Anyone else trying to recover from an ED?

ssingularity
ssingularity Posts: 3
in Motivation and Support
I'm not doing very well at trying to recover, but I have a therapist (or rather - had, but am about to switch because I was seeing an intern and she graduated). And I see a nutritionist but I'm having a hard time meeting my goals (which admittedly are very very simple to try to keep from freaking me out) but my "goals" set for me by my nutritionist include attempting to reach 750 cals a day (yes, we both recognize this is too little but it's still a lot more than I used to eat), attempting to include more protein in my diet, a piece of fruit w/ breakfast (which is usually a bowl of cereal w/ unsweetened almond milk), try and STOP b/ping on ice cream (or making it my primary diet haha); simple stuff like that. I'm also going to be working through a book called The Happiness Trap. We'll see. But I'd love to have other ED'd / sorta-attempting-nutritional-recovery-from-ED people on my friends list.

Replies

  • sarahhan95
    sarahhan95 Posts: 25
    Hi, nice to meet you :)! I used to have bulimia, and I'm at the end of my recovery journey. I think my bulimia is all about shutting the voice inside my head and being disciplined, resisting the urge to purge after meals. The voice still lives with me but he is not around too much anymore, and I'm still learning every day to shut him out. I didn't have a therapist so I was pretty solitaire in my attempt, but luckily that works out pretty well for me personally.

    I think the key is to radically change my perception and relationship with food, seeing it as friends and fuels rather than something I need to get rid of. I was very fortunate to discover my love for cooking, and somehow that allows me to make peace with food :). I also find running as my meditation, and my diet revolves around fueling my body for the athletic ambition. A friend of mine has anorexia, but she discovers yoga and that helps to calm her mind down as well. Finding a passion relieves the load of my obsession and in a strange, perverse sense I'm kinda grateful that I find out so much more about myself afterwards :).

    Please feel free to add me as a friend. I wish you the best!
  • ssingularity
    ssingularity Posts: 3
    Thanks for replying. I wish I could do yoga or use the idea of fueling myself for athleticism. I'm disabled -- Rheumatoid Arthritis and Lupus. My joints are ****. I can't do anything high impact, and I'm concerned about making everything worse. I joined a gym recently and have a trainer that is aware of my RA and such but she doesn't know about my ED but she wants to see my cal counts for the last month and I'm terrified I'll get kicked out of the gym because of it. She flipped when I said I was eating approx 1000 cals (which is a high day for me lol) and wants me to eat and "additional" 1000 cals a day of protein! AHHHHH! lol.

    I've been trying to change my relationship with food but I just don't have the support system in place to manage at the moment. I don't even have a therapist at this point in time. I have a nutritionist but I don't really trust her and she's super into DBT which I am NOT (terrible experiences with it) and she keeps pushing me in ways that I don't feel comfortable doing. I also think I may need 24/7 care to be able to stick to a meal plan. I've been trying for the last 6 months to get into Castlewood treatment center (which will take me and is covered by my insurance) but my insurance is being a pain in the *kitten* because they don't want to cover anything out of state. But nothing in state will take me either. The only resi places in state only take women (I'm a guy which makes it all the more difficult) and they wanted me to try all the PHP places first which all rejected me because of my health problems and told me to go to resi lol.

    I think I can accurately say I *used* to have bulimia because I very rarely to purge these days. I am doing Invisalign which means I have to brush my teeth after eating in order to put them back in (can't eat with them in) and you can't brush your teeth after purging (as I'm sure you know) so it basically makes the aligners pointless. So I've been seriously restricting but I don't know how to get out of the cycle. I have cyclic thinking up the wazoo and it's awful. PLUS I actually DO need to lose weight (not just body dysphoria -- I'm overweight)
  • AmeliaLynnPanda
    AmeliaLynnPanda Posts: 4
    I have an eating disorder and I have found relief in Overeaters Anonymous. So grateful!

    Amy

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