Anyone else gotten grief for losing weight?

Possible_Infinity
Possible_Infinity Posts: 83 Member
in Motivation and Support
Blood Sweat and Tears... This has been an amazing journey to reclaim my fitness


Has anyone gotten grief or back handed compliments for their weight loss? :noway: :noway: :noway:



"Your changing, not the same person, you should take a break, go a little slower, etc...."
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Replies

  • emmalouc93
    emmalouc93 Posts: 328 Member
    From heavier friends ; ' You don't need to lose weight, you weren't as fat as me'

    That my be so, but 'not as fat as me' is still fat!
  • vet272
    vet272 Posts: 183
    My other half says things like
    It won't make you young again
    Or
    You're going to look scrawny
    Or
    You're no fun anymore

    Face - bothered? Lol
  • FitCurlysue
    FitCurlysue Posts: 23 Member
    My own mother says I go to the gym too much. I go 5-6 days a week and I'm only there about an hour. It's not like I'm spending three hours each day and letting other parts of my life slack. I also have a significant amount of weight to lose (100+) so going 3 days a week (I see that more as a maintaining schedule) is not an option if I want to shed this weight in a good deal of time--but still going about it the healthy way.

    Drives me crazy she says this but when I used to complain that I had gained some weight she'd tell me I needed to workout more! WTH!
  • bobf279
    bobf279 Posts: 342 Member
    Yes, well not so much grief as a lack of understanding why I have worked/am working hard to lose weight and get fitter
  • cindy326
    cindy326 Posts: 70 Member
    I have heard just about everything...my co-workers think im obsessed. They always say things like "go ahead and treat yourself" and that I gave up one addiction (smoking) for another. I exercise too much. Now im too skinny..WTH BLAH BLAH BLAH...But I do treat myself, just not with the crap they eat. I giggle on the inside as they stuff their faces. My journey is for ME.
  • EvilFeevil
    EvilFeevil Posts: 95 Member
    No and it amazes me that people can be so insensitive and unsupportive. Perhaps it's envy?
  • Possible_Infinity
    Possible_Infinity Posts: 83 Member
    I know, I work my freaking *kitten* off!

    It times its borderline suffering... I've been hurt bad, I've been hungry, I've hardly ever eaten my exercise calories. I'm up out the door at 6am most week days.


    Yes, well not so much grief as a lack of understanding why I have worked/am working hard to lose weight and get fitter
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
    My friends that are on the heavier side keep telling me I'm "wasting away to nothing" and it really ticks me off...if I WAS, I would not be trying so hard to lose this last 20 freakin' pounds!!!!
  • dgbrash2
    dgbrash2 Posts: 16 Member
    How about this: A few weeks ago, my wife saw me getting dressed in the bedroom, and said, "We don't have the money to buy you a new wardrobe!!", noting how baggy my pants were. [Any way you slice it, a compliment is a compliment, right?!

    Or this: A few nights ago, as we were standing in the kitchen cleaning up after supper, my oldest daughter (24) looked at me and said, "Daddy, you don't have a belly any more." I smiled, and said, "NOPE!!"
  • Possible_Infinity
    Possible_Infinity Posts: 83 Member
    I have to say for the most part they have been so supportive, but it really stings when you get these low blows.


    I'll just use it for fuel anyway…:drinker: :drinker:


    More than anything I want to defuse it and not let it drive in distance? These are important people!
  • khadijak17
    khadijak17 Posts: 393 Member
    i get it all the time a few that really wind me up:

    1) your ill

    2) you've lost weight now why dont u just eat?

    3) your going to be tube fed if you carry on counting calories

    4) what are you now? your daughters jean size??

    Really gets to me and i have to explain i need to carry on counting wether it be losing or maintaining! people just have no idea!!
  • clarebailey355
    clarebailey355 Posts: 113 Member
    I get sick of constantly having to defend myself for not eating all the junk that's always sitting around in the office (cake, crisps, doughnuts etc) and sticking to healthy snacks. I figure people do it to try and make themselves feel better about eating stuff they know they shouldn't!
  • tryingtoshed
    tryingtoshed Posts: 135 Member
    I get sick of constantly having to defend myself for not eating all the junk that's always sitting around in the office (cake, crisps, doughnuts etc) and sticking to healthy snacks. I figure people do it to try and make themselves feel better about eating stuff they know they shouldn't!

    ^this
  • afrodan
    afrodan Posts: 4
    Im really lucky that my core group of friends have really supported me with my weight loss. That all stems from the fact that i wrote them a massive email when I properly started explaining what I was doing, why i wasnt eating junk food and being honest about how bad I feel about the way i look and that i darent even go swimming even though i love it.

    On the flip side though I get plenty of other friends saying im overdoing it or Im addicted and need to slow down.... DAMN RIGHT IM ADDICTED! Im loosing weight, getting in shape and feel the best ive ever felt before.
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,519 Member
    I went from "being fat" to "having an eating disorder." Seriously, make up your minds! Do you want me to be fat or skinny?

    I think when you shun food that others are eating...it can be interpreted as "judging their choices." And you can encounter defensive attitudes when you were being completely non-judgmental of their choices. I have to admit that when people say things like: "you should eat this," "just try it," or "just live a little..." I usually respond with: "I don't want to eat that s***." Ok soooo, that might sound judge-y, but seriously, I don't WANT to eat it.
  • mrk1185
    mrk1185 Posts: 44 Member
    My grandmother has been telling other relatives that I'm anorexic. The same woman told me I looked chubby on my wedding day (admittedly, I did.)

