How to avoid falling into unhealthy relationship with food
nerakma
Posts: 77 Member
I wonder whether anyone has any tips/words of wisdom/experiences of how to avoid forming unhealthy eating habits?
Recently I have found myself going down a road I shouldn't follow. It wasn't about losing weight to start with, as I am fairly slim anyway.
It started as a control thing; controlling what I ate made me feel more in control (something out of my control had upset me).
Then I found a sense of achievement when my calorie count was lower than the target calories, which made me want to cut them more - kinda like my competitive spirit kicked in.
Then I started to feel that hitting my target calories for a day was like a failure in some way.
So I exercised (running) to earn more calories.
Then I noticed I had lost weight, which gave me a bit of a buzz, so I started getting on the scales to check my progress.
Then I started to feel I needed to go for a run to allow myself to eat a meal and feeling bad if I don't go for a run.
I also don't like eating anything which doesn't either have the calorie content written on it, or that I can weigh the ingredients myself.
I think about food a lot, have started to lke feeling hungry, avoid social situations involving food (or exercise and eat little in advance) and often tell people I am not hungry/had a big lunch/ate already/etc.
all this has happened over the course of this month and I feel like I am choosing to do this, so can decide to stop at any time. I just need to want to. However, I do realise that if I continue like this its not healthy and could become a real problem if I allow it to become a habit.
I do have a habit of becoming a bit obsessive over things, but they are usually just phases which pass after a day or two, so I thought the food thing would be the same at first.
I am averaging net calories between 500 and 1200 a day, with a target of 1200, so I am eating, just not quite enough.
anyone have any experience of this?
Recently I have found myself going down a road I shouldn't follow. It wasn't about losing weight to start with, as I am fairly slim anyway.
It started as a control thing; controlling what I ate made me feel more in control (something out of my control had upset me).
Then I found a sense of achievement when my calorie count was lower than the target calories, which made me want to cut them more - kinda like my competitive spirit kicked in.
Then I started to feel that hitting my target calories for a day was like a failure in some way.
So I exercised (running) to earn more calories.
Then I noticed I had lost weight, which gave me a bit of a buzz, so I started getting on the scales to check my progress.
Then I started to feel I needed to go for a run to allow myself to eat a meal and feeling bad if I don't go for a run.
I also don't like eating anything which doesn't either have the calorie content written on it, or that I can weigh the ingredients myself.
I think about food a lot, have started to lke feeling hungry, avoid social situations involving food (or exercise and eat little in advance) and often tell people I am not hungry/had a big lunch/ate already/etc.
all this has happened over the course of this month and I feel like I am choosing to do this, so can decide to stop at any time. I just need to want to. However, I do realise that if I continue like this its not healthy and could become a real problem if I allow it to become a habit.
I do have a habit of becoming a bit obsessive over things, but they are usually just phases which pass after a day or two, so I thought the food thing would be the same at first.
I am averaging net calories between 500 and 1200 a day, with a target of 1200, so I am eating, just not quite enough.
anyone have any experience of this?
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Replies
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I can't give you any practical advice but I can say that you are wise and self-aware to notice the changes. You are correct - that is an unhealthy relationship with food. Hopefully others with similar experiences can chime in here and tell you what they did to make things better!0
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I wonder whether anyone has any tips/words of wisdom/experiences of how to avoid forming unhealthy eating habits?
Recently I have found myself going down a road I shouldn't follow. It wasn't about losing weight to start with, as I am fairly slim anyway.
It started as a control thing; controlling what I ate made me feel more in control (something out of my control had upset me).
Then I found a sense of achievement when my calorie count was lower than the target calories, which made me want to cut them more - kinda like my competitive spirit kicked in.
Then I started to feel that hitting my target calories for a day was like a failure in some way.
So I exercised (running) to earn more calories.
Then I noticed I had lost weight, which gave me a bit of a buzz, so I started getting on the scales to check my progress.
Then I started to feel I needed to go for a run to allow myself to eat a meal and feeling bad if I don't go for a run.
I also don't like eating anything which doesn't either have the calorie content written on it, or that I can weigh the ingredients myself.
