Handling compulsive eating - carrot or stick?

MerinneW
MerinneW Posts: 71 Member
in Food and Nutrition
(or carrot sticks, haha...)

OK, so, I have an ongoing problem and could use some advice.

I have been having real success with exercising. I've been going to the gym every weekday for about 20 mins of cardio and then 20 mins of swimming; I've been doing the 30 day shred religiosly every day (Level 3 today, come on Jillian, you sadistic cow, I'm ready for ya!). I really am feeling the difference in my body, even my posture feels just naturally better for actually having some muscles in my core instead of just flubber. But.

Food. I have really not been doing well with food. I've been logging, and I USUALLY manage to keep to my 1200+exercise calories limit. But. When I don't, I REALLY don't. I cheat, badly. My problem is not regular meals - if I just ate those, I'd be way under every day, and actually I'd probably be full. My problem is not hunger, it's greed. I'll buy packets of sweets, boxes of biscuits, or a loaf of bread, almost as if in a trance, on my way to work. I'll plan to make them last the week, then eat them in a day. I'll tell myself this is the last time I'll ever do it (which then acts as a spur to be EXTRA bad this one day, as it's the LAST DAY EVER...) then do it again the next day. It's really slowing down my weight loss, and playing merry hell with my skin, my energy levels and my metabolism.

I don't have this problem at the weekends, when I'm under the watchful eye of my wonderful other half, who has been so supportive of me in this last-ditch effort to be the person I want to be. It's easy to be good for an audience. It's in the week, sitting at my desk, hand moving on autopilot to the naughty drawer. On a day like today, when I'm alone in the office, it is RIDICULOUS.

So what to do? I have a solution in mind that is beautiful in its simplicity - LEAVE MY WALLET AT HOME. If I start off the day with the best of intentions, by mid-morning when my willpower caves,if I have no money it will be too late to go over to the bad - I'll be good by default, with my pre-arranged healthy breakfast and lunch and nothing else. This idea actually makes my heart beat faster; I really don't know why or how, but somehow in my life I have developed a real fear of being hungry, and the idea of not being able to get food if I "need" it is genuinely scary to me. But I think this may be the only way to get me on track. I call this method The Stick.

I have sometimes successfully deployed another strategy I call The Carrot. This involves rewarding myself for resisting - sort of delayed gratification or distraction. So I'll say "if you can stick to your meals on Monday and Tuesday, no cheating, you can have [something bad] on Wednesday". This does, sometimes, work. But often as not, I'll just end up cheating on Monday and Tuesday and then having the bad thing on Wednesday anyway. Because there's nothing to stop me except willpower, which I have 9as you'll have realised by now) a conspicuous lack of.

So, The Stick? My concern is that this method really isn't addressing my underlying issue with compulsive buying and eating of extra food - it's like an alcoholic moving to Iran, rather than going into therapy and truly getting control of their condition. I feel like it might work, but only until I achieve my weight loss goal, and then I'll be back to my old ways. Does anyone have the same problems, and is there any way of actually developing willpower short of therapy?

Replies

  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Honestly I had to stop for a month or so before I was able to have sweets in moderation. It's still easier some days just not to start eating them, lol.

    The bottom line though, it's much easier to have willpower at the store than at home, when the box is right here. Just make yourself stop when you go to the store. Or allow yourself one little package at the cash register (even if it costs more). Make your diary a contract you make with yourself. You cannot go over. Look at yourself in the mirror... do you want to stay overweight? Don't you really want to know what you'd look like if we lost the weight? Isn't it worth it more than the 10 seconds of pleasure you'll have when you eat a cookie? Then before you eat something, take it out of the package, put it on a plate (never ever eat from the package) then log it. Honestly half the time I see what it does to my diary and I won't eat it.

    Or buy healthy snacks that will help your cravings. It's one of the reasons I like Quest protein bars. They keep me full and are sweet, so I don't feel the need to munch on unhealthy things afterwards, plus they're really not that unhealthy.

    Personally, I leave myself 600 calories for dinner, so I can often afford a treat after. I have small bites and make them last, because I know that I can't have more.
  • aliceclutz90
    aliceclutz90 Posts: 151 Member
    I'd say yeah, don't take your wallet with you. Pre-prepare healthy meals and snacks for the day to take with you, then you wont need to bring any money for extra food as you'll already have everything you need.
  • mmg0327
    mmg0327 Posts: 29
    I'd definitely go with "stick". I heard this quote a while ago and it really stuck with me (and made me laugh):

    "Don't reward yourself with food. You're a person, not a puppy!"

