Frustrations

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First and foremost, I've been dealing with weight issues since I was a kid. I was about 200 pounds at the end of high school and I worked hard to get it all off the next couple of years. By my junior year in college I had lost about 80 pounds and managed to keep it off for years. I exercized the first half off and then the rest was changing my eating habits. For me, it was mind over matter and a complete change of thinking - not just lifestyle. As long as I thought of it as a punishment I treated it as such.

I gained about 45 pounds with my son in 2004 and did get about 25 pounds of that off. I have in the last couple of years ranged between 140-150, which is still too much. That makes me unhappy. Until the last 6 months or so I managed to still stay comfortable in my size 8 and M size clothes. I have been more comfortable at present in size 10, some L, and lots of cotton stretch.

I have worked to get my mindset right and being in school fulltime (graduate level so about 4-5 research papers a week) on top of a fulltime job and fulltime parent makes things very difficult. I am not as active because I can't read research articles and type papers while staying in constant motion. So, I got an elliptical machine at home and have committed myself to getting up entirely too early so I can use it before my household is awake. Many times my eyes are closed and I am yawning, but damnit I'm getting the 2.5 miles done. My calories don't get very high it seems, but I plug away anyway. I have used it 5 out of 7 days the last month and a half. Yesterday I managed to get 45 minutes into it and got a whopping 288 calories. And my weight you ask? Up to 150.4 from the 149 the other day. Nice. Today - 40 minutes and 236.

I know my eating habits remain part of the problem and that is frustrating to me, but I do not eat as much, snack on garbage as much, and I am watching calories consistently. The pounds are not going down. Actually, they've gone up about 3 pounds and it makes me angry and stressed. When I lost all the weight before I didn't count calories. As a matter of fact, I didn't pay any attention at all to calories. Instead, I watched the fat content only. If it was fat free or even low in fat, but full of sugar and high in calories - I ate it. If it had few calories but little fat - I didn't eat it at all. That worked and it worked well. I got down 80 pounds. I bought a box of low call, full of good stuff Atkins snack bars Saturday and got them home to see that for the 170 calorie bars - they had 12 grams of fat! I'm beside myself wishing I'd bought $6 worth of fat free little Debbies.

I'm going to keep at it. All of you are having successes and the count calorie thing has worked a long time obviously, but I'm getting frustrated. I know I am partly to blame, but to be under calorie count most days and exercising on top I would feel I should see different results instead of gaining. I'll trudge through it, but I needed to get this out of my system because I'm tired of thinking about it. Any words that might help will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

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  • Jibby1017
    Jibby1017 Posts: 8 Member
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    I think losing weight comes with frustrations so that's when mental strength comes into play. Stay motivated and decide what your overall goals are and keep plugging away. Every day. If you have time to read or do research on exercise and nutrition (e.g., Body for Life for Women), you'll find that you need healthy fats in your diet. They aid in important body functions, plus, they also help to keep you full and satisfied. Weight fluctuations can be from a lot of things, including building muscle. Since you feel you are not burning a lot of calories on your elliptical, maybe try to not eat all the calories you machine says you burned and see how you feel. Calories burned are not an exact science so you may need to adjust up or down for your life.

    Also add bulk to your diet (lots of veggies and fruit) and whole grains (check out the http://www.wholegrainscouncil.org for information as to why whole grains are important, what the whole grains are, and recipes). And, keep your MyFitnessPaI log! I think if you keep reading/research about food, nutrition, and exercise, you'll should be able to make lots of small changes over time which will add up to a healthy lifestyle and weight.