fearing food

lalonmeg000
lalonmeg000 Posts: 276 Member
in Motivation and Support
Today I realized something while at work.

My team and I were driving around town running errands when we pasted a Checkers. I had never been to one and asked what it was. Apparently its a fast food burger chain that has yummy fries and shakes. In my head I thought, oh that sounds good, maybe on my next cheat day I can try that. Then almost immediatly I felt this fear come across me:

I am afraid of food deemed as unhealthy. I am afraid of anything that isn't a vegetable. I have read so much about how much to eat, and what to eat, and how to eat, and when to eat....I am fearing food.

I am afraid to gain back this past year's work. I am worried that being in grad school will cause so much stress I fall back into living on fast food. I am anxious for these next few months as I try and live on a (pathetic) grad student income.

After realizing these fears, I also realized I don't remember my last true cheat day. Sure I have had a not so healthy meal, or grabbed a snack that wasn't the best option, but I always go back to veggies for the next meal. I am also wondering if these subtle fears are what is causing me to have mini cheats...

At this point, I am not really 100% sure what to do. I don't feel totally comfortable not logging my food, and I don't think that is my problem. I also don't want to have a full cheat day and use "trying to get over my fear" as an excuse....I have defiantly hit a platue in my weight loss though.

Any thought's? Has anyone else hit that point in their journey were they are so afraid to go back to what they were, they fear certain foods?

Thanks,
Meghan

Replies

  • exie95
    exie95 Posts: 12
    My thought would be that if you are going to cheat, make it worth it. Make it something really delicious and awesome so you can say "well that meal was a TON of calories, but at least it was delicious"

    I heard from someone very wise that you should always "eat with joy"

    Only cheat if you know you will be eating with joy, that's my philosophy!

    If you know that you won't enjoy the meal because you will feel guilty the second you take a bite, then don't do it.

    There's is no point in having a meal that makes you feel terrible while eating it.
  • meagalayne
    meagalayne Posts: 3,382 Member
    I'm facing my feared foods list as we speak... I've been doing for so about 5 weeks now and started by actually making the list, and breaking it down into what situations or circumstances make me the most anxious. I'm starting small and doing food exposures in situations that I feel I can handle right now. For instance, making a meal with family and measuring out my servings so that I know I'm eating normal, balanced meals still.

    My list started at a full length page, typed and I've tackled about 12 items so far.

    It's slow going and it's very anxiety provoking at times, but I'm trying to find balance and get back to eating in a way that doesn't ostracize me socially.

    It's worth it :) Good luck, girl.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    Do away with the concept if a "cheat meal," and eat moderate amounts of food you enjoy every day.
  • peachstategal
    peachstategal Posts: 398 Member
    I am totally with you on the fear of eating some foods. I went for 4 months without pizza (my favorite)! I finally made one and tried to use lighter ingredients. But, after eating it was very difficult for me to get back on track. I decided that I needed to start eating some foods that I consider "off limits" just so I would learn that I could get back on my plan. Went on vacation and enjoyed eating out every day but got right back on my plan when I got home.
  • tlou5
    tlou5 Posts: 497 Member
    My thought would be that if you are going to cheat, make it worth it. Make it something really delicious and awesome so you can say "well that meal was a TON of calories, but at least it was delicious"

    I heard from someone very wise that you should always "eat with joy"

    Only cheat if you know you will be eating with joy, that's my philosophy!

    If you know that you won't enjoy the meal because you will feel guilty the second you take a bite, then don't do it.

    There's is no point in having a meal that makes you feel terrible while eating it.

    That is a great quote! Thanks for sharing! I will have to remember it when tempted to cheat to check if I can eat whatever it is with joy or not.
  • QuincyChick
    QuincyChick Posts: 269 Member
    Do away with the concept if a "cheat meal," and eat moderate amounts of food you enjoy every day.

    This.
  • Softrbreeze
    Softrbreeze Posts: 156 Member
    If you eat that stuff, you will feel physically awful afterward. I think "little cheats" are okay and fear of fast food is your friend. Use them wisely.
  • Cindy311
    Cindy311 Posts: 780 Member
    Honestly, you're doing what most (IMO) normal eaters do: have a little splurge then get back on track. You don't have to have a cheat day, or a cheat meal, or a cheat anything unless you honestly want to. Food fears, in my case, have gone away with time. I have realized that life is too short not to enjoy something I want. A hamburger, pizza, etc. isn't going to make a huge difference as long as it is in a controlled manner and not a binge fest.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    This is a great topic that I'd like to know more about.
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
    Do away with the concept if a "cheat meal," and eat moderate amounts of food you enjoy every day.

    ^This.

