The Weekends, Friends, and How To Not Look Like A Dork

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Kekibird
Kekibird Posts: 1,122 Member
in Motivation and Support
This is my first week on MFP.

I'm kinda into this whole socialization of weight loss journey so I'm happily bouncing around the forums, sharing ideas, congratulating people, and enjoying the common bond with the people here. The bond of attempting to better our lives through healthy eating or better choices.

Here, we log. We post. We share. It's kinda cool.

Welp, the weekend is upon us and this is where I tend to fail. And one of my reasons is....none of my friends or family members, all of whom I'll be seeing tomorrow for a BBQ, have an issue with weight. So they wouldn't understand the whole process here on MFP.

When I have to say "No thanks" to another beer or a second helping of pie or when I worry about what they will think when I measure out my food, I fear I'll give up and just eat like they all can. And all because I don't want to stand out, look stupid or cause them to ask me questions. I just want to fit in.

I know this probably sounds a little stupid but it's the one thing that has held me back from logging my food before. I don't want to be the only one who has a measuring cup beside my plate as the BBQ food is being passed around.

I don't want to be the girl on a "diet".

I totally know it's not a diet and I know it shouldn't matter but...it does to me.

Replies

  • magoon22msu
    magoon22msu Posts: 1
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    I know exactly how you feel. My brother and his girlfriend are coming to visit me next weekend and they've always known me as a heavy drinker and now I only have a few. It's going to be weird and I'm not looking forward to their questions and wondering faces. But if they love me then they will understand. You aren't doing this change for anyone but yourself and everyone should respect that. Just be proud you have enough will power to say no to the extra helping. You can do it, just enjoy your time with family and try and not worry about the food/drinks surrounding you. I know it's hard but I know you can do it. :)
  • Steelytop
    Steelytop Posts: 145 Member
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    I'd suggest getting really good at eye-balling your meals. I've become quite good and it. I try not to over think this. Now, in my case I've already had some success and my friends are already congratulating me about it as if I'd already lost it all. This just goes to show how much 40 lbs really is I guess.

    I see your point. You want to be incognito about this. At a luncheon my wife gets a little bit of each item and it's just not that much. And this method seems to work for her. I understand the need for privacy. However, I'm still not going to eat the cake. Not now, not ever. They can eat the cake. Or whatever it is that I just won't eat. :) At the end of the day it doesn't matter what they think. It never did and it never will. They won't be there when it really counts.
  • jennievh
    jennievh Posts: 45 Member
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    Set yourself up for success. Fill your plate up with carrots, salad, other veggies, and then go back for BBQ. Then, when you refuse seconds on chicken/pie/whatever, you can honestly say you're full.

    I know the feeling, though--you don't want to stand out, and you REALLY don't want to be pitied. (and, the worst--you don't want someone to then judge your choices--"Should you be eating that?")

    But as magoon22msu said, if they're good friends, they'll understand and be supportive.
  • KLaurean
    KLaurean Posts: 112
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    I know exactly what you're going through.
    My friends and I go out to eat almost every time we see each other. When they ask for suggestions on where to eat I always pick places that I know I can get something healthy (applebee's and chili's are always great). My friends don't notice that I get something healthy so I'm good there.
    But when it comes to eating at their house, I'll be sure to bring my own food with me. I get made fun of a lot because I refuse to eat with them, but once I explained to them that my eating habits are none of their concern and that this is something important to me, they have gone easy on me.
    You can also eat before you meet up with your friends and save room for just a little bit of food so you can still eat with them, you just won't be eating as much.
  • amyfly
    amyfly Posts: 137
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    First of all - be proud of what you are doing for yourself - it's an amazing thing and nothing to be ashamed of! That being said - Do you workout? On days when I know I'm going to be in a social situation and tempted with overeating I workout extra hard/long so I can afford the extra calories. I also tend to eat extra health (lots fruit, veggies, whole grains) the day or two before so I can afford to be a little bad without totally destroying my diet. Good luck and have a great weekend!
  • Kekibird
    Kekibird Posts: 1,122 Member
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    Thanks everyone for the encouragement and the support. I know it's an issue of confidence. That's something I've worked on all my life.

    So far I have tomorrow's food planned out. As for exercise, well, I'm hosting so I'll be moving a lot. I hope that balances things out!

    Cheers,

    Katie (aka Kekibird)
  • mamaDaisyJ
    mamaDaisyJ Posts: 395
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    Since you are hosting, you have total control of the choices. BBQ can be healthy if you choose lean meats and the right seasonings and go easy on the sauces. Sides are easy enough with snack foods ~ carrots, celery, oooo devilled eggs, and apple slices. Kabobs are great for portioning ~ chicken, pinapple, peppers, squash, and maybe some prebaked potato chunks.

