This is about the time I usually give up....

motivationformandy · August 2013

So this will be my first post since joining and I feel like saying it out loud will help me not quit!

A little back story-
I have been overweight for the past 6 years and can never get motivated to change this. I always start something and then with my slow progress of any results, I quit. I got married in July 2011 and shortly after we started trying for a baby. Since then we have suffered 3 pregnancy losses ranging between 12-20 weeks along. I have taken a 3 month break between each loss but they have no answers as to what is happening other than just bad luck. So my last loss was June 6th at our 3 month sonogram and that was my breaking point. I realize I have no control over what is going on but that the one thing I can control is my health from this point on!

So 3 weeks ago I started eating 80% clean and getting more active. Last week I started NROLFW and cardio on the 2 days I do not work out. So far I have gained 1.5 pounds! This is usually the point where I give up because it isn't working! I know if I can just keep going eventually I can see results but my mind keeps telling me I'm a failure:(

I decided to change my profile pic to the most current fat pic I have (taken Saturday) to remind myself how I look now. As well as share my stats to complete strangers so I can no longer just be a silent lurker:)

Here goes:

Height: 5'2"

CW-170
GW-135

Hips-45
Waist-40-Bigger than my husbands:(
Chest-40

Ok so now it is out there. Lets hope this gives me the motivation to keep going for once!
Thanks for letting me share:)

mdcoug · August 2013

First of all, I am so sorry for your losses.

It sounds like you have a great plan! Just make sure you're logging your calories and measuring everything, especially now when you're just starting out. And, small gains when starting a new workout program are normal.

Also, get rid of the negative self-talk. I'm not one to do positive affirmations in front of the mirror, but I will kick myself in the butt if I even start to apply negative terms to myself. I don't let anyone else call me a failure, why should I let myself call me a failure, KWIM?

What has helped me in the past is focusing on the little, day-to-day successes instead of the long term. I know that calorie deficits will lead to weight loss and that exercise will lead to improved health. So, create a plan, track progress on those smaller elements each day and eventually you'll find your hard work is paying off.

You can do it!

mallen404 · August 2013

Is there a reason you don't exercise?

walking is a great exercise.

For me, it was diet that helped me big time- What I was eating, not the calories of it. I focused on healthy, whole grains, lean protein and veggies/fruit.

tonythebuick · August 2013

I agree with MD. Just make it through the day. Tomorrow, just make it through the day. The following day, just make it through the day. After a short time all these little successes will become a habit. Success enhances motivation. Motivation leads to more success. If it was easy all of us would have perfect bodies. If you have a setback, don't beat yourself up, just get right back into your program. Allow yourself to succeed.

motivationformandy · August 2013

I am working out currently. I have always been somewhat active but never consistent. As of last Monday I am lifting weights 3 x a week and cardio 2 x a week so hopefully this will help.

Although I am counting calories I do not weigh my food. I have been measuring some things but guessing on others. I do feel like I try to over guesstimate a bit so weighing food would be a good tool for me. Thanks for the advice!

I really do need to work on the positive talk and I think that is the hardest part right now because I do feel so down on myself. My husband asks me to name one thing I like about myself every so often and I always give him the same answer..."I like my eyes." LOL He says next time he asks I need a new answer:)

ImSoOTired · August 2013

I'm sorry for your losses. Especially that far along, it must devastating. Hugs to you!
I didn't have any losses but I did have to lose 30lbs just to get my cycles in order to conceive. It's so hard waiting for something you want so badly and I hope you are holding up as well as you can.

We seem to be around the same size and I know how you feel. It's hard not to be hard on yourself but give yourself a little credit for trying. You are doing great so far with the workouts if you can just keep it up. Also I agree you should start measuring and weighing your food. I bought an extra set of measuring cups and a cheap food scale off of amazon. It's done wonders for me and although my weight is back up I'll lose it again. It's just a matter of sticking to it. If I can do it, so can you!

ImSoOTired · August 2013

Also I weigh myself every 2 weeks and measure once a month. It gives me something to aim for and I don't see the daily fluctuations to deter me in anyway. Besides that, you are doing more strength training than cardio so you are more likely losing inches and not weight. Don't give up because you don't see results immediately.

