On my 21st...
jess1992uga
Posts: 603 Member
I will allow myself cake!
So a little background here...I am 21 today and have had an eating disorder since the age of 6. Started with binge eating disorder, then non-purge bulimia and anorexia (did overexercising to purge, no binging), and then straight anorexia, and then back to non-purge type bulimia and anorexia (again overexercise but no binging). So it's been rough. I have really commited to recovery in the past few weeks and am working with an amazing team. This past week I let go of all control and ate TONS of fear foods such as steel cut oats, mahi-mahi, yeast rolls, pecans, peanut butter....there were a lot (I have over 200). Well...tonight is going to be the biggest one yet.
Tonight, on my 21st birthday, I am going to have b-day cake. This will be the 1st time in my WHOLE LIFE I am "allowed" to eat cake from a restaraunt (my mom had me on diets from age of 7 on and thus these foods were off limits) and the 1st time having cake on my b-day since the age of 14. I know for some this wouldn't be a victory or wouldn't be a success, but for me it is. And my nutritionist is making me do it the "normal" way. Basically I have to eat my whole meal plan and do the cake as an extra. She assures me I won't gain weight from this...and I am hopeful to see that as true...because even with all the fear foods this past week and the fact I am on a weight gain plan, my weight has stayed exactly the same. I am learning to trust my body for once...so this cake isn't just going to celebrate the fact I have survived 21 years of my life, but it will also be a celebration of the EXPERIENCE of life and recovery I hope to have for years to come!
Oh and if you are interested in learning about eating disorders...I write my true, honest story on my blog:
http://freedomhunger.blogspot.com
So a little background here...I am 21 today and have had an eating disorder since the age of 6. Started with binge eating disorder, then non-purge bulimia and anorexia (did overexercising to purge, no binging), and then straight anorexia, and then back to non-purge type bulimia and anorexia (again overexercise but no binging). So it's been rough. I have really commited to recovery in the past few weeks and am working with an amazing team. This past week I let go of all control and ate TONS of fear foods such as steel cut oats, mahi-mahi, yeast rolls, pecans, peanut butter....there were a lot (I have over 200). Well...tonight is going to be the biggest one yet.
Tonight, on my 21st birthday, I am going to have b-day cake. This will be the 1st time in my WHOLE LIFE I am "allowed" to eat cake from a restaraunt (my mom had me on diets from age of 7 on and thus these foods were off limits) and the 1st time having cake on my b-day since the age of 14. I know for some this wouldn't be a victory or wouldn't be a success, but for me it is. And my nutritionist is making me do it the "normal" way. Basically I have to eat my whole meal plan and do the cake as an extra. She assures me I won't gain weight from this...and I am hopeful to see that as true...because even with all the fear foods this past week and the fact I am on a weight gain plan, my weight has stayed exactly the same. I am learning to trust my body for once...so this cake isn't just going to celebrate the fact I have survived 21 years of my life, but it will also be a celebration of the EXPERIENCE of life and recovery I hope to have for years to come!
Oh and if you are interested in learning about eating disorders...I write my true, honest story on my blog:
http://freedomhunger.blogspot.com
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Replies
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You are one badass lady! Firstly, happy 21st birthday. :-) I have had friends who have went to battle with their bodies through eating disorders. I don't know you personally, but let me say I am so very proud of you for fighting! Keep up the fear-fighting. You can do this!0
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Thanks so much!0
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My most sincere congratulations! I know how difficult it is to beat those fears as I'm currently helping my best friend throughout it! Keep up the amazing progress and enjoy your birthday :flowerforyou: !0
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Happy Birthday sweetheart! Keep it up! Food is our friend, our fuel so we can be healthy. Enjoy your cake
it is worth to taste it ahahah Congratulations for your progress 0 -
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Thanks so much for sharing your story. I am so happy for you that you're taking control of your life in a more healthy way. I hope you love your cake!
Also, I love your inspiration list on your profile. I think it's awesome that you want to be a vet. You can do this.0 -
Thanks everyone! This means a lot!0
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Great story, thanks for sharing.0
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We're birthday twins!
Happy Birthday and congratulations on such amazing progress with your eating disorder!0 -
Well I did it and here is the play-by-play and TONS of pics!
http://freedomhunger.blogspot.com/2013/08/trully-happy-21st-b-day.html0 -
Happy 21st! Enjoy that cake. You deserve it.0
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MHMM YUMMY CAKE!! 0
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Well I did it and here is the play-by-play and TONS of pics!
http://freedomhunger.blogspot.com/2013/08/trully-happy-21st-b-day.html
I'm so proud of you and this victory and I'm thrilled that you really liked it on top of everything else! Thanks for sharing your blog.
Only one question remains: "What in the world is hummingbird cake?" lol0 -
That's awesome!!! SO glad u got 2 enjoy sum cake!!! It's too delish 2 not have ever tried it!!! Ur VERY brave 2 be facing ur ED head on like this!!! Keep up the hard work & I wish u the very best in life & possibly more b-day cake in the future!!! Keep kikn ur ED in the bootaaaaay!!!0
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