I think about food a lot, have started to lke feeling hungry, avoid social situations involving food (or exercise and eat little in advance) and often tell people I am not hungry/had a big lunch/ate already/etc.
all this has happened over the course of this month and I feel like I am choosing to do this, so can decide to stop at any time. I just need to want to. However, I do realise that if I continue like this its not healthy and could become a real problem if I allow it to become a habit.
I do have a habit of becoming a bit obsessive over things, but they are usually just phases which pass after a day or two, so I thought the food thing would be the same at first.
I am averaging net calories between 500 and 1200 a day, with a target of 1200, so I am eating, just not quite enough.
anyone have any experience of this?
Seek out professional help0 -
This sounds like me, except I fail everytime and shortly after I start. I then binge, pout and cry about my binge and try again.It started as a control thing; controlling what I ate made me feel more in control (something out of my control had upset me).
Then I found a sense of achievement when my calorie count was lower than the target calories, which made me want to cut them more - kinda like my competitive spirit kicked in.
Then I started to feel that hitting my target calories for a day was like a failure in some way.
So I exercised (running) to earn more calories.
Then I noticed I had lost weight, which gave me a bit of a buzz, so I started getting on the scales to check my progress.
Becuase in order to have success I must be hungry. Being -not hungry- is the enemy, when I'm full, I'm fat. That's the mentality I had with it.
You are bright to catch that this is not a good way to do it, but unfortunately I haven't figured out how to do it.
I just want you to know you aren't alone.
My problem as of lately is that I don't know what to eat (for alot of reason I won't go into now), so I don't. It's better to be under than over. Again it all leads to binging etc.... like I said above.
If it's just you and you don't have to prepare meals for anyone else. Plan out your menu ahead of time and make sure you know all the macros in each meal, then make it a target to hit them exactly. Replace your "challenge" with a healthy one.
A competitive mind can get you every time.0 -
I went through something similar when I was a teenager. I didn't have MFP to track my calories (or lack-there-of) but instead I ate practically nothing. I would go to school with lunch money and not buy anything. I would go home and pick at my dinner and tell my parents I didn't feel good. I would probably eat on average one time a week and that wasn't usually a full meal. Then I lost a lot of weight (I was a bit chubby) and people noticed. They kept telling me how good I looked and that I looked a lot healthier than I did before.
"Oh my, how have you done it?"
-shrug-
I kept this up for almost a year. I dropped around 60 pounds (in retrospect, I really only needed to lose roughly 20 to be in a lower part of the "healthy" BMI, not that I trust those things anyway..). But after a while I started to notice that I wasn't happy. I wanted it all to stop. I killed my metabolism, I could barely eat 2 meals a day, my stomach couldn't handle it. I basically hurt my body more than I helped it by losing the weight. It's not worth it. I know you're not doing it for the weight - at least, that's what I gathered from your post - but even for the control, it's still not worth it in the long run. If you keep it up, it will have a horrible effect on your body. If you feel like you can't stop it yourself, than I would do what the other man said: Talk to a professional, because this is very unhealthy but I'm glad you're more aware of how unhealthy it is than I was!
Please help yourself to stop this! Try taking control in a different part of your life that won't hurt you as much. There's nothing wrong with being in control of your calories, but taking it too this level is scary! Don't hurt yourself anymore!
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As a recovered anorexic I think you should see your GP now while your rational mind is still working, if you continue like this very soon it won't be! I know the signs all too well, you have them all, please don't ignore this!0
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If it helps, here is my story.
I became worried about gaining weight my freshman year of college because warnings about the freshmen 15 were everywhere. I also saw some of my friends gaining this weight. I started watching my calories, using MFP off and on and working out a whole lot.
I was stepping on the scale at least once a day. What that number said dictated what I ate. If it went down, I would be a little generous. If it stayed the same or went up, I ate little more than salad.
One summer, I had a particular busy internship. I ate one of those microwaveable bags of oatmeal in the morning (less than 200 calories) and can of soup for lunch (less than 300 calories) and a smart one meal in the evening (usually less than 200 calories, always less than 300).
