venting

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boogie17
boogie17 Posts: 103 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Today, a good friend asked me how I find time to exercise? So, I proceded to tell her, that i make time throughout the day for myself. Which, includes, my exercise. She asked me well, when do you clean the house. Well, needless to say I told her, i clean and straighten the house throughout the day, and more at night. My house isn't going to be spotless or perfect. And she got all upset at me and told me it needed to be spotless.

I'm sorry, I'm a mother of a 2yr old, who destroys my house throughout the day. When I clean up, he takes' it right back out. If she is that concerned with my house, she can come clean it herself. You will find toys all over, dvd cases, clothes, even an empty water or pop bottle laying on the floor. I vacuumm my house at least 5times a day, and sweep the floors every other day. I'm sorry my house will never be spotless. Clean yes, but not spotless!!!!

If my loving fiance isn't complaining about the house looks, then I know the house if perfectly fine the way I clean it. Sometimes, I just wish I had more counter space in the kitchen, and a bigger closet, or dresser!!!! But if you don't like how my house looks, then don't come over.

Replies

  • Mindful_Trent
    Mindful_Trent Posts: 3,954 Member
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    I think your friend's "advice" was way out of line. It's none of her business how you maintain your house. It's one thing if you ask her for advice, but it sounds like she was looking for reasons to criticize you! I'm not a parent yet, but I can tell you as someone who grew up in a household with 4 kids, I truely appreciate the fact that my mom chose to do things for her kids rather than keep the house spotless. Yes, the house was cluttered at times, but I always felt loved, and that's what is most important! I think your health and your relationship with your family is much more important than having a spotless house!
  • ambercole
    ambercole Posts: 426
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    AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:drinker:
  • tmcowan
    tmcowan Posts: 322 Member
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    I heard a saying once that I loved:

    If your coming over to see me, come over anytime. If your coming to see my house, then make an appointment.
  • vickiele1
    vickiele1 Posts: 394 Member
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    I agree with you. A house should look like people live in it - especially when there are children at home. I too like a "clean" house, but when my grandchildren are here - there are toys everywhere and we have spills, and we bake and make messes, and we paint and get paint on the wood table, and so on and so on. Dirt tracked in by little feet, hand prints on windows, doors and walls - all are so precious. Your son will only be 2 for 1 year of his lifetime. Treasure those moments and pay no mind to the busy body who thinks your house should be your priority. Your child and you are the priorities - your fiancee is next in line and the house is somewhere down the list. Take care of yourself and your little one always first.

    Blessings

    Vickie
  • iplayoutside19
    iplayoutside19 Posts: 2,304 Member
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    If a spotless house is your priortiy that's fine. However, the rest of us like to live a little. And I'm the Neat Nazi at my house!
  • pressica
    pressica Posts: 361
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    To me, it seems like your friend marvels at you for exercising. She probably feels a bit guilty that she doesn't exercise enough herself, and uses housework as her defense. If she has a cleaner house than you, then she will feel better about the fact that you are healthier. I wouldn't take offense at all. We've all given our excuses why we don't work out in the past. Just let her live in her denial dream world, and continue to take care of yourself. You will feel more impacts from neglecting your body than you will from neglecting your house. In 30 years, it won't matter that there were DVD's on the floor. BUT in 30 years, it will matter that you exercised. You go girl!!
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
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    I heard a saying once that I loved:

    If your coming over to see me, come over anytime. If your coming to see my house, then make an appointment.

    I love it!
  • jmmtaylor
    jmmtaylor Posts: 225
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    I'm part of a care team with the military base I live on. We go in after spouses have been notified that their husband/wife has passed (state side or in combat). We were told to NEVER judge, because you don't know what has been going on in that persons life...maybe the day they were notified was laundry day, and they have piles of laundry around the house. You just never know. I have 2 kids myself, and baby sit for 3 more kids. My house is NEVER EVER spotless. It was for maybe a week after we moved in...The only thing you can do with kids is clean here and there through out the day, but really straighten up at night after they are in bed (only to have it look the same 30 minutes after the kids get up). I personally would rather spend time with my kids than have a spotless house.

    I'd have gone off on my "friend" if she said that to me. The would have said then you come clean it. That's just me though.

