Do you need a kick in the butt or a pat on the back?

feelin_gr_8
feelin_gr_8 Posts: 308 Member
in Motivation and Support
I realized that some remarks some people on here are offensive to me....life right? I realized that we're all a little different in what motivation we need. Are you the kind of person that needs someone to tell you "get off the couch fatty!" or the kind that needs a helping hand and an "anything is better than nothing, keep going" poster?

I know I'm the latter. I just got back from 4.5 hours of hiking my 100+ pounds obese body up and down a mountain with my husband and he knows I would have slapped him if he had said "keep going, push yourself harder!". He was a lifesaver by helping me in tough spots and saying he was proud of me :) I don't make any assumptions as to why some of you need to lose weight, but I know I'm an emotional eater and grew up described as "tender hearted".

What about you?

Replies

  • Samthefrog
    Samthefrog Posts: 77 Member
    Pat on the back!!!! I've been kicked in the butt all my life and it hasn't helped one bit. I realize that unfortunately, I have no one in my life to give me that pat on the back. Maybe myself at the moment. Hopefully I can find some back-patters here!!
    :smile:
  • redladywitch
    redladywitch Posts: 799 Member
    Neither one. I am counting on me to keep going. If someone has a comment, whatever that may be, then I take it into consideration. If it suits me at the time, I keep it....if it doesn't suit me, then I shrug my shoulders, let it roll off my back and keep going.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Neither
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Neither
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
    I'm more of a I do this for me and everyone else is pretty much just white noise.

    Never really made any significant changes in my life unless I was my motivation.
  • sevenandthirteen
    sevenandthirteen Posts: 13 Member
    Competitive support! I need to rethink my last topic :/
  • SkinnyBubbaGaar
    SkinnyBubbaGaar Posts: 389 Member
    Is there a third option for preferring a pat on the butt?
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I'm self motivated. But, it is nice to know that I have my husband's support so that I can take off for an hour or an hour and a half and go to the gym. And it feels good when he grabs my butt and tells me he loves my muscles.
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
    Is there a third option for preferring a pat on the butt?
    Smart guy.
  • failingforward
    failingforward Posts: 3
    I like the kick in the butt approach personally.

    My group of friends that are interested in staying in shape have this frequent "banter" attitude. It gets competitive but it's always friendly. Plus when you're in a group of people bettering themselves, you always have someone raising the bar and others trying to catch up. Then you are the one trying to raise the bar.

    That has always been my best motivation.
  • StonedHamster
    StonedHamster Posts: 1 Member
    Neither. Kick in the butt depresses and demotivates me. Pat on the back feels patronizing. I like facts. Without opinions. So just looking at my progress and then determining where and what changes I need to make.
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    On mfp, neither any more, thus I no longer finish my diary or have my weight loss posted to my wall.

    However, when actually involved in an activity, either can work for me. My backhand improved when I had one session with a totally positive coach, but I enjoy sadistic undertones from coaches too:blushing:
  • aquarabbit
    aquarabbit Posts: 1,622 Member
    Kick in the butt when I'm talking to myself, pat on the back when other people are talking to me. I feel like I have to be a bit firmer with myself to keep on track and the encouragement from others helps me to keep that enthusiasm to not make excuses or allow myself to quite. So a bit of both for me!
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    I want trainers to kick my butt and friends to pat me on the back.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    In the neither category. I do like to cheer others on, and receive congrats, but when it comes to my lifestyle, I am committed. I do enjoy being on the journey together with the MFP community. But I do this for myself.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Pat on the back - or at least a "You can do this, just make a better choice today." I'm with the other gal who says she's been kicked in the butt all her life - I've found kindness is a much better support for me than brusqueness.
  • K_Serz
    K_Serz Posts: 1,299 Member
    I need a kick in the face please.

    1262869002_kick-in-the-face-fail.gif


    Thank you
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    I'm self motivated, but I'd by lying if I didn't say that I need one or the other at times.

    Yea, this isn't easy, but you have to want it and work hard for it.

    Nice hike BTW. Now do that more! :wink:
  • da_bears10089
    da_bears10089 Posts: 1,791 Member
    I'm disciplined so i don't really need someone to "motivate" me, but I respond to a kick in the butt better than a pat on the back. If someone tells me i can't do something, i think... you just wait, i'll show your @ss!
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    I think it is very possible to give someone a "kick in the butt" without the unnecessary name-calling.
  • jesstyler15
    jesstyler15 Posts: 140
    I'm more of the pat on the back. When I get a compliment I think great if what I'm doing is working I can probably do more. But when I get a kick in the butt I just want to eat a cheeseburger...
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Pat on the back - or at least a "You can do this, just make a better choice today." I'm with the other gal who says she's been kicked in the butt all her life - I've found kindness is a much better support for me than brusqueness.

    Yeah, I relate to this.

    And when I was in college most of the dance teachers were very much the kick in the butt types. There were a lot of dancers that needed a kick in the butt (because they had a big ego). But, they knew I was not one that needed that. I had low self-esteem and was a hard worker. So, they supported me because I was open to all criticism and would listen and improve. I didn't think I knew it all, so I didn't need a kick in the butt.
  • feelin_gr_8
    feelin_gr_8 Posts: 308 Member
    I suppose I can see the motivation in competition. I don't know that I'll be there, but I know I have some friends back home (going back today after 5 weeks out of town) that we'll be getting together for workouts, would be awesome to do a biggest loser between us ;) Some people here say that they are neither a kick in the butt or pat on the back kind of person, I think it applies to self-talk and motivation too, even if no one else is there for your weight loss journey. I would think we all need some motivation to ourselves to keep going, unless you've been living healthy long enough that it's become habit I suppose.

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