Bad Marriage? Mistress?

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13

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  • thirtyby40
    thirtyby40 Posts: 702 Member
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    I think you are far too worried about what other people think of you and your situation. I would have my husband wear his ring. Most people wont notice, and the ones who do may just think you left it home on the counter after doing dishes or making bread. The ones who cast judgements without knowing you are not worth knowing anyways so who cares what they think??
  • sbilyeu75
    sbilyeu75 Posts: 567 Member
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    To be honest, it's not likely they are going to pay attention to whether either of you are wearing wedding rings or not. I have a friend who has been with the father of her children for 16 years and they are not married. It just matters that the parents are there.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    Ok honestly WHO CARES WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS!!!!!????

    If you are in a stable happy marriage ring or no ring does it really matter what other people thinks about your relationship?

    I have been happily married for 22 years. My husband stopped wearing his ring after the first year because he just doesn't like jewerly. I wear my ring for the most part but sometimes I don't. I go to my children's functions with my hubby or without hubby (sometimes he can't make it or vice versa) i wear my ring sometimes I don't. If people are paying that close of attention then someone need to get a LIFE seriously!!!

    That is just my 2 cents!.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
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    To be honest, it's not likely they are going to pay attention to whether either of you are wearing wedding rings or not. I have a friend who has been with the father of her children for 16 years and they are not married. It just matters that the parents are there.

    Thank you. I just worried because . It is a small school . In a very small town.
    Every one , knows every one here.
    Since I am from Delaware. I am an outsider here. Just don't want people who do not
    know me/ us to get the wrong idea.

    Thank's to every one though. I really appreciate the response!!
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    OMG! You are so kidding right? If we all only had this to roll around in our heads... seriously you need to get a hobby, you're worrying about something others will spend no time even giving another thought to.

    Wonder why this is even in your head????? I mean really, and I'm serious here, perhaps talking to someone professional might help with these OCD thoughts. This is exactly normal stuff to worry about.:huh:

    Some ppl don't wear their rings at work so they don't get damaged, some don't wear them because they are to small, to big, afraid they will lose them.

    ohhhh and by all means, Let you Hubs wear his wedding ring, why tell him he can't wear his ring????? :noway: Seriously there's gotta be something way deeper bugging you than this!!:noway:

    Well thank you for the advice. Did not ever think I had OCD thoughts, that I needed to speak with some one professional about.
    There just seems to be way way way more in this world going on to be concerned about than if someone worries if someone else thinks they might be a mistress. It's hard for me to wrap my head around this worry is all. I would never even notice something like that, if someone had on a pretty ring, I might notice. No ring, who cares???

    The post just seemed bizzarre, like there's gotta be more than just a ring issue ya know? Maybe it's more the age thing that's buggin you that ppl will worry about?? Who knows, I just know life has far more worries in it than this for me.

    Good luck figuring out how to deal with your issue tonight:flowerforyou:
    Sounds like I'm not the only one that thinks this might be a bit overboard on the worrying.:tongue:
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    Ok honestly WHO CARES WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS!!!!!????
    :wink:
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
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    OMG! You are so kidding right? If we all only had this to roll around in our heads... seriously you need to get a hobby, you're worrying about something others will spend no time even giving another thought to.

    Wonder why this is even in your head????? I mean really, and I'm serious here, perhaps talking to someone professional might help with these OCD thoughts. This is exactly normal stuff to worry about.:huh:

    Some ppl don't wear their rings at work so they don't get damaged, some don't wear them because they are to small, to big, afraid they will lose them.

    ohhhh and by all means, Let you Hubs wear his wedding ring, why tell him he can't wear his ring????? :noway: Seriously there's gotta be something way deeper bugging you than this!!:noway:

    Well thank you for the advice. Did not ever think I had OCD thoughts, that I needed to speak with some one professional about.
    There just seems to be way way way more in this world going on to be concerned about than if someone worries if someone else thinks they might be a mistress. It's hard for me to wrap my head around this worry is all. I would never even notice something like that, if someone had on a pretty ring, I might notice. No ring, who cares???

    The post just seemed bizzarre, like there's gotta be more than just a ring issue ya know? Maybe it's more the age thing that's buggin you that ppl will worry about?? Who knows, I just know life has far more worries in it than this for me.

