Ever have mixed feelings about losing weight?

Bubblywendy
Bubblywendy Posts: 32 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi all,
Ok first things first, I wanted to lose 8 kilos for as long as I can remember but weight just creeped higher and higher.
Now I don't know whether its just self sabotage, excuses or some psychological thing, but this is always the routine for me, I eat healthy during the first half of the day and have a strong weight loss mindset but as soon as the evening (4-6ish) hits I feel compelled to eat (90%junk food) then binge on 800-1300 calories of snacks. It's terrible because usu. Before I eat I have a mental debate on whether or to eat usu with "I'm not hungry and I want to lose weight" VS "eat you will enjoy yourself and who cares about weight loss or you can start eating healthy tmr.." This mental debate happens alot when I'm out with friends or family aswell "eat fast food and dessert you don't need to lose weight..." A similar thing happens after dinner aswell but this time i just dont bother debating i just jump into devouring heaps of sugary snacks without caring about its impact.

IT'S SO FRUSTRATING! Because deep down I want to lose this 8kg so badly but I never seem to be able to lose it! :(

Does anyone have similar experiences or have any advice or words of encouragement to help me ?

Replies

  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
    Don't eat strictly healthy maybe? Just start logging what you do eat and try to stay within your calorie goal. Don't make it more complicated starting out.
  • tommyswoman
    tommyswoman Posts: 24
    Yes! I have mixed feelings too and I'm still trying to work out what they are. I think we have to decide what we want more: to get rid of the weight or to eat, drink and be merry (to excess, obviously, lol). I self sabotage all the time. Once I get to a certain weight, I just start eating too much again and the weight comes back. I don't know what it is....can't understand it...when I feel a hip bone instead of liking it, I feel creeped out. It's all in my head. I have no answers ...I'm just putting one foot in front of the other and losing weight. I'm trying not to over think thing and just get on with it. I'm trying to ignore the weird thoughts in my head. Good luck :smile:
  • capriqueen
    capriqueen Posts: 976 Member
    I agree with blackwings. Make your diet less restrictive, add the sugary snacks (in moderation) in your diet. Or better yet, try dark chocolate in place of sugar, it really helps with the cravings. Dried blueberries/cranberries should help too. Don't forbid any foods or it will make things psychologically difficult.

    I've started and stopped a couple of times so far... this is my umpteenth time and I feel comfortable knowing that I'm not giving up my favourite foods. Exercise helps with the cravings too, so when you're in binge mode try taking a walk or some yoga, it'll give you some positive thoughts and help you get back on track.
  • Nyumi
    Nyumi Posts: 6 Member
    Yes, I get this too, although I've always dubbed it self sabotage than mixed feelings as such...mixed feelings to me implies that I kinda wanna lose weight but I kinda don't...and even though I get crazy *kitten* cravings and urges which I struggle not to give in to, I definitely DO want to lose!

    There's no easy answer to this one but I usually nine times out of ten do this when I feel deprived or hungry. I mean stupidly hungry. I often don't get home till after ten pm and my hubby and I always eat our dinner together, but there's a long wait between lunch time and ten!

    My personal solution is hat I began intermittent fasting...but not horrificly strictly...I give myself a 9 hour eating window, breaking my fast at 2pm and stopping eating by 11pm. That still leaves me with a whole morning of not eating, but because I find I have so much more will power in the morning than after a day dealing with work I can stick to that. I still want to eat delicious crap because that's a habit I've formed over many years, but I find it so much easier now because when I'm in my eating window its never been too long since my last full meal.

    It may not be for you and I know I still have issues with feeling light headed by 130 but so far its the only thing that helps me with the lifestyle and work hours I live to keep me away from the chocolate. Some people eat at certain times to optimize body workouts but I eat at certain times to optimize my willpower workout!
  • curly1986
    curly1986 Posts: 98 Member
    I have mixed feelings (or maybe doubt?)... I want to become healthier, fitter and live longer and to just look better. But on the other hand, and this may be vain, I worry when I get to goal I'll still look awful with loose skin etc, and I doubt if I'll be able to keep the weight off for life as I have always been overweight or obese. I know loose skin is better and healthier than excess fat so I just need to keep reminding myself of that and try and have faith I can stick to a healthier way of life.
  • anna_conkers
    anna_conkers Posts: 24 Member
    I like to pre-log dessert, usually a couple of pieces of chocolate, a chocolate mousse/yoghurt around 100-200 calories, so I have it to look forward to all day and I'm not tempted to "give in" before hand!

