Bad Marriage? Mistress?

MakeLifeBright
MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
So here is the deal. Help me out. I have been worrying about tonight.

My Daughter has a open house / family night at school.
All of the parents, plus children and teachers will be there.
My daughter will be our guide, to show us her class. Plus talk to the teacher about her progress so far.
I am not worried about the people so much, but what they may be thinking.


and this time it is not about my weight!! (can you believe it?? lol):noway: :noway: :laugh:

Seriously though.. ok so

Of course I am married to my husband. I am not a Mistress.
As of the moment my marriage is not too bad. :wink:

The problem is , my wedding band does not fit. It is wayyyy too big. I have tried every thing to keep it on.
It slides right back off. So, I can not wear it. :sick:
My husband was going to wear his, but I told him No.. then it looks like he is married, and I am his mistress.
Especially since he is a lot older than me lol :tongue:

So, then if neither one of us wear a ring. Does it look like we are divorced? Or in a bad marriage??

Maybe I am too worried about it?? Do people notice if you are wearing a ring or not??
I always notice, but maybe I am more nosey than every one else. :devil: :blushing:

what do you all think??

Help!!:sad: :huh: :heart:
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Replies

  • Sillybunni
    Sillybunni Posts: 61 Member
    I think you are worrying about this way too much. ;) Wear the rings, don't wear them- it doesn't matter! I don't usually look at people's rings and it wouldn't mean a thing to me if one or either wasn't wearing one... especially at an open house night for kids ;)
  • LainMac
    LainMac Posts: 412 Member
    Buy a cubic zokonia diamond ring the right size (or a tiny bit small) and use it as a guard on the real band. Or buy a costume ring and turn it so only the gold part shows.

    I don't think people notice but hubby says they do.
  • ismatts
    ismatts Posts: 62
    Let your husband wear his ring, it is a school function and I believe people are not going to care much if you are not wearing yours.

    Or you can hold his hand with your right as you walk around :) and flirt a little ;)
  • Jenks
    Jenks Posts: 349
    I NEVER wear my ring. I really never even think about it. Let your hubby wear his, it's no big deal.
  • sandra80
    sandra80 Posts: 308 Member
    i wouldn't worry about it. it's not about what others think, you are there for your child and she knows the truth. that's all that matters.
  • jrich1
    jrich1 Posts: 2,408 Member
    My wife doesnt wear hers because it doesnt fit, and I have never even thought about it this way. I dont see that being an issue with people thinking you are a mistress, some people just dont wear jewelery.
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
    You are probably stressing over nothing. Not everyone wears a ring. The most people will think is how nice it is that your daughter has both parents at open house. I don't wear a ring to school functions and I am always alone. I couldn't care less what the other parents think. I am there for my child.

    And by the way, who in their right mind would take a mistress to a school function???
  • SweetPandora
    SweetPandora Posts: 660 Member
    I think you are worrying way too much!

    Go and enjoy the evening your child has planned for you.

    I know when I go to school functions I am not checking to see who is wearing a wedding ring and who is not. Actually I am not focused on the adults.

    Karen
  • kelseysmommy
    kelseysmommy Posts: 14
    I don't think it matters much but I'm a ring looker too (I just love sparkly things!) I have the opposite problem that my rings are too small, I hope for the day when I have your problem. That said I wear another ring on my wedding finger, it's one that we had sized big incase I swelled during my pregnancy (so funny that it was after I had my daughter that the rings don't fit). So that would be my suggestion, wear a different ring...if you don't have one stop at the store and buy a fake one, the bigger the better :bigsmile:

    Long story short, do what makes you feel better, you don't have to spend a ton, any Walmart, Target etc has a pretty big selection of faux rings that you can temporarily replace your real set with! Have fun with it!
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    My husband has never worn a wedding band and no one has ever questioned us.
  • oEmmao
    oEmmao Posts: 466 Member
    i didnt wear my rings for awhile as they were too loose and i didnt want to lose them :ohwell:

    you dont have to justify your actions to anyone but yourself, dont let it worry you :flowerforyou:

    let your hubby wear his, be proud that he wants to, some men hate wearing rings :indifferent:
  • AnaNotBanana
    AnaNotBanana Posts: 963 Member
    I always tell myself this when I'm worried that people are looking at me and judging me....People are so worried about themselves to even notice little things about you. I like LainMac's advice of just going and buying a costume ring for the time being until you can get your ring adjusted.
  • nanmosta1
    nanmosta1 Posts: 55
    Happily married for 35 years, havent worn my ring in 30. Never have given it a thought. Be proud it's too big
  • Laura80111
    Laura80111 Posts: 958 Member
    Head over to Walmart and get a wedding band that fits:flowerforyou: (you can get one for about $50 nothing fancy):wink: then when you are at the size you want take your wedding ring to a jewler's and have it resized:drinker:

    But really you are putting too much thought into this...let people think what they want:smile:
  • melbhall
    melbhall Posts: 519
    If people are going to judge you based on a ring, you don't need to associate with them anyway. I'm a stay at home mom, and usually don't wear my ring around the house. I go shopping with my little one and probably look like a single mom, I don't care, I know I have a great husband and marraige and the ring has nothing to do with it.

