Nervous - but hello

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violavia
violavia Posts: 5
in Introduce Yourself
Hi, everyone.

I've had a few of these accounts before, but I always ended up feeling depressed and deleting them. But I thought I should try again, so here I am.

I'm a 21yr old female, a University student. I'm currently 259lbs but would love to be around the 140lbs mark. I've lost all my confidence, so much that I wont go out with friends, I haven't been shopping for clothes for ages (even though I'm a fashion student, which is kinda of funny, I guess). I also have M.E, which makes it hard to exercise. I haven't been on holiday since 2008 and, at my lowest, I missed my sister's graduation because I was ashamed of how I look. I keep getting in the mindset I wont change, it wont happen to me. It happens to other people, I'm not special enough.

I am really sorry if this is depressing. But I want to change! I am unhealthy and it impacts not only my life, but others. I joined this website again because people might support me, or understand how I feel. The world of being healthy confuses me. I'm willing to try my hardest and put in the effort and I guess this is the first start.
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Replies

  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
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    Hello and welcome.

    MFP is a great place and I'm certain you'll find people who are on similar journeys and many others who can help you on your journey.

    I'm going to say that for some of us, the hardest part of the journey is the mental one. Getting it through our thick skulls (speaking from personal experience here) that we're worth it and deserve it. That we're worth all the effort that it's going to take. That we deserve to look better, feel better and the time necessary to do the right things to reach our goals.

    The other thing to remember is not to beat yourself up when you slip up. We're human, it's going to happen, forgive yourself the same as you would a friend and get back to it.

    Now's the time in your life to get this under control. Don't wait. You've got this whole incredible life ahead of you to enjoy.
  • hollydesade_
    hollydesade_ Posts: 10
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    Hey vio,
    I'm pretty active on here myself :-) i think the first start is getting help and motivation. If you need someone to exchange messages with, i would like that!
  • violavia
    violavia Posts: 5
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    Hello! Thank you for the replies :)

    hollydesade_ - Exchanging messages would be a good idea! Sometimes I lose focus on my goal, or see the whole picture and panic, it's nice to be able to speak to someone who can make me level headed again.

    Familiar- Thank you, you are so true. For me, it is the mental block. Sometimes I feel like I'm too old to become who I want to be, that I've wasted too much time. But that is stupid. When I think logically, I know it is. I guess I've been conditioned from school and peers to feel like I'm a massive failure, and I can't seem to shake it off. Hopefully one day, I will. And the people at MFP seem nice and understanding :)
  • marfeez
    marfeez Posts: 17 Member
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    Please do this for yourself Vio! You owe it to yourself. I'm 40 lbs. overweight which is a lot for me, but I've gone through menopause, and for some reason, I crave sweets all the time! Plus I have a bakery business as a side job, so that makes it hard to, but I do not want to give up my baking because I love it. I just have to learn to not eat it. I know how you feel about not wanting to go places because being overweight, but you have to overcome that. And you CAN if you really WANT to. MFP friends will really help you stay motivated, but you have to be devoted and log in every day. Please feel free to ask me to be your friend. I need all the support that I can get too.
  • LemonLizard
    LemonLizard Posts: 86 Member
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    This is a great first start! It seems to me that a community like this will be beneficial to anyone who takes it seriously enough. There a ton of people who all want to help.

    I'm also a university student, feel free to add me and we can do our best to support each other!
  • violavia
    violavia Posts: 5
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    Thank you for the support!
    LemonLizard- University is tough, in the sense that being away from home, and stress of work. Argh! But, do you live in halls or a house? I like the fact I can shop for myself because I know I wont buy myself junk food. A reason I'm looking forward to going back!

    marfeez- Thank you for your comment. Yes, I def. need to overcome my fear of going places, it impacts my life way too much. And you're right, I owe it to no one but myself :)
  • EdTheGinge
    EdTheGinge Posts: 1,616 Member
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    Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii there, that's all I have to say. I'd like to say I'm a man of few words but that would be a lie, i try and support where i can and am active on here :)

    Happy to be added, if not good luck and rock on
  • mygrl4meee
    mygrl4meee Posts: 943 Member
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    Welcome, Hope you stick around this time.. this site has been a life saver for me. I started out with weight a litltle higer than yours and now I am under 200 lbs!! You can do it.
  • walzllw
    walzllw Posts: 105 Member
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    Welcome and no matter what keep logging in. MFP is a great place to go for support. I helps me stay on track and stay motivated. The people on this site are WONDERFUL! Sending you a friend request now.
  • CaptainMilda
    CaptainMilda Posts: 127 Member
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    Welcome, happy to have you here on MFP. It's a great place to be, people are super supportive. Sending a request your way :-)
  • Mady1911
    Mady1911 Posts: 90 Member
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    I suggest you start reading the success stories section...you will find people like yourself or worse who've said no to bad habits and got off the sofa....there's plenty inspiration and motivation in there! Good luck!
  • violavia
    violavia Posts: 5
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    Mady1911 - The success stories are great. I read some of them this morning in a better frame of mind, and I feel like I can do something :)