    I wanna BBQ now ~

    Enjoy your weekend
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
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    I just learned to accept and cherish the fact that I AM a dork.

    If there is a lot of food variety, you should be able to walk around with a "busy" plate and not overdo it.

    It's true that people will tend to sabotage your efforts, esp if you start to show success.
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
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    Since you are hosting, you have total control of the choices. BBQ can be healthy if you choose lean meats and the right seasonings and go easy on the sauces. Sides are easy enough with snack foods ~ carrots, celery, oooo devilled eggs, and apple slices. Kabobs are great for portioning ~ chicken, pinapple, peppers, squash, and maybe some prebaked potato chunks.

    I wanna BBQ now ~

    Enjoy your weekend

    OK, so here's the thing about kabobs that I don't understand. I used to make them and then one day I thought:

    "Why am I putting everything on a stick, so I can then take it OFF the stick and put it on my plate?"

    followed by:

    "Why not just cook everything together and then just dump it on the plate?"

    So, that's what I do. I have grilling baskets and I marinate all the veggies in one big plastic bag and all the meat, seafood, whatever in another bag and then it all goes on the grill. By the time it gets to my plate, it looks just like it had been "kabobed". (except no holes in the middle)

    Am I just lazy, or am I missing something about the whole kabob experience?
  • mamaDaisyJ
    mamaDaisyJ Posts: 395
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    Since you are hosting, you have total control of the choices. BBQ can be healthy if you choose lean meats and the right seasonings and go easy on the sauces. Sides are easy enough with snack foods ~ carrots, celery, oooo devilled eggs, and apple slices. Kabobs are great for portioning ~ chicken, pinapple, peppers, squash, and maybe some prebaked potato chunks.

    I wanna BBQ now ~

    Enjoy your weekend

    OK, so here's the thing about kabobs that I don't understand. I used to make them and then one day I thought:

    "Why am I putting everything on a stick, so I can then take it OFF the stick and put it on my plate?"

    followed by:

    "Why not just cook everything together and then just dump it on the plate?"

    So, that's what I do. I have grilling baskets and I marinate all the veggies in one big plastic bag and all the meat, seafood, whatever in another bag and then it all goes on the grill. By the time it gets to my plate, it looks just like it had been "kabobed". (except no holes in the middle)

    Am I just lazy, or am I missing something about the whole kabob experience?

    I dunnno.... lol I eat mine right off the stick. And there's less trash to clean up when everyone goes home. Kids have fun with them too. Oh, and it makes BBQing pieces like pinapple chunks possible~
    And now you made me remember shrimp too! I never marinated my fruits and veggies either though, sounds like more work :P
  • Kekibird
    Kekibird Posts: 1,122 Member
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    Our BBQ was a big success.

    I was diligent all through the day to make sure I left room in my daily calories for the BBQ food I know would be tempting.

    I did fine till after dinner when I served coffee and dessert. I also had some wine. It ended up being a big eating day BUT I have to say, in the past, I would have eaten MORE than I did.

    It was interesting to me to see that yesterday, while logging, was considered a not great caloric day but in the past, I would have gone over even more so. I stayed away from the chips and guacamole. I only have a serving of each dinner item and didn't splurge on extra. Dessert.....well....yeah. I kinda let go then.

    But even then, I stopped myself from eating from the trays as I packed away food. I even sent food home with guests so I didn't have as many tempting left overs.

    I've started today right and I'm already planned through lunch.

    Talked to my bestie about my feelings and he was more then encouraging. He was honestly supportive and very sweet. :happy:

    He did ask my I was doing MFP instead of going to OA (Overeaters Anonymous) like a family member of mine. I told him it was my fear of looking dorky or stupid. This is better for me, I think.

    Cheers!!

    Katie (aka Kekibird)
  • mamaDaisyJ
    mamaDaisyJ Posts: 395
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    I took a peak, and you did great! Even though you went over in calories, you stayed under on sodium, which can be hard at times with less calories. I like to think that when I am careful about serving sizes I savor the taste more, ya know.
    You made it through a BBQ, even with desert, so you can make it through any social situation.
  • Kekibird
    Kekibird Posts: 1,122 Member
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    You made it through a BBQ, even with desert, so you can make it through any social situation.

    I love the idea of this. That if I can make it through my own BBQ and not feel discouraged at all I'm NOT eating, then I can stick with it. Especially with the holidays around the corner.

    Thanks for all the support friends!!

    Cheers!
    Katie (aka Kekibird)

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