When will I be done?
barefoot_shuffler
Posts: 61
I have spent the last 3 days recovering and coming back from a 4 day junk food binge. We went to the county fair where I indulged in greasy, delicious fair fries and a funnel cake for dinner....then topped that off with a hot fudge sundae for dessert!!! Heavenly!!!
Then......we spent the next two days at a water park where I enjoyed pizza, more greasy fries, ice cream, etc.
Then....just for kicks....I spent the whole next day stuffing my face with cookies, ice cream, donuts, and the like.
In those 4 days I went from 149lbs to 153lbs.
In all honesty, I consider myself lucky that 4lbs was ALL I gained!!
3 days later, fully back on track, I am thankfully down to 150. Phew!!!
But.....I have been thinking a lot lately.....
This whole "getting healthy/losing weight" thing is exhausting!!! Like being on a roller coaster.....up, down, up, down, up, down.....getting nauseous.....up, down, up, down......please stop this ride.....it's not so fun anymore!!
Frustrated with my lack of self control to fight these wild food cravings, I sat down with My Self and had a heart-to-heart.....here's how it went:
Me: "Hey Self......"
Self: "Yes?...."
Me: "How's it goin'?"
Self: "Fine, and you?"
Me: "Not so well.....I'm tired of this whole thing, to be honest. I am tired of fighting every single day....tired of doing well just to do terrible for a day or two...or three....or four....and then have to fight to get back on track."
Self: "I see"
Me: "Let me ask you something, when will I be done with this?! Seriously! I want to know what the plan is....I need a date, or something.... I need a point in time when I will be able to just sail along, like I used to. I want to know when I won't be all-consumed with what I am eating, how much exercise I've gotten, how many calories I burned, how high my heart rate gets when I shuffle. Please! Tell me! When will I be done?!"
Self: "Hmmmmm....yes, I sense your frustration and your exhaustion. You have struggled for almost 5 months now...but you have done well. Let me see if I can give you a light at the end of your tunnel. Let me whip out my handy-dandy "When Will I be Done" formula and get you a date to mark on your calendar......"
Me: "Oh thank you!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!"
I sat back...relieved. Thank God!! I will have a date to look forward to! It was like seeing the finish line at the end of a race and getting that second wind!!
My Self got her window marker out and got right to work on the formula!!
I waited, quite impatiently for the answer.....
My Self worked diligently and enthusiastically on the formula. She worked and re-worked the numbers.....my heart pounded nervously and I leaned forward in my seat.......C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!!! I thought impatiently.
Self: (mumbling quietly to herself) "......if we take the maximum heart rate and divide it by Pi.......and the take the calories in a gallon of ice cream and add that to pie.......and take the square root of Mu and subtract that from Moo........we need to consider the denominator and make it the numerator......your BMR divided by your BMI brought to the 4th power.....then we take your BMW to the BMV......."
Me: "C'mon already!!!"
(I could hardly control my excitement!)
Self: "I got it!!!!!! Ready?"
Me: "Yes!!! When?!" I sat anxiously with my calendar and pencil ready to mark that glorious date....
Self: "Ok....here it is......"
Me: (Gnawing nervously on the pencil.....)
Self: "Never"
Me: (Thumbing through the calendar.....looking.....mumbling.....) "Never..."
Then it hit me what My Self had just said....I looked up at her stunningly beautiful alien-like face.....
Me: "Wait.....never?"
Self: "Never"
Me: "What?! Never?!?!
Self: (nodding) "Mmm-hmmm"
Me: "What do you mean...."never"? "
Self: I mean never....nunca.....non-stop....evermore.....this will not end as long as you live.....that is what I mean."
I was ticked!!!! Never?! How could this be?!
Me: "There must be some kind of mistake!!!" I protested. "Maybe your formula is flawed!! Look here....I don't even own a BMW!!!!! You have to re-work the formula!!"
Patiently, My Self continued......
Self: "Karen.....what part of "life-style change" aren't you getting?"
I pouted childishly at My Self and wiped the tear that had fallen from my eye.....
Me: "I'm just so tired of this!! It isn't getting easier!! I want it to be effortless, but it is a fight every day!!"..........so stupid!!"
Self: "Let me ask you something.....when you are shuffling up a hill....is it hard?"
I sat up and pulled my lower lip back in....I LOVE to talk about shuffling!!