I got down to a dangerous weight. I was tired and cranky and unhappy. When I was just a pound shy from 100 pounds, it hit me that this was not something to keep up. The concept that losing weight was the only thing that made me feel good about my body was absurd. I would waste away. So, I added some thing, like eating two oatmeal packets in the morning and a bowl of apple sauce or salad along with my lunch and dinner. And slowly, I weaned myself off my scale.
I started looking at myself in the mirror and taking notice of all that was great and beautiful about my body. I did that until I knew it was true, and only then did I step on the scale. Eventually, I only stepped on it once every few weeks.
It has only been recently that I looked into TDEE and eating more than MFP suggests. I think those years may have screwed with my metabolism, but I want it back. I am still young and of a pretty healthy weight. I can be healthy and eat right, without having the scale dictate how I feel about myself.
That's what it was about for me. Don't worship the scale and don't let it control how you feel about yourself. It's just a measurement, like taking a ruler and measuring the length of your hair. It's just a number, and bench mark to keep in the back of your head as you work toward your goal.
That being said, I agree that if you start to fear this is too great for you to overcome on your own that you should seek help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Get help for yourself before it turns into something that causes more permanent damage.0 -
Thank you all for your comments and particularly for your honesty about your experiences.
I think I need to channel my attention into something else and give myself a new focus, as the more I think of it the more I realise I tend to be an all or nothing person in everything I do. I would feel like a fraud going to my GP when there are people who really are suffering with serious disorders and I am just being stupid. I realise that. I think posting it on here is my way of giving myself a reality check. Am I making any sense at all? Probably not!0 -
I wonder whether anyone has any tips/words of wisdom/experiences of how to avoid forming unhealthy eating habits?
Recently I have found myself going down a road I shouldn't follow. It wasn't about losing weight to start with, as I am fairly slim anyway.
It started as a control thing; controlling what I ate made me feel more in control (something out of my control had upset me).
Then I found a sense of achievement when my calorie count was lower than the target calories, which made me want to cut them more - kinda like my competitive spirit kicked in.
Then I started to feel that hitting my target calories for a day was like a failure in some way.
So I exercised (running) to earn more calories.
Then I noticed I had lost weight, which gave me a bit of a buzz, so I started getting on the scales to check my progress.
Then I started to feel I needed to go for a run to allow myself to eat a meal and feeling bad if I don't go for a run.
I also don't like eating anything which doesn't either have the calorie content written on it, or that I can weigh the ingredients myself.
I think about food a lot, have started to lke feeling hungry, avoid social situations involving food (or exercise and eat little in advance) and often tell people I am not hungry/had a big lunch/ate already/etc.
all this has happened over the course of this month and I feel like I am choosing to do this, so can decide to stop at any time. I just need to want to. However, I do realise that if I continue like this its not healthy and could become a real problem if I allow it to become a habit.
I do have a habit of becoming a bit obsessive over things, but they are usually just phases which pass after a day or two, so I thought the food thing would be the same at first.
I am averaging net calories between 500 and 1200 a day, with a target of 1200, so I am eating, just not quite enough.
anyone have any experience of this?
Edit: My average net calories for last week were 1018 per day, so although some days were much lower than others, the average is not too bad after all.0 -
I'd suggest a nutritional therapist - I recently met with one, thinking I didn't really "need" to go to a therapist because I don't have an eating disorder, but do have many of the same thoughts/actions you speak of. I was amazed at how helpful it was, and I'm now working towards a much healthier relationship with food.
Don't wait, find someone that can help you with the mental side of eating and exercise!0 -
I sort of get where you're coming from. I had the same sort of temporary phase when I was on Atkins about 8 years ago. (Slight TMI warning) between my artificial sweetener and lactose intolerances I could still have low carb ice cream and it basically went right through me. Totally dumb and not healthy which I thankfully realized before I could do too much damage to myself.
