Newbie- trying unsuccessful

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been here for 7 weeks and have had success. I can try to help if you like. Feel free to add me

A bit long-winded... sorry.

The good news is you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be better.

1) track for a week or two before worrying about losing.
(although seeing what I was eating I couldn't help but rein back a bit)
be scrupulously honest... you can lie to your friends, you can lie in your diary, you can lie to yourself, but YOUR BODY KNOWS EVERYTHING YOU EAT. So you might as well be honest in your diary (keep it private if you like) but you need that info because you can't get where you are going if your are not honest about where you are right now.

2) seeing where I could make small changes on things that weren't that important to me.
(Don't even think of taking chocolate out of my diet!!!)
--Reducing quantities where I won't notice it so much
--Swapping out things instead of eliminating them.

3) Look at my diary and started adding foods that had positive healthy effects specifically for the health issue in my family.
I found most of the things I "should" add were really yummy too! salmon, avocado, oatmeal, mango, red grapes....
(Sort of think of food as medicine to deal with family history of various health issue oatmeal is good for heart health, mango and red grapes lower cholesterol, tumeric and cinnamon good for arthritis)

4) every couple of weeks I see where I can make another couple of small changes.
If you completely revamp your diet, it's way easy to revert to old ways in times of stress. (and who doesn't have stress?)
If you make a series of small changes, food still offers you some sense of comfort.
sort of a comfort continuum, and after a while the first small changes will seem comforting in themselves.
You don't have to be perfect you just have to do better.

5) also rather than being uberstrict with the target MFP set for me. (I swear this saved my life.) I was happier once I gave myself a range:

ROCK BOTTOM: 1200 cal
TARGET: MFP Calories for lose 1 lb a week (when that hit 1200 I changed to lose 1/2 lb per week)
TOP OF RANGE: Maintain Calories for my GOAL Weight.

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(SAFETY VALVE: Maintain Calories for CURRENT Weight - remember to keep updating this number as you lose)

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I naturally tended to do 2-4 days between 1200-1300 cal then a day at about 1500-1600 cal then back to the 1200-1300 cal. (No hard science here, but I credit the zig-zagging calories with preventing plateaus.)

--As long as I stayed under the top of my range I should continue to lose, even if it is at a slower rate.
--As long as I don't go past my safety valve I shouldn't gain.

6) I only worry about it 1 lb at a time.
Forget I *NEED* to lose 20, 30, 50, 100 lbs. I'm only worried about 1 lb the next one. I'll worry about the others later.
Once I found ways to lessen the stress, I found it way easier to focus on the process and let the results follow. (It's what worked for me some people need the stress to get them motivated. Me I get scared and overwhelmed and don't see the big goal as achievable. )

7)
The closer I got to my goal the smaller I made my deficit. Yes, this took longer to get to my goal, but I was focusing on (am STILL tweaking) strategies for maintenance. What I found difficult (and haven't yet conquered) it establishing a guideline for a range for maintenance, being that I'm not really good at hitting the same number everyday.


Food is not the enemy.

Oddly enough on my journey here I've reduced guilt over food.
I have the occasional treat and I fully enjoy it with no guilt involved.
The thing is since I'm not eating crap all the time, now the occasional treat is just that a TREAT it's special and I enjoy it so much more than when I was unconsciously shovel junk food into my face.

I figure if I've got a good plan that I can actually maintain I can keep this off for a long time to come, without feeling deprived.

I am so sorry for your loss, I know that huge life changing events like that will change everything in life and we all need an outlet, but YEAH for you now that you are ready and want to make the change that is the First Step.

I love this site, i havent been here long but i Love it, the support and knowing i am not the only one struggling.

One day at a time and when you mess up we all do, dont attack yourself but also make yourself aware it is not good but tomorrow is a fresh start and every new day can not be a fresh start, once you start to see the scale move you will see it works and you WILL look at food differently and how it changes your life,

i know i do, i have my cheat moments or days and we all do, BUT i know how hard i have worked and how quick it can all come back if i stop or just take a few days off,

please feel free to add me as a friend, i am happy to help anyway i can,

good luck, you CAN DO THIS!

Kimberly

I have been on this site for about a month and have found that having friends for support and motivation has helped a lot. Sent friend request to you.