Gaining 20 Pounds is Gaining a lot of Weight
marilynx
Posts: 128 Member
Get ready for a rant:
So I used to work at a store that specializes in athletic wear and exercise equipment. While I was training my training buddy saw a coworker that he used to work with. She is (in my opinion) a very thin, athletically built woman, maybe at 125-130 pounds. My training buddy said hi to her, and when she left this conversation ensued:
Buddy: You know, that girl used to be really fit. She's gained at least 20 pounds since I last saw her. She used to be really pretty too.....
Me: *watch it glare*
Buddy- I mean, she is still really pretty. It's just that she used to be really fit you know?
Me- *says nothing, just stares like he's a complete dumba**)
Buddy- so..... You wanna see my fiancé?
I was so disgusted by his comments, and to this day it bothers me. That young woman looked like she was in awesome shape. And now, the icing on the cake:
I'm straightening up the clothes that are messy by the cash registers. Here comes the "unfit" 125-135 woman.
Me- I really wanna buy this jersey, but it won't look right on me. My body type isn't right for it
Woman- it's cute isn't it? I think it's cute too, but I've gained some weight since I got outta high shool....
Me- you look like you were in sports in high school
Woman- yeah, I danced. I still do actually
Me- girl, you are not too big for this shirt! Your body is the perfect cut for this shirt!
Woman- no, trust me, I really need to lose some weight.
Me- no you don't! You look great! Let me tell you something. At my highest weight I was 270. I'm now 215 (at the time). I need to lose weight. Do I see you needing to lose 65 pounds? You're fine.
Woman - oh wow. Ok yeah, I see your point.
Me- there you go. You are really pretty. Don't delude yourself just because of a few extra pounds.
Woman- thanks so much. Thank you.
She smiled for the rest of her shift.
Society when it comes to women and weight is brutal. That coworker that felt the need to comment on the female coworker's weight gain was stupid, but I'm finding that more and more people are beginning to think this way. If you're not a 115 pound model the. You are gonna get talked about. The point of this thread is to hopefully encourage people to be more supportive of individuals who think they need to lose weight. The next time you hear someone bad mouthing their body, don't let them wallow in it. Tell them that they look beautiful. Tell them they are fine the way they are. I'm all for being healthy, but societal pressures on individuals these days is too much, especially women.
And you ready for the candles on the cake?
His fiancé looked like she was a good 20 pounds heavier than our coworker.
So I used to work at a store that specializes in athletic wear and exercise equipment. While I was training my training buddy saw a coworker that he used to work with. She is (in my opinion) a very thin, athletically built woman, maybe at 125-130 pounds. My training buddy said hi to her, and when she left this conversation ensued:
Buddy: You know, that girl used to be really fit. She's gained at least 20 pounds since I last saw her. She used to be really pretty too.....
Me: *watch it glare*
Buddy- I mean, she is still really pretty. It's just that she used to be really fit you know?
Me- *says nothing, just stares like he's a complete dumba**)
Buddy- so..... You wanna see my fiancé?
I was so disgusted by his comments, and to this day it bothers me. That young woman looked like she was in awesome shape. And now, the icing on the cake:
I'm straightening up the clothes that are messy by the cash registers. Here comes the "unfit" 125-135 woman.
Me- I really wanna buy this jersey, but it won't look right on me. My body type isn't right for it
Woman- it's cute isn't it? I think it's cute too, but I've gained some weight since I got outta high shool....
Me- you look like you were in sports in high school
Woman- yeah, I danced. I still do actually
Me- girl, you are not too big for this shirt! Your body is the perfect cut for this shirt!
Woman- no, trust me, I really need to lose some weight.
Me- no you don't! You look great! Let me tell you something. At my highest weight I was 270. I'm now 215 (at the time). I need to lose weight. Do I see you needing to lose 65 pounds? You're fine.
Woman - oh wow. Ok yeah, I see your point.
Me- there you go. You are really pretty. Don't delude yourself just because of a few extra pounds.
Woman- thanks so much. Thank you.
She smiled for the rest of her shift.