    EDIT: I should probably add, I go through this all the time. I also went through it when I was quitting smoking - when I craved a cigarette, I'd think, "well they're not THAT bad for you." - cravings LIE! It'll get easier :smile:
  • rich347
    rich347 Posts: 508 Member
    I have mixed feelings when I want some fast food constantly but then I think of the long term results of eating heatlhy and exercising
  • EowyntheFair88
    EowyntheFair88 Posts: 8
    First of all, do not let anyone else dictate your dieting. My immediate family is all overweight, and used to sometimes make fun of me for abstaining from desserts, or would try to push some food on me. My mom recently called me "a stick with eyeballs" (a quote from the cartoon Bug's Life), but in actuality I am a healthy weight (130) for my height and age. My friends also used to do similar things; they would keep offering me food ("you know you want one!" etc.) when I declined it. Everyone has different health goals, and just because someone else is ok being overweight doesn't mean you have to be. And I also think jealousy is a part of it; they want to sabotage you.

    I also get into the "you can start tomorrow", or "I've already eaten something bad today, so more won't hurt" syndrome. Don't do it! Every "tomorrow" excuse you use turns into a few more pounds, and less of a resolution. Even small things, like denying yourself some candy once a week can help. My husband always says "discipline in the lesser aids in discipline in the greater."

    Keep healthy snack foods at home instead of bad ones, so even if you are tempted to binge you can't! Veggies to dip in light dressing, light string cheese, light yogurt, almonds, olives, hard-boiled eggs, fat-free yogurt, coffee with a light cream and no sugar, etc. Notice that all these are vegetables or protein. Carbs make you crave more carbs, so try to eat your bread later in the day. The only carb snack I usually eat it some kettle corn, and only occasionally. Get all the bad foods out of your house.

    Another help is to get a friends to join you on MyFitness Pal, or on exercise. I also like the South Beach Diet book. It helps you eat enough so you don't feel hungry, but tells you what to eat that will be filling without putting on the pounds. Even if you don't do the diet itself, read the book.

    Hope that helps!
  • ddoeren84
    ddoeren84 Posts: 30
    A lot of it can be solved with planning or a simple system of checks and balances. For instance every once in a while I will want some fast food. So if I want to eat some fast food for dinner I will decide what I want that morning and pre-log it for dinner so I know how many calories I can have the rest of the day to stay within my calorie limit. If you end up going over your calories by a couple hundred or so just hop on the treadmill for half an hour or so.
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,628 Member
    stayfocused.jpg

    There's no nice way to say this ...... stop making excuses, you are better than that ...... make healthy choices all day rather than caving in to crap food ...... JUST DO IT !

    :flowerforyou:
  • themanda04
    themanda04 Posts: 60 Member
    yes, pre-log your days so you can allow for some indulgent stuff at night. don't restrict everything 'yummy' from your daily intake and you won't feel like you're living on bread and water.
    as far as having mixed feelings, losing weight freaks me out. i have always had terrible luck with men and had an absolutely AWFUL marriage. i think i got fat and stayed that way more than a little bit for protection from men. my own invisibility cloak. so now that i'm getting smaller, i'm starting to get some attention from men and it's scary! i think that has been partially contributing to the stall i've been in for the last month or so. i had a very stern talking to myself and i just have to adapt with the changes as they come. change is always scary, even when you're instigating it yourself.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    My mixed feelings are more along the lines of fat girl identity. I have been overweight since I was in 2nd grade, and I am 36 now...so that's just "who I am" and I've always liked myself even being quite heavy.

    There are very few times in my life that I've really been that distressed over my weight, so for me it's even more upsetting when people tell me now how great I look, or how "thin" (which I'm definitely not at this point!) etc. I feel like I'm getting praise for something that goes against WHO I AM. I know that I've gotta get over that hurdle, and I believe that I am...but it's not easy.

    I really enjoy feeling healthier and fitting more easily into life...not worrying if my fat roll will wedge against the tiny booth in a diner or needing extra elbow room at a theater because of my size. But I can't truly relate to the women I know who have lost weight and feel like a new person, have more energy, etc. I always had a lot of energy and I feel pretty much the same. (My MFP ticker says 33 lb but at my heaviest I was almost 80 lb heavier).

