Your married and want to get healthy...he doesn't?

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TennVolsGal
TennVolsGal Posts: 218 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey MFP I need advice on ways to get my husband motivated or if I should just give up on him working out with me. We started working out together a month ago and I have stuck with it...him not so much. He's 5'11 275lbs and needs to lose weight not because I don't like the way he looks, he's still hot, but because I love him and want him to have a long life.
I want us to do it together how can I motivate him....any guys on here with some advice on how to reach a meat and potatoes kinda guy.

Thanks a bunch

Replies

  • Beebee78
    Beebee78 Posts: 703
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    Go to the dr and get him to have a health check - I am pretty sure that learning what being overweight is doing to his body should give him a good kick up the bum.

    Unfortunately I have the opposite problem - my husband is very fit and healthy xxx
  • gnastro
    gnastro Posts: 239 Member
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    Try just going for a long walk in a park that has some hills. Then have a healthy picnic lunch.
  • cparter
    cparter Posts: 754 Member
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    I have learned from my own experience. You can tell him but it will only put him off more. The best you can do is set the example and let him know you love him regardless. You can also tell him "after you meet your goal" tell him you worry because you love him and that you would love to spend old age together and share the experience of your grand kids.

    To top it off encourage him with love and continue to set the example.
  • epa422
    epa422 Posts: 1,009
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    I would probably start by making healthier dinners for both of you, if you eat together. As for getting someone to exercise when they don't want to, I don't know. Find activities that he enjoys that don't feel like exercise: dodge ball, co rec softball, etc.
  • arsenal45
    arsenal45 Posts: 211 Member
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    Everybody has to make the decision to change on their own. Pushing your s/o to change themselves will only make them want it less.
  • mmjones2006
    mmjones2006 Posts: 3 Member
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    Not sure what types of exercise you are doing but if lifting weights tell him how hot he looks doing it, my wife did and I have continued and actually feel like I look pretty good myself.
  • sillygoose1977
    sillygoose1977 Posts: 2,151 Member
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    Tell him how much it will improve his sex life. :devil:
  • littlems
    littlems Posts: 28
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    i was in the same boat as you. he has no interest in getting healthy. hell i can't even cook healthy for him - he *****es too much :sad:

    so what i am doing is introducing little by little heathy stuff - changed the salt, changed the butter, trying to change the ground meat to ground turkey (still needs work on this)

    unfortunately he is a big boy and going to do what he wants to do. it is frustrating but just do little changes.

    best of luck!!
  • gnrshelton
    gnrshelton Posts: 358 Member
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    In my experience when I try to get my husband to be healthy he runs the other way. He feels like he is trying to be changed or told what to do. So I decided to just work on myself. BUT since I have been working on myself I noticed he has been changing his eating habits on his own. He is eating better sometimes so my getting healthier is helping him in a small way. You can't make them want what you want. Maybe he will come around on his own when he sees how fabulous you look. Good Luck
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    You can try everything in the book, but the bottom line is, if he doesn't want to, he's not going to. People (men and women) have to be ready and the motivation has to come from within.

    But maybe you can plan active things for you to do together: Hiking, biking, canoeing, going to the zoo or the park, etc. Get him up and moving without it being "exercise" or "work" to do it.
  • bluiz13
    bluiz13 Posts: 3,550 Member
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    i am in a similar situation.....
    i started my "journey" in january 2008 after having our second child.....i have been working on this for almost 3 years straight...i have not met my "final" goal yet but i have lost over 40lbs since starting and will continue until i get where i want/need to be....i exercise at least 4-5 times a week, i make healthy meals for our family - i'm doing all i can to make myself healthy and hadn't really thought about "including" my husband in my plan....he was 208 when we met over 10 year ago and at 6ft that was a good weight for him (little heavy but still looked good)...he has been up to 260??? or more i think not really sure but he says he is back down to 245 now...i honestly dont see any loss on him so far...he isnt "doing" anything to lose i dont think but he says he is losing....i asked about getting a family ymca membership so we could all go as a family (i have a gym membership i have already pd for until 2012) but he doesnt want to spend the extra money for the ymca....i really would love to help him get fit and healthy but i agree, no one can make that decision for you....i made my decision and he has to make his....when/if he decides to get started, i'll be right there beside him encouraging him to keep going because this change in me is forever, it is not just until i get to a certain weight....working out 4-5 times week and eating right and drinking tons of water and making good food choices and being healthy is something i have to strive towards forever....this is it....this is for life.....

    ps - i feel the same way about my mom who is severely overweight so much so that now she has diabetes, bp and knee issues....she just says, so what i'm fat and i'm old, what can i do......i have encouraged her to join the gym by herself, they had an amazing deal for 10/month with now upfront fees...dont even know if she did it....guess i should ask again....
  • TennVolsGal
    TennVolsGal Posts: 218 Member
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    Thanks everyone for the words of wisdom....I needed them.

    New plan....get up the motivation to work on myself and hope he follows in my foot steps.:love:
  • kiffypooh
    kiffypooh Posts: 1,045 Member
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    Bump to read later, having the same issues at home!
  • chgudnitz
    chgudnitz Posts: 4,079
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    I usually avoid these topics but I guess I'm going to add my two cents...

    Imagine a slightly different scenario... your husband comes home and says "I've decided I'm going to lose weight. Oh, and I think you should too..."

    Now.... think of your reaction... and be honest with yourself about HOW you would react. Would you really think or say "Sure honey, that's a great idea. Thanks for pointing out that I'm fat. Why didn't I see that before?"

    or... maybe... possibly.... something a little different? Maybe you get extremely angry? Maybe at him, maybe at yourself for letting yourself get that way, but either way angry. What happens when humans get angry? We either lash out at the focus of our anger, or we shut down to that focus. Either way, not productive...

    Basically, good job to you for wanting to get healthy. Let him come to that on his own, in his own time, not on your schedule. Contrary to what many women think (and what we show) guys have feelings too. We don't like hearing a lot of the same things you don't like hearing. Don't tell us we're too fat or not healthy. That's not going to help.

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