Society when it comes to women and weight is brutal. That coworker that felt the need to comment on the female coworker's weight gain was stupid, but I'm finding that more and more people are beginning to think this way. If you're not a 115 pound model the. You are gonna get talked about. The point of this thread is to hopefully encourage people to be more supportive of individuals who think they need to lose weight. The next time you hear someone bad mouthing their body, don't let them wallow in it. Tell them that they look beautiful. Tell them they are fine the way they are. I'm all for being healthy, but societal pressures on individuals these days is too much, especially women.
And you ready for the candles on the cake?
His fiancé looked like she was a good 20 pounds heavier than our coworker.
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Replies
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I bet you totally made her day. I do hear a lot of weight related comments flying around, and often wonder what's said behind my back.0
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Sour grapes! Sounds like he was sulking over the fact that she still looked amazing and trying to grasp at criticisms.
I think weight is one of the quickest things people like to criticize about without knowing the full story. Sorry, but it's totally rude of someone who a) isn't intimate family/spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend or b) your healthcare professional to ever "weigh in" about someone's weight... and I'm not even sure about the a) group.
Someone on my friends list here said they saw a response on Twitter where someone decided to pull out the old "A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" when someone else had the gall to Tweet about enjoying ice cream.
When did it become cool to bag on someone for their weight? I see a lot of people in the forums who have lost a lot who seem to think that entitles them to judge those around them, too.
Unless you know someone's life and health and mental state 100% inside and out, just keep your mouth shut and be supportive! Self-defeatist attitudes and self-loathing are all spurred by comments like that and only make things worse.0 -
This may not have been the point of your story, but I really hate it when people who are heavier than I am tell me: "YOU don't need to lose weight; I need to lose weight. I weigh (insert high number)!!"
I'm relatively close to my goal, and no longer look overweight when I'm wearing clothes. (In my undies, jelly belly is still detectable). But this does not mean that I don't need to lose weight.
I might need to lose LESS weight than someone who is heavier, but someone telling me how much they weigh in an attempt to convince me that I don't need to lose weight is not helpful at all.0 -
This may not have been the point of your story, but I really hate it when people who are heavier than I am tell me: "YOU don't need to lose weight; I need to lose weight. I weigh (insert high number)!!"
I'm relatively close to my goal, and no longer look overweight when I'm wearing clothes. (In my undies, jelly belly is still detectable). But this does not mean that I don't need to lose weight.
I might need to lose LESS weight than someone who is heavier, but someone telling me how much they weigh in an attempt to convince me that I don't need to lose weight is not helpful at all.
100% agree
Everyone has different goals. It's actually really difficult, and extremely frustrating to lose those last 10lbs0 -
This may not have been the point of your story, but I really hate it when people who are heavier than I am tell me: "YOU don't need to lose weight; I need to lose weight. I weigh (insert high number)!!"
I'm relatively close to my goal, and no longer look overweight when I'm wearing clothes. (In my undies, jelly belly is still detectable). But this does not mean that I don't need to lose weight.
I might need to lose LESS weight than someone who is heavier, but someone telling me how much they weigh in an attempt to convince me that I don't need to lose weight is not helpful at all.
YES.
I had 20 lbs. to lose. I needed to lose it, my %BF was approaching unhealthy and would have been shortly if I'd done nothing about it. The last thing I needed (and still need, cause I've been hearing it regularly since I started losing) is someone telling me I don't need to lose anything. I need encouragement to improve, not to stay the same. Please save that one until I'm approaching being underweight or I'm obsessing over my food.0 -
It is sad that it has come to this. I put on weight and my husband loves me and never tells me what weight I should be or how I need to lose weight. But to this day I dread it when he tells me that we are going somewhere and running into people I havent seen in a while because I do the negative thinking for them. I am certain that they will see me and think of how fat I got. We had a 10 yr anniversary party and i almost didnt want to have it because of my weight and I finally shared my thoughts with my husband and he told me I am beautiful and if anyone has something to say he would kick the "dog sh** out of them"
So glad you made that girls day, she is well aware that she is not the same weight as she was in high school and doesnt need to hear it from anyone else. most woman beat themselves up and dont need outside help.0 -
This may not have been the point of your story, but I really hate it when people who are heavier than I am tell me: "YOU don't need to lose weight; I need to lose weight. I weigh (insert high number)!!"
