Don't call me skinny.

I have been overweight my entire adult life. Even when I felt good about myself I was always in the overweight part of the chart.

Right now I have lost every single overweight pound I had. I am just under the halfway point of the ideal weight part of the chart. I am slim, I am now a small girl. People who have never seen the larger Nikki say nothing about my size. Occasionally during conversation someone might say "ooh she was a tiny girl, about your size" that never fails to make me laugh.

Now the new problem I have is people who actually knew me before the weight loss. Some are really, genuinely delighted for me and are so complimentary. Others have started to say that I'm skinny, some say I have gone too far. Some are rude and say I am all bones.

Posts on facebook about "curvier girls are better" keep jumping out at me. people commenting about ribs and hips. I want to comment and say that being overweight is not healthy and eating cake all the time is not good for you. I keep quiet.

I want to shout at people when they call me a skinny cow and say "well at least I'm not a fat cow like you" but I don't, because that is rude. Why is it ok to ridicule the slim but not the fat? why do people turn against you when you have worked really hard to get where you are. In a room full of people if someone shouts "Yo Skinny Girl" nobody would bat an eye. If I shouted "Hey Fat Girl" everyone would look at me and tut and give me dirty looks and probably throw a few insults at me.

Remember I have now been at both ends of this scale. I am slim, I was overweight, I was obese. I have seen it all, I have heard it all. I have had insults for being big and now for being slim.

Tell you what though. I'd rather get them for being slim. Deep down I know I am healthy, I can do anything I want.

Just don't call me skinny, and don't tell me to "go eat something" because I do eat, I eat loads. I just don't eat sausage rolls and cake and fast food every day.

Thanks for reading. Rant over.
Nikki x
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Replies

  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
    You look great!

    I always tell people, "I"m not skinny I'm fit!"

    It shuts them up. If they keep saying I'm skinny I just flash a leg and say "I'll squish you I swear!"
  • Thank you. You look great too. your response is great. I will use that in future. Thanks xxx
  • TheGymGypsy
    TheGymGypsy Posts: 1,023 Member
    A lot of people have embraced the "curvy is better" mantra just because they want an excuse to not change their habits. I don't put any stock in it really. I am glowing with health and confidence 24 hours a day, and no comments about my weight even register with me anymore. I FEEL good, I am physically fit, so why should I care what a couch potato has to say about it?
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
    You look great!

    I always tell people, "I"m not skinny I'm fit!"

    It shuts them up. If they keep saying I'm skinny I just flash a leg and say "I'll squish you I swear!"

    I am definitely stealing this. I hate it when people call me skinny, especially since I'm 165lb, just doesn't compute.
  • Beautifully said. You have the perfect attitude.

    Think I'd just had enough and needed a blow out somewhere.

    Best place is where people understand the struggle.

    Thank you x
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    They call you a skinny cow? That's the weirdest insult ever.

    Anyway, I like the "I'm not skinny, I'm fit!" thing too. =)
  • brichnic
    brichnic Posts: 14
    I've seen so much "skinny vs fat" hate in recent days..

    Someone on my Facebook actually said, "If you throw M&Ms at skinny *****es, do they melt?" ... wtf? I mean, seriously. What is with the great divide. We should all, especially as women, be encouraging each other to be healthy.

    I'm no where near skinny yet - I still have about 100 pounds to go to be there. But I'd hate to be told I'm unhealthy after working this hard to get thin!
  • happywithme12
    happywithme12 Posts: 477 Member
    You are beautiful inside and out I am sure, I would not let those people bother you. I have had this happen to me and I just ignore it but I will tell you that saying things like that to people is still considered bullying in my book. I have 2 daughters one is very skinny like her dad used to be and one is quite chunky like my side of the family and my skinny daughter gets very upset when people make comments about her being so thin. She is thin because of genetics and has nothing to do with much else because she eats just as much junk if not more than my heavier daughter. It is wrong regardless of if you are thin or fat for people to make comments, be proud of your accomplishments and when they say those things just smile and remember how hard you worked to get where you are and remember your not alone.
  • w2bab
    w2bab Posts: 353 Member
    I have people who know me call me "too skinny" all the time. My sister even used the word "anorexic". I am 5'8" and weigh 192 lbs as of this morning. I am far from skinny, I am still 30 lbs. overweight, according to the weight chart, and my bmi is 29.65. They are delusional. I just chalk it up to the fact that they are not used to seeing me the way I am, and they will adjust .

