I was having such a great day today! AND then...

Lemmynade
Lemmynade Posts: 160 Member
in Motivation and Support
I clocked a 3.6 pound loss.

I zipped up and wore an amazing dress to work.

I was complimented by 8am.

I logged my food, I cut my meat into a deck of cards before I ate it, and I skipped the butter on my sweet potato at lunch.

THEN my ex decided to text me. To tell me he's moved on. Which is fine! I'm happy for him! It was the way, and the attitude. I'm an incredibly civil and optimisic person. And yes, I do have to still deal with him until tomorrow at least, we have to do a banking chore to finalize this split. I feel deflated. It's my rest day from the gym, but I may need to do something to work out this angry sadness.

He makes me eat too. I eat for comfort, and right now a chocolate chip cookie chased with a bacon pizza sound so, so comfortable.

Any advice? I need help getting through the unhappy and re-find my morning happy...

Replies

  • gramadugger09
    gramadugger09 Posts: 3
    You cant let him dictate your moods You need to be strong for you and know that you are worth it. Do whats right for you and don't let him be the reason you slip.You can do this :)
  • janalayn
    janalayn Posts: 510 Member
    Don't let this make you unhappy ... as long as you aren't holding out hope that he will come back, then him moving on is a great thing for you. You can move forward freely without doubts or 'what if'. You control your reaction to a crisis. And you already know that turning to food is a bad choice. You deserve better. Choose what is going to make you happy in the long run instead of giving in to a weak moment that will just make you feel worse.

    Try reading "The Four Agreements" ... it will empower you to stop allowing other people to determine how you feel about yourself.

    Good luck
  • applecheeksaz
    applecheeksaz Posts: 86 Member
    Yes,
    Walk away from the cookie and pizza because after you eat that you will feel worse. Being an Ex HE KNOWS WHAT TO SAY TO PUSH YOUR BUTTONS!! Don't let him do it just tell your self one more day then on to new adventures!! Good luck and remember when one door closes another one opens.
  • judtod
    judtod Posts: 85
    Remember that he, and all the feelings that go along with him, are your past. Your future is full of the bright confident feelings you had earlier.
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
    I would never allow someone to have THAT much power over me. Don't sabotage yourself because of him, what will eating that pizza and cookie do for you? Make you feel better for what a second. Look good and feel great forever that is a win!
  • wild_wild_life
    wild_wild_life Posts: 1,334 Member
    He makes me eat too.

    No. Unless he forces food into your mouth, only you make yourself eat. Taking back that power and that responsibility is the only way you can stop doing it

    Recognizing that your instinct is to eat is over half the battle. You have to feel the feelings and then find other ways of comforting yourself. Going to the gym is an awesome idea, but don't use it to repress or escape from the feelings. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself to something besides food. You can do it!
  • pippywillow
    pippywillow Posts: 253 Member
    It may feel nice at the time but how will you feel after eating that bacon pizza? Sick? Fat? Greasy? Like a failure?

    Have your rest day tomorrow and have a nice workout to rest your mind. You'll feel better in the long run.
  • brookielaw
    brookielaw Posts: 814 Member
    Exes are exes for a reason. He's moving on---good for him, let him make someone else miserable. It's better that you come here and post about it than go out and make a decision that will make you happy for a fraction of a second, then filled with regret afterwards. Focus on the positive way your day started, and take ownership of that feeling. Keep it.
  • simsburyjet
    simsburyjet Posts: 999 Member
    Its just a very sad thing that is going on.. Just expressing it is probably helping you.
  • MichelleB69
    MichelleB69 Posts: 213 Member
    Sorry, but I call BS on his "moving on". If he had actually moved on, there would be no need to text you and tell you that. *Most* mature, happy, confident-in-their-decision men DO NOT send ex-texts like that, no matter what the motivation. Personally, I think he had an ulterior motive.
  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 777 Member
    I am sorry you are dealing with this. I would probably feel the same way you do. But why punish your body and cripple your progress today for him? Don't do it to yourself. Success is the best revenge. Good luck!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    Life is full of emotion.


    If hunger isn't the problem, food isn't the solution.


    However, pizza and cookies are yummy, so maybe fit them in.
  • c_tap77
    c_tap77 Posts: 189 Member
    go to the gym AND eat the cookie (just a small one :wink:)
  • Lemmynade
    Lemmynade Posts: 160 Member
    Holy Support!

    I am over the cookie, over the pizza, and drinking a big glass of water. In reality, water is my ultimate comfort food. I love it, it's great for my body, and there's absolutely no guilt. My mom and dad always gave me a glass of water to calm down... a great habit to make.

    I'm glad I posted here. None of you know me, yet we've got similar goals, and a common understanding of triggers and what it takes to ignore them and move on.

    Thank all of you for responding! It was immediate, and you've all helped me to deflate my angry sad, and move on with my day. Can't wait to see what's next for me.

    Best of luck on all of your goals, feel free to message me, friend me anytime you need support, I owe you one!
  • stephaliciousbarbie
    stephaliciousbarbie Posts: 8
    i love the quote that was stated "If hunger isn't the problem, then food isn't the solution". Just know that if he had to text you to tell you that he's moved on, he hasn't. But you need to. Ignore his antics,he's being childish, and know that you have more important things to do, like exercise. Let the anger be the motivation to jog another mile, smile, even though your heart is heavy, and know that you don't need him or a chocolate chip cookie right now. What you need to do is stay focused on your weight loss goals and move forward!!! Don't let it bother you one bit!
    :happy:
  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
    I clocked a 3.6 pound loss.

    I zipped up and wore an amazing dress to work.

    I was complimented by 8am.

    I logged my food, I cut my meat into a deck of cards before I ate it, and I skipped the butter on my sweet potato at lunch.

    THEN my ex decided to text me. To tell me he's moved on. Which is fine! I'm happy for him! It was the way, and the attitude. I'm an incredibly civil and optimisic person. And yes, I do have to still deal with him until tomorrow at least, we have to do a banking chore to finalize this split. I feel deflated. It's my rest day from the gym, but I may need to do something to work out this angry sadness.

    He makes me eat too. I eat for comfort, and right now a chocolate chip cookie chased with a bacon pizza sound so, so comfortable.

    Any advice? I need help getting through the unhappy and re-find my morning happy...

    No, he's just being a hurt little boy and needed the ego stroke of striking out at you. People who've moved on are indifferent.

    He just highlighted, underlined and bolded a reason for you to be happy that you're no longer with a petty person. Be glad you're free to find someone better.
  • Soupskin
    Soupskin Posts: 74 Member
    I feel your pain. I'm facing divorce.

    Using the lowest point of my life to get back on track for bettering myself for me and only me. I figure if I get on it now, I will be a lot less likely to be derailed in the future.
  • 36Frieda
    36Frieda Posts: 20 Member
    Living well is the best revenge.

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