I'm relatively close to my goal, and no longer look overweight when I'm wearing clothes. (In my undies, jelly belly is still detectable). But this does not mean that I don't need to lose weight.
I might need to lose LESS weight than someone who is heavier, but someone telling me how much they weigh in an attempt to convince me that I don't need to lose weight is not helpful at all.
Nope, not the point of my story but I can see your point. This young woman was healthy according to her height. I mean seriously though, how would you feel if you told me you needed to lose weight and I said, aw yeah girl. Get on that. Or if I was more polite if I said, "yeah, you do need to lose a little weight."
Or let me throw you a curve: how do you think someone bigger than you feels by you saying I need to lose weight and they probably got a good 50lbs on you? If I was sensitive about my weight I coulda taken her comment offensively.
Either way, the point of my story was to UPLIFT people. The world makes too much money on our insecurities and sadness. Even the biggest people in the world have something beautiful about them. If people are snickering behind someone's back, be that one person to uplift them. That's my point.0 -
This may not have been the point of your story, but I really hate it when people who are heavier than I am tell me: "YOU don't need to lose weight; I need to lose weight. I weigh (insert high number)!!"
I'm relatively close to my goal, and no longer look overweight when I'm wearing clothes. (In my undies, jelly belly is still detectable). But this does not mean that I don't need to lose weight.
I might need to lose LESS weight than someone who is heavier, but someone telling me how much they weigh in an attempt to convince me that I don't need to lose weight is not helpful at all.
100% agree
Everyone has different goals. It's actually really difficult, and extremely frustrating to lose those last 10lbs
So what would you want someone to say when the topic of your weight comes up? I'm thinking of someone like my sister-in-law, who looks perfectly fine to me. I'd love to have her body, but sometimes she complains to me about having trouble losing the 5-10 pounds that she thinks that she needs to lose. I feel like I would be disingenuous if I agreed that she needs to lose weight, and I can see that backfiring too if she is actually kind of fishing for a compliment. I don't figure that she needs to know *my* weight, but she'd have to be blind to not realize that I need to lose way more than she does.0 -
His fiancé looked like she was a good 20 pounds heavier than our coworker.
Quite ironic. However, sort of against the point of your story, no?0 -
His fiancé looked like she was a good 20 pounds heavier than our coworker.
Quite ironic. However, sort of against the point of your story, no?
I'm.... Not quite sure I follow.0 -
A) OP: great story. I love your positive attitude and that you went out of your way to make someone feel good.
I was one of those people who would get pissy at my friend for saying she still needed to lose 15 lbs when I needed to lose 50+. But I realized that it isn't a competition. And it made me a better friend. Now, when she talks about needing to lose those last few pounds, I tell her I think she's beautiful and fit and I admire her determination. 0 -
His fiancé looked like she was a good 20 pounds heavier than our coworker.
Quite ironic. However, sort of against the point of your story, no?
I'm.... Not quite sure I follow.
Ironic because your coworker was all judgmental about the girl gaining weight since high school, while his fiance was perhaps heavier than her.
I think your point was that he was fairly out of line for judging her. Then you proceed to be all snide about his fiance being 20lbs heavier than the other girl who, in your opinion, was very thin. So Girl #1 was thin enough to not deserve to have her weight commented on, but Girl #2 was overweight enough that you felt it was fine to comment on her weight.0 -
His fiancé looked like she was a good 20 pounds heavier than our coworker.
Quite ironic. However, sort of against the point of your story, no?
I'm.... Not quite sure I follow.
Ironic because your coworker was all judgmental about the girl gaining weight since high school, while his fiance was perhaps heavier than her.
I think your point was that he was fairly out of line for judging her. Then you proceed to be all snide about his fiance being 20lbs heavier than the other girl who, in your opinion, was very thin. So Girl #1 was thin enough to not deserve to have her weight commented on, but Girl #2 was overweight enough that you felt it was fine to comment on her weight.
I'm sure she was pointing out that the guy thought the one girl didn't look so good but thought his girlfriend looked amazing even know she weighed more than the girl he thought didn't look so good...0 -
This may not have been the point of your story, but I really hate it when people who are heavier than I am tell me: "YOU don't need to lose weight; I need to lose weight. I weigh (insert high number)!!"