    Another thing I'm not crazy about is shopping for my "new" body. When I was larger I seemingly had the exact proportions that most plus-sized clothing was made for, everything fit perfectly off the rack. Now I have tons of issues with pants and jeans fitting me super weirdly. I've been in the 18/20 range for months now and even though some 18's still don't cover my bum, I manage to seek out certain 16 cuts that work. So I have to try on about 4 sizes of each pair of pants. For 15 yrs I could just walk into a store and grab the 22 and go home. So this is new and not fun, even though of course I want to be healthy!
  • mirsasha
    mirsasha Posts: 27
    I've had a binge eating problem most of my life. For some reason, 2 years ago, it "clicked off", I got serious, I added exercise to my life and ate well. I lost 120 pounds. Then...it was back. Suddenly, I couldn't not stop on the way home from work for a few cookies to munch on...then a dozen cookies...then a dozen cookies and a bag of chips, etc. I've gained 40 pounds back.

    I think the problem is, I found out: I'm the same insecure person with the same body and emotional issues at a size 10 as I was at a 26 and the idea of trying to deal with those 24/7 for the rest of my live in order to stay healthy overwhelmed me. I tend to be a very black/white/all/nothing person. So now that I'm not eating 100% healthy, I'm kind of 100% bad. I'm trying very hard to work through these issues and find balance, but it's a difficult thing.

    Like you, I start every day with the best intentions and those fade slowly all day until they completely disappear in the afternoon drive home from work and I stop and buy crap. I'm trying to break that habit but it's a very strong one.
  • rosebank16
    rosebank16 Posts: 3 Member
    I wonder if you are not eating enough during the day and as soon as you start eating in the evening you feel ravenous and want to eat far too much unhealthy food? I used to have a similar problem. Because I have often been a bit overweight I used to take the chance to skip meals when I wasn't hungry so might have black coffee only for breakfast then a very light lunch such as soup and a substantial late dinner with wine. After a busy day dinner could be pizza but was usually protein, veg and some carbs. This pattern seemed to set up a cycle so the next day I again wasn't much interested in food until the evening. I couldn't understand why eating then made me suddenly hungry and why I was often so tired!! It seems so silly now - I now have three proper meals with plenty of protein at each and often something like nuts or cheese late afternoon. I want a lot less at dinner but make sure it is planned in advance, enjoy it just as much as before and am ready for breakfast next day.

    Hope this might be helpful. Best of luck in working out the problem.
  • l0ugar0us
    l0ugar0us Posts: 4 Member
    Not to sound like I have this kind of thing licked since I'm having to basically re-start MFP after quitting at the end of last year, but I found my best prevention for those "let's just enjoy life while we have it and stop worrying about superficial things like weight loss" binges (which sounds good until the next morning when I really wish I were closer to my weight loss goal and improving more quickly on my jogging) is stocking up my fridge and pantry w/ the good alternatives that still satisfy my personal cravings and having fitness goals that aren't directly related to the number on the scale. Personally, I tend to crave salty snacks the most. So I try to keep bags of spinach or romaine around with 0-30 calories dressings. An entire bag of spinach is only about 50 calories, and the low-calorie dressings (blue cheese is my favorite out of the low-cal options at my store) take care of the salty craving. Kimchi and anything pickled is also a good low-cal salty option. (I'm making no claims about any nutritional benefit; I do it because it's about the only thing that keeps me from driving to the store and picking up a bag of tortilla chips and queso dip. I have switched out my salt for the sodium-free substitute to help offset all the sodium in this stuff.) These are also more filling than the ever-touted popcorn. For sweet snacks, frozen berries work really well for me since you have to eat them much more slowly than brownies or ice cream. They're not as low-calorie, so when I reach my calorie limit, I tend to lean on mints, gum, and decaf coffee with Splenda. To help stop eating when you reach your calorie limit, it sounds weird, but I brush my teeth. I read it in a fluff magazine article years ago, but taking the taste of the food away really does help to cut the craving off. Plus, keeping yourself occupied and away from the food for just a few minutes also gives your stomach a little time to send the "I'm full and happy" signals that need to get to your brain. I know ideally we'd all be eating complex carbs and lean protein all day, but those don't really do anything to help me overcome any cravings. Oh, also other fitness goals. My progress in jogging (or currently, lack thereof) is usually the only thing mentally that stops me from overloading my grocery cart in the bakery section every shopping trip. Numbers on a scale aren't concrete enough for me to care about when it comes to daily choices. But when I'm in the middle of a tough workout program that I really want to complete, or just trying to break through plateaus with whatever fitness activity I'm doing (jogging, yoga, even the resistance I use on the elliptical if it's the middle of winter), those goals usually do a lot more to dispel the negative thinking.

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