unsupportive family

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beethedreamer
beethedreamer Posts: 465 Member
in Motivation and Support
i was just wondering if everyone's family supports you during your weight loss journey.

I still live at home with my parents and two younger brothers. i was finally fed up with my mom's cooking style (she thinks frozen veggies with about a half a cup of butter is healthy). so I started cooking for myself everyday. everyone teases me because I measure all my food and make healthier versions of what they're eating. don't get me wrong, my mom thinks it's wonderful that I'm losing weight, and wishes she could do the same, but she hasn't realized that a diet change is in order to accomplish that.

I know many of you have your own families and do the majority of the cooking for them, but do they understand and agree with what your doing?

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  • 4lafz
    4lafz Posts: 1,078 Member
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    Good for you! You seem to know more about proper nutrition that they do. I am not sure they are trying to be unsupportive - they just do not know! Perhaps you can teach them through example. Best of luck!
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    i was just wondering if everyone's family supports you during your weight loss journey.

    I still live at home with my parents and two younger brothers. i was finally fed up with my mom's cooking style (she thinks frozen veggies with about a half a cup of butter is healthy). so I started cooking for myself everyday. everyone teases me because I measure all my food and make healthier versions of what they're eating. don't get me wrong, my mom thinks it's wonderful that I'm losing weight, and wishes she could do the same, but she hasn't realized that a diet change is in order to accomplish that.

    I know many of you have your own families and do the majority of the cooking for them, but do they understand and agree with what your doing?
    I think it's awesome you took charge of your life so young, and what I mean by that is, so many of us didn't learn about healthier ways of eating until much later in life (I was off and on dieting as a teen even when I didn't need to be, but back then I thought I was fat..gah!). I think it's awesome you're doing your own meals, I think 4lafz has a valid point, perhaps your Mom & all simply don't know better ways. Also keep in mind, little brothers are gonna be little brothers! lol That's their job to tease, just ignore and keep on counting out and weighing your food, you're the one that will be fit from it all!

    I'm glad to hear your Mom is excited for you, she's got to be plenty proud of you losing the 50 lbs. you've already dropped!!! I saw your healthified meaball sandwich recipe on another thread....good on you for being creative!! :drinker:

    Gather your support from your MFP buds and continue doing your meals at home the way you know you need too. You never know when you become someone else's example!:wink:
  • Sauchie
    Sauchie Posts: 357 Member
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    I also share a communal kitchen area with family.... And it can be hard. My mother recently bought mint meltaways.... So I hide them on her.... but, dont let them get you down just use it to motivate you harder :-) Best of luck
  • Kravmaga
    Kravmaga Posts: 15
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    my parents basically just give bad weight loss advice. their thoughts on weight loss is simply running and eating only vegetables.

    If i happen to eat three meals and i'm still way under my calorie goal, even before exercise, and i need to eat something, I get chewed out.

    My parents say they don't make unhealthy food, but someone of the stuff they make are filled with grease and salts. I've seen giant grease bubbles floating in a "healthy" soup they make a few times.

    I generally cook for myself, or try to portion what they make for me.

    Whats probably the hardest is when i buy healthy food for myself such as lean chicken or beef, it get thrown into what ever my parents make for the whole family. I bought a pack of 12 dollar lean chicken breasts once, and I only had 2 out of the 10 that were in there. the rest was cooked up by the family.
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
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    I'm glad you are able to make some family recipes and cooking healthier for you. :) That way if your family is more interested later on, you have done some of the work for them to start getting healthier too!