    Good luck figuring out how to deal with your issue tonight:flowerforyou:
    Sounds like I'm not the only one that thinks this might be a bit overboard on the worrying.:tongue:

    Thank you very much for your concern . I do appreciate all the comments. I hope to have a great night tonight =0)
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    Yeah and I never take my mistress to an open house :laugh:
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Cause that would just be wrong! LOL
    :drinker: :tongue: :laugh: :laugh:
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    OMG! You are so kidding right? If we all only had this to roll around in our heads... seriously you need to get a hobby, you're worrying about something others will spend no time even giving another thought to.

    Wonder why this is even in your head????? I mean really, and I'm serious here, perhaps talking to someone professional might help with these OCD thoughts. This is exactly normal stuff to worry about.:huh:

    Some ppl don't wear their rings at work so they don't get damaged, some don't wear them because they are to small, to big, afraid they will lose them.

    ohhhh and by all means, Let you Hubs wear his wedding ring, why tell him he can't wear his ring????? :noway: Seriously there's gotta be something way deeper bugging you than this!!:noway:

    Well thank you for the advice. Did not ever think I had OCD thoughts, that I needed to speak with some one professional about.
    There just seems to be way way way more in this world going on to be concerned about than if someone worries if someone else thinks they might be a mistress. It's hard for me to wrap my head around this worry is all. I would never even notice something like that, if someone had on a pretty ring, I might notice. No ring, who cares???

    The post just seemed bizzarre, like there's gotta be more than just a ring issue ya know? Maybe it's more the age thing that's buggin you that ppl will worry about?? Who knows, I just know life has far more worries in it than this for me.

    Good luck figuring out how to deal with your issue tonight:flowerforyou:
    Sounds like I'm not the only one that thinks this might be a bit overboard on the worrying.:tongue:

    Thank you very much for your concern . I do appreciate all the comments. I hope to have a great night tonight =0)
    and ya know what?? I really think you will!!:flowerforyou: :heart:

    I LOVE the idea of getting a chain so you can continue to wear your ring close to your heart before you resize it down the road (if that's what you intend to to):love: I think a ring on a chain is always so pretty when I see them :happy: The left hand ring fingers is connected to the heart (someone can share more details if they can break it down more..lol) which is why we wear out wedding rings on our left finger. So that's why the chain idea always seems so special. Whether it's the loss of a spouse, ring size issue, work issue etc.

    Really, I didn't mean to be down on you if it came across that way, the post perhaps just hit me wrong is all:flowerforyou:
    Relax, have a good time, and get to know others in town, before to long they'll know you're working on getting fit and the cat will be out of the bag:wink:
  • Kminor67
    Kminor67 Posts: 900 Member
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    I haven't been able to wear my wedding ring for 5 years, because I got too fat for it. Don't worry about it. First of all, it's none of their business whether or not you wear your ring. Second, why are you worried about what others think? You have a good marriage, you're happy, and you kids are growing up in a two-parent household. Don't let what others might think rule what you do.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
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    I haven't been able to wear my wedding ring for 5 years, because I got too fat for it. Don't worry about it. First of all, it's none of their business whether or not you wear your ring. Second, why are you worried about what others think? You have a good marriage, you're happy, and you kids are growing up in a two-parent household. Don't let what others might think rule what you do.

    Thank you, I try not to worry about what others think..
    but when I am in a place with people I do not know.. and who are all tight knit
    just don't want them to think bad of me. That's all .
    Some times it is hard being an outsider. Most of these people have never even left this county/ or town .
    I am 10 minutes from new brunswick Canada . Where you see more moose than people (almost ;) )
    Here I come from 900 miles away. They already question who I am, and where I am from.
    You are right, I should not worry about what others think .

