Experiences that really, deeply changed you
Everybody has them: experiences that changed your life, your way of thinking, how you look upon things.
Sometimes you created them yourself, sometimes it just happened to you.
I start with a few of my own:
-At highschool there were a bunch of girls who ridiculed and made fun with everything I said. I still feel very uncomfortable when I talk to a group of females, even though, years later, I worked as a bartender in a brothel (should have helped me, you would say
).
-When I worked as a bouncer, I had at least one fight at the weekend. One time I hit the wrong guy, and he came back with a gun and fired a few shots at me. Happily he wasn't a good shooter.
-When I had to speak at the funeral of a friend.
-I once had a girlfriend who made a fight with me almost every day. She was not the quiet typ, so she shouted like crazy, throwing things, had a big rage. This relationship lasted more then 4 years. Untill now, almost 25 years later, I cannot have screaming people around me.
I'm curious to read yours.
Sometimes you created them yourself, sometimes it just happened to you.
I start with a few of my own:
-At highschool there were a bunch of girls who ridiculed and made fun with everything I said. I still feel very uncomfortable when I talk to a group of females, even though, years later, I worked as a bartender in a brothel (should have helped me, you would say
).-When I worked as a bouncer, I had at least one fight at the weekend. One time I hit the wrong guy, and he came back with a gun and fired a few shots at me. Happily he wasn't a good shooter.
-When I had to speak at the funeral of a friend.
-I once had a girlfriend who made a fight with me almost every day. She was not the quiet typ, so she shouted like crazy, throwing things, had a big rage. This relationship lasted more then 4 years. Untill now, almost 25 years later, I cannot have screaming people around me.
I'm curious to read yours.
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Replies
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When I was like 10, I was alone at home (normal thing to do back home as we mature fairly fast). I heard somebody breaking the window glass and trying to run after me. I took off and ran out the door screaming to the neighbors home. The person who broke in took off.
Police came and did a search. They saw something on the floor during their search and gave it to my parents. My parents seemed mortified after seeing whatever was given to them. They hugged me tightly. I didn't said anything.
After a week or 2 I got the courage to ask them what was it. After discussing privately my parents decided that its best I know so I can keep better alert. They showed me a picture of me taken from my bedroom closet while I was sleeping.0 -
When I was like 10, I was alone at home (normal thing to do back home as we mature fairly fast). I heard somebody breaking the window glass and trying to run after me. I took off and ran out the door screaming to the neighbors home. The person who broke in took off.
Police came and did a search. They saw something on the floor during their search and gave it to my parents. My parents seemed mortified after seeing whatever was given to them. They hugged me tightly. I didn't said anything.
After a week or 2 I got the courage to ask them what was it. After discussing privately my parents decided that its best I know so I can keep better alert. They showed me a picture of me taken from my bedroom closet while I was sleeping.
Real talk dude??0 -
•My family was never very affectionate growing up and so to this day it is awkward for me to hug someone other than my husband and kids.
•I hit a tree while snow skiing when I was young. I cracked my head open and had over 70 stitches in my head. I'm thankful to be alive and not paralyzed!
•Having kids has really changed me as well. It has really shown me how strong I am. My husband wasn't there when I had our first child, and he deployed when our youngest was 4 months old. I prove to myself everyday not only that I am physically strong, but mentally strong as well!0 -
- The birth of my kids.
- My father passing away from alcoholism and obesity.
- Survival School.
- Every time I ever have a fallen angel (military killed in action) in the back of my airplane.1 -
When I was like 10, I was alone at home (normal thing to do back home as we mature fairly fast). I heard somebody breaking the window glass and trying to run after me. I took off and ran out the door screaming to the neighbors home. The person who broke in took off.
Police came and did a search. They saw something on the floor during their search and gave it to my parents. My parents seemed mortified after seeing whatever was given to them. They hugged me tightly. I didn't said anything.
After a week or 2 I got the courage to ask them what was it. After discussing privately my parents decided that its best I know so I can keep better alert. They showed me a picture of me taken from my bedroom closet while I was sleeping.
Creepy. As. Hell.0 -
In order of appearance:
- Getting adopted. I will never even know what my life would have been like in another family. I'm grateful for the family I am in.
