Please help me help my husband

trixygirl · September 2010

My husband needs to lose a little over 100 lbs. He is gone from the house 13 to 15 hours a day for work, 5 days a week. For now, he never knows what location he's going to be at. We are having a real hard time deciding what and when he should eat. I have gotten on the healthier track and lost 33 lbs over the last 4 months. He in turn has gained more weight. He drinks beer also. He's so tired when he gets home, that he doesn't feel like exercising. He already gets up at 4:15 every morning!

Anyone got any ideas? Please help, he's 44 and I'd really like to have him around for a lot longer.

sallyLunn · September 2010

Its a lack of sleep and no schedule that's getting him. I feel for him. Of course he's tired when he gets home.

He could try packing his meals for the day. I like beer too. I figure it into my diet schedule. I joked with my husband that I lost weight just by switching to lite beer. Depending on the beer he is drinking now, that can be 50-100 calories difference. If he likes dark beer, Guinness Stout is right around 100 calories a serving.

vickiele1 · September 2010

Wow - I feel his pain - I know what it is like to get up at 4;15 (that's the time I usually "try" to get up) and then work 10 - 12 hours a day, then HAVE to come home and exercise. It is horribly hard - which is part of the reason I gained so much weight in the last 3 years myself (there are other contributing factors as well, but a big part is the working hours and being so tired). So, Here is what I think might help - it will take some work on your part though to help him.

Maybe you have already done this - don't know - but try making his lunch ahead of time - breakfast too. If you make a healthy breakfast - like an egg white omelet filled with a lot of really good things (only accumulates to about 350 calories with turkey/chicken, green/red peppers, onion, a small amount of chopped tomatoes, and some low fat cheddar cheese). It is sooo... good and filling and yet too many calories for your first meal. Try to give him water to drink with the crystal light packets already mixed in - helps to keep him hydrated, tastes good, and will hep curb his sugar cravings. For lunch, try to prepare things that he can either heat up quickly in the microwave or can just eat cold if he doesn't have access to a microwave. I like to cook chicken breast tenders and my favorite veggies - eat part and save the rest for lunch the next day. 3 - 4 ounces of chicken and about 1/2 cup of the veggies. Also, throw in some cut up celery and carrot sticks with a small container of fat free ranch dressing (tastes delicious and low in calories as well). For supper, try to plan something that is lower in calories like fish/chicken/shrimp and lots of vegetables again. There are some really great Birds Eye Steamer veggies out there - my favorite is beans with a twist - they are sooo... good and low in calories.

I love having a beer or two at night myself, and know that it probably not something I will give up. But I do choose to drink the Michelob Ultra Amber. One bottle contains only 95 calories and it is a fulfilling beer - a little more expensive, but worth it to me.

Exercise: If he could even do 20 minutes of somekind of aerobic exercise at night - that would help. Walking for 20 minutes, or playing basket ball, or something - just 20 minutes every night - I know it is hard, but 20 minutes could really help. I have the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred DVD (cost is somewhere between $10.00 - 15.00 plus shipping). It is a 20 minute workout - very challenging, but can be done. Don't know how he feels about doing an exercise DVD, but there are probably others out there that a guy would appreciate and maybe do.

I don't know if any of my thoughts will work or not.

Blessings

Vickie

FireRox21 · September 2010

I don't really have any advice, but I do understand your frustration. My fiance is the same way, except he doesn't gain weight amazingly! He has the worst schedule, both work and eating. He is up at 1:30am everyday and is home by 12pm. I pack him a healthy lunch everyday, which he eats, except when he gets a giant breakfast burrito that he tries to hide from me. When he comes home, he eats whatever is leftover in the fridge or some frozen burritos and then he sleeps from 1pm till about 6pm. Then he eats dinner and is back to sleep for about 3 hours. He is way too tired to work out anymoe. He used to go to the gym with me 3 days a week, but that has completely stopped. He has become extremely dependant on sleeping meds and my painkillers to fall asleep which is getting out of control. He was told by the doctor to start exercising, even just half an hour a day, to help with his sleeping, but he just refuses to do it. It is frustrating for both of us, because he has to work (he's a heavy diesel mechanic), he needs sleep, but he just won't try to get off the meds and exercise!!! Hang in there.

thomaszabel · September 2010

If he doesn't have time or motivation to exercise, he'll need to work on portion control, and go for smaller meals/snacks more often throughout the day. He should try not to eat right before bed.

Bringing food from home to work might help, especially if he usually ends up eating at fast food restaurants during the day, but that may mean you have to get the food packed for him if he doesn't want to do it.

I understand the beer thing. My suggestion is go with light beer or low carb one. But those don't taste good to a seasoned beer lover. I switched from beer to vodka and tonic, or sometimes rum and diet coke, and it worked really well for keeping carbs and calories down.

