Need some buddies!

Hi Everyone,
Let's just say - for a fat girl, there are not many things worse in the world than getting dumped for a skinny blonde...the week before your birthday.....but that worse possible thing has now turned into what seems to be one of the most exciting times of my life....real ME time!

I just turned 36 on July 24, a week after my boyfriend of nearly two years dumped me for said skinny blonde. In the past I have let these types of things - bumps in the road, blows to be ego - hurt me and it turns out the only things hurt feelings make me want to do is eat ice cream and feel sorry for myself. This time was different though, and for the first time in a long time, instead of getting hurt, I felt truly MAD -

Apparently, mad works and I feel more motivated now than I ever have before in my life. I know what many of you will think, that losing weight for someone else, or for revenge, or whatever isn't the way to go, but at the heart of it, it's not just about this last incident. Sure, I'm mad as hell about what happened, but what has happened is that it unlocked all the mad as hell feelings I have had throughout my overweight, unhappy, self loathing adult life - every time I wanted to do something or go somewhere and felt held back or too self-conscious because of my weight - every time I was rejected, passed over, overlooked - simply because of this shell I had literally built around me.

I am not at the heaviest I have ever been - and have been yo-yo dieting in some way for most of my life. I reached my highest weight a year and a half ago, when some ill-fated family photos from Thanksgiving both shocked and horrified me. The denial I had been living with - all the "but I carry it well"s and "I'm not that big"s - was out the window and I ordered the six week body makeover the next day.

I have to say the darn thing worked and while I was a bit overwhelmed by the strict diet plan for my sluggish (almost non-existent) metabolism I saw quick and dramatic results. I was able to drop from 277 lbs. to around 230 in only a month and a half before falling off the wagon. While I had dramatically changed the way I ate, I had done little to get moving.

I was lucky the plan had kicked my metabolism into gear and while I wasn't continuing with the diet I was able to maintain that weight loss for most the next year. I began to inch back up the scale again this spring and as ongoing stresses with work and my terrible relationship took over - I was starting to slip.

I just feel so empowered now to do it right and combine healthy, mindful eating with an fitness plan. I am blessed to have a treadmill in my living room and have overcome my anxiety and irrational fear of the thing. I have gotten my butt on it almost every day for the past two week and already feel better - though I am a little unsure of how to get the most out of these workouts without killing myself or not challenging myself enough.
So far, I have been going for between 20 and 25 minutes at 3.5 to 3.7 at a 15 incline. While I know I am supposed to switch it up, the machine is not fancy and can't change incline while running and I'm not sure what else to do.

This morning my scale jumped up from 221 to 223, but I know I am bloating for the month (sorry if TMI) so I hope that is not a reflection of my overall progress.

I need some buddies and others to help keep me on track, focused on being a better, healthier, happier me and share in the challenges and successes are sure to come along the way.

I am 36, 5'5" and currently 223 - I live in rural upstate New York

Sorry so long, but thank you for reading my ramblings!