- My parents' divorce. This was a change for the better, as my father was an alcoholic.
- Achieving something I had my heart and mind set on when I was 18; it showed me that I had the power to make things happen for myself, and it changed the way I saw myself.
- Losing 110 lbs. (2002-3), and everything that happened as a direct result of that.
- Getting married in 2010, and every day I've spent in that happy marriage. I feel extremely lucky that I found my match and I don't take a single day of it for granted.
- Committing to MFP, because it will actually extend my life. Meeting the people I've connected with here, hearing their stories, cheering them on, and receiving support has made a profound difference in my own approach to getting and staying healthy.
ETA: The catalyst for joining MFP: I lost a friend and mentor to cancer. While he was fighting it, he went vegan as part of his regimen. Seeing him changing his diet and his lifestyle so radically in an attempt to live just a little longer so he could see his only daughter graduate college was a major call to action for me. I decided that I'd join him in his attempt to live longer and healthier. I joined MFP just a few weeks before he died; In ten days it will be a solid year for me.
True Story.2 -
- Being betrayed by my exhusband and finding out about all of his affairs during our marriage.
- Losing 130 pounds
- The birth of my 3 children
- Kicking breast cancers *kitten*7 -
- Getting cheated on. It completely changed my perspective on relationships and how to treat another person. I am much more honest and upfront with guys now. I also try to treat guys how I would want to be treated, whereas beforehand, I was a player and kind of selfish in that respect.
- Being a loser in highschool. I was a huge outcast and was very awkward looking and introverted. Now I am a confident, bubbly woman and I make friends very easily. But I always remember what it was like to be bullied, feel like no one took me seriously because I wasn't 'pretty', and felt alone. So when I spot someone who is a bit of a loner or shy, I instantly help them out and click with them. It's why personality is what makes a man attractive to me 0 -
- The birth of my kids.
- My father passing away from alcoholism and obesity.
- Survival School.
- Every time I ever have a fallen angel (military killed in action) in the back of my airplane.
This is what I was looking for. The influences on a person by life and dead. Going behind your limits. RESPECT0 -
Death of a sibling
Going through divorce
Being loved again (for a short while, so at least I know it's possible)0 -
I finally got the courage to go back to school to get my Bachelors after sitting on a worthless AA degree for 25 years. Two dean's lists later I am slated to graduate in Spring. I didn't have a "job" in mind, as in "What are you going to do with it?" (Uhhh, hand it on my wall and admire it?") But now I know I want to write grants and have two specific projects in mind.
But going to school has changed me deeply. I found my self-esteem, and now the courage to cut loose from a really co-dependent relationship. After 5 weeks I finally feel strong enough to keep it at the now we.re just old friends (yawn...) and am free from that obsession which was standing between me and physical and mental health. He is sitting on his butt still, while I am walking five miles a day! Good for me!
But the one change was sooo hard. It took me a year to make the decision to go to school, and I am so glad I did. It took me half a summer of once again NEVER DOING ANYTHING with my former partner, and one day after we had been up for a while, I went to the living room where he was lying on the couch, had a two minute convo about how I couldn't spend one more day of doing nothing when the summer was so beautiful, packed up my toothbrush and shampoo and went home. Haven't been back since.0 -
Birth of my daughter.
Death of my Dad.
Death of my Husband after 31 years together. Its been 4 years and I still miss him so much.2 -
The death of my nephew, a young marine on his second tour of Iraq. My brother asked me to pipe (bagpipe) for his service. That was incredibly difficult to get through, but I know it was important for my brother. To this day, every time I pipe the Marine Corps Hymn, I think of my nephew. By my bed, I still have a joke book I was going to mail to him so that he could have some entertainment while he was deployed. Never had the chance. Since his loss, I've found that it has changed what I read. I used to enjoy some various adventure books but now I just have no interest in the ones that have a plot which includes some middle eastern terrorist spin. Just too close to reality.
9-11. I remember having such strong afterwards that I should join the military, but I was too old already for consideration.
