moving on from divorce

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iluvmy2kids2
iluvmy2kids2 Posts: 47
in Motivation and Support
Ok, so last night my soon to be ex dropped the kids off. He bought a gym and a tanning package right after we separated in December and has been losing weight, getting trim and a nice golden brown. Plus he's dating some other woman. :grumble: Yuck, me on the other hand just gave birth to our 2nd child, in March, so I have baby weight, am short and as white as a pastry. Pillsbury should be paying me to be their model! So I'm feeling a little blue today wondering why I can't be fit and tan and a new man on my arm! Ok, I'm done... :cry:

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  • iluvmy2kids2
    iluvmy2kids2 Posts: 47
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    Ok, so last night my soon to be ex dropped the kids off. He bought a gym and a tanning package right after we separated in December and has been losing weight, getting trim and a nice golden brown. Plus he's dating some other woman. :grumble: Yuck, me on the other hand just gave birth to our 2nd child, in March, so I have baby weight, am short and as white as a pastry. Pillsbury should be paying me to be their model! So I'm feeling a little blue today wondering why I can't be fit and tan and a new man on my arm! Ok, I'm done... :cry:
  • Mireille
    Mireille Posts: 5,134 Member
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    Lots of hugs for you!

    Keep your head up strong. You've just giving birth and it takes time to get ourselves back into shape. You've already lost 180lbs (guessing his weight) and before you know you'll be fitting into your pre-pregnancy clothes and strutting your own stuff.

    You've already taken the first step to getting yourself healthy by joining MFP. People here are amazing and very supportive. Some are even going through similar situations that you are going through.

    Keep logging on and we will support you (might even make you laugh on occasion) * cue Shannon*

    All the best!
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • spaul82478
    spaul82478 Posts: 709 Member
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    KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!! GOing through a divorce is one of the hardest things I belive to have to endure in life.. esp in your case with kids... I am recenly divorced and had a hard time as well. My ex made fun of me, his parents were even worse... SO... my advice to you is to do what you want.. YOU want to look sexy... then do it... I know how difficult it is seeing him lookin even better. but YOU CAN DO THE SAME.. follow the program, take the kiddies for walks outslde ( stay outta the floods you have) lol.. (MY parents live in Iowa city.) and try to make you happy.... good luck to you and you will be better in the long run... Don't cry becasue its over, smile because it happened DR SUESS. :flowerforyou: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • divalovesyou1
    divalovesyou1 Posts: 139
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    Mireille is right!! However, don't focus so much on your exes weightloss! Focus more on you and your children.... I promise getting fit and finding a new male friend will all follow soon enough!

    Stay focus on your goal and try to be confident (to men there's nothing more sexier than confidence no matter what weight you are)!

    You're already a hot momma:bigsmile: !! You CAN do it!!:wink:
  • 5KNohno
    5KNohno Posts: 503
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    You're not short and pasty - you're petite with porcelain skin. :smile: And your children weren't the only beautiful ones in your profile.:smile:

    We're all here for you.:flowerforyou:
  • blondeheat
    blondeheat Posts: 254 Member
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    Bring a new life into the world is something he could NEVER do like you did. :bigsmile:
  • mimzy
    mimzy Posts: 135 Member
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    don't let him take your self esteem--really. You are wonderful and beautiful and you have beautiful babies. What he has is superficial and most likely temporary. You are on the path to the most you've ever been! Good for you, girl!!
  • blondeheat
    blondeheat Posts: 254 Member
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    Besides, he will get skin cancer with all that tanning.
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
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    YOU CAN DO IT GIRLIE!!!

    Your new goal??? "SCHEXY BISH BY DECEMBER!!!"
  • Lavendersunday
    Lavendersunday Posts: 458 Member
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    From today make it your mission to "bring sexy back"!!

    Nothing is sexier than a mom with confidence because you will have to respond to this:

    There is NO way you have two kids!!!

    Yes...oh YES this will be YOU if you work your MFP plan!!

    Check to see if there are any exercise or trainers on your tv at home each day for free.

    If not...buy a DVD and do it every day...then ...get the baby in the stroller and WALK!!

    You are gonna be the hottest...:smokin: new mom on MFP...just take the first step!! :wink:

    ~Namaste :flowerforyou:
    ~Mi
  • kittybellenir
    kittybellenir Posts: 128 Member
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    Heres what you will be, a wonderful loving mom who put her kids first and this is why she did not get that tan or that new man. You will eventually become the older mother whos kids love and adore her and would do anything for her. You will be where they are at every holiday when they get older and can choose which parent to spend the holiday with, You are where they will want to be when they need a place to crash over the summer home from college. You will be the one that they ask to walk them on parents night at any sporting event. You will be the one they confide in and YOU yes YOU will be the one that when they graduate from Highschool/college they will look at you and say Thank you for sacrificing yourself and Putting us first.
    Daddy on the other hand will be the one who cared so much about himself and his wants that he got a tan and a new woman. Daddy will be the one that cared so much about himself that he can look like a peice of dried fruit with his 3rd new woman that he's already on the outs with at every holiday alone eating a tv dinner. Daddy will be the one who's told by his kids NO your not welcomed around me or anyone I love, NO you may not come to my graduation, NO you are not welcome at My wedding and please don't ever call me again, I wasn't imporatant enough to you then, so I shouldn't be now.

    I'm speaking from experience when I say that kids remember this stuff, No matter how old they are now, they do remember. Please don't worry or think another second about there dad, but focus on them what they need. You'll be stronger and they will be to they need more love and attention now then ever because they are far to young to understand adults. And I promise you will be better off without and so will they. You deserved to be loved and to love! Be Strong.
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    Darling I am sorry your feeling so down...


    The heck with him I say. I about finish from my divorce and I know how you feel but I have been loosing alot of weight... because he always liked me thick and he is the one putting the weight on. Do some pampering for yourself and the heck with what he is doing. your a really nice person and I know you will be blessed just be patient.
  • alf1163
    alf1163 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    Forget him, except for his child support and visits with his kids :laugh: :laugh: Who cares?? Care about yourself!!! You are the most important person right now!! Some people migh say, "what about the kids?" But you know, if you are not well then you cannot take care of them the way they need to be taken care of...You are a beautiful woman and a great mother!!! You will be just fine!!! Give yourself time to lose the baby weight, enjoy your children and focus on getting healthier and emotionally stable. Don't worry so much about getting in another relationship, that will too come with time. You are too vulnerable right now...focus on your new life, new beginning, and your children. We are here for you!! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • spartysue
    spartysue Posts: 29
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    I too have been through a divorce with two kids and my ex was dating as soon as I filed....I had to file because he was too lazy-not that he didn't want the divorce. Anyway, I lost a lot of weight through the process and thought I was ready to "get out there" and date. For me, it was not the healthiest thing to do. I would encourage you the same as the others have--focus on being healthy and being a great mom to your kids. These years go by so quickly. Having a new man on your arm could be more of a distraction. If you are a Christian, there is an awesome program called "Divorce Care." Let me know if you would like more info. In the meantime, just remember, you are beautiful! You have two wonderful children and many joys to come. The support here is awesome. Please keep reaching out to us. I bet everyone who has posted here would be happy to continue to support you!
    Sue

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