    Forget the haters. Do this stuff for yourself.
  • rjmudlax13
    rjmudlax13 Posts: 900 Member
    Lol...it's funny the things I hear. A lot of people tell me how I'm going to hurt myself from exercising too much. One morbidly obese woman said that I shouldn't run so much because she read an article that it can be bad for my heard...lol!

    The key is you have to honestly be doing it for yourself, then all the bs becomes charming little background noise. :smile:

    ETA: Typo
  • AllyCatXandi
    AllyCatXandi Posts: 329 Member
    Yep, and for some reason people think I'm still doing it despite a year of maintaining :grumble:

    However, those who have never known me as the chubby one tend not to make such comments. The food I choose to eat is just seen as the food I want to eat (which it is - and why should I have to apologise when I'm the one eating it anyway?), exercise is viewed as a normal part of my life (it always was, but when you're bigger it tends to be assumed otherwise), and the size I am is just the size I am. Nothing more.

    There are some old friends I've fallen out of contact with though, quite simply because no one wants to spend time with someone who is constantly telling them how terrible they look. Or who is constantly eyeballing and commenting upon every mouthful you take. I've tried to be patient, to allow them to get used to what I look like now, but at the end of the day it's **** I don't need and I'm not going to stand for it.
  • jackieg218
    jackieg218 Posts: 95 Member
    I had a customer tell me " you need to stop losing weight, you look old now" or another one told me " you have no butt and boobs, you should stop losing weight, you don't want to look like a boy do you" I was like WTF?!?! I have 36d bra ( yes they are saggy as hell right now from the weight loss, but she couldn't see that... I have great bras... And I am 42... I AM old lmao... Oh and for the record... I have never had a butt to lose!

    Please feel so free to share thoughts with out thinking... It's just freaking rude! Lol
  • sleepyotter
    sleepyotter Posts: 76 Member
    My parents haven't seen me since I dropped two or three pant sizes, but my coworkers gave me a lot of "Don't lose anymore weight," and "You're too skinny," and "There's a truck outside selling hamburgers--you should go get a couple." Then I bought a pair of pants and a couple shirts that fit my new self and they stopped saying anything. If you're still wearing your old clothes, all they see is how baggy your stuff looks on you and they translate that into gauntness, for some reason.
  • Lovelovesme
    Lovelovesme Posts: 37 Member
    Bad friends are like bad food, you don't have to cut them out completely, but make the dose you have of them alot less :flowerforyou:
  • notworthstalking
    notworthstalking Posts: 531 Member
    Not too much. I was told I didn't need to lose anymore, which was true, but I explained I was having trouble figuring out how much too eat. To roughly maintain , my work day calories are around 3000 . So yeah, more than most. On Friday a lady actually noticed lol. Yes, I have only been losing since January. Lol. She agreed she isn't that observant haha. She had however noticed, what I eat and that I am not starving myself.

    My also said 'you might need to start eating more normally for a while' . Again he doesn't see me eat, so doesn't know, but was happy with what I told him I eat. The last time I was at my parents, he picked me a heap of fresh lettuce and baby spinach (we can't grow much at our flat) and a dozen eggs. I thought that was pretty kind.
  • gracielynn1011
    gracielynn1011 Posts: 726 Member
    Just today, my father in law's cousin came by to visit. (Random, we hardly see them). He said it looked like I lost 50 lb. I told him I definitely hadn't lost that much, but have been eating healthier. He said "why do you want to lose weight for? You looked fine before, are you gonna look for a new man now?"

    Um, no. I like the man I have just fine, I definitely think I'll keep him. But there's nothing wrong with being the best me I can be.
  • Tommeedarko
    Tommeedarko Posts: 3 Member
    I havent had a lot of negativity, but it is difficult when you are told to take a break. It always feels like any direction then weight loss is the wrong direction. I just figure, that i am doing this to better my health and live long enough to see my kids get old. I guess deep down inside, i just laugh a little, and let them say what they want.
  • lady6starlight
    lady6starlight Posts: 127 Member
    Most of my friends have been ultra supportive. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has shown a fondness for bigger women, bigger than me! Ugh.
  • mmipanda
    mmipanda Posts: 351 Member
    I just get things like 'Go on, have some cake! Your wedding is ages away!'


    I'm not losing weight for my wedding >:(
  • maria_b22
    maria_b22 Posts: 45
    Yes, mostly from my aunt! 'oh we won't recognise you at this rate' and 'don't go losing anymore or you'll look ill' - I still have at least another stone/stone and half to go!
    A couple of friends/colleagues have mad backhanded comments but I've worked bloody hard to get to where i have and i wish they would just be happy for me! :ohwell:
  • Jenn_lynn330
    Jenn_lynn330 Posts: 19
    MY future Mother in law
    UUUGGGGHHHHH

    her- "You've been working out?"
    Me- *proudly* YES!
    her- " Oh it not noticeable"

    REALLY!?
  • Zerste
    Zerste Posts: 1
    I usually just respond with something along the lines of "I don't believe I asked your opinion". Or if you really want them to piss off with it permanently, just criticize them, and when they get offended, follow it up with "Don't like unsolicited opinions? Me neither."

    Edit: I have actually gotten some pretty good support from the girlfriend though. Just the other day a friend of hers said "You should stop losing weight, you're getting too skinny" (Note: I was planning on losing literally 2 more lbs before attempting to put on more muscle mass), to which I replied "I actually agree, but you should see me with my shirt off!" to which my girlfriend followed up "Yeah he looks good! Actually, better than good, pretty damn great!" So that's always nice.
  • Whiskybelly
    Whiskybelly Posts: 197 Member
    "Man..... I'm only asking this as a friend. But, seriously; are you starving yourself?"

    Obviously 'starving yourself' is the only way to lose weight............

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