I'm relatively close to my goal, and no longer look overweight when I'm wearing clothes. (In my undies, jelly belly is still detectable). But this does not mean that I don't need to lose weight.
I might need to lose LESS weight than someone who is heavier, but someone telling me how much they weigh in an attempt to convince me that I don't need to lose weight is not helpful at all.
This^
Now when I look back and think of how many times I said to people who were unhappy with their current weight that "hey at least your not MY weight, you don't need to lose anything!" And now, after hearing this myself, honestly, if someone feels like they need to lose weight it's their body, their choice, I'm not *****ing at you for saying that, but for all you know that extra 20lbs could really be messing with her. But I agree, that male coworker is an *kitten*0 -
This may not have been the point of your story, but I really hate it when people who are heavier than I am tell me: "YOU don't need to lose weight; I need to lose weight. I weigh (insert high number)!!"
I'm relatively close to my goal, and no longer look overweight when I'm wearing clothes. (In my undies, jelly belly is still detectable). But this does not mean that I don't need to lose weight.
I might need to lose LESS weight than someone who is heavier, but someone telling me how much they weigh in an attempt to convince me that I don't need to lose weight is not helpful at all.
Nope, not the point of my story but I can see your point. This young woman was healthy according to her height. I mean seriously though, how would you feel if you told me you needed to lose weight and I said, aw yeah girl. Get on that. Or if I was more polite if I said, "yeah, you do need to lose a little weight."
Or let me throw you a curve: how do you think someone bigger than you feels by you saying I need to lose weight and they probably got a good 50lbs on you? If I was sensitive about my weight I coulda taken her comment offensively.
Either way, the point of my story was to UPLIFT people. The world makes too much money on our insecurities and sadness. Even the biggest people in the world have something beautiful about them. If people are snickering behind someone's back, be that one person to uplift them. That's my point.
Very true!0 -
His fiancé looked like she was a good 20 pounds heavier than our coworker.
Quite ironic. However, sort of against the point of your story, no?
I'm.... Not quite sure I follow.
Ironic because your coworker was all judgmental about the girl gaining weight since high school, while his fiance was perhaps heavier than her.
I think your point was that he was fairly out of line for judging her. Then you proceed to be all snide about his fiance being 20lbs heavier than the other girl who, in your opinion, was very thin. So Girl #1 was thin enough to not deserve to have her weight commented on, but Girl #2 was overweight enough that you felt it was fine to comment on her weight.
I'm sure she was pointing out that the guy thought the one girl didn't look so good but thought his girlfriend looked amazing even know she weighed more than the girl he thought didn't look so good...
I'm sure that was the point. I get that. Maybe I'm the only one who sees this as hypocritical...? Why is it ok to judge one but not the other?
ETA: I know that OP's intention was to encourage us to uplift each other. I think that is a wonderful goal. I just don't think the delivery of the last sentence (ie: "the candles on the cake") was very uplifting.0 -
This may not have been the point of your story, but I really hate it when people who are heavier than I am tell me: "YOU don't need to lose weight; I need to lose weight. I weigh (insert high number)!!"
I'm relatively close to my goal, and no longer look overweight when I'm wearing clothes. (In my undies, jelly belly is still detectable). But this does not mean that I don't need to lose weight.
I might need to lose LESS weight than someone who is heavier, but someone telling me how much they weigh in an attempt to convince me that I don't need to lose weight is not helpful at all.
Nope, not the point of my story but I can see your point. This young woman was healthy according to her height. I mean seriously though, how would you feel if you told me you needed to lose weight and I said, aw yeah girl. Get on that. Or if I was more polite if I said, "yeah, you do need to lose a little weight."
Or let me throw you a curve: how do you think someone bigger than you feels by you saying I need to lose weight and they probably got a good 50lbs on you? If I was sensitive about my weight I coulda taken her comment offensively.
Either way, the point of my story was to UPLIFT people. The world makes too much money on our insecurities and sadness. Even the biggest people in the world have something beautiful about them. If people are snickering behind someone's back, be that one person to uplift them. That's my point.
I agree with your point: it is always better to encourage and uplift
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