do. Plus, like another poster said, Target runs small, especially in their juniors sizes.

    Old Navy has those frayed jean shorts and they run huge. I'm pretty much a 14 or 16 in almost every brand. I bought a pair of those jean shorts in a 14 without trying them on. They were ENORMOUS! I could take them off without unzipping them. A 12 might have even been too big. Part of me wanted to get them a in 10 or 12 just so I could have something in my closet with a 10 or 12 in the label, but I just exchanged them for something else.
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    So true. I don't ever buy from Target. I think their plus size selection is very skimpy and the size run small.

    I will occasionally get t-shirts or tops from the juniors section, but they do run super small. Every other store I can pretty much wear a large, but from Target juniors I have to get an XL or sometimes an XXL if they have it.
  • lorenzovonmatterhorn7549
    lorenzovonmatterhorn7549 Posts: 495 Member
    You look beautiful. Don't be so hard on yourself about sizes.

    547145_206124676213977_1181521636_n.jpg
  • caitypants86
    caitypants86 Posts: 278 Member
    IMO, being aware of your behavior is the first step to changing it. Now you know next time what NOT to do.

    So true!
  • caitypants86
    caitypants86 Posts: 278 Member
    You look beautiful. Don't be so hard on yourself about sizes.

    Thanks! :) I'll try not to be....
  • ayedemi17
    ayedemi17 Posts: 12 Member
    You are very beautiful and I agree with some stating that when you are on this weight loss journey, it is best to stay away from shopping. I find I get more depressed. I also go to Lane Bryant if I am really looking for something that way I know that it fits and looks good no matter what the size. I always come out of there feeling great being plus sized because they do have beautiful things for us (even though you do not look like you are plus) :) Looking great chica.
  • sharonfoustmills
    sharonfoustmills Posts: 519 Member
    You were probably putting on junior sized shorts! Emotional eating is a demon, but it is one you can beat. When you get time, try to sit down and write out what you were feeling when this happened, and write down those horrible thoughts like "i'll never lose this weight" then write counteractive statements to it, like this:

    "I'll never lose this weight"

    "yes, I will, I was just discouraged by the small sized shorts the Target sells- I've come a long way and I am doing a good job at getting healthy (or thin or whatever is the important word to you)- I can do this"

    after you do the statements, take the paper with you when you go places that could trigger you like clothing stores, restaurants, etc. and when you start to hear those horrible discouraging internal voices say those things, you take your paper out and you read those replies to yourself

    and keep going, don't give up, so you ate mcdonalds, just start over today! it's a new day
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    FYI, any sizing in odd numbers is Junior - and yes, they're horribly depressing to try to fit an adult female body into!! I can wear a size 12 now but there is no way a size 13 will fit me. You'd think it would but the cuts are just completely different. Next time make sure the sizing is an even number so you don't put yourself through that again.

    As far as the emotional response goes... It's sucks but it's something you just have to commit to changing. Really think about how you feel when you're stuffing yourself with that junk. Does it really make you feel any better? Probably not...so why do it? Keep thinking along these lines and journal about it - I think that extra step really helps keep it in the back of your mind. After a while, you'll learn that there are better ways to deal with those feelings. Maybe going for a walk or hitting the gym or talking to a friend would be more helpful. The more we really think about these things, the more likely we are to break the bad habits and make real changes.

    Chin up and carry on!

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