Do you have kids and a nanny?

Options
recoveryjunky
recoveryjunky Posts: 162 Member
in Chit-Chat
first off, i apologize for not capitalizing and for spelling everything correctly- i have a new phone and i hit all the wrong buttons.

so, i take care of my 7 year old nephew. i have him for 70+ hours per week because of the mom's work schedule. she usually drops him off around 4 in the morning and picks him up between 6 and 7 (usually...). i have a life. it's hard having a kid that many hours in a day but i try. she called me today at around noon saying "i'm not going to be back in town till about 2am. my bf can pick him up at normal time though." she and the bf work the same job site but have different positions so he can leave earlier. i had plans to go out with my bf and his parents for dinner and pool but what happens? i got a call at 6:30 (when he should be getting picked up) saying they're both leaving the job site!!!! which is almost two hours away!!! no warning, nothing. now this wouldn't be a huge deal if she hadn't done this before. but she does something like this almost every week. no warning and she sends someone else to pick him up or shows up late, hell, she shows up super early sometimes too (one of his favorite things to do in our days together is go on walks and he gets super bummed out if we can't). i am a plan person and need to mostly follow a plan. i know traffic happens. i know life happens but every week screwing me out of my social life? not cool.

oh, and i do this for $700 a month.


so parents or child care providers: is this common place or do i just have a really crappy sister in law? honestly, i want to know if i'm over reacting cause this time i'm pissed.
«1

Replies

  • faceoff4
    faceoff4 Posts: 1,599 Member
    Options
    I have a nanny and babysitters for both my kids and pay my nanny about $50k a year for 50/hrs a week and caring for two kids. I pay baby sitters typically $15/hr but I am in Cali so its probably different everywhere.

    On the lack of warning and what seems like taking advantage of your time that is completely unacceptable in my opinion. I have a very demanding job that can be very inflexible at times for hours, and I would never do that to my nanny. Its all about planning and respect. I show up when I say I will and I expect her to do the same on her hours. So you have a right to be mad on that and I would just communicated with them and all get on the same page. Hope this helps :)
  • ostrichagain
    ostrichagain Posts: 271 Member
    Options
    You make $2.50 /hour? Your are doing more than bending over backward for her. Set some boundaries and get a raise.

    I pay sitters $10 /hr with a $50 minimum and we are never late (and that's not even someone I trust to do that full time). The going rate for child care around here is at least $40 /day.
  • hzliiz
    hzliiz Posts: 166 Member
    Options
    I neither have kids nor am I a nanny but I'm gonna butt in anyway and say 1) you're being taken advantage of and need to set some boundaries, stat and 2) raise your hourly rate significantly and start charging overtime
  • recoveryjunky
    recoveryjunky Posts: 162 Member
    Options
    my guy's whole family thinks i'm taking advantage of her because you shouldn't charge family. oh i told her when she got to my house how i felt and i didn't get an apology. all she said was "well it's construction. that's how it is." which made me even more mad! ugh! thank god it's only one more week!
  • ostrichagain
    ostrichagain Posts: 271 Member
    Options
    In-laws . . .
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
    Options
    my guy's whole family thinks i'm taking advantage of her because you shouldn't charge family. oh i told her when she got to my house how i felt and i didn't get an apology. all she said was "well it's construction. that's how it is." which made me even more mad! ugh! thank god it's only one more week!

    Sooooo pretty much everyone around you thinks you should be co-dependent?
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    Options
    I am a former nanny its hard ..you obviously accept lower pay because 1. family and 2. you love the kid......but to be honest 700 isn't going to be enough for your future or your 401k...don't get stuck in a rut being too nice. meanwhile they plan their futures
  • recoveryjunky
    recoveryjunky Posts: 162 Member
    Options
    my guy's whole family thinks i'm taking advantage of her because you shouldn't charge family. oh i told her when she got to my house how i felt and i didn't get an apology. all she said was "well it's construction. that's how it is." which made me even more mad! ugh! thank god it's only one more week!