    My sister actually told me that if I need to lose more weight, "just don't lose any more in your face". Like I can choose where it comes off! Lol.
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
    I get the same thing about "losing too much"....it gets really old sometimes because it is the same people over and over again that keep saying it. I have been working out with a trainer for around 8 months now and the answer that I always give them is that I am not looking for a number, but a body fat percentage(19%) so they can think what they want and if my trainer is not concerned then why are they. It is really annoying still though so I totally feel you on that one. Hang in there and do what feels and works best for you.
  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
    Feel free to call me skinny! :bigsmile:

    I think people who haven't consumed their life with getting fit (like we all mostly have) believe that the word "skinny" means healthy or fit because that's what society tends to push on people. I wouldn't take offense to it. I'd much rather be called skinny than be called a heifer.

    You look fantastic!
  • jagh09
    jagh09 Posts: 555 Member
    You look wonderful! Ignore those moody cows. People get funny when it comes to weight loss. They're used to you looking a certain way, and feel all threatened when you do something to improve your health and well-being. Don't worry about them, just block those FB posts, and keep doing what you're doing. This is about YOU, not them. You worked hard to get where you are and you deserve to feel proud. Congratulations on your weight loss!
  • Briargrey
    Briargrey Posts: 498 Member
    Curves are beautiful. No curves are beautiful. Somewhere in between the two is beautiful. I think we keep forgetting that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and they're all bodies -- awesome, amazing machines that sometimes people treat like a frat house and sometimes like a temple :)

    You look great, and if you (and your doctor) feel you are fit and healthy, screw 'em. You can always say "I like ALL types of bodies, and I've worked hard to get mine where it's good for ME, so shush now, we can rock it together in our own way."

    "Curves" is now a euphemism for obese, because I guess a medical term is negative now, and that's silly. I'm fat. I'm obese. I get it. Doesn't mean I'm not hot and awesome. I'm losing weight so I can be healthier and live longer because I have 4 kids, and I have zero desire to rag on someone who is fit and healthy because I'm not there yet! People need to buy a frickin' clue and mind their own business.

    Be happy for you! Too fat/too thin, they are relative terms with lots of factors that really need to involve physicians, not random co-workers who like to judge. Keep it up! <3
  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
    Ive had the same results from many ppl telling me im too skinny. There just used to being around overweight ppl all the time and seeing ppl gaining weight and not loosing. Telling me I need to lay off the crack (no Joke) these same ppl are 50-200lbs overweight not once have my response been you need to lay off the buffet. My BF ratio is prolly at around 20 percent would like to get it down to about 10 or 15. I agree with you its ok to ridicule someone when theyve lost weight and tell them there too skinny but if I told those same pple youve gained weight and you look too fat well lets say I might even be out of a job. But ill take the skinny comment anyday over being overweight.
  • cdcooper321
    cdcooper321 Posts: 157 Member
    DITTO!!
    I have struggled with my weight my entire life. This is the first time I've ever lost a nice amount of weight. I am far from "skinny" however, everyone is constantly telling me I need to "stop before the wind blows me away" or "that I'm too skinny". And I'm not. I'm not skinny at all. And it does get a little annoying. I feel like people should encourage you to reach YOUR goals..
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
    First off, you look AMAZING!

    Secondly, I know exactly how you feel. I have been dealing with this ever since I lost my weight(I went from 252 lbs to 121 lbs). I ran into an old neighbour that has not seen me since my weight loss, and instead of saying "Hey, you look great" or even not saying anything at all, they chose to say "Wow! You really need to eat a cookie or something". I couldn't have been more pissed off! Nobody said anything about my weight was I was morbidly obese but now that I've gotten healthy, they are concerned that i'm too skinny? Sheesh!

    And yes, there are those posts that say "Curvier women are better". It's all about personal preference when it comes to that. There is also a difference between curvy and unhealthy. Some people need to stop shoving their opinions or preferences down other peoples throat.

    You look fabulous, don't let anyone take that away from you!
  • TiffieLand
    TiffieLand Posts: 159
    Don't let it get to you/ just think of it is a compliment to hear that you're skinny because all your hardwork paid of. I guess people don't understand that being curvy means you have the fat in the right places as in small waist, big boob, big but.. Not when you are just overweight and in health problems. I don't understand that. I believe that being at a healthy weight is good. Not being curvy like most people make themselves believe so. They are actually at the weight where it is unhealthy and should not be at just like one is not suppose to be underweight.
  • belgerian
    belgerian Posts: 1,059 Member
    By the way you look great and congratulations.
  • junejadesky
    junejadesky Posts: 524 Member
    It's just a way people deal with their own insecurities. My advice is to just let it go. Just think to yourself: I'm a duck, everything just rolls off my back!! Quack!
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
    i cant wait to be called skinny :)
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
    Why is it ok to ridicule the slim but not the fat?

    It's not okay to make fun of someone's weight, whether she is fat or slim. However, I completely disagree with your implied assertion that it is not generally accepted to ridicule fat people. It most certainly is generally perceived that it is okay to ridicule fat people, particularly those who are obese. Jokes, mean comments, snide insults, snickers, stares - fat people get them all.

