mom just passed away & I need support/more friends, pls

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annbillingsley
annbillingsley Posts: 60 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi all!

My name is Ann and I am a 38 yr old mother of two wonderful boys age 6 and 12. In the last 3.5 years, I have had several devastating life changes occur and I am finding it difficult to get back on the wagon to a healthier and fitter me. April of 2010 my father, who was my hero, passed away at the age of 64 due to a heart attack. January of 2011, my mentally/emotionally abusive husband of 10.5 years left me for another woman and has been using the children as leverage and a tool of control since he left. and August 15, just 1.5 weeks ago, my mother passed after years of suffering.

At this point, I don't feel like doing anything, cooking anything, and certainly do not feel like measuring everything out and recording it.

I am reaching out for friends right now, because I took a few months off during the summer and my friends list dwindled. I need the help and encouragement, but be warned it may take me a bit to be as active on your profiles as you are on mine. I am sorry about that in advance!

Thanks to everyone!

Replies

  • 4Snitch
    4Snitch Posts: 9
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    Ann,

    I know this might sound cliche', but don't give up. I really do understand what you are going through

    Last July, my long time (10 years)companion dog passed away suddenly, my mother, who had Rapidly Progressing Alzheimer's passed away in my arm's when we were out to dinner on Patriot's Day, 11 Sept 2013.
    My husband told me that he had "touched" my daughter-his step-daughter about 10-12 years ago.
    I am a child of incest and rape, so this completely devastated me.
    I divorced Jon in January.
    In June, my longest best friend (Andrea) died a few hours after I spoke to her one night-
    I found out Friday her sisters think Charlie (her husband, just out of jail) pushed her and killed her.

    I tell you this, so you will know I do understand, and I am living through it. I am doing it because I have the support of wonderful Christian friends I have met on here, and my faith in Jesus.

    I draw on my faith from the Lord Jesus Christ, who has told me He would never leave me, nor forsake me.

    I will be happy to be your friend, and help you get through this, if you have the need for a Christian friend.

    God Bless you abundantly,
    Nicolette
  • GBRhusker
    GBRhusker Posts: 32 Member
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    Sorry to hear all this news Ann. Although it pales in comparison, I too, lost my dad in july this year. I wanted to share this one thing with you though, to get to the point, which will hopefully help you to mobilize your new efforts toward healthy living: I used my loss to spur myself on to live the best life I can in honor of my dad. No, I don't really believe he is "up there" (with my mom) looking down on me and smiling with pride. I think when it's over, it's over. But, I also believe in preparing my children for a life of srength, to set the stage for THEIR lives of healthy living, and to suck the very marrow from the blood of life and all it has to offer. I have suffered (genetically derived) from depression all my life. See a good doctor, that stuff really works. Delve into yourself and examine your core, be honest and be ready to move. I suggest Wayne Dyer books and tapes. And yell anytime you need an honest and gentle friend. Best regards & luck.
    Dave
  • annbillingsley
    annbillingsley Posts: 60 Member
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    Thank you Nicolette! I am sorry for your losses as well!
  • annbillingsley
    annbillingsley Posts: 60 Member
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    Sorry to hear all this news Ann. Although it pales in comparison, I too, lost my dad in july this year. I wanted to share this one thing with you though, to get to the point, which will hopefully help you to mobilize your new efforts toward healthy living: I used my loss to spur myself on to live the best life I can in honor of my dad. No, I don't really believe he is "up there" (with my mom) looking down on me and smiling with pride. I think when it's over, it's over. But, I also believe in preparing my children for a life of srength, to set the stage for THEIR lives of healthy living, and to suck the very marrow from the blood of life and all it has to offer. I have suffered (genetically derived) from depression all my life. See a good doctor, that stuff really works. Delve into yourself and examine your core, be honest and be ready to move. I suggest Wayne Dyer books and tapes. And yell anytime you need an honest and gentle friend. Best regards & luck.
    Dave

    Thank you, Dave.

    I also think when it ends, it ends. I just came back from a walk and before I did, my self-talk was geared toward making my mom proud of me. I had been losing weight until May, when too much "life" happened and I didn't have enough energy to pay attention to everything. I gained 20 of the 30 I just lost in the 2.5 months I was off track. The weather is getting cooler...the kids will be going off to school....and life will slowly return to a routine. I am hoping that will help me tremendously. I am already seeing a counselor and have been for a couple years now. I know this is only a bump in the road, but it sure is one heck of a bump!
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
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    Oh Ann I don't have any words of wisdom. Sometimes life bites you in the *kitten*, and it's just not fair. All I can say is that you have to grieve, but you absolutely have to keep getting back up and fighting for your own life. Your parents would have wanted it, and it will keep you healthier for your custody fight. Baby steps. Get through today having done one great thing for yourself (like working out). I am so sorry for your loss. =(
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
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    So sorry to hear that. My dad passed away on 15th. I'm concentrating on eating well so I feel better and am planning to do a sponsored fitness event for the Lewy Bodydementia charity which is what he died of.
  • Regan45
    Regan45 Posts: 191 Member
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    So sorry to hear about your parents. I still have both of mine and can't imagine life without them. But you do still have beautiful children who need you and need you to be at your best. If you feel physically well, you're more apt to feel mentally well. Feel free to add me. I would be happy to to support and encourage!
  • cpego1
    cpego1 Posts: 39 Member
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    So sorry to hear about your parents. I lost my dad 3 years ago and it just seems like yesterday. I miss him terribly. Feel free to add me as a friend. I will be there for you and I know you can get back into this. I saw someone suggested the Dwyer tapes. Those would be awesome for you. He is such an awesome speaker Again feel free to add me as a friend.
  • hwoeltjen
    hwoeltjen Posts: 199 Member
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    You've already lost 59 pounds...you are a winner already. Just as you lost the 59 pounds...you'll get through this as well. It's tough, I lost my mother to suicide. However, as they say...time heals everything. That sounds really corny but its very true.

    Keep moving forward. That's the best advice I can give. Hugs :).
  • Nenny1985
    Nenny1985 Posts: 122
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    So sorry to hear about your tough run Ann. I've sent you a request

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