Experiences that really, deeply changed you

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  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
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    Telling my mom I'd been sexually abused by my dad (I was six when I told) and having her tell me I'd dreamed it.

    Being 5'11", skinny as a board and having boobs in fourth grade made me a huge target. I was taller tha most of the teachers and was bullied constantly.

    Learning martial arts gave me a different attitude about life.

    Standing up to my first husband, who was very abusive. Having a lightbulb moment while he was beating me and turning mentally away so that I was able to break free from the "love" and go to the police, move out with my kids and start a new life alone. Facing that creep in court and walking away when he wanted me back.

    Coming out about the sexual abuse to my family. Standing up for myself to those who praised my dad. Allowing myself to be relieved when he died, instead of faking grief. Distancing myself from my sister, who said I had lied. Finding out that my aunt (who is close to my age) had been abused by him, too and helping her get some closure.

    Putting my face in the water this past April and teaching myself how to breathe and swim properly has been one of the most thrilling things for me, because it's a huge fear that I've overcome after my dad tried to drown me when he was drunk, when I was four. Go me!

    Deciding to stay with my second husband after he cheated on me for three years. I'm not saying it was the right decision, but it's changed me. I value my own needs more and I put myself first, because I'm tired of waiting for someone else to be good to me. I love me and that's what matters. But honestly, the longer I'm married to him, the more I see that it's just a matter of ime before I'm single again. He might be faithful now, but my heart has turned away.

    I'm still battling on a lot of fronts daily.
  • griff7809
    griff7809 Posts: 611 Member
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    - Survival School.

    SERE? Where'd you go?

    Fairchild.
  • GymPoet
    GymPoet Posts: 107 Member
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    - Every time I ever have a fallen angel (military killed in action) in the back of my airplane.

    Thank you griff7809
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
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    1. My dad was an abusive alcoholic
    2. My mother was a bitter abusive woman who never wanted kids (she had nine).
    3. I was assaulted by a customer while working
    4. Husband betrayed me.

    Those are the biggies...
  • jdm_taco
    jdm_taco Posts: 999 Member
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    -brother dying @ 30

    -losing weight

    -in a bar that got robbed and having a gun pointed at me

    -seeing someone get shot in the face during a fight
  • tonafoto
    tonafoto Posts: 246 Member
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    Getting arrested in Santiago, Dominican Republic, because I didn't have my papers with me.
    Brought to a big, grey building in the city, and beeing interragated by a beautiful female DA, and 5 detectives with shoulderholsters and big guns.
    Pay a 500 pesos fine, and getting out undamaged.
    Later heard from a lot of people that I was the first to come out without a scratch. Lucky, lucky me.
  • Beckboo0912
    Beckboo0912 Posts: 447 Member
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    All are amazing!

    Growing up a Jehovah's Witness...I was one of those, going to people's doors and knocking, all of it and I don't regret it and respect anyone who is one, knocking on people's door takes courage.

    Deciding not to be a Jehovah's Witness anymore, realizing it wasn't for me, I didn't like that they thought they could tell me u shouldn't talk to my brother anymore and things like that.

    Becoming a mother, I love my son more then anything and I want what's best for him all the time.

    Being with my sons father, it helped me realize whats important in life and what I ultimately want when I want another relationship.

    Being the sol parent for my son, it has taught me so much I can't even put it all in words. And grateful that I have such an amazing kid but sad at the same time because I feel every kid should have two parents, sometimes I can't help but wonder what I did wrong.
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
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    - The birth of my kids.

    - My father passing away from alcoholism and obesity.

    - Survival School.

    - Every time I ever have a fallen angel (military killed in action) in the back of my airplane.

    Thank you so much for your service and BEING an angel to our fallen angels!

    Kat(retired Army wife)
  • loveanddestroyx
    loveanddestroyx Posts: 185 Member
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    Growing up in a family that is never affectionate, never shows emotion. When I feel certain emotions I'm not sure how to act.

    Having a niece with Down's Syndrome. She's changed my view on life, she's so beautiful and so strong to have survived the surgeries she has had. It's brought my sister and I closer. It's also changed the way I see children with Down's.