    Do what ever you want. Who cares about the ring, or how old your husband is!
  • jrich1
    jrich1 Posts: 2,408 Member
    Yeah and I never take my mistress to an open house :laugh:
  • ArchyJill
    ArchyJill Posts: 548 Member
    I think I know where you are coming from. My hubby is MUCH older than me (23 years) and I kind of rely on our rings to relieve myself from the worry that people think I am either his mistress or his daughter. I would either get the ring re-sized (if you think you are close to goal weight) or get a fake. I'm sure most people wouldn't notice, but our rings always put my mind at ease.
  • H_82
    H_82 Posts: 418 Member
    I doubt people would even notice. My husband never... okay, very very rarely, wears his ring (which I'm not too fond about), but everyone around our area knows who we are & that we're married.
  • Amber030583
    Amber030583 Posts: 490 Member
    I wouldn't really worry about it and let your husband wear his. If you want to wear yours you can do what I did. Take it to the jewelry store that you got it from and see if they can put a sizer on it. Then when you are at your ideal weight get it resized.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    You are probably stressing over nothing. Not everyone wears a ring. The most people will think is how nice it is that your daughter has both parents at open house. I don't wear a ring to school functions and I am always alone. I couldn't care less what the other parents think. I am there for my child.

    And by the way, who in their right mind would take a mistress to a school function???


    LOL @ Who in their right mind would take a mistress to a school function???
    It was a lot more funny when you asked that. Than when I thought it!!

    You are right, I am there for my child!! Thank you ;)
  • SouthernBell86
    SouthernBell86 Posts: 275 Member
    I think you should definitely let your husband wear his ring. You have nothing to hide, so don't act like you do. If someone thinks you are his mistress, they will probably ask the teacher or someone about it and the teacher will say "Oh, that is Mr. and Mrs. X, little Bobby's parents."

    If it bothers you not to wear them, find a chain to put your wedding ring and engagement ring on, and wear it so that people can see it. If anyone asks, just tell them proudly that you have lost weight and they don't fit anymore.

    Also, ask around at different jewelers in town, one of them may have a solution for you that isn't expensive :)
  • cmw72
    cmw72 Posts: 390 Member
    I've been married for 15 years now, and we don't even wear rings.

    Do people even really notice these things?
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
    I think you're worrying too much.

    I lost my ring while fishing over a year ago (just slid right off and into the lake), and my wife's doesn't fit anymore either.

    and really we don't think about it much.
  • Nlongenecker
    Nlongenecker Posts: 765
    My hubby never wears his ring because he's a welder and a piece of molten metal can melt it into his finger or it can get caught in machinery he works on. We just look eternally engaged with me always wearing mine. He'll put it on for a special occasion. But I don't think much about it. I don't think you should worry that much. If people are that nosy, be sure to give them a whopper of a story :wink:
  • loverstreet
    loverstreet Posts: 227 Member
    I agree with everyone else! Don't worry about it. My husband has never worn his ring. I take mine off at night so there are days I forget to put it on, or I purposely do not wear it on the weekends. I don't think or care about whether or not other people are looking!
  • nikki91950
    nikki91950 Posts: 647
    it sounds like you're kind of strapped for time here. why don't you just find a nice, empty chain from your jewelry box and wear the ring around your neck, if you're really so stressed over it :D
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    Thank you every one!! You all are awesome.

    I am going to "let" hubby wear his ring. Go without Mine, and Forget about it!!
    I plan on having a great time with my daughter.
    If some one thinks bad things, then Oh Well. They can get over it .

    What would I do without my MFP 's :heart: :drinker: :smooched:
  • fitterpam
    fitterpam Posts: 3,064 Member
    I've been married - happily I might add - for almost 9 years and haven't worn the ring in about 5. I'm not a jewelry person. My husband never takes his off. I can tell you that when we're in a restaurant and waiting for the food, we will sometimes hold hands and I know people notice that he's got one and I don't. I've never been called out on it so I don't think it matters much.
  • timbotina
    timbotina Posts: 1,130 Member
    I wouldn't worry too much...just enjoy your daughter..this means a lot to her....and you could always wear it on a necklace if you are worried, I always see the contestants on the biggest looser doing this....
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    never mind......:noway:
This discussion has been closed.

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