    Thank you, and every one else sooo much for taking the time to write =0)
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
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    I know what you're saying - I would feel the same way too but it really doesn't matter (like the others have said lol) And I always look for peoples rings - its a weird nosey obsession of mine. :embarassed:

    I didn't wear mine at all while I was prego with both kids. I was so embarassed everywhere I went being so huge pregnant without rings. :noway:

    And are they so big that they won't stay on at all?? Unless there is a fear that you'll lose them bc they'll fall off from being so big I'd say just wear em! :flowerforyou:

    EDIT- Nevermind, just reread the OP. Sorry :(
  • KimSchnizleinWECHANGED
    KimSchnizleinWECHANGED Posts: 189
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    First of all ... That's not routinely the first thing I look for on a person. IMHO I think you're obsessing about it too much. Get a nice chain, and until you get down to the weight you want to be, and can have your wedding ring resized, wear it around your neck openly displayed ..... Then hubby can wear his ring too.

    KIM
  • Steelytop
    Steelytop Posts: 145 Member
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    Wow! Avalanche! Ask a question and ......!

    I think everyone is doing a great job of staying focused on the question. I've also noticed that all the correct answers were given before I even had a chance to post so my work is done!

    I'd have the Heebegebee's a bit too going to the school but I think you'll get over that soon enough. I used to be so social but over the last 10 - 11 years I've absorbed a good part of my wife's personality. She in turn has become much more outgoing. She showed me I didn't need to say a word to learn a lot. And that often saying nothing at all was better than saying something. I test out as a blended extrovert/introvert. LOL! Balance?

    It never occurred to me to take my ring off for 5 seconds. It's getting a little lose but truthfully almost all my extra weight is in one place. Mid-section. My arms and legs look relatively normal all things considered. My fingers have always been long and slender. If the ring starts falling off though I will have it re-sized pronto. Side note: My wife took her ring off for a week once while she was mad at me just to see if I would notice. I'm usually very observant but I did not notice. I didn't even know it was an option to do so. So, I never considered it. But I understand those who might not be jewelry people or perhaps have their own reason for not wearing their ring.

    Bottom line to me: If I see two people together doesn't matter if they're just dating or married. Same thing to me. It's not extra real just because of the ring for me. I always treated any dating relationship the same way as being married. I don't see much difference if it's a monogamous relationship.

    Ring on a necklace is a great idea. Re-sizing is better but you have to wait until you're comfortable you're picking the right size. What if you lost more weight after having it re-sized?
  • chelekaz
    chelekaz Posts: 871 Member
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    My thoughts: No one is going to be searching out if you both have rings on. But... if you are concerned you can always wear yours on a chain around your neck... my cousin did that when she was married because her rings got too tight. Just a thought.
  • tater8589
    tater8589 Posts: 616
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    Don't worry so much. If anyone asks tell them.. "Hey, I'm have lost SO much weight that my rings just don't fit :bigsmile: :blushing: )
    Or you can always go to Walmart, Claires, Icing, Piercing Pagoda... etc and buy an inexpensive ring that fits, even if its a simple band. I personally have 2 rings. I have my diamonds that my husband gave me and I love to wear them, but I have a simple band that I wear when I workout, move/lift heavy objects, or just don't feel like dressing up.. or when my hands swell. Or if you really wanna go all out you could have a ring tattoo.. however it is hard to find a ring that will cover it up later. Good luck and just have some fun.
  • lisalynn35
    lisalynn35 Posts: 250 Member
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    I think you may be making a bigger deal out of this than you need to. First, who cares what anyone else things you know you're married. Second, I doubt anyone will notice. Just have fun and enjoy the time with your kiddo.
  • candlegal
    candlegal Posts: 220 Member
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    Honey you have way over thought this one:wink: Do you have another ring that does fit? Even just a band? Don't make your husband take his off. I couldn't wear mine when I was pregnant so I got a cheap gold band. But you may not have time. Tell everyone he's buying you a NEW one or yours is being repaired. Don't worry, I'm sure your daughter will straighten any misconceptions up if they come out through other students LOL. You will be fine, I'm sure it is troubling you more than anyone else will even notice, this IS 2010, some people don't even DO rings. Just relaxe and don't worry, they'll probably notice your weight loss and then you can say "Ya and my wedding ring doesn't even fit anymore".
  • 2daughtermom
    2daughtermom Posts: 80
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    You can go to any jewelry store and have a have them fit in a piece to make it fit your finger. I even think they can cut it to make it smaller. I know for a fact they can make them larger.
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    It's 2010 woman! I took my daughter's father and step father to the same school function together and I don't give a f**k what anyone thinks. She has two great men in her life that adore her!

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