I think, like others here, the deaths of friends and family has underscored for me the uncertainty and unpredictability of life. It has, however, motivated me to go ahead and try things in life as soon as I can, and perhaps with more conviction than I would have had otherwise, rather than just sitting back and having a more "one of these days" approach. I've certainly made some bad decisions, and I'm sure will make more, but I at least want to experience what life has to offer.0 -
I was bullied incessantly in elementary school. Finally, I discovered my courage and kicked the *kitten* out of the ringleader.. during the fight.. everyone was cheering for me. . It was surreal. . The entire experience and the redemption of the fight has stayed with me ever since.
My marriage and subsequent divorce parallel the first story. I was bullied and trodden upon until I couldn't take it anymore. Again, I found my courage and did what I had to do. I took my son and fought tooth and nail for him. . and I won again.
I'm by no means a confrontational man. I avoid conflict and drama. However, I am comforted by the knowledge that when push comes to shove, I can fight and I can win.1 -
9-11 ~ I saw it on the tv and was upset. driving to take my son to the sitters I heard more on the radio and was shaking. I decided to take him with me to work. the principal would have to deal with it. it felt like a message that more bad was going to happen... 6 months later my husband went to Heaven...0
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*having my mother tell me that i would have a hard time finding a husband or getting a job if i continued to be overweight and have bad skin
*having 4 family members die of cancer within only a few years of each other
*finding out at 19yrs old that my mom gave up a son she had when she was 17, then meeting my half brother shortly after that
*The first time I had to call an ambulance for one of my dad's seizures. (i have never been so scared in all my life)
*Being hit by an SVU while walking across a cross walk1 -
- Being betrayed by my exhusband and finding out about all of his affairs during our marriage.
- Losing 130 pounds
- The birth of my 3 children
- Kicking breast cancers *kitten*
YOU are showing life who's the boss!!0 -
•My family was never very affectionate growing up and so to this day it is awkward for me to hug someone other than my husband and kids.
Same situation but I am the opposite now. I want to hug ERR'RRYBODY!
My family was all kinds of fvcked up, though, so I just tried to make the best of it.0 -
*Losing my father at a tender age (I was 3 - he was killed in a car accident), and growing up with 7 siblings in a house where Mom ruled............but never really understanding it until I had kids of my own.
*Marrying the first man I had sex with, because I was Catholic, and that's what you DID.
*Divorcing said man after a very long, disastrous marriage......and gaining freedom, independence, HAPPINESS!
*Getting my driver's license at the age of 45!!! They'll have to peel that steering wheel from my cold, dead hands now :noway:3 -
As a child and teen my world was full of crazy. My "normal" involved drunk adults, adults on drugs, sexual harassment by boys at school (6th grade on), my parents were divorced and busy dating and partying instead of parenting. My mom's boyfriends would offer me drugs or alcohol to go away. My dad's girlfriends would mostly just wish I never existed at all. I was a homeless teen twice; first when I was 13 years old and again when I was 17 years old. My parents had turned me out both times "for my own good."
Somehow I managed to graduate high school. Somehow I managed to get a full time job at a McDonald's. Somehow I managed to support myself financially at the age of 18 in my own apartment. Then came the string of abusive boyfriends. And abusive friends in general. Then I married a man who was physically and mentally abusive. I mostly made these decisions because it was what my world was made of. This was how the whole world looked to me, and I figured that was just my lot in life.
Then one night, my abusive husband was being abusive as was typical of us. I just wanted to get out of the line of fire. I was sitting in my car, with my seat belt on as he repeatedly punched me in the mouth while alternately attempting to drag me from the car (the seat belt held me in). I stopped crying and pleading for mercy (as this is what I always did), removed the seat belt and got out of the car myself. I stood up straight and said "no." He slapped me with the back of his hand while screaming insults at me. I stood my ground and said, "no more."
A switch in my head had turned on that night. I suddenly knew that I was not deserving of abuse. I did not leave my husband that day, as I had no where to go. I did spend the night on the streets, just to give him a scare. I came back home at dawn, and the ritual of "Oh baby, please forgive me" began. I did forgive him, but I was also plotting my escape as well.
