Still struggling!

Well, I'm doing better but every morning and every night I promise myself I'll do better. I'm still giving in to the odd cookie or chocolate bar and somehow I have to find the strength to say no and stop myself but it's hard when my husband buys these things. I have to fight hard and sort myself out. I'm not able to get to the gym at the moment either as the gym is 12 miles away and I have no car. No buses go that way either so it's impossible. At my weight exercise feels like an impossibility. I know it's not though, I just have to find exercise I can do. I won't lie I do feel really frustrated but it's this frustration that can make you give up so I have to keep going and get through it.

Life is harder because I suffer from depression and anxiety. I also have 3 teenage sons and a husband who acts like one. Sometimes I feel the need to escape but I have no where to go. living in a small house with 4 males is smothering. I have hobbies which include sewing and floristry but my husband complains that my stuff takes up too much room and he doesn't like me using the sewing machine or doing the floristry in the house because he says it makes a mess. I need these hobbies though because they help me de-stress. I also work as a make-up artist but it's not regular work, I need to advertise more I think. Even my make-up takes up to much room though.

I've found my perfect house it has 9 bedrooms! one for sewing, one for flowers, one for make-up, one for storage, one for a gym and still 4 left! Wow that would be fantastic and so perfect! It's only £275000 but it may as well be £275000000 because we would never get a mortgage as we are on a low income. We struggle to pay a rent, let alone a mortgage, it's nice to dream though.

Well, guess it's time for me to get some sleep. I'm definitely getting some exercise in tomorrow, I just have to work out what I'm going to do.