    ....But you might want to consider just upping your calorie goal by 100-200 calories for a few weeks, if you're having a really hard time with it. If you set yourself a goal that is more realistic for your lifestyle it will be a lot easier to avoid binge cycles. Because you'll still be set to eat at a deficit (and you have an excellent workout regime!) you won't gain weight, and you might even lose faster because it'll be easier for you to stick to. Also, if you know you have a few more calories to work with, you might be able to eliminate or reduce your fear of being hungry. Just my 2 cents :)
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Don't even stop at the store. Or if you have to, go around the outside perimeter, which is where all of the less junky foods are. I'm the same way about junk at my desk. I literally ate my last bag of chocolate (I was eating about ten small candy bars a day and half bags of chocolates), and decided to stop bringing more. Sometimes I'll bring ONE small bar in my purse to eat after lunch. Bringing a few in for the rest of the week resulted in me eating five candy bars that day.
  • MerinneW
    MerinneW Posts: 71 Member
    Thank you all so much for your responses! I'm glad my 'Stick' plan isn't seen as too neurotic - I wish I had the willpower to just make up my mind and stick to it, but I just don't - time to get realistic about that and work with what I've got, I suppose!

    Sodamnhungry: Glad I'm not the only one for whom 'just one' can end up being the whole packet! :P Restriction of opportunity is clearly good advice, thank you.

    mmg0327: Thanks for your suggestions and your kind words about my exercise regime - as a chronically lazy person, I am so proud of what I have managed to build into my lifestyle over the last 4 months :-) And I actually like it!

    As of next week, that wallet is staying at HOME. Stick all the way! Thanks MFPs.
  • shoppie
    shoppie Posts: 618 Member
    Just wanted to say thank you for posting this, as what you describe is PRECISELY what I have been like for the last few months and it is making any loss so so slow and frustrating me beyond reason!! I'm thinking cutting myself off completely is the only way and then go back to trying to eat in moderation. ATM, I really don't think 'moderation' exists.
  • honu1811
    honu1811 Posts: 4
    I'm exactly the same. I don't know what the answer is, I've tried seemingly everything. My only hope is to find other friends who are going through the same thing and we can help one another.
  • Kimbreli
    Kimbreli Posts: 9
    You are definitly not alone! If I can resist, all is good. But if I can't resist, I can't do just one either. Everything is like Pringles: Once you pop you just can't stop. So a big thing for me that is harmful is when I am multi tasking. Say I get a snack while I read a book - I will eat that entire bag/box of whatever. But if I sit at the table and just give myself a portion, that's it. I'm good.

    Maybe if you tried making snacking a non-multittasking activity? I've tried that and it is helping a little bit. If I'm eating (snacks and meals), then that is all I am doing. I am not on the computer, I am not reading a book.

    Hang in there and let us all know how the Stick goes!
  • LorienCoffeeBean
    LorienCoffeeBean Posts: 227 Member
    everyone above already has great advice. one thing you could do with foods which you want to last the week, like bread, is portion it out into zip lock bags and freeze them. just have out what you have allotted for yourself for that day. same with chocolate treats, you could freeze them, then you cant eat them all at once.
    just an idea. you are so not alone. i cant buy chips AT ALL because i can not have one serving, i will mindlessly eat the whole damn bag
  • Amy8Lyn
    Amy8Lyn Posts: 27 Member
    To help me, I like to plan my cheat meal ahead of time. If I know it going out to eat I check the menu to see what I will order or thing about what my meal will be. Then all week long when I think about binging or making a bad choice I think about my upcoming cheat meal and how delicious it will be and how if I have something now, I can't have that fun cheat meal! This tends to up my willpower. It also helps me really appreciate my cheat meal and has helped me be more mindful in my eating. I now thing about what I'm eating and I really enjoy the taste and experience instead of shoving it in my face. I hope that helps! You never know what will work for ou unless you try it!


    Oh and I don't keep cash on me to ensure I stay away from the vending machines at work!
  • MerinneW
    MerinneW Posts: 71 Member
    @Kimbreli - that's a really good idea. If I'm eating as my Nan would have approved of - 'sitting up at table' - I tend to give my full attention to what I'm eating, and consequently eat less. But at work, I always eat lunch at my desk in front of the screen - makes the distinction between working and eating blurred, so then snacking all through the day becomes somehow habitual. If i made food an activity in and of itself, every time I ate (no eating on the move, in bed with a book, at my desk, in front of the TV) it might help a lot.

    @Lorien - another good idea, and good too because that means I would have to bring the food home, and own up to having bought it - I think the 'eating at work ' thing is a lot to do with the fact I have no-one to answer to there about what I'm stuffing into my gob... :P

    @Amy8Lyn - that sounds a lot like my 'Carrot'... trouble for me is that I almost always cave, and by then I've got myself so excited about the cheat that I have it anyway! Sometimes I think I really am beyond help :P But no ready cash seems to be the way forward. I used to be a lot better before chip and pin payment came in everywhere, or had those £5 or more restrictions - i'd keep no change in my purse, so buying something bad meant either breaking a note, or actually admitting what I was doing and getting cash out for the purpose. But now, you can buy anything on a card, and I find lots of little £1-3 payments on my bank statement at the end of the month :P

    @honu811 and shoppie - so glad I'm not the only one!
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    If you use positive reinforcement, use something other than food as your reward. Otherwise, you're just setting up a different unhealthy relationship with food.

    If you can't eat certain foods without binging, stop eating them at all for now, and reintroduce them slowly in appropriate portion sizes after some time has passed.

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