Just a rant.....
It really erks me that a lot of my family and friends, who know and witnessed what I have gone through and how long a journey it has been for me to loose over 120 pounds, try to push me into "tasting this" or "just give in this once" or constantly offer me and basically rub my nose in foods that everyone knows are not healthy. In one breath someone is telling me how proud they are of me and how great I look now, then a few moments later, that same person is trying to shove a cheeseburger in my face. Most of the time I refuse, but I do give in at times and that makes me feel awful. I know it's up to me to resist, and when I do give in it's nobodies fault but my own, but sometimes I feel like others are trying to set me up to fail just because they don't live healthy. This is the main reason I don't hang out with people and stay to myself most of the time..... How does everyone else deal / handle this pressure?? I have tried the straight forward messages of "I dont eat like that anymore." etc etc....
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I try to look at it from a positive angle. If someone tries to give me something I don't/shouldn't eat, I thank God for the opportunity once again to prove my strength and will power. I convince myself it's a challenge, and a test of wills. I don't have that much to lose, but this has worked for me with cigarettes and booze, too. I was just recently told that I could have a few drinks, that my fiance would make sure I didn't get "too crazy". That was a tough one to turn down but I just said thanks, I can't put that on you.0
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I don't know about you, but since I stopped eating so much fat, my stomach hates it. So I tell people, no I can't my stomach doesn't like the grease. I am also lactose intolerant, so another excuse is "I ran out of lactaid".
Of course there are times I splurged, but really my stomach reacts.
FYI, they do not wish to see you fail, they are trying to make themselves feel better for eating. They believe that your success is a reflection on their lack of success. They want to prove to themselves that they are not failures. I actually know someone who ended up divorced and one of the problems was that she didn't eat real food anymore, meaning Fried chicken and french fires. She also didn't want to sit on the couch for 12 hours and play video games eating chips.
People feel better about bad choices when others make them with them.0 -
I act like a grown up.
Your family isn't trying to hurt you, or ruin your success.
You can still indulge on the treats...0 -
it sucks. I know. I have learned just to smile and push the food aside or say something like ya, that looks good but I have worked to hard for this body. Enjoy! I am about to go visit family and KNOW its gonna be rough. All of them are a little overweight, okay, a lot overweight and there idea of fun is to sit and eat Doritos and beer! Sabotage always happens when people are intimidated by what we have accomplished and if we think back to the time before we begin this journey we are probably guilty of it ourselves. Usually, when I am out with friends or family there is one family member that is very supportive. Sometimes I slide the food over to them and they either eat it or get rid of it for me. LOL. true friends I guess.
also, btw, congrats on what you have accomplished, awesome job!0 -
If youve lost 120lbs dont you think you deserve to eat some of the things that you enjoy every once in awhile? Im no genius but I would take a guess and say you know what you can and cant eat on a typical day in order to maintain what you have worked so hard to achieve. So if it fits into your day thats great. If family are always trying to stuff your face with things you dont really want because you really dont feel like eating them or they dont fit into your plan that day then its a simple case of sabotage. I agree with the OP that I think some people get off on seeing what people who have lost weight do when offering them foods that has a bad stigma. These people here at my work do it all the time.
OP you think you are being straight forward, but you really are not. You are still being nice, while they are not being very nice to you. I tell my coworkers to screw themselves and Im not eating any of the crap they offer me because the main reason why i lost weight is because I stopped going to lunch with them. While it may or may not be entirely true, the look on their faces is priceless and after the first 3, 4 times of doing that, they quit offering me anything to eat.0 -
It really erks me that a lot of my family and friends, who know and witnessed what I have gone through and how long a journey it has been for me to loose over 120 pounds, try to push me into "tasting this" or "just give in this once" or constantly offer me and basically rub my nose in foods that everyone knows are not healthy. In one breath someone is telling me how proud they are of me and how great I look now, then a few moments later, that same person is trying to shove a cheeseburger in my face. Most of the time I refuse, but I do give in at times and that makes me feel awful. I know it's up to me to resist, and when I do give in it's nobodies fault but my own, but sometimes I feel like others are trying to set me up to fail just because they don't live healthy. This is the main reason I don't hang out with people and stay to myself most of the time..... How does everyone else deal / handle this pressure?? I have tried the straight forward messages of "I dont eat like that anymore." etc etc....
First off, great work on losing 120 pounds. That does take a lot of hard work, and you're awesome.
Second, IMNSHO, I don't think there are unhealthy foods. Just unhealthy eating patterns. What is it about a cheeseburger that makes it "unhealthy"? Yes, if you eat three cheeseburgers in one sitting, and do this frequently, you may have issues with it. However, a single cheeseburger once in a while is not a bad thing in and of itself.
