When are you going to have a second one? Grrr!!!!!!!

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NYCNika
NYCNika Posts: 611 Member
in Chit-Chat
It is irritating me like crazy when people just mindlessly keep asking this question. Everyone feels this is just a thing to ask now that he is 2.

Why is it assumed, that having one child is like opening a flood gate? That your family can't just be happy as is?

You do not care, so why do you ask?

Are you going to help with his daycare, make sure everything around the house is done so that the child you already have does not receive less care as a result? Will you pay for the second's one college, help us get a bigger place in good school district so that he/she could have her own room?

Is this country/world faced with a great population decline problem?

Why is it expected that once your baby becomes a toddler you should immediately pop out another one?
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Replies

  • c_tap77
    c_tap77 Posts: 189 Member
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    Hahaha...my husband and I just got married in June and everybody and their mother are already asking us when we're going to have kids!!!! For the moment it's somewhat entertaining (mostly because the idea is laughable to us--we don't have the money or the space for a baby), but I can see it getting old really fast!

    At least now I know that isn't going to stop once we finally do have a baby (which won't be for at least a few more years)!!!!
  • ninjakitty419
    ninjakitty419 Posts: 349 Member
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    It was like that with us, too. But now that we have our two kids, a boy and a girl, we are making it perfectly clear that we are DONE.
  • summery79
    summery79 Posts: 116 Member
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    We also have one child. We got this question all the time when he was a toddler, but no one asks us anymore now that he is ten. lol So things will get better for you!

    Also I'm surprised that you are getting this question a lot in NYC. In Boston, most of the ppl we knew had one or zero kids. We got bugged a lot more when we lived in suburbs.
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
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    I had the opposite. Everyone would always say "You guys are done now, right?"
  • lschwindel0522
    lschwindel0522 Posts: 13
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    I have two girls. Instead of people asking us if we are going to have another, we are now asked if we are going to try for a boy. Uh, no!
  • NYCNika
    NYCNika Posts: 611 Member
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    Hahaha...my husband and I just got married in June and everybody and their mother are already asking us when we're going to have kids!!!! For the moment it's somewhat entertaining (mostly because the idea is laughable to us--we don't have the money or the space for a baby), but I can see it getting old really fast!

    At least now I know that isn't going to stop once we finally do have a baby (which won't be for at least a few more years)!!!!

    LOL, I only asked our newly married friends that I like (and only once) and it was an "if" not a "when" question.

    And it was mostly for selfish reasons. ;)

    When they have kids:

    1) I will get the satisfaction from them realizing what being "busy" actually means. Because childless people are way off base as to what "no time" means. I was guilty of that too. There is just no scale that compares.

    2). They'll like doing more baby-friendly things.
  • Shan790
    Shan790 Posts: 280 Member
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    We also have one child. We got this question all the time when he was a toddler, but no one asks us anymore now that he is ten. lol So things will get better for .

    Mine is 11. People stopped asking us to and have moved on to all of our childless siblings to bug them to have kids :)
  • TyTy76
    TyTy76 Posts: 1,761 Member
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    You sound angry.

    sherlock-glitch.gif
  • chileheadmike
    chileheadmike Posts: 78 Member
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    One of my Mom's friends, who I had never met before, told my wife and I we should have more than one because "The oldest could get sick and die".

    Yeah, thanks.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    My vagina is not a clown car. /thread
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    So.... Uhhh. When are you?
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
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    Eh, I guess it depends on the person. Because I don't have any children, I always get, "when are you going to start?"
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    Serious answer here...

    Why are people like that? I have a friend who had some horrible complications in their first pregnancy, and ended up having a hysterectomy. The sad part is she and her husband wanted to have more children.

    Now, whenever some loose lipped *kitten* asks "When are you going to have more?" She thinks about how she didn't get the family she dreamed of as a kid and gets all depressed.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
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    Serious answer here...

    Why are people like that? I have a friend who had some horrible complications in their first pregnancy, and ended up having a hysterectomy. The sad part is she and her husband wanted to have more children.

    Now, whenever some loose lipped *kitten* asks "When are you going to have more?" She thinks about how she didn't get the family she dreamed of as a kid and gets all depressed.

    That's really sad. :cry:
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    My vagina is not a clown car. /thread

    And, as I discovered the hard way, vice versa

    clown-car-clown-car-not-vagina-demotivational-poster-1230111801.jpg
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    I'm sure most people don't intend it as you are taking it.

    I was an only child. It's great when they are young...they get all the toys, attention, etc. but keep in mind that when the parents age, all responsibility is placed on the one and only child to handle everything when the time comes.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    LOL...it doesn't stop there...god fobid you have two and they're both of the same sex...then you get the, "aren't you going to try for a girl?" (or boy if you have 2 girls).
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,375 Member
    Options
    My vagina is not a clown car. /thread

    And, as I discovered the hard way, vice versa

    clown-car-clown-car-not-vagina-demotivational-poster-1230111801.jpg

    :drinker:
  • polarsjewel
    polarsjewel Posts: 1,726 Member
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    My vagina is not a clown car. /thread

    And, as I discovered the hard way, vice versa

    clown-car-clown-car-not-vagina-demotivational-poster-1230111801.jpg

    QFT
  • kitjos
    kitjos Posts: 158 Member
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    Same here. The pressure from families to have #2 is worse than that it was before we had any?! Our daughter is 9 months old and we always get asked 'that' question, mainly by sis in laws.

    Im quite happy with one, I might try again when shes 2yrs old, but then I might not. Im financially healthy atm, that would change if I had another one.

    Decisions! Lol x

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