    Keep doing what your doing :) If it works for you and your family then who cares what anyone else says :)
  • kelika71
    kelika71 Posts: 778 Member
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    Ditto to what's already been said! My parents had 5 kids and the house was never spotless. It's practically impossible!

    Not trying to get all religious on ya, either, but there was a common saying back when I was younger: "God made dirt and dirt don't hurt!" People want to get on the bandwagon of sanitizers and such, then can't figure out why they're sick frequently. You need some "dirt" so your body learns to fight that stuff.
  • knittygirl52
    knittygirl52 Posts: 432 Member
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    Seriously--enjoy your home and your family. Before you know it your little one will be all grown up and then your house will be TOO clean--and that's from someone who always struggled to keep a decently clean house.

    Besides--you are absolutely right about taking time to take care of yourself. If you don't take care of YOU, who will take care of everyone else!
  • boogie17
    boogie17 Posts: 103 Member
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    Thank you everyone!!! Growing up, I had a sister, we had stuff everywhere as well. And when I take my son over to see my parents, or even when my niece and nephew are there..there house isn't spotless from all of the toys!!! I love spending time with my son, playing with him, teaching him new things. I straighten up when he goes to bed, just to have it all destroyed in teh morning. But I love it. I would rather see my house the way it is..(fooseball and everything in the living room) as long as we are a happy family that's all that matter. Thank you everyone for listening!!!
  • camille45
    camille45 Posts: 106 Member
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    she doesnt sound like a good friend to me..i good friend would not have said that to you.
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
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    You go girl!!!!

    I work full time and have no children to chase after and my home is not spotless. I call it "lived in look" type of mess. I vacuum, in fact just finished that chore, dust and keep things picked up. It's not perfect, far from it. I have the same attitude. If you don't like it either clean it yourself or don't look! My dad was the perfectionist growing up. There were 5 kids and mom did not work a "job" but keeping up with all of us.....enough said. He had the nerve to do the white glove thing to my mom and well, she smacked him with it after. I mean he would come home from work and natter on about a piece of lint on the floor!

    I decided then and there I was NEVER going to be like that. No way, no how. Maybe someday I'll get organized, Yeah...Right, and still pry not have the spotless house. I figure if the dishes are done, floor is swept, carpet vacuumed, dusting done and I am not tripping over anything, my work is done!

    You just keep right on doing what you are.:flowerforyou: :bigsmile:
  • animatedbecca
    animatedbecca Posts: 203
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    Jealousy does take on many forms doesnt it?

    "My house is clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be happy"

    "CLEANING AND SCRUBBING CAN WAIT TILL TOMORROW, FOR BABIES GROW UP WE'VE LEARNED TO OUR SORROW. SO QUIET DOWN COBWEBS DUST GO TO SLEEP I'M ROCKING MY BABY AND BABIES DON'T KEEP "

    And my personal favorite...
    " If you feel the need to write your name in my dust, please be kind enough to not date it!"
  • xarrium
    xarrium Posts: 432 Member
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    YOU VACUUM FIVE TIMES A DAY??!! Sounds like more than enough cleaning to me. I have no kids running around my place and there's still DVDs (or equivalent) on the floor! I agree with everyone else... ignore the "advice", and pat yourself on the back for being amazing at taking care of those you love as well as yourself! Good job!
  • boogie17
    boogie17 Posts: 103 Member
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    YOU VACUUM FIVE TIMES A DAY??!! Sounds like more than enough cleaning to me. I have no kids running around my place and there's still DVDs (or equivalent) on the floor! I agree with everyone else... ignore the "advice", and pat yourself on the back for being amazing at taking care of those you love as well as yourself! Good job!


    yes, only because, my 2yr old, likes to leave crumbs all over the floor..plus my vacuum sucks!!!!
  • trgobble
    trgobble Posts: 51 Member
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    Wooooow man. I've never understood those people who think a home should be spotless, especially a FAMILY home! I'm sure keeping after a 2 year old is hard, so she can get over herself lol. :)
  • KeriA
    KeriA Posts: 3,275 Member
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    A friend told me once that she really kept her house clean with her first child but admitted that her daughter spent a lot of time in a play pen. I didn't do that. You are doing better than I did I didn't have perfectly clean house and it took me til now to take time for myself. You sound like you are making good choices for yourself and son and Jessica is right about your friend. she is using cleaning as an excuse to not take time to take care of herself and this is her way of making herself feel better about that. Take care.

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