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    Convincing a loved one to get started

    Posts: 34 Member
    edited November 2023 in Getting Started
    I love my 26 yo daughter unconditionally. Since graduating high school she has gained a lot of weight. She went off to college and gained the freshman 15, then the sophomore 15, junior 15 ....... sigh. Also in the process we lost my wife (her mom) suddenly. I have tried to get her jump started by paying for personal training the summer before her final year in school. Any advice on how I can motivate her to take this seriously for her well-being? She is pushing 200#, if not there already, and is only 5'4" tall.

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    Replies

    • Posts: 325 Member
      I'm sorry about the loss of your wife.

      All you can do is lead by example.
      You can't make her want to lose weight or get fit.
    • Posts: 1,580 Member
      Paying for the personal trainer is a great gesture. If you talk to her, I would say that you're concerned about her creating long-term health problems for herself. But she'll either decide to do it or she won't.

      Maybe you should offer to pay for some therapy as well. Losing her mother has almost certainly made matters worse.
    • Posts: 156 Member
      I''m sorry for your loss. I also completely understand your concern. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do it lead by example.

      Both my husband and mother are obese (mom is morbidly obese). Both of them have health problems. While the health issues are not a direct result of their weight, the weight do not help the situation. It's frustrating for me, but until they want to make the change themselves there really isn't anything you can do.

      While I was never overweight (although pretty darn close), my own weight loss has inspired my DH to makes some changes. I'm not thrilled with his plan, at least he is heading in the direction.

      My mom just prefers to complain and not do anything about the situation. It's hard to watch the destructive behavior, but there is nothing we can do. She has to want it herself.
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