    Everything in moderation.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    This might be something worth addressing with a therapist.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    If you eat that stuff, you will feel physically awful afterward. I think "little cheats" are okay and fear of fast food is your friend. Use them wisely.

    I heartily disagree. Of course, if a person binges on huge amounts of fast food, they may feel sick, but having a bit once in awhile is just fine. Fit it within your calorie goal and enjoy some fun food occasionally. Fearing food is NOT MENTALLY HEALTHY.
  • jessicasloan91
    jessicasloan91 Posts: 184 Member
    I think this website can eventually create a very unhealthy relationship with food.

    You should not fear any foods. And I'm pretty sure you probably didn't before you joined here right?

    I took a break from MFP for a year for these reasons.
  • tiffd1000
    tiffd1000 Posts: 93
    I so agree with this! I hate the idea of "Cheat Meals/Days" ... I don't believe in them... I am doing this whole healthy living for life.. its not going to be just a temporary thing until I meet my goal... That being said, I do not restrict the "Bad Foods" from my diet.. I just eat them in moderation if I have a craving... I have friends who use cheat days as a day to eat whatever the heck they want and basically they exceed their calorie intake so much so that they completely ruin the progress they made earlier in the week.. its pointless. Integrate some of the foods back into your life... don't be afraid of them, just don't make it an everyday thing... if you want a burger go eat one(I always get them w/o Mayo-saves about 150 cals!).
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    At this point, I don't avoid fast food because I'm afraid of it. I would just honestly rather use my calories on other things. I eat ice cream and cookies and cake, but I haven't had a fast food burger, taco, etc., in going on 4 years. It's been at least a year since I've had pizza. When I plan out my days, I would just rather have steak and bacon and chocolate or an awesome homemade cheeseburger than something from McDonald's.
    fear of fast food is your friend. Use them wisely.

    No. Avoiding fast food should be a conscious choice. It shouldn't be done out of fear. It's not the food itself that's going to hurt you. It's eating too much of it.
  • mgreen10
    mgreen10 Posts: 229 Member
    Sometimes fear is a good thing, like in this case.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    Sometimes fear is a good thing, like in this case.

    Nope.
  • mgreen10
    mgreen10 Posts: 229 Member
    Sometimes fear is a good thing, like in this case.

    Nope.

    Yup.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    Sometimes fear is a good thing, like in this case.

    Nope.

    Yup.

    This
  • NickeeCoco
    NickeeCoco Posts: 130
    I avoid fast food, because I'm afraid of it. Not for the same reasons as the OP, though. I'm afraid of it, because it's entirely processed and isn't real food to begin with. The thought of eating that junk makes me feel sick. Gross.

    As for eating delicious foods, I'm in the moderation camp. I refuse to give up my cheese, for one. :)
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
    Do away with the concept if a "cheat meal," and eat moderate amounts of food you enjoy every day.
    This. Get rid of arbitrary food labels.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Do away with the concept if a "cheat meal," and eat moderate amounts of food you enjoy every day.

    ^^ This


    Once I got under 200 pounds, I lowered my calorie deficit to just 200-300 calories. In the last couple of months, I have started logging *after* I eat so as not to get caught up in the OCD of tracking, as well as to see if I could make smart choices on the fly. And guess what? I'm doing it. I'm averaging 2038 calories a day without pre-planning. (My goal is 2100/day) Eat the food. Log it. Watch your macro numbers. If you let yourself love food, and you let yourself love your body, everything else will fall into place. :flowerforyou:
  • drenergy
    drenergy Posts: 112 Member
    RRRREEEEELLLAAAAAXXXXXX

    Food is not the enemy! And you're just making it worse by being freaked out about all of these things. Did you hear what you said? You're anxious about this, so you're anxious about that, and stress etc. etc. But you're stressing about things that aren't even happening! What good is that doing you? None at all!

    I have lost 25 pounds this year because I stopped eating back my calories on weekends and nights out with friends. Seriously. I was training for half marathons, and stayed really active for almost a year, but my weight was totally flat. Once I realized that I was going out too much and eating too many wings and fries, I went down to just one dinner out each week and started losing consistently. Now I just eat reasonably during the week and keep running and I'm almost down to my goal. I don't tell myself I 'can't' have certain foods; I just know that I shouldn't be pounding burgers and fries and shakes. If you plan out your meals and spend a little time thinking about healthy snacks to have on hand, and lots of veggies and lean proteins for dinners, you'll be fine.

