I was starving myself - Now I just had buttered cornbread!

I think next week the wife and I are going to a local "weight loss center", just for the RMR calculation. I'm having good success, but she is struggling while trying to find the right diet for her. I think her BMR calculation is *way* off, especially given that she has (treated with medication) hypothyroidism. I'll be there mostly for support, but I might as well know mine, too

Go to a doctor and not a weight loss clinic. Weight loss clinics are all about money and will push expensive fad diets that are proven not to work.

perhaps instead of "unhealthy" I should have said "indulgent and calorie-dense, with little nutritional value".

Otherwise, I mostly agree with what you're saying. The only part I take exception with is the denial part. Changing my junk-food eating ways has virutally eliminated my desire for such things. I want to see another few pounds drop off this week more than I want my entertain my tastebuds for a few minutes. Of course one treat isn't going to derail a weight loss effort, but I strongly believe that mindset it a huge part of success. Choosing to view those indulgent and calorie-dense, with little nutritional value foods as things that just plain do not belong in my body is not setting myself up for failure. It might work that way for some, but that's not true for everyone.

Just like when I'm laying on the weight bench and pressing the bar up towards the ceiling... I don't *have* to do it. it's not entertaining. It's hard work. It gets results, though... so I do it. I *want* those results, so I do what it takes to get them. That's how my psychology works... I don't consider it denial, either. Sure, watching a movie would be more fun. This is more important.

Sure, it is indulgent (in taste) and has limited variety but nutritionally a brownie provides xxx cals of energy and a variety of sugars that your brain can use as well as a bit of protein and oils that the cells are happy with. It isn't zero or even close to zero. That you choose other food is fine - just don't consider it nutrionally empty.

Mindset can be an important part of any effort - agreed. Different mindsets will get you there. There are fantastic examples of people here with really good results while eating, as a choice, ice cream every day. I personally eat a "significant amount" of chocolate every week - but I'm certainly *not* the success story yardstick. My point is not that at all that your methods is right or wrong but that the psychology of things has different leverage and that is the point where a variety of approachs might goet one to goal. The real issue isn't losing weight, although that might be true for some, the real issue is what is sustainable for someone long term - given that 95% of weight loss plans, diets and strategies fail what can you do, as a lifestyle change, that will keep it off until it becomes second nature.

For me, as a very social person, a lover of food and markets living in France and Germany, it's been volume and portion control and learning more about calorie density while still making Coquille St Jacques avec creme fraiche and Tarte Tatin (mussels in a creme and wine sauce and upsidown apple pie with creme) every so often, just fitting it in. I wouldn't be very friendly or even part of my family if I didn't partake a little.

For you it isn't - I get that. It's a strategy that many do not chose and it works for us.

I believe that we are here at different philosophies of life - stoicism versus epicurianism. We stand in a ring of opposite camps.
In your corner you have the modern arranged and structured life armed against the vagaries of pop-tarts and surprise cake, in my corner I call on the blatant indulgence of art, wine and feast.

Food can be art. But perhaps you have no place for that. That too, is fine. Different goals.



BTW - I enjoy lifting, and the results - if i didn't I wouldn't do it.

I am a tiny person. I DO N O T N E E D T O E A T M O R E!!!!! I am almost 57 years old. I have been doing this for YEARS and I know perfectly well what works for ME! ANd - it is not "yo yo dieting." Western people just go through cycles and life events and sometimes we gain weight and need to take it off. Please - no more of this preaching.

Starving myself was how I used to do it, because I thought that eating as little as possible, getting the weight loss DONE, and then going about my business was what I needed to do. What really happened was that when it came time for maintenance I went back to my old ways and gained it all back and then some. Once I realized that there is actually no endpoint to this process, it was both depressing AND freeing.

I figured out my TDEE at my goal weight and said, ok self, this is how you get to eat now. Period. You need to figure out how to make this work with holidays, and traveling, when life's stuff hits the fan, and when you are bored/sad/in a rut/grumpy/what.ev.er. To make it sustainable long-term, the first things that dropped--the idea that I would constantly deprive myself, and that I needed to eat completely differently. Do I try to add more vegetables now and work on my fiber and sodium? Yes. Do I keep my macros within ranges that help keep me satisfied? Yes. Do I say I cannot eat pizza or cornbread with butter? No way. The losing weight part is just a very long practice run for the real work of maintenance, and as long as I see it that way I keep the focus in the right place...moderation.

bump to read later :happy:

Thanks for your posts joshdann.

Eating more calories (i.e. the mythical TDEE-20%) is never, ever physically required. Science supports this.

I could eat at 1200 and lose 2 pounds a week but...well, what the hell for. The joy of eating less? Lol?

TDEE isn't a myth. Ever hear of the Law of Thermogenesis? Science.




And yeah, I lost over two pounds a week for the first 60 pounds. (Eating 1800/day, not 1200) Once I got down to 200, I decided to slow it down. My body, my choice. Personally, I think the mindset that food is only for fuel and not intended to be pleasurable is a sign of disordered eating.

bump to read later