Mokey41 · August 2013

Your food intake will play at least 80% of the role in your weight loss so be really accurate with food and cautious with eating exercise calories back. It's a good habit to learn to weigh and measure everything. Most of us are horrible at being able to eyeball portions. Eating "clean" is great but it doesn't guarantee weight loss. You can eat too much good food just as easily as too much junk.

mewilmes · August 2013

I am also 5'2". I weight 164 now, but about a year and a half ago I was at 170. (I was recovering from surgery and in a wheelchair for quite some time) I have pretty much always had a bigger waist than my husband, so I know how that feels. I've been on MFP for about two months, and although I haven't lost any weight, I have come down a size.

So sorry for your loss. What can anyone say?

Using a scale will certainly help you deal with portion control. I'd really recommend getting one if you don't have one.

Don't think of giving up, you're on a new journey. I'm not bummed my lack of weight loss because I'm not really on a diet. I'm learning a new way to eat. It's really pretty awesome.

DianneP6772 · August 2013

First, sorry for your losses.

Second - you can do this! Yes, get a food scale. We did and i was amazed when i would first weigh things. I don't weigh everything, but i do weigh any meat i have. A couple of days ago i weighed some roasted potatoes. Thought by now that i would know about what it weighed. I was way off! Thought it would be about 6-7 oz - wrong - 11 oz. So put some back! My first day on MFP i had my granola for breakfast that i had been having for over a year. Then i added up what each thing was - shock! Well - that
was the last day for that. Now i have oatmeal - cooked with a little added protein powder - with water and stevia. About a third calorie wise - of what i had been eating. I log everything - Everything - that goes in my mouth.

And exercise. I have exercised more in the past 3 months in order to log exercise and get my calories! Its an incentive! Then i can have a couple of treats and only use 1/3 to 1/2 of my exercise calories.

This works - it makes you accountable. You can do it - just log, log log! Good luck!

motivationformandy · August 2013

Yeah it has definitely been a tough couple years. Great idea about the weighing myself every two weeks. Right now I am weighing myself every week and it sucks!!! LOL I figure I will take my measurements again after a full month of consistent workout and see what that says.

I guess its time to dust off my weight watchers scale I bought a couple years ago and never used:)

Thanks for the all the advice. It really helped getting some tips I tend to forget about and it helped get out of this funk.

rachaelgifford · August 2013

Yeah it has definitely been a tough couple years. Great idea about the weighing myself every two weeks. Right now I am weighing myself every week and it sucks!!! LOL I figure I will take my measurements again after a full month of consistent workout and see what that says.

I guess its time to dust off my weight watchers scale I bought a couple years ago and never used:)

Thanks for the all the advice. It really helped getting some tips I tend to forget about and it helped get out of this funk.

Put the scales in a cupboard between weigh ins as well. I used to drive myself crazy stepping on them every time I walked past. I am progressing better now that I am not looking at it so much!!!

MinnieInMaine · August 2013

The answer for your slight increase is very likely due to starting NROLFW. When you start a new exercise or increase the intensity, this usually causes microtears, which is the reason behind DOMS (delayed onset mucle soreness). The other side effect of DOMS is a temporary weight gain becuase the muscle tissue retains water and glycogen to help with the healing process. Totally normal, nothing to worry about.

Sorry to hear about your losses on this. I've never been pregnant but have supported my best friend through a few miscarriages and it's a tough thing to go through. Could be your hormones are still out of whack?

I know it can be frustrating and demotivating but you really have to stay committed and determined in this. Continue eating well and staying in your calories. Continue on with your exercise programs. Avoid high sodium foods and drink water like it's your job!

You got this!

jfrankic · August 2013

Oh girl, I'm so sorry.

A few things that you MUST know.