    I do the cooking for my family... so basically they have to eat what I cook or make something themselves (okay, that sounded meaner than I really am about it!). It is just me, my husband and our 4 year old and they are supportive. My husband gets annoyed every once in a while at me measuring everything out or if I serve chicken too many nights in a row but for the most part he is really supportive. I am looking at this as a lifestyle change for all of us, so we definitely have treats and some remakes of family and kid favorites in there. Chicken nuggets, sloppy joes, pizza, and hamburgers all fit in our weekly menus at times... they are just healthier versions. In exchange for them being supportive of all of that... I try to leave my husband alone about what he eats for meals besides dinner and refrain from too many comments about his decisions when we do eat out (the frustrating fact is that he probably gets about 1000 calories over what I get even if he is trying to *lose* weight just by virtue of being a man and being 9 inches taller than me!)
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
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    I posted a topic like this when I started. My mom who is diabetic only because she is overweight, loved to cook bacon while I am working out on the treadmill. She would undermine my efforts at every turn. Finally I asked her why she wasn't supportive since this effort to lose weight may allow me to avoid back surgery. She hadn't even noticed what she was doing. I can't say that I've seen her take any interest in her health but she is now carefull of her comments and even offers support.
    Bottom line, ask for what you want.
    Your situation is different, your mom is doing things the way she knows how. Time for you to show her there is another way. Keep up the efforts.
  • bree5291
    bree5291 Posts: 50
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    Keep it up! Try making some of the things that you are starting to make for your whole family to show them that eating well doesn't mean eating bland. Don't let them stop you!
  • VardaElentari
    VardaElentari Posts: 55
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    I am proud of you for taking the initiative to change your diet. Your family will eventually see the results and perhaps join you in healthier habits. We tend to eat the way those around us eat, so good for you for paving the way for your health and the health of your family. I have a good friend who is doing the same thing, and she too is being teased by her siblings. Her mother is a little offended that she doesn't want to eat her cooking anymore, but I think they are a close enough family that they will learn to accept my friend's choices and maybe even adopt them, too.
  • cutmd
    cutmd Posts: 1,168 Member
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    I have multiple versions of relatively unsupportive family members.

    1. My dear husband, an athlete who supports my working out unless I try to prioritize it over him but thinks counting calories and basically any version of dieting is stupid.

    2. My parents, who support me but don't want me to lose any more weight or do any jumping for the sake of the grandchildren they fantasize about

    3. My extended family, who all eat terribly and have the bodies and health to show for it, but think I'm too skinny and picky

    The only one that matters is the hubby cause he's always cooking some deliciously rich Jamaican food without veggies. I have no willpower when it comes to coconut rice and his other fattening dishes so I plan around it and steam up veggies for both of us while he's finishing up.
  • macgirl1906
    macgirl1906 Posts: 18
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    My fiance came out to the kitchen one evening when I was trying to decide what to have for dinner--I was very close to my calorie intake for the day... so I was scavenging the cabinets, looking at ALL the labels! He says to me, "You're pathetic"--he didn't mean this meanly, but he was laughing at me for looking at all the labels! He has never had a weight problem and weighs around 175lbs--I weigh 213lbs!

    I make my own meals too, separate from what I cook for him. I can't eat the things I used to eat--frozen meals, etc.

    I too measure EVERYTHING out before I stuff my face! From measuring utensils to counting out crackers!

    Ignore your brothers and those making fun of you :) You're doing what's best for yourself!
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    My fiance came out to the kitchen one evening when I was trying to decide what to have for dinner--I was very close to my calorie intake for the day... so I was scavenging the cabinets, looking at ALL the labels! He says to me, "You're pathetic"--he didn't mean this meanly, but he was laughing at me for looking at all the labels! He has never had a weight problem and weighs around 175lbs--I weigh 213lbs!

    I make my own meals too, separate from what I cook for him. I can't eat the things I used to eat--frozen meals, etc.

    I too measure EVERYTHING out before I stuff my face! From measuring utensils to counting out crackers!

    Ignore your brothers and those making fun of you :) You're doing what's best for yourself!
    Yea :laugh: I think for those naturally skinny peeps that soooo don't understant the measuring and weighting of foods, it must seem quite bizzare, it's a life they'll never probably understand or need to do. But love to hear that he's teasing you in a loving way and realizes you want to eat well, get healthy and feel great about yourself. So many of us are simply BLOWN AWAY when we first start reading labels, omg, especially the sodium, it makes or breaks if I'm eating a particular soup. LOL

    I picked up something to buy the other day out of need in a pinch of time on a late night at work, ran out of snack etc. Frozen meals are the :devil: This puppy had 2300 mg of sodium and 345 cals, 23 fat and on it goes but the first thing I did was practically toss it into the air back in the case. That's a FULL DAY'S worth of the sodium (according to the new healthy guidelines. I always am parched when I find myself catching myself eating to much sodium in a meal even if I'm less than 1/2 below the charts.

    After we begin to eat healthy, salt is to salty, sweet is to sweet, amazing how our bodies adapt for us, very cool isn't it! So much past abuse and they bounce back pretty darn well:wink::tongue:
  • hkystar
    hkystar Posts: 1,290 Member
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    You also could try offering to cook for your whole family once a week. Might lessen up some of the stress on your mom and you can use it to show them healthy choice options.

    Its really good that you are eating right even if they aren't there to support you, definitely keep that up!

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