Roller Coasters...then and now

I blogged about this a little earlier but thought I should share it here as well! My weight loss adventure has been a long one but I'm finally seeing successes both on the scale and off.

Here's the link to my blog...
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/gkeith1971/view/that-was-me-563310

Approximately 20 years ago, I was at Kings Dominion in Virginia and got in line for the Rebel Yell (my first and one of my favorite roller coasters). After standing in the long line, I got in and attempted to fasten the seatbelt and lap bar. I'd ridden this ride many times, so I didn't understand what was wrong with it. It wasn't working. It wouldn't fasten. The lap bar wouldn't secure. It wasn't the ride...it was me. I had gained so much weight that I couldn't get the bar down. Devastated and humiliated doesn't begin to describe how I felt. I had to get off of the ride and walk the very long walk of shame. The exit line for that ride is long and winds right alongside the very long (very crowded) entrance. I was in tears and really hoped that at that particular moment, that an asteroid would crash into the planet and end everything. In fact...I was willing to let it land on me directly. I walked as fast as I could and got to a place where I could sit down and cry my eyes out. My friend had followed me out and I told him that he had to take me home. I wasn't attempting any other rides. I was done. We drove the long ride home with me crying...and then I went to my room and cried some more.
It didn't fix things for me. It didn't help my mindset. It didn't make me wake-up and realize that it was time to do something about my weight. Instead, the pounds kept packing on!
Fast forward to yesterday (August 7, 2013). I was getting on Wind Seeker with my husband (Cedar Point in Ohio). Everyone was in and the crew was walking around making sure everyone was fastened in tight. (The ride goes super high...you DON'T want anyone falling out of that one!!!) One by one they checked the seats making sure all was secure. But was it? About 5 rows up from us they were struggling with the safety apparatus. I could feel hubby look over at me because he knew I saw it...and I knew he saw the look on my face. They tried and tried to push down on the harness enough that they could latch the belt...but it just wasn't going to happen. I watched as the woman got off of the ride and exited the loading area. I could feel my heart sink and tears well up in my eyes. My husband squeezed my hand and kept telling me that it wasn't me any more and that I'm in a different place and it wouldn't be me again. We rode the ride which was incredible. (It's just a very high swing set that has the most incredible view on the planet!) We got off and as we were exiting, the lady was standing at the exit being met by her friends. "That's it...I'm done. No more rides for me!" I remembered those words. I spoke those words. My heart literally broke in two for her. There was nothing I could do. I wanted to run up and give her a hug but yeah that would be weird. I wanted to though. I wanted to tell her to not give up hope. I wanted to tell her that things could be different. I wanted to tell her everything that I would tell ME if I was ME passing ME 20+ years ago. But I didn't. I think if I could go back to yesterday...I would go up to that complete stranger (ME) and tell her to please not let it define her. DO NOT let it run her life. Do not let it be a spiral downward.
Will it define her? I don't know. I hope not. I know I let it define me. I know I let it haunt me. Her words yesterday took me back to the Rebel Yell. It took a long time (18 or so years) for me to get to a point where I was ready to lose weight. One of my goals was to ride roller coasters...and...I can now. I can ride any of them without a worry. I love the thrill of them. I love the thrill of fastening the harnesses. It's the little things. I won't let that be me again. All of these years I've remembered that day. I've thought about that day. Yesterday...I watched someone else live it and I re-lived it for the first time. In all of these years I had never seen anyone else go through it. That isn't me now. That won't be me ever again. And as far as the stranger in Cedar Point, all I can do is hope and pray that she finds the strength to find her health and make it a priority. That she puts her first and makes is so one day she will go back and ride the Wind Seeker just to say she did...just as I did with the Rebel Yell earlier this year! One day she'll go back and show that ride that it didn't define her and it didn't beat her down.
If you're struggling...find your strength. Find a goal. Find something you want to do and reach for it. Don't let things like this define you!
Thanks to my friends and family that have seen me through this transformation to the new me. And thank you so much to my husband who held me and hugged me and got me through yesterday! I am so thankful for the support that I have! I'm thankful for this new life that I have! I'm thankful for my new beginnings!