The Five Percent Solution.

Two mornings ago, I faced the 5% situation in court and met the challenge. This morning I did the same thing on my exercise walk.

Thursday morning - I represented a high profile public official in a constitutional law case in federal district court. The issue was whether or not the court should dismiss the case in favor of my client. Both sides briefed the heck out of the case. I thought we had the better of the argument though. The next step-- oral hearing.

They say that the first few questions from the court are a good indication on how the court will rule. Well, as soon as the case was called, the judge said, "Mr. TFT... " I stood up and responded to several tough questions. Not a good sign as far as how the court would ultimately rule.

There's another saying in the law that when it comes to oral argument, 50% of the time, it makes no difference to the result, 45% of the time, you can actually hurt your client's position, and only 5% of the time can you change the court's mind in your client's favor.

Four hours later, the court ended the hearing. But not before announcing an oral ruling in my client's favor from the bench. I had somehow found the 5% solution. I can't lie. It felt amazing.

Flash forward 48 hours. My neighborhood. 91 degrees, 43% humidity, "feels like" temperature around the century mark. Due to travel reasons, I couldn't wait until tonight to let it cool off for my exercise walk. It would have to be in the heat of the day. A problem for many people, but particularly when you're on the "oh my God" side of 400 pounds.

I knew I would need something special to make it through my entire walk. So before i left, I downloaded the soundtrack from the movie, "Pitch Perfect." Not likely to be an Academy Award winner, but a really fun movie that I really enjoyed. Especially the music. So $9.99 plus tax later, the soundtrack was loaded on my iPod and ready to be fired up.

About 10 minutes into my walk, a woman on a bicycle passed me from behind. As she got about 20 yards ahead of me, she stopped and turned around toward me. It looked like she wanted to say something. I pulled my headphone out of my left ear (leaving the right one in) and said, "can I help you?" She said, "were you talking to me?"

I had no clue what she was talking about. When she passed me, I was deep in the throes of enjoying my newly purchased and very bouncy pop music. I needed to figure out what she was talking about. So I did what sometimes do in court. I bought a few seconds. I cupped my hand to my left ear and said, "I'm sorry?"

She repeated, "were you just talking to me?"

I suddenly froze in my tracks. Through my right ear, I heard the end of the song that had been playing on my iPod. It was a medley that included a snippet from the song "No Diggity." And right when she rode past me, the phrase, "I like the way you work it," had played on my iPod. Worse yet, I have a sometimes habit of singing along with my music when I'm particularly into it. In this case, a bad and potentially embarrassing combination of situation and timing. She thought I had just told her that I liked the way she worked it on her bicycle.

I glanced at the woman. She was sort of matronly. Not bad looking, but not exceptional. However, she was riding her bike for exercise on a horrifically hot and humid morning. Trying to improve herself, like I was. If I told her that I had just been singing with the lyrics, it might have hurt her feelings. If I said I had been talking to her, she might have enjoyed the compliment. Or it might have pissed her off. Or worse than either of those two things, she might have thought I was making a pass at her. Basically, just like court 48 hours before, I quickly calculated there was about a 50% chance what I said would not matter to her, a 45% chance that it would piss her off, and a 5% chance that she'd appreciate it. How to respond.... how to respond...

After a few seconds that felt like a few hours, I came up with the best response I could muster under the circumstance (sweat streaming down onto my bright yellow t-shirt in the heat of a Houston summer day). I shrugged my shoulders, raised my palms to the sky, and gave her a big smile. I let her take it however she wanted to.

The woman shook her head, smiled, and began riding away. It worked. She took my accidental streetside karaoke as a compliment. I hope it made her day. It sure made mine. I pushed my left earbud back into my head and continued my walk. Thank God for 5% solutions!