1. You did nothing to cause miscarriages.
2. Lifting weights will help heal you mentally, emotionally and physically. It will be the BEST thing you can do for your body composition during your fat loss program.
3. You will ALWAYS weigh more the day after lifting due to muscles retaining water to heal. Best to weigh after at least one full rest day, in the morning. Also, it is very common to see scale gains during the first few weeks of lifting. Perfectly normal, yet frustrating just the same.
4. Don't deprive yourself of food. With your activity level of lifting and cardio, you are at least lightly active. How many calories are you eating per day? Are you letting MFP set your goal? Are you "eating back" exercise calories? It's very hard to estimate calories for strength training, and most of us who lift use the TDEE-% system. This means we eat the same amount each day and don't use the "eat back" system. Your TDEE is around 2100-2350, depending on your job, type of cardio etc. You can take a cut from that.
5. Feel free to PM me if you would like help. Also, another great resource is the "roadmap" linked here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet .
5. Don't give up.

jessicawrites · August 2013

I typically weigh in every day, although I only officially "count" my Mondays. Gaining a bit the day or two after a workout is frustrating, but I'm learning to spin it positively: I'm holding water to repair my muscles and get stronger, so I'm doing things right! Alternatively, I can check my sodium intake the previous day and see if that was too high and my body needs extra water today. The point is, you don't need to punish yourself. Learn why fluctuations happen, course-correct when slips happen, and celebrate the kind of temporary gain that leads to long-term health.

SairahRose · August 2013

Oh girl, I'm so sorry.

A few things that you MUST know.

1. You did nothing to cause miscarriages.
2. Lifting weights will help heal you mentally, emotionally and physically. It will be the BEST thing you can do for your body composition during your fat loss program.
3. You will ALWAYS weigh more the day after lifting due to muscles retaining water to heal. Best to weigh after at least one full rest day, in the morning. Also, it is very common to see scale gains during the first few weeks of lifting. Perfectly normal, yet frustrating just the same.
4. Don't deprive yourself of food. With your activity level of lifting and cardio, you are at least lightly active. How many calories are you eating per day? Are you letting MFP set your goal? Are you "eating back" exercise calories? It's very hard to estimate calories for strength training, and most of us who lift use the TDEE-% system. This means we eat the same amount each day and don't use the "eat back" system. Your TDEE is around 2100-2350, depending on your job, type of cardio etc. You can take a cut from that.
5. Feel free to PM me if you would like help. Also, another great resource is the "roadmap" linked here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet .
5. Don't give up.

This. She said everything I could have said, only better.

*hugs loads* I feel your pain on the losses, too. You'll get to where you need to be

kethry70 · August 2013

I'm really sorry for your losses... Have they tested you for clotting disorders like what some infertility forum friends called the Mother F@#$er gene?
As to the rest, don't obsess over the scale... measurements are a much better indicator of progress. And I ditto getting a food scale and everything jfrankic said. Good Luck!

MicheleStitches · August 2013

I'm so glad to see you measured yourself. That is a much more accurate way to see progress than by your weight. I have (in the past) seen myself stay the same weight or even gain a little but LOSE INCHES at the same time. If you are working out and eating healthy, you are doing good things for your body. It WILL respond positively. Keep it up! Don't get discouraged. Just remind yourself that every good choice you make is one step closer to being where you want to be!

:happy: :happy: :happy:

motivationformandy · August 2013

I'm really sorry for your losses... Have they tested you for clotting disorders like what some infertility forum friends called the Mother F@#$er gene?
As to the rest, don't obsess over the scale... measurements are a much better indicator of progress. And I ditto getting a food scale and everything jfrankic said. Good Luck!

Although I did test positive for MTHFR my doc does not think that has anything to do with it. Many dr.'s do not think it is a big deal and only suggest to take more folic acid. After doing lots of research I have requested for next pregnancy to get on Lovenox and a prenatal that has natural form of folate instead of synthetic folic acid which my body does not absorb properly. Its just crazy they wont do anything without me insisting.

MicheleStitches · August 2013

My husband asks me to name one thing I like about myself every so often and I always give him the same answer..."I like my eyes." LOL He says next time he asks I need a new answer:)

Looking at your profile picture, I'd say you have a great smile & a lovely face. Also, even though you are currently a bit larger than you want to be, you have a very nice, feminine, hour-glass-proportioned shape.

candylilacs · August 2013

For what it's worth, extra weight around the middle isn't great for fertility. It's great you're doing something about it. I am, too!

candylilacs · August 2013

For what it's worth, extra weight around the middle isn't great for fertility. It's great you're doing something about it. I am, too!

motivationformandy · August 2013

Oh girl, I'm so sorry.

A few things that you MUST know.