Stop thinking you're not worth a trip to your GP. Or if you won't go there, go to a nutritionist and tell them about it so they can teach you about proper diet. Try to focus more on healthy eating, not weight loss. You don't have that much to lose anyway according to your ticker and these habits are definitely in ED territory and could result in major health problems if you don't nip them in the bud soon.0 -
This is me in a nutshell. I know it's wrong and I battle it everyday. I have a tendency to be OCD about everything but my brain usually likes to pick one thing and hone in on it and weight loss and exercise usually is the big winner. My mom had food issues so I was raised with food issues. There were good foods and bad foods and if you were good you only ate the good foods but if you ate the bad food then you had to compensate by fasting or taking laxatives. I used to envy anorexics and bulimics. I used to get so mad at myself cuz I couldn't make myself throw up. Would stick my finger in my throat but couldn't make myself get sick. Who does that?? Really? I'm glad to say I no longer have those issues but I still have issues. I still limit myself on food like a fool, then freak out and binge although not as often and not as bad as before. I am taking in a decent amount of calories a day now and I no longer feel the need to starve myself, but like you said I still get this weird satisfaction when my stomach is hungry. Sorta like "I'm being good by not eating and stuffing my face" kinda thing. I also sometimes have to make myself leave the gym. I workout 2+ hours four days a week and I always have this inner battle with myself to add more.
What I'm trying to say is I understand where you are and know how you feel. It is a struggle sometimes but I spend a lot of time thinking about these issues and making myself deal with them. I do a lot of self talk. Reminding myself that food is necessary, that there aren't bad foods and if you eat a treat it is not a reflection on your self worth or will power, and that more exercise is not always a good thing. It is wonderful that you are acknowledging these things on your own and seeing them as wrong. I didn't at first. When you have those thoughts think them through and remind yourself of what you know to be true and right. Not always easy but with time it does get better! Best of luck to you!! Friend me if you'd like!
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Well, I have just eaten 2 lamb chops with veg and new potatoes for my dinner ... my stomach is going crazy, gurgling, etc.
Just under 1000 calories today, but I did have breakfast, a very small lunch, a yoghurt and then dinner :-)0 -
Thank you all for your comments and particularly for your honesty about your experiences.
I think I need to channel my attention into something else and give myself a new focus, as the more I think of it the more I realise I tend to be an all or nothing person in everything I do. I would feel like a fraud going to my GP when there are people who really are suffering with serious disorders and I am just being stupid. I realise that. I think posting it on here is my way of giving myself a reality check. Am I making any sense at all? Probably not!
Shrugging this off as "I can stop any time" or "I'm just being stupid" is very, very dangerous. What you've described in your initial post tells a very strong story, and while you may think intellectually that you're in control of this, mentally and emotionally are very different, complicated stories.
Please reconsider discussing this with a doctor. It's worth having someone in your life who knows your health and wellness history and who can keep note of this and know what signs to look for in the future should you continue down this path.0 -
. I used to get so mad at myself cuz I couldn't make myself throw up. Would stick my finger in my throat but couldn't make myself get sick. Who does that?? Really? I'm glad to say I no longer have those issues but I still have issues. I still limit myself on food like a fool, then freak out and binge although not as often and not as bad as before.
It occasionally crosses my mind that if I was sick I wouldn't feel so blurgh, but I too don't like the whole idea of it and know from when I genuinely need to be sick, that I can't make myself sick (eg when I have had a bug and just need to get it over with so I can go to bed).0 -
It sounds like you already know you have 'control' issues, which are often behind this type of behavior. I would suggest therapy to help you understand how to let go of things you can't control. The only thing you really can control is yourself - you can control your habits, your behavior and your reaction to things you can't control. You can't control other people (including your parents, your spouse and your kids!).
I used to have some control issues, but not to that extent. One of the things that has helped me is to identify the things I truly can control and make a plan for them (a healthy, productive one). Those things I can't control but I can have influence on I do what I can to affect the outcome (maintaining my car to prevent breakdowns, or driving the speed limit to avoid tickets, for example). Those things that I have no control over, I have to acknowledge that I am not big and powerful enough to change them and that's ok.0 -
I'd suggest a nutritional therapist - I recently met with one, thinking I didn't really "need" to go to a therapist because I don't have an eating disorder, but do have many of the same thoughts/actions you speak of. I was amazed at how helpful it was, and I'm now working towards a much healthier relationship with food.