Me: "Yes, it's hard!! Have you seen how high I can get my heart rate?! It's crazy!!"
Self: "Right....do you stop shuffling because it is hard?"
Me: "Well....sometimes I do, but I have gotten to the point where I can just push through it, as long as the hill isn't too bad. I just talk myself through it!"
Self: "What do you tell yourself when shuffling gets tough and you want to quit?"
Me: "I remind myself that the top of the hill is coming soon, and I will have a chance to recover at the top and down the other side....I tell myself that the discomfort I feel is nothing to fear and I am not injured, I am just uncomfortable.....what's your point, oh wise one?"
Self: "Are all of your shuffles good ones?"
Me: "Oh heavens no!! I have plenty of bad shuffles!! Why, just the other day I meant to shuffle 6 miles but could only do 3! I had to walk back 3 miles because I just wasn't feelin' it that day!"
Self: "Mmm-hmmmm. But would you say that you have more good shuffles than bad?"
Me: "Yes....yes I would! Especially considering where I was just 5 months ago!!"
Self: "Your journey to better health is like a shuffle. It doesn't have to be perfect! It can't be perfect! You will have your good days and your bad days....just as long as there are more good days, you will continue to move in a positive direction. Think of your "bad days" as the recovery at the top of the hill. A chance to just relax and enjoy the moment. Think of those days as your "recharge days"....not "failures", because they are not. They are your moment to enjoy your life, to relax and not think about calories and exercise. You "binged" on those foods because you were enjoying the moment with your family....like you should be doing!!! Your daily fight with your food addiction is like shuffling up those hills....sure it is uncomfortable, but not impossible! Keep talking yourself through it, and it will become easier. You have improved tremendously! Look at how far you've come! 5 months ago, EVERY day was a free-for-all! Now, it's just once in a while....and you are shuffling so much now!"
I considered these words for a moment.
Me: "Hmmm..... I guess I never thought about it like that before. Wow. Thanks for that! Not only are you stunningly beautiful, you are wise beyond words!"
Self: "Yes.....indeed I am"
Me: "Self.....can I ask you another question?"
Self: "Of course"
Me: "Why is it that when I shuffle and sweat profusely, my entire body smells like dirty feet.....EXCEPT for my dirty feet??"
Self: (Staring blankly at me with her enormous, alien-like eyes.....) "What?"
Me: "I mean, think about it....my FEET are dirty from shuffling....but they don't smell like dirty feet!! BUT the rest of my body DOES smell like dirty feet!! What's up with that?!"
Self: (shaking her head) "Because you. are. weird."
Then......we spent the next two days at a water park where I enjoyed pizza, more greasy fries, ice cream, etc.
Then....just for kicks....I spent the whole next day stuffing my face with cookies, ice cream, donuts, and the like.
In those 4 days I went from 149lbs to 153lbs.
In all honesty, I consider myself lucky that 4lbs was ALL I gained!!
3 days later, fully back on track, I am thankfully down to 150. Phew!!!
But.....I have been thinking a lot lately.....
This whole "getting healthy/losing weight" thing is exhausting!!! Like being on a roller coaster.....up, down, up, down, up, down.....getting nauseous.....up, down, up, down......please stop this ride.....it's not so fun anymore!!
Frustrated with my lack of self control to fight these wild food cravings, I sat down with My Self and had a heart-to-heart.....here's how it went:
Me: "Hey Self......"
Self: "Yes?...."
Me: "How's it goin'?"
Self: "Fine, and you?"
Me: "Not so well.....I'm tired of this whole thing, to be honest. I am tired of fighting every single day....tired of doing well just to do terrible for a day or two...or three....or four....and then have to fight to get back on track."
Self: "I see"
Me: "Let me ask you something, when will I be done with this?! Seriously! I want to know what the plan is....I need a date, or something.... I need a point in time when I will be able to just sail along, like I used to. I want to know when I won't be all-consumed with what I am eating, how much exercise I've gotten, how many calories I burned, how high my heart rate gets when I shuffle. Please! Tell me! When will I be done?!"
Self: "Hmmmmm....yes, I sense your frustration and your exhaustion. You have struggled for almost 5 months now...but you have done well. Let me see if I can give you a light at the end of your tunnel. Let me whip out my handy-dandy "When Will I be Done" formula and get you a date to mark on your calendar......"
Me: "Oh thank you!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!"