    That's all I can really think of.
  • CheekyBrahette
    CheekyBrahette Posts: 441 Member
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    The birth of my daughter, who has special needs. She is the child I was meant to have, and I'm very blessed to have her. :heart:
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
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    Losing my best friend and the love of my life.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
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    psychedelics and music
  • Kitship
    Kitship Posts: 579 Member
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    Watching hopelessly as my brother got addicted to over-the-counter drugs (cough syrup, allergy meds, etc). My whole high school life was just hoping he wouldn't OD. An ambulance was called at least 4 or 5 times in the span of 3 years because he was so f*cked up that he couldn't even stand up. At one point he drank a whole bottle of cough syrup and took 18 benadryll. That time in my family's life changed all of us.
  • jdm_taco
    jdm_taco Posts: 999 Member
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    psychedelics and music


    hell yea!!! :laugh:
  • nino07110922
    nino07110922 Posts: 2,149
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    Breaking my tailbone and vertibrae in January 2013 and being told by my doc that I might have to deal with pain and, possible a cane, for the rest of my life. No way....
  • skinnymalinkyscot
    skinnymalinkyscot Posts: 174 Member
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    Having petty crooks for parents, my father was in and out of prison

    spending months on the run , criss crossing the country , hiding form the police all before the age of 6

    my siblings and I being dumped in and out of childrens homes in ireland when my parents thought it was easier to evade the police without 4 kids in tow

    Having black holes instead of memories from my childhood

    Being mentally, emotionally & physically abused in said childrens homes

    My mother developing breast cancer when I was a baby and thinking it was a consequence of feeding me and thus blaming me for her condition due to medical ignorance

    my father turning to drink and becoming a full blown alcoholic and itinerant tramp who dossed at doss houses and the like

    being sexually abused my an older sibling

    growing up in abject poverty, perpetually hungry and dirty in slum conditions

    caring for my sick mother, running the house, shopping everything and trying to study

    my mother dying of cancer at age 16 right in the middle of my O level exams (I passed 11) and having to leave school and get a job not being able to stay on to do my A levels,

    my family home sold by older siblings to get their share of the cash and thus becoming homeless at the same time too.

    Having to live and work on my own from the age of 16 with no parents or support, while grieving for my mother

    Spending from 16 to now at 53 trying to trace my father dead or alive with no success

    My first marriage failing due to my ex husbands constant affairs and violence

    being thrown out of the house with a 6month old baby with no money

    My second child having a brain haemorrhage at birth and not expected to live

    then having a miscarriage and a stillbirth

    my youngest child being diagnosed with severe allergies, asthma and developmental delays

    and my last child a son being diagnosed autistic and hyperactive at 4, developing septic hip at 12 and nearly dying.

    My sister dying at 53 of acute alcohol poisoning which the coroner didnt know was suicide or accidental overdose

    My brother in a wheelchair due to alcoholism and peripheral neuropathy

    Being diagnosed with heart problems and being investigated in the same 2 year period for breast cancer, womb cancer and ovarian cancer but getting the all clear on all 3, at the same time as having a close relative being investigated for a serious crime

    But despite everything I believe that life is a wonderful precious thing, I am a unique human being responsible for myself, I have a rod of steel down my spine and always bounce back. I love my husband and 3 children and count myself blessed, I was also fortunate to attend an excellent school as a child and although I didnt get those A levels I returned to university as a mature student and got a BSc in Science and had a good career anyway. My 3 children , despite health problems are all excelling academically and personally and are thoroughly decent young people who are a credit to me.

    I also loved my parents, despite their flaws & even though they didnt love me very well, I forgive them anyway

    Im a firm believer in getting out of the gutter and climbing up any ladder even if the rungs are being cut from under you, Im a glass half full person. My happiness is under my control and not connected to any adverse circumstances , I am determined to be happy. I also have an unshakeable faith in God.