Don't wait, find someone that can help you with the mental side of eating and exercise!
This - get some professional help before you get in too deep.
Your answers to the different posts, seem to me, as though you are justifying and also denying the problem. Hope you find your way back to a normal relationship to food.0 -
I'd suggest a nutritional therapist - I recently met with one, thinking I didn't really "need" to go to a therapist because I don't have an eating disorder, but do have many of the same thoughts/actions you speak of. I was amazed at how helpful it was, and I'm now working towards a much healthier relationship with food.
Don't wait, find someone that can help you with the mental side of eating and exercise!
This - get some professional help before you get in too deep.
Your answers to the different posts, seem to me, as though you are justifying and also denying the problem. Hope you find your way back to a normal relationship to food.
ok, point taken. If I don't get a handle on this very soon I will think seriously about talking to someone.0 -
It sounds like you already know you have 'control' issues, which are often behind this type of behavior. I would suggest therapy to help you understand how to let go of things you can't control. The only thing you really can control is yourself - you can control your habits, your behavior and your reaction to things you can't control. You can't control other people (including your parents, your spouse and your kids!).
I used to have some control issues, but not to that extent. One of the things that has helped me is to identify the things I truly can control and make a plan for them (a healthy, productive one). Those things I can't control but I can have influence on I do what I can to affect the outcome (maintaining my car to prevent breakdowns, or driving the speed limit to avoid tickets, for example). Those things that I have no control over, I have to acknowledge that I am not big and powerful enough to change them and that's ok.
That sounds like good advice, thank you.0 -
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Same here. I used to do pretty much everything you described.
At some point, I decided to focus more on exercise/fitness vs. food. I knew the food situation could get really ugly. Instead of micro-managing everything I ate (which I was doing)...I focused on eating healthy foods, not worrying so much about calories, and turn my attention to fitness goals. I did keep some food habits...the ones that were reasonable, like measuring out sweets if I was going to have some dark chocolate or honey.
This has worked immensely well for me...it's helped me control myself better (when it comes to obsessing over food)...and calming down when it comes to food.
Also, if I only have healthy foods available to eat in my house...I'm not going to be able to overindulge. And then get into a guilt cycle.
I started setting goals for my workouts...setting specific running goals/times. This really helped take my mind off of food. It also helped build my confidence for workouts and start incorporating more strength training. I've seen MUCH better physical results.
Hope this helps.0 -
Thank you for your comments Lisal.
I never have any sweet food or crisps or biscuits in the house, but that's because I prefer savoury foods and have never been much of a snacker. Cheese is my weakness!
I don't plan my exercise currently - partly because I am running whenever I can find time and partly because I am looking at it from a calories eaten/calories earned point of view on a daily basis. I am also only running.
I think I will have a go at setting myself some fitness goals that are not calorie based and incorporate other exercise. I used to do yoga daily, but it got bumped for the higher calorie burning runs.
Congratulations to you for turning your mind-set around to a much healthier one!0 -
At net 500 calories a day you are literally beginning the starvation process. Seek professional help or make yourself get closer to your calorie goal.
It's not easy to have a good relationship with food for many of us... believe me, I've yo-yo'd from high 100s to mid 300s a half dozen times... I've lost over 800 lbs total and before this time down (which will be the last) i'll have lost nearly 1000.
If you can't make yourself hit your target of 1200 then seek professional help. Now.0 -
At net 500 calories a day you are literally beginning the starvation process. Seek professional help or make yourself get closer to your calorie goal.
My last 29 day average net calories were closer to 1,000 (990 to be precise) than 500.
TBH, I have thought about it, but feel silly - I am 36 years old, slim and should know better. I weigh 54 kilos, which for 5'2" seems perfectly reasonable - for some, perfectly normal in fact. I did put on about a stone when I was with my partner, but that has now gone. Conversation with a GP - me: I am deliberately not quite eating as much as I should. Him: so eat more. Me: oh, ok I never thought of that
I just need to do this myself and hearing other MFP members advice and experiences are helping - even suggestions to get professional help as they serve as a reminder not to travel further down this road.0 -
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