    Sooooo pretty much everyone around you thinks you should be co-dependent?

    i guess so... i literally don't have him for up to 8 hours a day if she picks him up on time--most of which are spent passed out because he is hard work. soooo i'm supposed to have other income?
  • recoveryjunky
    recoveryjunky Posts: 162 Member
    Options
    I am a former nanny its hard ..you obviously accept lower pay because 1. family and 2. you love the kid......but to be honest 700 isn't going to be enough for your future or your 401k...don't get stuck in a rut being too nice. meanwhile they plan their futures

    That is EXACTLY why. And honestly, at the start of this, we were helping each other out: I had just quit a miserable job and she needed someone to watch him after school. I did just after school while looking for another job. That was $500 a month for about 20 hours a week. Over spring break she gave me an extra $100 for having him all day. So naturally I assumed $500 for the month plus an extra $100 per week for the summer. My first payday came around and she said she couldn't afford that after I did the whole month. I mean, I love her and all but she has shown me no respect and I don't have the, well, balls to tell her that because of how she treats me, I am very unhappy.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,026 Member
    Options
    my guy's whole family thinks i'm taking advantage of her because you shouldn't charge family. oh i told her when she got to my house how i felt and i didn't get an apology. all she said was "well it's construction. that's how it is." which made me even more mad! ugh! thank god it's only one more week!

    I work closely with the construction industry and I call B.S. Plus, cellphones are in everyone's pocket.

    Being late all the time and completely inconsiderate of you is completely out of line. Find new work. Anything pays better than that.
  • Mslmesq
    Mslmesq Posts: 1,001 Member
    Options
    No kids, but I'd like a nanny! :bigsmile:
  • recoveryjunky
    recoveryjunky Posts: 162 Member
    Options
    No kids, but I'd like a nanny! :bigsmile:

    Pay me more than $700 a month and you got a deal lol




    I have a job starting September 6 after he goes back to school. I CAN'T FREAKIN' WAIT!!!
  • jenjencin78
    jenjencin78 Posts: 4,415 Member
    Options
    You make $2.50 /hour? Your are doing more than bending over backward for her. Set some boundaries and get a raise.

    I pay sitters $10 /hr with a $50 minimum and we are never late (and that's not even someone I trust to do that full time). The going rate for child care around here is at least $40 /day.

    Ditto this. You're definitely being taken advantage of.
  • Pringlelingus
    Pringlelingus Posts: 76
    Options
    No, I'm poor
  • recoveryjunky
    recoveryjunky Posts: 162 Member
    Options
    I really appreciate the responses. I was so angry when I typed that but seeing that I'm not crazy for being mad, I do feel better. I kind of want to say to her, "If you are going to be later than 7PM, YOU are going to have to find someone to pick him up." I stress the YOU because on nights where she gets home at 9 or later, she puts it on me to call his grandpa (who TERRIFIES me) to come pick him up.

    Ugh I just want it to be the 4th so I don't have to deal with this crap anymore. More than anything I want to helpful. It's kind of my goal in life to help people. Having said that, I will never watch him after this summer. I can't deal with that.
  • slrose
    slrose Posts: 164 Member
    Options
    i had a job like that an finally quit

    best. decision. ever.

    youll have your own kids someday and the payoff from watching them will be a hell of alot better then 2.50 an hour
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    Options
    Honestly, i would tell her that if she does not have the kid picked up by 7 then you are not watching him/her the next day. You should really do that. Be real firm and very strict about it. You would only have to deal with her about it maybe twice before she got that you were serious.
  • mycrazy8splus1
    mycrazy8splus1 Posts: 1,558 Member
    Options
    You are definitely being taken for a ride with this deal. I have 8 kids of my own and have done daycare for several years. I had a couple that were pulling stuff similar to what you describe and I told them they either started paying over-time or they needed to find another daycare. They were both military (so was my hubby at the time) and I understand the hours there can be changed at the last minute but they would tell me they just got off work but then they would come for pickup in civies (which meant they went home, passing by my place first, to change their clothes). I would actually see their car drive past my place and wait another hour for them to come get their kid. Very annoying!
  • Jennyd1314
    Jennyd1314 Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    Good luck with your new job.I.d let them down (phone in sick once during your last week) May make them appreciate you & the long hours you have worked
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    Options
    I pay my babysitter $15 an hour. If I'm running late I always send her a text message to see if that is ok.

    You are getting taken for a ride, family or not. Let them get help that isn't a relative & see how much they charge & how inflexible people can be.

Categories