Bottom line though is nothing will work unless there is buy-in from him. If he doesn't want to watch what he eats or exercise, then it's not going to happen.

rskidmore · September 2010

Bump to tell the hubby later!

failleen · September 2010

trixygirl, if you want some information on helping your hubby lose weight and feeling good while doing it please send me a personal message on MFP. My hubby is also in the process of losing over 100 pounds and he gets up at 2:30 every morning to go to work also. Your story really resonates with me and I just want to help. That's what we are all here for right. Hope to hear from you soon. My best to you and your hubby.

Bryan190 · September 2010

I’m very sympathetic to your husband’s situation. Constant travel over my career is one of the reasons for the weight gain I’m now trying to lose. The two biggest factors he’s dealing with that make weight loss more difficult are time and control of meal choices.

You made clear why he has little time for pre-preparing food items he can take with him, but if you have a bit more time in your day maybe you can help by finding food items he likes and pre-package them in quantities he can consume every 3 hours or so. Use a food scale to make preparation of packaged meals easier. There are portable coolers/heaters that plug into car power plugs (AKA cigarette lighters) that would make carrying a variety of items easier. Having plenty of zero calorie flavored water, coffee, etc helps bridge the time between meals without feeling hungry. He/you could write on the baggie for each mini-meal the info necessary to record it later – just save the baggies. If he can find food items he likes that are also filling and fit within his plan, he can make room for a light beer or two at the end of the day so he’s not denying himself that treat. An example of an easy to carry mini-meal I like is 2oz Boar’s Head roast beef & one slice of 2% provolone cheese wrapped in a La Tortilla Factory low carb high fiber large tortilla – a meal that has only 230 calories but 27g of protein and 12g of fiber that is quite filling. Drink a couple of cups of flavored water on top of all that protein and fiber and I feel full.

Control of food choices for someone who travels can be complicated by meals with co-workers or clients, but usually that is no more than a once per day issue that he will need to learn to order/eat sensibly, knowing that he has his next pre-packaged meal waiting for him soon after the restaurant event is over.

Not feeling like exercising at the end of a long day is understandable, but perhaps with an extra 15 minutes in the morning 3 times per week he could do some floor strength exercises like push-ups & sit-ups. On weekends he could two days of cardiovascular exercises. Once he develops the habit of exercise and a bit better conditioning he will want to make time for it.

As I said before if you have more time you can help him with preparing food items, but the bottom line is he has to want it for himself.

trixygirl · September 2010

Thanks everyone for all your help. He does drink light beer and not much of it ton week days, weekends are a different story. I have started getting up earlier to help him have something decent to eat for breakfast. I do have a lot more time than him. I really didn't want to do everything for him, but looks like I'm gonna have to do a lot. I think I had the wrong mind set. I had it in my head that if wanted to do it, he would try a little harder. But, yea, I do have lot more time than him. I think packing his food for the day for him is a great idea. Now that it is cooling off, it will be easier. He didn't want to take anything that needed refrigerating, but he does sometimes.

I get up at 5:30 and workout 2 hours every morning, take care of the grandbaby and then take her to daycare and go to work. But I do get home a couple of hours earlier than him. I think I will start planning his meals for him and packing everything. I've been really pushing him for 20 minutes of exercise each day, but it's not working. We have lots of exercise eqpt, treadmill, elliptical, exercise bike. I did get him to do 20 minutes on the bicycle a few times in the last couple of weeks. His feet hurt from being on them most of the day, so he doesn't want to walk. I know that will be better as the weight starts coming off, but we've got to get to that point first. I'll start pushing for more exercise on the weekends.

trixygirl · September 2010

Thanks everyone for all your help. He does drink light beer and not much of it ton week days, weekends are a different story. I have started getting up earlier to help him have something decent to eat for breakfast. I do have a lot more time than him. I really didn't want to do everything for him, but looks like I'm gonna have to do a lot. I think I had the wrong mind set. I had it in my head that if wanted to do it, he would try a little harder. But, yea, I do have lot more time than him. I think packing his food for the day for him is a great idea. Now that it is cooling off, it will be easier. He didn't want to take anything that needed refrigerating, but he does sometimes.

I get up at 5:30 and workout 2 hours every morning, take care of the grandbaby and then take her to daycare and go to work. But I do get home a couple of hours earlier than him. I think I will start planning his meals for him and packing everything. I've been really pushing him for 20 minutes of exercise each day, but it's not working. We have lots of exercise eqpt, treadmill, elliptical, exercise bike. I did get him to do 20 minutes on the bicycle a few times in the last couple of weeks. His feet hurt from being on them most of the day, so he doesn't want to walk. I know that will be better as the weight starts coming off, but we've got to get to that point first. I'll start pushing for more exercise on the weekends.

trixygirl · September 2010

Oh yea and I do have Jillian Michael's 30 day shred too. It is tough on me, but I'm not real good with push ups and jumping jacks. I might have to try that one on him.

iplayoutside19 · September 2010

If he's on his feet all day, I think the last thing he needs is excersise. Sounds like he's pretty active already. Proper nutrition will probably do wonders....and proper nutrition is most of this battle anyway regardless of work schedule.

The empty calories are probably the biggest problem.

But he's not going to do anything unless HE wants to do it.

Please help me help my husband

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