The only time I can see a food being unhealthy for you is if you have an illness, and that food could exasperate it. People with sodium dependent hypertension, should avoid foods high in sodium. People with hyperlipidemia should avoid fatty foods. People with diabetes, should count their carbs.
However, someone in good health, who is not overeating and exercising properly should be able to take any food they want in proper quantity, and eat it as long as they are eating a balanced diet and getting all of their nutrients.
If you still insist on not eating something because you do not want to, say so. I frequently tell my coworkers no when they insist I eat their crap they bring in. They always try to get me to take it, and I just explain that I would rather eat a bunch of food, and be satiated all day long than to eat one chunk of the giant cookie, and then debate not eating as much at supper that evening. They don't even bother bugging me about those things anymore. They just let me know it is available, and know I will make my own choices.0 -
It really erks me that a lot of my family and friends, who know and witnessed what I have gone through and how long a journey it has been for me to loose over 120 pounds, try to push me into "tasting this" or "just give in this once" or constantly offer me and basically rub my nose in foods that everyone knows are not healthy. In one breath someone is telling me how proud they are of me and how great I look now, then a few moments later, that same person is trying to shove a cheeseburger in my face. Most of the time I refuse, but I do give in at times and that makes me feel awful. I know it's up to me to resist, and when I do give in it's nobodies fault but my own, but sometimes I feel like others are trying to set me up to fail just because they don't live healthy. This is the main reason I don't hang out with people and stay to myself most of the time..... How does everyone else deal / handle this pressure?? I have tried the straight forward messages of "I dont eat like that anymore." etc etc....
First off, great work on losing 120 pounds. That does take a lot of hard work, and you're awesome.
Second, IMNSHO, I don't think there are unhealthy foods. Just unhealthy eating patterns. What is it about a cheeseburger that makes it "unhealthy"? Yes, if you eat three cheeseburgers in one sitting, and do this frequently, you may have issues with it. However, a single cheeseburger once in a while is not a bad thing in and of itself.
The only time I can see a food being unhealthy for you is if you have an illness, and that food could exasperate it. People with sodium dependent hypertension, should avoid foods high in sodium. People with hyperlipidemia should avoid fatty foods. People with diabetes, should count their carbs.
However, someone in good health, who is not overeating and exercising properly should be able to take any food they want in proper quantity, and eat it as long as they are eating a balanced diet and getting all of their nutrients.
If you still insist on not eating something because you do not want to, say so. I frequently tell my coworkers no when they insist I eat their crap they bring in. They always try to get me to take it, and I just explain that I would rather eat a bunch of food, and be satiated all day long than to eat one chunk of the giant cookie, and then debate not eating as much at supper that evening. They don't even bother bugging me about those things anymore. They just let me know it is available, and know I will make my own choices.
This. I agree that there is no unhealthy food, it's unhealthy eating habits.0 -
Congrats on your loss!
I don't believe in restricting my diet, I eat cheeseburgers and cake and pizza and ice cream if I want it or it's offered to me. Especially if I am a guest in someone's home or was invited out by the people offering me the food.
If you don't want it then don't eat it but if someone is offering you a mouthful of something to try, that won't hurt your loss so far.0 -
I act like a grown up.
Your family isn't trying to hurt you, or ruin your success.
You can still indulge on the treats...
Yes! Yes, a grown up; master of your own destiny! I like that! Very original for this venue.0 -
Congrats on the weight loss. I know how you feel because I go through it every day. But hang strong, if you don't want to eat it don't. And be firm if you have too. But if you want to indulge on occasion don't feel guilty. You have come a very long way on the weight loss and should be proud. (of course don't over do it if you want to maintain your current weight or loss).
congrats again.
thequiltmama0 -
120 lbs is awesome.
I don't have people that shove food in my face because.....who does that? If I did they would probably be walking away with a broken pinkie, but I'm a mean person and they know this. Maybe that's why they don't shove food in my face?0 -
I look at those moments as mini-challenges...kind of like a drug addict walking past the dealer on the corner...I can't control what is going to get pushed at me, but I can absolutely overcome the challenge and say NO...it's very empowering for me, I feel invincible when I can politely refuse that cake or milkshake or whatever.0
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I feel like others are trying to set me up to fail just because they don't live healthy. This is the main reason I don't hang out with people and stay to myself most of the time.....
hermit =/= healthy living
I live healthy probably 90% of the time. I work out 4 - 5 times a week and eat well. The other 10% is beer and chicken wings, wine and steak, fried bar food and even a little ice cream every now and then. I have tons of family/friends that eat like pigs, smoke like freight trains and drink like fish ALL THE TIME. Doesn't mean I have to follow their lead and I'm a strong enough person that someone waving a piece of cake in front of my face doesn't bother me in the least. I throw out a simple "no thank you" and then move on.0 -
I act like a grown up.