It took me 9 months to save up enough money to leave. I also had to open my own bank accounts, get some credit cards in my name and make sure that all joint accounts were free of my name before leaving. I moved out while he was at work one day. The next time I saw him was in divorce court three years later.
I don't know what happened that night. What I do know is that my life has been amazing ever since. I'm a completely different person now. And life is looking better and better all the time.9 -
Sleeping with that hooker in Amsterdam, regular everyday women just don't do those things.0
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*Having to live with a brother who was diagnosed as schizo affective when he was 15,the stuff I had to go through
*Becoming an Atheist
* Finally breaking free from my family's control when I was 24
* Having to fit experiences dealing with men,sex and friendships in a space of a couple of years after breaking free
* Having my kids,best thing that ever happened to me,changed my whole outlook on life and wanting to be a better person
There was some other things that way too private to put on here,but I look at every experience as a lesson to teach my girls to try and save them some pain in later years.2 -
Brother passed away
My first and only love cheated on me. Met him when I was 17. First man I ever dated, slept with, even kissed.
Becoming a single mother at 23....0 -
My 3 kids.
All 3 of them fall somewhere on the autism spectrum. Two of them are my biological kids and one is a foster son that we adopted. They are all so different and are completely amazing. They've taught me to see each person for who he or she is and to appreciate even the smallest of steps when reaching for a goal.0 -
Anytime I hang out with my niece, it always really changes me...always for the better. I remember the joys and how simply things were and I try to get that back in my life every day as an adult.
My journey over the last 15-16 months. Losing weight, changing my life, doing it for me, making it an actually lifestyle change, getting my head together and straight (had major survivors guilt from car accident that killed my father when I was 9 and I lived - obviously because I'm typing this or that'd be kinda creepy...) With the weight journey, and the emotional journey and pulling myself out of a deep 5-10 year depression...and finally realizing just how strong, awesome and kickass I am...and just how much I deserve this...0 -
Moving half way across the country in middle school was rough. From middle school until about my junior year of high school I was made fun of A LOT. To this day I still find it hard to accept compliments without thinking that there is sarcasm or some kind of joke involved.
Spending a semester abroad. Proved to myself that I could be independent! I have an identical twin so I hadn't had many opportunities to be on my own.
Coming to terms with the fact that my parents and brother are addicts. I always knew, but never knew how much it bothered me until I started an internship in a treatment center. I've now worked there as a counselor for three years and am completely okay with my upbringing even if it wasn't ideal in the eyes of others, I've done the best I could with what I had and I like how I am today.0 -
When I was like 10, I was alone at home (normal thing to do back home as we mature fairly fast). I heard somebody breaking the window glass and trying to run after me. I took off and ran out the door screaming to the neighbors home. The person who broke in took off.
Police came and did a search. They saw something on the floor during their search and gave it to my parents. My parents seemed mortified after seeing whatever was given to them. They hugged me tightly. I didn't said anything.
After a week or 2 I got the courage to ask them what was it. After discussing privately my parents decided that its best I know so I can keep better alert. They showed me a picture of me taken from my bedroom closet while I was sleeping.
I just got the shivers.0 -
I was horribly bullied by almost everyone in my class but usually the same 4 boys. I learned early that telling the teacher doesn't matter after I was told that "nobody likes a tattletale."
It has been quite a few years now since I have seen any of them but I am still angry about it and would have no hesitation if I had the chance to push them in front of a car.0 -
I too hold resentments to mainly the girls that were terrible to me. The girl that asked to sign my year boom and then wrote terrible nasty things every page. The that girl spit on me once for having an Adidas shirt from shopko. Who ever it was that taped signs to my locker.
I see one them fairly often as she works at a gas station I go to. She now compliments my shoes or asks questions like she cares and I'm always a total jerk to her. Her life also appears to be going nowhere, which pleases me.2 -
LOL good for you
Mine took turns blowing in my hair (to this day I still don't know wtf was so funny about it), making farting noises behind me, flicking boogers at me. A couple girls called me "bush wolf" because I was not allowed to get a hair straightener.
Not that I approve but I can see why high school violence happens. Clearly the teachers are seeing this but they still choose to sit these boys behind me in every damn class.0
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