I could really use some validation

What kind of dog? Different people have different dogs, and the type of dog they have is a window into their personality type. I'm a Lab/Retriever guy, so if my dog get's sprayed, I hose her down and bathe her outside. My aunt has a couple Pomeranians, if they get sprayed my uncle is sleeping outside and incurring the wrath in the morning much like you did.

I'm willing to bet based on your story that your husband is a "girly-man" and your dog likely weighs less than 20 pounds and might even have curly hair. If this is the case, you're not really right or wrong, you're just the man in the relationship so to speak.

Now, if you have a big dog, you're definitely right in my book, though you should have helped bathe the dog either way, even if you disagree with the place it's being done. Your dog shouldn't suffer because of your troubles with your SO.

Rigger

I think you both handled it wrong. Honestly letting the dog in at the last minute or not would not have made a difference, the house would have stunk anyway. I would have bathed him outside, but I would definitely have helped. The bottom line is that you're pissed that the house stank (I would be too) and he's pissed that he had to handle washing the dog alone (I would be too).

Bottom line, you guys handled it poorly and would probably benefit from couple counseling. I'm not judging though, my husband and I have handled some emergency situations pretty badly too.

ETA: read your last post, yeah, if he didn't want to wash him outside I'd be extremely pissed too!

Well, if you have a retriever then you're right in my book and your husband is a bit of a girl. No offense.

Rigger

Why the assumption that her partner isn't a woman?

Edited to add that I did not intend to imply anything other than assumptions can lead to offense.

I just assumed too, lol, although I had doubts

Well, if you have a retriever then you're right in my book and your husband is a bit of a girl. No offense.

Rigger

Why the assumption that her partner isn't a woman?

Very perceptive of you beekay! :flowerforyou:

Oops, for some reason I thought I read "he" in there somewhere, sorry about that. It makes sense though now that I think about it. In any case, what I said still stands regardless of sex.

ETA: After reading that again the dog was the "he" I saw. Again, apologies.

Rigger

Humans > dogs. Sorry dog people. The dog would have stayed outside until he was cleaned up, for sure. Luckily my boyfriend would have completely agreed with me.

What's with the, "You're both wrong" statements. The problem we have today is that people are willing to walk around without accepting blame for their actions with absolutely no personal responsibility. Then, when the next silly emotional outbreak occurs, the people feel that they can get away with it, and the other will just have to accept their bad behavior. After all, they can't help themselves and we are both wrong all the time. Utter nonsense.

Note to others, there are people out there that need a bit of introspection or they will continue with bad behavior. There are people out there who will continue to take more than their 50% of their relationship until told "No".

The smelly dog should have been left outside to be washed. if you don't allow them to defecate in your home, then you certainly aren't going to allow a smelly skunk sprayed dog into your home.

Let's also be clear. It is a dog. If it weren't for your caring, it would be outside and happy to be there. It is an animal that has instincts for being outside naturally.

I love dogs, and I understand the human/dog relationship. However, dogs are not human, they wash themselves with their tongue, they have emotions but not to the extent as yours or mine, they have feelings, but not as intense as yours or mine. They do not have the same capacity and range of emotions that you and I have. You wouldn't have hurt it's feelings by keeping it outside while you washed it before you brought it back into the house. It would have shown the same love and affection the next day whether or not you washed it inside or outside.

If it ran through a cow pasture, with mud and manure, would you wash the dog outside before it came into the house? If your partner ran through the mud, would you ask them to take their shoes off and undress before they came into the house? If the answer is yes, then you have your answer.

Someone was looking for a fight, they found the trigger with the dog issue and used it to promote the fight.

You have deeper issues going on than the dog. Seeking counselling is not always the best solution either, I have met a few counselors with their own emotional baggage, willing to find themselves in your relationship and continue to perpetuate their own problems.

Find yourself, know what you want, and demand that you are treated fairly. If you want 50% of the relationship and the respect, you have to have 50% of the responsibility to demand it.

Just my two cents.. It was free to ignore.

What's with the, "You're both wrong" statements. The problem we have today is that people are willing to walk around without accepting blame for their actions with absolutely no personal responsibility. Then, when the next silly emotional outbreak occurs, the people feel that they can get away with it, and the other will just have to accept their bad behavior. After all, they can't help themselves and we are both wrong all the time. Utter nonsense.

Note to others, there are people out there that need a bit of introspection or they will continue with bad behavior. There are people out there who will continue to take more than their 50% of their relationship until told "No".

The smelly dog should have been left outside to be washed. if you don't allow them to defecate in your home, then you certainly aren't going to allow a smelly skunk sprayed dog into your home.

Let's also be clear. It is a dog. If it weren't for your caring, it would be outside and happy to be there. It is an animal that has instincts for being outside naturally.

I love dogs, and I understand the human/dog relationship. However, dogs are not human, they wash themselves with their tongue, they have emotions but not to the extent as yours or mine, they have feelings, but not as intense as yours or mine. They do not have the same capacity and range of emotions that you and I have. You wouldn't have hurt it's feelings by keeping it outside while you washed it before you brought it back into the house. It would have shown the same love and affection the next day whether or not you washed it inside or outside.

If it ran through a cow pasture, with mud and manure, would you wash the dog outside before it came into the house? If your partner ran through the mud, would you ask them to take their shoes off and undress before they came into the house? If the answer is yes, then you have your answer.

Someone was looking for a fight, they found the trigger with the dog issue and used it to promote the fight.

You have deeper issues going on than the dog. Seeking counselling is not always the best solution either, I have met a few counselors with their own emotional baggage, willing to find themselves in your relationship and continue to perpetuate their own problems.

Find yourself, know what you want, and demand that you are treated fairly. If you want 50% of the relationship and the respect, you have to have 50% of the responsibility to demand it.

Just my two cents.. It was free to ignore.

These were my thoughts entirely on the subject.

Humans > dogs. Sorry dog people. The dog would have stayed outside until he was cleaned up, for sure. Luckily my boyfriend would have completely agreed with me.

And I would have agreed with you too. Its a dog. Sprayed by a skunk? The dog would be outside all night until I could call off work the next day and care of it. Yup, I would be the one taking care of it as usual since that would normally be a role that I fill.

It sounds like in your house there isnt any order or specific roles that one or the other would generally take care of? Maybe I am old fashioned but when someone knows its always their job to take out the trash, the trash always gets taken out; its one less thing for 2 people to have pointing a finger at each other.