Your family isn't trying to hurt you, or ruin your success.
You can still indulge on the treats...
Yes! Yes, a grown up; master of your own destiny! I like that! Very original for this venue.
Yea, you might have to be 18+ to join this site, but a lot of people don't act like it.0 -
You look amazing. You really show starting hanging out with people. Be proud and show it!!!:flowerforyou:0
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First and foremost, congrats on losing so much weight! That's awesome! I don't think your family and friends are trying to purposely sabotage your efforts though, I'm sure they're just as proud and want you to succeed in your weight loss goals. Delicious food is just one of life's simple pleasures which is why people often like to share it or ask you to sample a tempting treat. We use it to nourish our bodies, to seek pleasure, to satisfy. I personally think there's not any reason to ever COMPLETELY give up the good things in life, it's just a matter of learning how to enjoy everything in moderation which 9 times out of 10 is what we never previously knew how to do and how we gained that extra weight in the first place. I've been overweight since childhood because I wasn't taught moderation or how to balance out my diet WITH exercise but I'm learning now. I still enjoy the occasional treat and never say no when a friend or family member wants me to try a new recipe but then I remind myself I might need to do a bit of extra working out later to balance it all out again.
Keep up the great work but seeing your friends and family as trying to sabotage your diet probably isn't very helpful. 0 -
People get so close to my mouth with things when I'm telling them no repeatedly that it actually feels like they're going to shove it right in haha!! It gets out of hand. Sometimes I just don't want to taste something - I'm not hungry, or I just don't WANT anything at the moment, maybe I just brushed my teeth!! Geez!!
That's not to say I sheild myself from the things I crave, but some family members are just so pushy!! My boyfriend is too, although he doesn't mean to, he just has a constant craving for terrible food :P0 -
^^^^^^^^^^this
FYI, they do not wish to see you fail, they are trying to make themselves feel better for eating. They believe that your success is a reflection on their lack of success. They want to prove to themselves that they are not failures. I actually know someone who ended up divorced and one of the problems was that she didn't eat real food anymore, meaning Fried chicken and french fires. She also didn't want to sit on the couch for 12 hours and play video games eating chips.
People feel better about bad choices when others make them with them.0 -
I know what you mean, if you decline some food some people look at you like you just did something wrong or dirty. I had an ex boss who insisted on buying cream cakes every day when I started weight watchers, and lost 30lbs, and she would literally push them in y face and do all she could to get me to eat one. She went nuts one day when I declined again, and shouted at me that I was starving myself!! I actually walked out of the job over it. :explode:
Wtf it has to do with anyone what you eat, as long as you are safe and taking care of yourself, I will never know.0 -
Congratulations!!!! They just don't want to be alone in indulging in their bad habits - like drug habits. Sometimes you have to change your environment. See them for a few and then roll out. Its unfortunate, but true.0
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People feel better about bad choices when others make them with them.
^^^^^ This0 -
Thanks guys!! Some GREAT words of wisdom and advice!!
I do enjoy some of my favorites every now and then. Usually on a special occasion, like a birthday or holiday or something. Or when my wife and I take a night out together. So I am not living without these things completely. What bothers me is when people "peer pressure" (for lack of better wording) me into going out or eating what they are. I was always overweight until 2010. And it was a moderation issue combined with not eating healthy foods. And as a former "food addict" I think it will always be a constant battle to stay on the wagon. I am a strong and determined man and I know I can do it, and I'm not asking everyone around me to change their lifestyles to suit me because being healthy has to be each persons choice, it wont work if you change just for someone else. But don't constantly ask me if I want pizza, cake, fried foods, brownies, milk shakes etc when I am always saying that I don't want these things and that its like waving booze in front of a member of AA. And definitely don't specifically buy me something from a fast food joint just because you stopped and got yourself something. I am an adult and I do say no and it's usually not a problem for me or the person offering. But sometimes after numerous offers, I say what the heck and give in. It doesn't, and hasn't killed my progress yet and I know once every now and then wont kill it, but it makes me feel like a recovering junkie who was 100 days sober and had a relapse.
Again, thanks for all the advice so far, it is really helpful!!!!0 -
IMO, breaking bread/sharing a meal/going to dinner/making dinner for and with someone is the utmost of compliments and camaraderie in life. When I go to dinner with someone (family and friends alike), I treat it as one of life's best treasures. Next to the weather, eating is what everyone has in common.
My thought is some people don't realize this themselves, and associate with trying food, tasting food and eating food as a symbol of sharing in one of its most highest forms. Of course they see you as successful, and in their eyes, they want to share the success with you, and are convinced that one little taste is not going to change or alter your course. What they don't see is if and when you do this many times over for each person and request, that is when bad habits form.
Keeping chugging away...instead of saying no, try saying you will try it later. Divert from the question. That is what works for me.0
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