First time with new man... scared... big time...

nibbynoo
nibbynoo Posts: 250 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi all,

Sparing any gory details, I have started seeing a new guy and if it keep going well, things will move to the bedroom (as these things do!)

I am so freaking scared it is unreal...
He is very health concious, average build and good looking... I am dreading him seeing me naked. The thought of it actually makes me feel complete and utter panic!

I am 24 and can't blame anything other than my own mistakes for the way I look. I've avoided getting intimate with anyone for 3 years but I like this guy. I usually wear baggy clothes and hide my stomach like the plague, but he is inevitably going to see it.

Help me ... PLEASE! You know where I'm coming from right? Any advice before I explode with nervousness?!

Replies

  • MANNINGCARL
    MANNINGCARL Posts: 5
    hey nuttinikki,
    Don't worry at all, i bet he's just as nervous as you. If he's a guy worth having he'll be worried about how you feel not just getting his satisfaction. for a little confidence and perhaps a little romance, use a side light to provide a dim environment which will make you feel better, plus at first keep his focus on your eyes, it will drive him nuts. Then just go with the flow.

    Hope this helps,
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • Elliesque
    Elliesque Posts: 156 Member
    If he is into you, then go with it!! He must like you/how you look or he wouldn't be with you in the first place. The only thing that has the potential to screw things up is if you are all self conscious! Remember, confidence is sexy - regardless of your size.
  • kckBxer396
    kckBxer396 Posts: 460 Member
    I doubt he's worried about your tummy...just relax,and try not to focus on it. Confidence in the bedroom is really sexy. :wink: In my experience,whenever I have been worried, it was for nothing, so get get him tiger! haha
  • BluejayNY
    BluejayNY Posts: 301 Member
    If he likes you with your clothes on, he will like you with them off. Just dive into the passion of the moment.
  • MANNINGCARL
    MANNINGCARL Posts: 5
    If he is into you, then go with it!! He must like you/how you look or he wouldn't be with you in the first place. The only thing that has the potential to screw things up is if you are all self conscious! Remember, confidence is sexy - regardless of your size.


    definitely confidence is the key
  • GaryJMillsom
    GaryJMillsom Posts: 1
    I understand how you are feeling but try and look at the positive side, he obviously likes you as you are and he will have a rough idea what's going on under the baggy cloths so don't worry too much when the time comes. If you are all worried and nervous at the time then that may have a negative effect so just be you and enjoy your time with him after all he is still interested !!!

    Gary
  • chancock6
    chancock6 Posts: 87
    I get what you mean. I make him turn off the lights. He assures me he thinks my belly's fine, and I'm sexy, but I'm still embarrassed. The dark makes me more comfortable and confident. You won't be so nervous the more you get to know him. Maybe try to explain how far you've come and tell him how you feel about it. I know it's hard as you don't want to draw attention to it, but give it a shot.
  • taro1971
    taro1971 Posts: 9
    I totally understand. I was there. I threw away relationships because of how I felt, how embarrassed I was, how I judged myself. But your clothes are not an invisibility cloak. He most likely has a pretty good idea of what you are, and he most likely can't wait to see more. Be proud of who you are, know that you are something he desires. Turning off the lights will be a bit of security blanket you can use. I also tell myself in X amount of years I will miss my body and will regret ever being ashamed of it. You can spend the time holding back because you're scared...or seize the moment, push through that fear, and knock his socks off with how fierce you are. Hugs to you
  • amylb0822
    amylb0822 Posts: 69 Member
    If you have hugged him tightly he allready knows what is "under the hood" so to speak. He likes you for you.... enjoy that!

    ALso, be aware.. no matter how fit he is he is likely just as worried about what you will think of him with out his clothes on....
  • fivethreeone
    fivethreeone Posts: 8,196 Member
    He isn't blind. If you have extra weight, he knows. If you move to the bedroom, he doesn't mind. It's not like he's expecting you to shrink between the living room and the bedroom. I get that you're nervous, but don't show it. He already likes you. The sexiest thing is confidence.
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
    Hire a body double. It's a win win.
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
    Own it. There's nothing sexier than a woman with confidence. Besides, he's not going to be looking at the stomach. :wink: You know, I had a hot freaking body @ 24 & thought I was a slob. It's all in the perspective. Love your body, and he will.
  • Kymmu
    Kymmu Posts: 1,650 Member
    Buy some pretty lingerie, and light the candles..Don't look terrified!!
    Enjoy!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Oh relax feel beautiful...just go into the sex goddess mode (remember she is always pictured with a big tummy) and focus on yourself. Men always respond favorily to a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it.

    Oh and if you cant feel the confidence then close your eyes imagine your most naughtiest fantasy and enjoy the big O.

    365lbs at my heaviest and never one complaint.
  • SweetLilyR
    SweetLilyR Posts: 283 Member
    At my heaviest of 390 lbs., I have had men begging to be in my bed.

    Like many previous posters have said before, he's seen you in your clothes, so he's got a general idea of your shape. He knows that and he still likes you. One of the things that I STILL have a hard time wrapping my head around is that not all men like the stick thin model Barbie-wannabes. They DESIRE a larger woman! I've had guys tell me they love the size and shape of me, and I thought they must have been blind or in need of glasses - but luckily men are equipped with sexual lie detectors.

    The key is to fake it until you make it, so to speak. Act with confidence, even if you don't possess any. Once you get more comfortable with him, the confidence will grow and you won't have to fake it so much. I hope this helped a bit...good luck!
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    *squeezes your cheeks* You're some cute. I remember when boys made me nervous. Ahhh the excitement.

    Don't worry, you have this body part thing you can control them with, they'll be getting fat off it, the last thing they'll be thinking about is yours :tongue:
  • geebusuk
    geebusuk Posts: 3,348 Member
    Credit him more intelligence than that :) - if he's still there he'll have worked out what you look like and finds you attractive!
  • cassondraragan
    cassondraragan Posts: 233 Member
    Being heavy off and on throughout my life, I know how you feel. But we big girls fool ourselves into thinking that our clothes hide our bodies. While stretch marks and dimples may be hidden, the overall gist of our shapes are more obvious than we admit to ourselves. If he wants to be with you, trust that he really does want to be with YOU :)
  • skinniwoman
    skinniwoman Posts: 29 Member
    I agree. It is scarey, but we all have flaws. :wink:
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Credit him more intelligence than that :) - if he's still there he'll have worked out what you look like and finds you attractive!

    What a nice reply - and from a man too. I'd take this as my answer, men should know about these things (one would think).

    And if this "new man" of yours has a negative opinion about your tummy, he's not worth getting naked for in the first place. I'm sure he has his own insecurities. Just go with the flow and see what happens :)
  • purpleipod
    purpleipod Posts: 1,147 Member
    I'm pretty sure he'll be concerned about your orifices, not your stomach.
  • 2boned
    2boned Posts: 44
    Be prepared for a hit it and quit it!
  • LuckyFur
    LuckyFur Posts: 96
    I'm pretty sure he'll be concerned about your orifices, not your stomach.

    He could also get creative and turn your stomach into an orifice.

    Men are weird.
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
    If you have hugged him tightly he allready knows what is "under the hood" so to speak. He likes you for you.... enjoy that!

    ALso, be aware.. no matter how fit he is he is likely just as worried about what you will think of him with out his clothes on....

    This!
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    I'm pretty sure he'll be concerned about your orifices, not your stomach.

    He could also get creative and turn your stomach into an orifice.

    Men are weird.
    Psh tell me about it.
    1305220136_homer-simpson-belly-pizza-eating.gif

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