    If you're worried about grad school derailing your schedule and healthy habits, just plan ahead. I found rice cups that are healthy and super easy, so I keep frozen veggies and precooked chicken around to have a legit healthy meal in like 5 minutes. I always pack a lunch. If there's a day I forget or just can't juggle all the balls, I go to Subway. No biggie. You can work exercise into your schedule even if you only have twenty minutes a day. You know how to do all of these things, so worrying about maybe not doing them in the future seems very silly. If you want to eat one meal out with some fries now and then, it's really not a big deal. That's not going to be the downfall of everything you've worked hard for and cause you to be morbidly obese, living under an overpass.
  • lalonmeg000
    lalonmeg000 Posts: 276 Member
    Thanks everyone who posted. I don't agree with the phrase "cheat days" I just didn't know how else to put it.

    Reading all your post make me feel a little less crazy lol. I think I will try writing down the situations and foods that are making me a little stressed and see how that helps. Off the top of my head French fries and pizza are the two biggest triggers of guilt, and maybe it's because I am not a huge fan of either to begin with which leads into..making the not so healthy meal worth it. Great philosophy. Tiramisu totally worth it, fries and pizza...ehhh

    Yesterday I was hungry when we past that fast food...I think more than being afraid of the food itself, I am more so afraid of falling back into my old habits with food (aka I see it I eat it) which is equally as unhealthy as my new stress over food is. And let's face it, fast food isn't filling, so I knew in my head in order to be full, I would end up eating more than I could budget in my daily cals.

    Overall I think these first couple of weeks are going to be a new level of learning for me in many ways, time management, money budgeting, and staying stress free enough from the work load to still carry on my normal planning ahead. I am still working out after work, and brining my lunches...idk what came over me yesterday, but feeling much better today.

    Thanks again for all the responders and advice !!!!
  • vet272
    vet272 Posts: 183
    Do away with the concept if a "cheat meal," and eat moderate amounts of food you enjoy every day.

    This.

    QFT
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    Making it "worth it" is very important, IMO. If you're going to enjoy a milkshake, for example, make it a really good one in your favorite flavor. If you're going to spend calories on pizza, make or get a really good pizza with just the toppings you like. Being particular in that way makes it easier to resist the crappy versions of these things when they are all around us. If you're going to invest calories in enjoying food, then really, really enjoy it.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Off the top of my head French fries and pizza are the two biggest triggers of guilt, and maybe it's because I am not a huge fan of either to begin with which leads into..making the not so healthy meal worth it. Great philosophy. Tiramisu totally worth it, fries and pizza...ehhh

    I love this ^^^

    It took me a long time to get to this realization.

    In my case, I'm not a big fan of Cheetos - I can enjoy them but I'm not going to seek them out. However, cheeseCAKE is a huge treat. One day I mindlessly ate Cheetoes from the vending machine because I "needed a snack" and they were available. Later that day I had an opportunity to eat cheesecake that I TURNED DOWN because I'd already had too many "junk" calories from the Cheetos. What the hell was that?

    Then I ran into this quote from a Rabbi, something like, "God is going to ask you whether you enjoyed the delicious food he made for you. Are you going to say, 'I was too busy dieting.'?"

    Ah ha! Forgoing cheesecake that I would enjoy because I MINDLESSLY ate Cheetos is actually a SIN. So, one of my goals is to make sure that my snacking isn't mindless. Food is too yummy to eat without thinking about it.
  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member
    There shouldn't be a cheat day. Eat what you love in moderation and in your daily calorie allowance. And stop thinking of certain foods as "bad".
  • sjanejack
    sjanejack Posts: 158
    I don't quite have that problem, but sometimes I do get afraid of eating more even once in a while, like being afraid I'll gain weight.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Do away with the concept if a "cheat meal," and eat moderate amounts of food you enjoy every day.
    This. Get rid of arbitrary food labels.

    This

    foods are not good or bad............... someone's overall diet can be healthy or unhealthy. healthy = providing the body with all the nutrition it needs without eating way too much of certain things that can be harmful in excess. unhealthy = insufficient nutrient intake and/or way too much of anything that's harmful in excess.

    What that means is if the majority of your diet is nutritious food that's providing your body with what it needs, then eating so-called "junk" food within limits (e.g. while sticking to your calorie and macro goals, or not going over then too often) isn't going to make your diet unhealthy.

    In terms of weight gain, you need to eat 3500 calories over and above your TDEE to gain just one lb of fat. Eating over your TDEE day in day out will make you gain fat.... massive binges of thousands and thousands of calories will make you gain fat..... but one normal sized meal in a restaurant every now and then isn't going to make you gain any significant amount of fat, and your body tends to adapt... personally I find if I have a really big meal one day, I'm less hungry the next, so naturally eat less and it balances itself out. Or if I'm more active one day I get more hungry and naturally eat more and again, it balances itself out. So really, don't be afraid of food.... .it's there to be enjoyed.... it's a vital life skill to learn how to enjoy all the foods you want to eat in moderation.

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