    Again, it's not okay for people to make fun of your weight, but you certainly aren't alone. Ridicule is not the burden of the slim.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    I look forward to being called skinny, even too skinny. I'm sorry it stresses you, though. People are always going to talk. Always.
  • rickloving
    rickloving Posts: 90 Member
    Both my wife and get that, as well as snide comments about how "active" we are. We are always running, racing, cycling, swimming, hiking, etc, and are very carefull about what we eat.

    It always amazes me the amount of people (whom 95% would be considered overweight, and are the ones complaining about it) give us grief about how "thin" we are or about how much we do, or that we order grilled chicken with a water instead of the double baconator, large fry, and a jumbo softdrink...

    I have had to bite my tounge a few times when I wanted to say..I'm not actually that skinny, I just look that way compared how grossly overweight you are....... instead I smile...
  • We are all amazing. I am so glad I chose to rant here. I could quite easily have posted a photo of a woman my size on facebook and captioned it with "Slender is better" ha ha ha ha ha ha! do you think I would have been warmly received???

    Reading through some of the comments attached to a larger lady photo I noticed that anyone who commented about being slim was immediately shot down.

    I believe that every person in this world is unique and beautiful. Well it would never do if we all wanted exactly the same body shape. That would be boring.

    I love you all and really really appreciate your comments and thoughts. x
  • cfblais
    cfblais Posts: 3 Member
    I can really relate to your post and I feel your frustration, it's aggravating to be told you're too thin by people who don't really understand what a healthy body is. You can be healthy and still carry extra weight. You can be thin and still not be healthy. I like the comment "I'm not skinny, I'm fit" because it's similar to how I explain my efforts. I am not trying to get skinny, I'm trying to get healthy. I'm trying to get stronger. I'm trying to get faster. I'm trying to build endurance so I can do the things I love longer and without pain. I'm trying to make the quality of every day the best it can be and by eating healthy (and I eat a ton) and exercising, I'm enjoying life and feel better than I ever have. I'm also very lucky to be involved in a fitness class called Derby Lite (rollerskating for fun/fitness) where we have women of all ages, sizes and fitness levels. If there's one thing I've learned, you can't judge a woman's fitness by the size of her booty. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and we need to support each other in our efforts to become healthier and stronger - as for beautiful - well, we already are...
  • They call you a skinny cow? That's the weirdest insult ever.

    Anyway, I like the "I'm not skinny, I'm fit!" thing too. =)

    Have to agree, odd comment to make. I'd probably just say back "Jealous?"
  • Why is it ok to ridicule the slim but not the fat?

    It's not okay to make fun of someone's weight, whether she is fat or slim. However, I completely disagree with your implied assertion that it is not generally accepted to ridicule fat people. It most certainly is generally perceived that it is okay to ridicule fat people, particularly those who are obese. Jokes, mean comments, snide insults, snickers, stares - fat people get them all.

    Again, it's not okay for people to make fun of your weight, but you certainly aren't alone. Ridicule is not the burden of the slim.

    I do agree with everything you have said here. It is not ok to ridicule anyone about anything. Remember I was obese. I had the abuse for having "Thunder Thighs" and a "Fat Bum" I think that for me this is just so new. I am so not used to abuse about being "Skinny"
  • megalin9
    megalin9 Posts: 771 Member
    I got my first "you're not going to lose too much more, are you?" comment last week. I wanted to lift up my shirt, show my belly rolls, and scream, "Lady, I'm still 190 pounds!" But I restrained myself. Some people just don't know better, and most people aren't trying to be insensitive and offensive. I know me, and I know what I want, and that's all that matters. Other people's opinions go in one ear and right out the other.
  • karllundy
    karllundy Posts: 1,490 Member
    I get this too! I am still technically overweight! I still have a belly to lose. People tell me I should stop now all the time. I even get it on occasion from my wife! It is really frustrating. I don't judge people who are overweight or obese, because I have totally been there (about 120 lbs. heavier at one time).

    By your pictures, you do not look "skinny", you look fit and healthy and happy! Good job! Enjoy your success for you and your family and don't worry about what others think or say.
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
    I get the same thing. It get's old.

    However, in my case, the problem may be me. I'm thinking that I have been self-loathing for so long that I can't even hear a compliment as a compliment. "You look so great" to my mind means "Thank gawd you lost weight because you looked like h3ll before". "You're getting too skinny" sounds more like "Great, now you've found another extreme method for looking like cr@p". "You aren't planning to lose anymore weight are you?" instantly hits my ears sounding like "You've gone too far already and you look gross".

    So perhaps, in my case, the problem isn't the commenters. The problem may just be the filter between their mouth and my brain that re-writes a compliment into something sinister...