    Im also difficult to get along with and intensely private, I have trouble trusting people and its taken me a lot of courage to put this post up as I dont normally share this much of my past, it makes me feel emotions I cant cope with or dont want to experience anymore, it makes me vulnerable, I cant do vulnerable
  • Wrreck
    Wrreck Posts: 99 Member
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    There have been many difficult things that I have endured in life. By far the worst experience and one I am most changed by was the suicide of my oldest nephew at the age of 20. We had to go back to my home state for the funeral of one of my aunts who had succumbed to ovarian cancer after a 4 year battle. When we got there I knew something was up with him right away. He seemed way more distracted and withdrawn than normal. I found out that he was having problems with his girlfriend. At the funeral home I asked someone if they'd seen him since I hadn't caught a glimpse of him in a while. They told me that they last saw him in a separate room and when I went to look for him I found him laying on the floor in the dark with his cell phone in his hand and he was crying. I talked to him for a while and then later that evening spent more time talking to him and encouraging him to just let her go since she broke up with him for changing a tire for a friend who was a girl. She was playing games with his head, telling him she wanted to break up, then an hour later saying she didn't, then back to wanting to dump him again. Back and forth with that, then defriending him on fb yet allowing him to see her page and adding other men as friends. After spending the better part of the night trying to get him to just let it be for a while he seemed to cheer up, had a pizza and said that he was going to let her go. The next morning my husband and I were going to be heading home and we'd told my family when we would be leaving. We stay in my parents camper and when we went in the house to get coffee I noticed that my nephew wasn't sleeping on the floor in the front room. He had said that he didn't want to sleep up in his room because there were too many things up there that reminded him of his girlfriend. I mentioned it to my husband and he went into the room and found him. He'd choked himself to death with an extension cord tied to a stairway rail. I heard my husband freaking out so I went in the front room and saw him as well. So did both of my parents and another nephew, not his brother though. It still disturbs me even though it's been 4 years now. I just wish that he would've felt like reaching out to one of us and asked us to help him choose to live. Another blow was when they got his autopsy results back they put his time of death as 15 minutes before we went in the house. We were up and packing the car then. If we only would've went in and checked on him.
  • beckieboomoo
    beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
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    Wow, such amazing people on here! Trying not to cry!
  • lizziecheek
    lizziecheek Posts: 65 Member
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    Many large and small things that have happened in my life have made significant impact, good and bad.

    At an early age and many years ongoing I was abused in every way possible. I survived by developing an eating disorder (ED) at age 4 and by age 12 was a drug addict and alcoholic. My whole life I have been known for my laugh and zest for life. It took years for me to uncover the pain and work thru it.

    I went to college and nursing skill and by age 21 was working as a RN in a multiple trauma unit, I have loved being a nurse since then.

    At age 27 I experienced such a severe traumatic event that I found myself one day, alone, sitting on the floor with a 5th of bourbon in one hand, a box filled with drugs, and a huge knife in my other hand.

    Somewhere in the experience I realized that I was incapable of taking my life and that here was a fierce warrior inside of me.

    Months later in 1989 I went into treatment for my ED and drug and alcohol addiction. Since January 21, 1989 I have been clean and sober and ever since have been on a wild exciting ride.

    I lost 150 pounds and maintained it for many years. Life was good!

    I had another traumatic event, developed severe clinical depression which lasted years and returned to binging and purging. I managed my life for long periods of time without using my ED and maintained for over 15 years >a 100 pound weight loss.

    Dated a ton, loved men but due to my abuse had a lot of issues with men that I needed to deal with. I ended every relationship I was ever in, I was scared and felt claustrophobic if they got to close to me. I dealt with my issues, had a lot of skinned knees along the way but finally in 2004 fell in love for the first time. I loved being in love and loved! It was the greatest experience for me. After months of dating we both shared we were recovering drug addicts. The relationship was strong and we both were changing as we continued to face and grow.

    7 years ago the one I loved died of heroin a OD. We had split up for a while, and 2 weeks before his death we were trying to get back together. I had no idea he was using heroin. I was devastated and very angry, The anger kept me going.

    About a year later I developed severe clinical depression once again, gained >100 pounds in a very short time and withdrew from life. I stopped dating, I isolated from my friends and despite seeking treatment for depression immediately nothing helped. I continued to work, but there were times that I was incapable of getting out of bed or able to stop crying.

    A year ago I finally found medication that works, I continued to deal with my issues and today I am finally ready to move on and resume living a life worth living. Food addiction is the last addiction to let go of, this has been the hardest for me however now I am ready to kick a**, embrace my life once again and can't wait to see what my future holds for me!

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