I sat back...relieved. Thank God!! I will have a date to look forward to! It was like seeing the finish line at the end of a race and getting that second wind!!
My Self got her window marker out and got right to work on the formula!!
I waited, quite impatiently for the answer.....
My Self worked diligently and enthusiastically on the formula. She worked and re-worked the numbers.....my heart pounded nervously and I leaned forward in my seat.......C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!!! I thought impatiently.
Self: (mumbling quietly to herself) "......if we take the maximum heart rate and divide it by Pi.......and the take the calories in a gallon of ice cream and add that to pie.......and take the square root of Mu and subtract that from Moo........we need to consider the denominator and make it the numerator......your BMR divided by your BMI brought to the 4th power.....then we take your BMW to the BMV......."
Me: "C'mon already!!!"
(I could hardly control my excitement!)
Self: "I got it!!!!!! Ready?"
Me: "Yes!!! When?!" I sat anxiously with my calendar and pencil ready to mark that glorious date....
Self: "Ok....here it is......"
Me: (Gnawing nervously on the pencil.....)
Self: "Never"
Me: (Thumbing through the calendar.....looking.....mumbling.....) "Never..."
Then it hit me what My Self had just said....I looked up at her stunningly beautiful alien-like face.....
Me: "Wait.....never?"
Self: "Never"
Me: "What?! Never?!?!
Self: (nodding) "Mmm-hmmm"
Me: "What do you mean...."never"? "
Self: I mean never....nunca.....non-stop....evermore.....this will not end as long as you live.....that is what I mean."
I was ticked!!!! Never?! How could this be?!
Me: "There must be some kind of mistake!!!" I protested. "Maybe your formula is flawed!! Look here....I don't even own a BMW!!!!! You have to re-work the formula!!"
Patiently, My Self continued......
Self: "Karen.....what part of "life-style change" aren't you getting?"
I pouted childishly at My Self and wiped the tear that had fallen from my eye.....
Me: "I'm just so tired of this!! It isn't getting easier!! I want it to be effortless, but it is a fight every day!!"..........so stupid!!"
Self: "Let me ask you something.....when you are shuffling up a hill....is it hard?"
I sat up and pulled my lower lip back in....I LOVE to talk about shuffling!!
Me: "Yes, it's hard!! Have you seen how high I can get my heart rate?! It's crazy!!"
Self: "Right....do you stop shuffling because it is hard?"
Me: "Well....sometimes I do, but I have gotten to the point where I can just push through it, as long as the hill isn't too bad. I just talk myself through it!"
Self: "What do you tell yourself when shuffling gets tough and you want to quit?"
Me: "I remind myself that the top of the hill is coming soon, and I will have a chance to recover at the top and down the other side....I tell myself that the discomfort I feel is nothing to fear and I am not injured, I am just uncomfortable.....what's your point, oh wise one?"
Self: "Are all of your shuffles good ones?"
Me: "Oh heavens no!! I have plenty of bad shuffles!! Why, just the other day I meant to shuffle 6 miles but could only do 3! I had to walk back 3 miles because I just wasn't feelin' it that day!"
Self: "Mmm-hmmmm. But would you say that you have more good shuffles than bad?"
Me: "Yes....yes I would! Especially considering where I was just 5 months ago!!"
Self: "Your journey to better health is like a shuffle. It doesn't have to be perfect! It can't be perfect! You will have your good days and your bad days....just as long as there are more good days, you will continue to move in a positive direction. Think of your "bad days" as the recovery at the top of the hill. A chance to just relax and enjoy the moment. Think of those days as your "recharge days"....not "failures", because they are not. They are your moment to enjoy your life, to relax and not think about calories and exercise. You "binged" on those foods because you were enjoying the moment with your family....like you should be doing!!! Your daily fight with your food addiction is like shuffling up those hills....sure it is uncomfortable, but not impossible! Keep talking yourself through it, and it will become easier. You have improved tremendously! Look at how far you've come! 5 months ago, EVERY day was a free-for-all! Now, it's just once in a while....and you are shuffling so much now!"
I considered these words for a moment.
Me: "Hmmm..... I guess I never thought about it like that before. Wow. Thanks for that! Not only are you stunningly beautiful, you are wise beyond words!"
Self: "Yes.....indeed I am"
Me: "Self.....can I ask you another question?"
Self: "Of course"
Me: "Why is it that when I shuffle and sweat profusely, my entire body smells like dirty feet.....EXCEPT for my dirty feet??"