1. You did nothing to cause miscarriages.
2. Lifting weights will help heal you mentally, emotionally and physically. It will be the BEST thing you can do for your body composition during your fat loss program.
3. You will ALWAYS weigh more the day after lifting due to muscles retaining water to heal. Best to weigh after at least one full rest day, in the morning. Also, it is very common to see scale gains during the first few weeks of lifting. Perfectly normal, yet frustrating just the same.
4. Don't deprive yourself of food. With your activity level of lifting and cardio, you are at least lightly active. How many calories are you eating per day? Are you letting MFP set your goal? Are you "eating back" exercise calories? It's very hard to estimate calories for strength training, and most of us who lift use the TDEE-% system. This means we eat the same amount each day and don't use the "eat back" system. Your TDEE is around 2100-2350, depending on your job, type of cardio etc. You can take a cut from that.
5. Feel free to PM me if you would like help. Also, another great resource is the "roadmap" linked here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/975025-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet .
5. Don't give up.

Thanks for all the advice. I am eating around 1650 per day and not focusing on eating back calories at this point. I did read the roadmap post and it says I should be eating 1800ish so maybe I should up my cals? That scares me a little so I may just see what happens as is and if nothing then up. I did weigh myself the day after lifting so maybe I will only weigh myself on sundays after my rest day.

Sjenny5891 · August 2013

I agree the weight gain is more than likely from the new exercise and lifting weights.
When I started, all I did was walk 30 minutes a day.

Losing weight is a slow process. The toughest part is your weight can fluxuate 5 pounds in one given day- so always weigh yourself in the same clothes (or lack thereof) at around the same time of the day.
I have read posts where people complain about weighing more after they exercise- probably from the muscles retaining water-

candylilacs · August 2013

After reading all the responses, I can tell you that I have never been pregnant ever. I went through IVF, had four very nice-looking embryos (my eggs they said were too old!) but nothing happened.

And nothing happened two years before that. It's a numbers game -- and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.

The ideal healthy 22 year old only has about a 50 percent chance of getting pregnant each month. Carrying it to term is less that that. The less ideal and young you are the percentage goes down. I'm not a big believer in statistics and taking them to heart, but I will tell you that it takes time, effort and numerous tries.That sucks because it saps your strength emotionally and psychologically (and financially!)

I've never had a miscarriage (because I've never even gotten pregnant) but I can only imagine how awful and heartwrenching that is. My cousin had six before she had her son who is very fat and very healthy. She felt like giving up, but just kept trying. That's kind of what success is -- persevering when everyone else around you has quit.

My doctor told me that I have a magical egg in there somewhere and we just have to find it. In the mean time, I decided to lose weight and get healthier because losing weight has been medically proven to help prevent miscarriage. You're doing what you need to do and that's all you can do. The rest will happen.

SairahRose · August 2013

I was eating 1300 cals - netting about 700 maybe. Then read the Road Map.
I was terrified, but upped the cals to net roughly 1200. I gained 10lb, but carried on even though I felt miserable - yay for great encouragement on here. The month after that, I lost 12lb, and so many inches. It was a great transformation.
Now I lift, and net about 14-1600.

You'll get there

kethry70 · August 2013

I'm really sorry for your losses... Have they tested you for clotting disorders like what some infertility forum friends called the Mother F@#$er gene?
As to the rest, don't obsess over the scale... measurements are a much better indicator of progress. And I ditto getting a food scale and everything jfrankic said. Good Luck!

Although I did test positive for MTHFR my doc does not think that has anything to do with it. Many dr.'s do not think it is a big deal and only suggest to take more folic acid. After doing lots of research I have requested for next pregnancy to get on Lovenox and a prenatal that has natural form of folate instead of synthetic folic acid which my body does not absorb properly. Its just crazy they wont do anything without me insisting.

Your doctors are nuts

FWIW, an internet friend had several miscarriages and a full-term stillbirth (clot in the cord). They finally dx'd her with MTHFR after the stillbirth and her successful pregnancy was on lovenox (or heparin - can't remember) . Glad you will insist and I wish you luck and blessings in both the healthy weight loss and healthy pregnancy departments :flowerforyou:

This is about the time I usually give up....

Replies

Categories