Strangers

Usually casual acquaintances tend to discuss my ups and downs with my weight more than I prefer. However a stranger did come up to a friend of mine while she was upset, assumed it was about her weight, and recommended gastric bypass surgery! Some people just need to mind their own business, if my weight is open for public discussion, be ready to have some of your imperfections pointed out as well.

I don't judge people. Heck, I let myself go a bit. But I use to look at people that were really over weight and wonder how they let themselves get like that. Just put down the soda (and no that diet soda doesn't help. it's like trying to put out a Forrest fire with a squirt gun). I sometimes wanted to say something to them. I thought they would be happier if they lost weight and I would love to help them do it.

I have a friend now that over weight. She has two kids, goes to school full time and is dealing with MS. So, it's easy to see how she could have let herself go. One day she saw me using this site (I am staying with her and her family) and the fact that I was working out and it motivated her to try. Its been about 6 weeks and she has lost almost 30lbs. I am so proud of her.

I am sorry that the person hurt you, but you said it got you motivated. Sometimes that is all a person needs. It's not hard to follow this site and try and keep track and just lose it. I am sure you will do fine. She probability didn't mean to hurt your feelings. But maybe just worried about you as another human being. Maybe it was the fact that she DIDN'T see you as another "fat person" but saw the person inside. and wanted to help her. Whatever the reason, I hope you do well.

I don't judge people. Heck, I let myself go a bit. But I use to look at people that were really over weight and wonder how they let themselves get like that. Just put down the soda (and no that diet soda doesn't help. it's like trying to put out a Forrest fire with a squirt gun). I sometimes wanted to say something to them. I thought they would be happier if they lost weight and I would love to help them do it.

I have a friend now that over weight. She has two kids, goes to school full time and is dealing with MS. So, it's easy to see how she could have let herself go. One day she saw me using this site (I am staying with her and her family) and the fact that I was working out and it motivated her to try. Its been about 6 weeks and she has lost almost 30lbs. I am so proud of her.

I am sorry that the person hurt you, but you said it got you motivated. Sometimes that is all a person needs. It's not hard to follow this site and try and keep track and just lose it. I am sure you will do fine. She probability didn't mean to hurt your feelings. But maybe just worried about you as another human being. Maybe it was the fact that she DIDN'T see you as another "fat person" but saw the person inside. and wanted to help her. Whatever the reason, I hope you do well.

Diet soda has helped me. They say it isn't better for you health wise, but calorie wise it's worked for me! I was never a fan of diet soda but I'm starting to like it now. And I'm pretty positive eventually I won't want any at all, or maybe not so often. But water is definitely the best choice.

I wasn't approached by a stranger but by a co-worker. He isn't from our country and his boundaries are not the same. He walked up to me last week and said that he needed to tell me something. Then he stated that I needed to go to the gym. Although his words kind of stung at first, I soon realized that he was right. I had spent a good part of last year excersizing 3-4 times a week and really watching what I ate but life got in the way and I reverted back to my old ways. I truly enjoyed the person that I was becoming during that time and I am glad that he took the time to say that to me. His delivery may have not been the best but it was brutally honest and thats what I needed.

I think a lot of times when people talk to strangers about their weight, its because they have never had an issue with their own weight. Its easy to judge others and give advice until you take a walk in their shoes.

Hopefully our eyes have been opened for a good reason. Happy losing to you all!!

I think she was just trying to be helpful. She may not have went about it the best way but her intentions seemed good.

I agree. I think she was honestly trying to be helpful and she was really nice too but it just really took me by surprise because it's never happened to me before and I've been heavy all my life. I also can't imagine doing that to someone so it's odd to me that someone did that to me. I can't imagine approaching a stranger and talking to him/her about their weight. I think it's just none of my business. If I'm asked for advice or my opinion, that's a different story.

well you are right it is rather rude BUT at the same time I can relate a little to why she may have done it. Since I have discovered MFP if people ask me what I am doing to lose weight I say diet & excercise then proceed to tell them about MFP But I have noticed when I see an overweight person, my first thought is I wish I could just walk up to them and tell them about MFP I guess there is the difference between me and the lady that approached you, I only WISH I could she just does it! But then I also think... well for all I know she[the stranger] already is on a journey and has lost 50lbs already! So I figure I will just lose a ton of weight and then people will approach me THEN I can tell them all about MFP!! She probably had the best intentions don't let it bother you too much, it just shows there are still caring people in the world that sometimes get a little overly 'helpful'!

I would hate if that ever happened to me.

I'm a dietitian and I love to share my knowledge with other people but I don't just approach people and offer it, especially for weight management.... you know why?

2 reasons - Firstly, you can tell people everything they need to know about weight loss, you can provide healthy eating advice, free gym memberships, even perform surgery but at the end of the day if the person is not ready within themself to change, then you are probably just making the problem worse, making them more defiant. Also, once someone is truly ready, they are usually more than capable of researching what will work for them or what they are willing to try.

Secondly, just because a person is overweight does not mean they are not trying to do something about their weight. It doesn't even mean they are not succeeding in doing something! Would you not be annoyed and insulted if you were 300lbs but had lost 100lbs and some stranger who maybe has never even been overweight was offering you advice? And so you end up feeling like the OP expressed, like all they see is a fat person.

So yeah, definitely sympathise with the OP on this one.

It never ends. When you get close to your goal weight, people will tell you that you don't need to loose any more weight. After that, they'll tell you that you are too thin.

This is so true

It never ends. When you get close to your goal weight, people will tell you that you don't need to loose any more weight. After that, they'll tell you that you are too thin.

I can't WAIT for people to tell me I'm too thin!!:bigsmile:

I think that person just saw you as a "business opportunity." You fit into their "market" and they hoped to make some money off of you. I'm sorry it happened.

this sounds like the likeliest reason for such behavior.

stupid people are everywhere- don't let them get you down!