Self: (Staring blankly at me with her enormous, alien-like eyes.....) "What?"
Me: "I mean, think about it....my FEET are dirty from shuffling....but they don't smell like dirty feet!! BUT the rest of my body DOES smell like dirty feet!! What's up with that?!"
Self: (shaking her head) "Because you. are. weird."
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Replies
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Guess I should read next time ^____^0
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Absolutely loved this; it was fantastic 
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Love this!!!!0
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THANK YOU!! Not only was this entertaining and very well written, but it was JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR!! :flowerforyou:0
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Well...I read it all and it was well worth every second spend reading it.
Thanks for sharing your conversation with us....I really liked it 0 -
Believe it or not, that brought me to tears, except for the feet part, that made me laugh.
I just really, really needed to hear something like this today.
Thank you so very much.0 -
That. Was. Fantastic.0
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I read it and recognised it.
You hit several nails nicely on the head and it''s a shame not everyone bothers to read something on which they feel obliged to comment!
This life change is a big pain in the rear end, and the sooner I reconcile myself to the idea that I'm not required to complete a journey, just to keep plodding on it, the better.
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Thank you so much!!! :flowerforyou:0
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I would like to point out a few things to you
1) you are an amazing writer and i actually read all of this AT WORK
2) i also suffer with eating my body weight in chocolate and indulging in foods that aren't great for me at all.
3) i cant wait till i am 150 pounds thats my goal weight and im very proud of you for continuing to goal and push yourself
4)that was entertaining thank you im happy im not the only one who talks and answers myself 0 -
One of the best post's I've ever read on here! Thanks for posting!!!0
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No barefoot, you don't shuffle, you rock. Thank you for this, just what I needed.0
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Great post...
also keep in mind...as you're shuffling about...it's pretty much impossible to gain 4 Lbs of actual fat in 4 days...actually, it's pretty hard to gain even 1. With all of that junk food, your body is retaining water...most of that stuff is very high sodium and carb heavy...that's a recipe for a lot of water retention. To actually gain a Lb of fat per day you would have had to consume 3,500 calories in excess of your maintenance level of calories each and every day. For me that would mean roughly 6,200 calories per day...not impossible, but I'd most likely be vommiting before I ever got there. For the average women it would be about 5500-5700 calories.0 -
I can honestly say, this post has made my day. I feel the same way. Thanks0
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That was Awesome!! Thank you!0
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FANTASTIC!! and yes, I did want the caps lock
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Brilliant post -- like others, I needed it today. Thank you.0
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Guess I should read next time ^____^
Ritchiebulk......I am totally with you!! I most likely would have not read such a long post either.
I see the question, I have a solution...BAM!! Done! I would have completely ignored the details
That is most of my problem with this whole thing....I can't slow down enough to tend to the details! It is literally painful for me!! I know my problem, I know what to do, I put the plan in place....and then the wheels come off. The daily, mundane details that will get me to my goal are torturous!!
At least we ended up with the same answer!!! (You must have been peeking at my paper!! )
Thank you for taking the time to offer advice! Had this been someone else's post I probably would not have even done that!! I would have thought "Well, you will never be done if you do it right!" then moved on to the next post.
Thank you to everyone who stayed with me during that extremely lengthy post....and for your very kind words. :smooched:0 -
Love this! Thank you 0
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very witty and very true!!! That's a conversation that I think many of us need to have from time to time...0
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Thanks 0
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Thank you for this post. I enjoyed reading it. It definitely made me stop and think. I have been feeling the same way. I am so focused on the end date that I don't take time to enjoy life with my family. I feel like my life revolves around food and exercise. This is definitely a life change. I am realizing that what matters is having more good days than bad.0
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this so much!!! Totally the conversation I've been having w/ myself these last few weeks: why do I have to work so hard?? 0 -
Love this!0
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Great read!! :bigsmile: So funny and true!!0
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Thanks I needed this!:flowerforyou:0
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Write a motivational book. Now!
I'll even buy one.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I enjoyed as well. ty0
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This absolutely brilliant post is why I wish we had a quick "forward" button on this site so I could send this to everyone who says to me 1) You look great, why are you still obsessing over putting every single thing in your phone or 2) Well it's just somehow easier for you, I can't stick with a diet that long.0
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Fantastic! Bumping so I can read again, and hoping my MFP pals check it out too. Thank you!0
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