    And thank you to PerLouise, walzllw, mygrl4meee and EdTheGinge for the kind words x
  • Yanagibashi
    Yanagibashi Posts: 58 Member
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    Oh boy do I know where you are coming from. My lifestyle changed drastically when I left high school and went to college and most of my weight was gained there. I also find myself dodging social invites because my thinner and cooler friends are going some place trendy and I am sure I will stand out (twice as broad as anybody else). I've been on here for only a week or so, but it's great to have support and other people who are trying to do the same thing as you.
  • maforsyth
    maforsyth Posts: 1
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    Hi there. I can relate, I have RA and have a difficult time exercising. I'm 240 and only 5 foot. 140 is my goal weight also. I would love to have someone or some people to support me.
  • TiffieLand
    TiffieLand Posts: 159
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    Wow I can definitely relate to everything that you feel and did. I also did the same then realized that I missed out on so much and regret so much but I still couldn't help it with the weight. But I decided to work hard and get out there to make myself motivate to work hard on my goal so I can feel confident walking out the door and do everything that I want to do and do all the shopping and wear all those clothes that I wanted. Btw I am also a university student.
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
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    WELCOME!
    We are here for you
  • letmebangbro
    letmebangbro Posts: 213 Member
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    As long as you have the desire to change, that's all that matters.
    If you're determined enough to instil a change in your life, you will.

    All depends on yourself. Diet and working out. Both equally as important.

    Just be prepared for a long grind. There are no magic cures, overnight tricks.
    Results will come with time. It's not easy, not for everyone.
    Gotta be able to say no to certain activities and keep on track.

    There will be days when you're tired, sore and not want to stay on track. But remember the end result will be worth it.
    And if you're self-concious, you're there to change and people will respect that so don't worry.

    We're all gonna make it.
  • LadyBenihime
    LadyBenihime Posts: 17 Member
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    Hey Violavia!

    I'm new on this site and would really like to meet some people to share support with as well. :) When I first decided to change my life I started reading success stories online and wow what motivation. To see other people like me who had a lot of weight to lose (I started my journey at 295lbs and am currently around 284lbs) who really did lose the weight and change their lives really made me feel like I could actually do this. I don't know about your personal story but I've spent my entire life overweight and have had a very unhealthy relationship with food for as long as I can remember. I completely understand the lack of confidence and feelings of shame etc... I'd love to be a support for you.. and we can support eachother through this life change :)
  • cutlooseat60
    cutlooseat60 Posts: 19
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    Hi,

    All I can say is you are young and the older you get the harder its is to change. I will be 60 in March, a friend said to me...Sexy at Sixty! Let's get healthy! I wanted it, but I thought I've done this and I have always failed. Than my sister gave me a lecture. I am a 12 year ovarian cancer survivor. The only medication I take is for acid reflux. Her lecture was...when are you going to do something about your weight? When the doctor tells you have high blood sugar or you need blood pressure medicine and the list goes on. I have 80 lbs to loose and this has not been easy. Nothing is. It's mind over matter. I have my moments when I choose wrong, but I don't dwell on it. I don't beat myself up and just keep destroying myself. It's done so let's move past it. Years ago I would just throw up my hands and say 'I can't do this and I would stuff myself. Weekends are the hardest for me. I have started swimming and that has been my safe haven. I swim, I walk in the pool, I tread water, I do anything to keep moving. Find something you can enjoy. Just so you keep moving. You can do this. Don't wait till your older and it's harder to take the weight off. Good Luck and don't give up.
  • violavia
    violavia Posts: 5
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    Thank you to pwittek10, Yanagibashi, maforsyth and tiffanydang12 for sharing :)
    letmebangbro - That really made a lot of sense, thank you so much
    LadyBenihime- Well done on your weight loss so far! And I'm the same, since I broke my leg when I was 8, I've been overweight, and started to comfort eat at 15 and it's all got a bit out of hand. Thank you for sharing your story
    cutlooseat6- Thank you for the support. And being a cancer survivor is such an amazing thing. Your message made a lot of sense, thank you x

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