Super Fast Ways to Lose Weight!

d2footballJRC
d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
in Chit-Chat
Everyone coming on here saying you need to lose x amount of pounds by tomorrow.. YOU'RE WELCOME!! ;-)

Clip finger and toenails
1 ounce maximum

Haircut
2-6 ounces

Drastic Haircut / Headshave
4-12 ounces

Cut/Trim Hair
1 oz. (ladies) 3 oz. (men)

Remove a wart
1 oz.

Take a diuretic
1-3 pounds (temporary)

Take a laxative
1-2 pounds (temporary)

Colon Therapy / Enema
2-3 pounds (temporary)

Poop
0-2 pounds (temporary)

Run a marathon on a hot day
3 lbs (women), 5 lbs (men) (temporary)

Amputate your arm
10-25 lbs (way too permanent)

Amputate your leg
15-45 lbs (again, not advised)

Vascetomy
none.

Take a big pee.
up to 1.5 pounds

Take a big dump
up to 2.5 pounds

Go barefoot
1-2 pounds

Go Naked
1-8 pounds (summer vs. winter)

Contact lenses vs. Glasses
0.3 pounds

No liquids all day
1-2 pounds

No food all day
2-3 pounds

No salt all day
0-1 pound

Don't wear underwear
1 oz. (thong)-2 lbs. (granny panties)

Exfoliating face wash
nothing.

Liposuction
10 lbs maximum per surgery

Donate a kidney
3 pounds.

Breast Reduction Surgery
5-15 pounds typically.
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Replies

  • knucklesammie
    knucklesammie Posts: 196 Member
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  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    tumblr_mi4ez1XVWD1s5odbco1_500.jpg

    That is perfect.
  • sandy_gee
    sandy_gee Posts: 372 Member
    Oh gosh. I say, half a pack of laxatives, a cleanse, and a haircut tonight. My hair goes to my butt so I figure if I shave it I'll be right at the top of that extreme. Then tomorrow I'll do all my morning duties, and proceed to run at least one marathon. I can't amputate a leg or else I won't be able to do the marathon, but I could do both arms. I might just lose some momentum.
    And in the future I'd have to work on nose dexterity to type, so that could probably be an added bonus.




    In. :smokin:
  • BamsieEkhaya
    BamsieEkhaya Posts: 657 Member
    made me laugh ! Thanks !:happy:
  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
    tumblr_mi4ez1XVWD1s5odbco1_500.jpg

    That is perfect.

    Both brilliant...!

    btw... that's one hell of a wart!...

    You forgot blowing nose... shaving legs?! Removing watch, gold medallion!?!?
  • knucklesammie
    knucklesammie Posts: 196 Member
    tumblr_mi4ez1XVWD1s5odbco1_500.jpg

    That is perfect.

    hehehehe i thought so :D
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    What about a head removal?

    It must work because I see a lot of headless fit people on MFP
  • Laurenluv
    Laurenluv Posts: 43
    Hilarious! great ideas! I exfoliated my skin today and promptly ran to the scale with no results! I should have looked at this first.
  • boehle
    boehle Posts: 5,062 Member
    I am going to do all of the above. Ill be skinny by tomorrow!
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    What about a head removal?

    It must work because I see a lot of headless fit people on MFP

    Some of them just remove the gray area inside their heads. For some it's just a cosmetic procedure. ;-)
  • miqisha
    miqisha Posts: 1,534 Member
    This was funny :)
  • alyhuggan
    alyhuggan Posts: 717 Member
    Amazed there are no butt hurts, can't wait to be a stone lighter tomorrow!
  • ijohn001
    ijohn001 Posts: 166
    I've actually gained weight taking a poo....

    1250.gif
  • juniperfox
    juniperfox Posts: 127 Member
    This is too good.
  • j6o4
    j6o4 Posts: 871 Member
    I heard a 7 day cleanse will make you loose 15 pounds all around the thighs, hips, and stomach.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    I've actually gained weight taking a poo....

    1250.gif
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    Amazed there are no butt hurts, can't wait to be a stone lighter tomorrow!

    It's all in good fun!
  • KarlaH9801
    KarlaH9801 Posts: 362 Member
    I just lost 210 lbs. My hubby is on a camping trip!
  • stacyhaddenham
    stacyhaddenham Posts: 211 Member
    Get divorced...it was the fasted 350 I ever lost. lol Thanks for the laugh
  • TamaraKat
    TamaraKat Posts: 533 Member
    Thanks for the laughs in my day LOL!
  • CinthyN
    CinthyN Posts: 64 Member
    Super Like!
  • just_jess7
    just_jess7 Posts: 271 Member
    Amputate your arm
    10-25 lbs (way too permanent)

    Amputate your leg
    15-45 lbs (again, not advised)

    I'm really glad you specified the *your* part in this. Otherwise, next thing you know we'd have people running around amputating strangers' limbs thinking they'd lose weight! Well, the chase would burn calories... Hmm...
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    I just lost 210 lbs. My hubby is on a camping trip!

    Burn!
  • _Krys10_
    _Krys10_ Posts: 1,234 Member
    2 pounds for granny panties :laugh: :laugh:
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    2 pounds for granny panties :laugh: :laugh:

    Just going by numbers online :-D
  • Zaniejane
    Zaniejane Posts: 329 Member
    Thank you for this informative post! Now I understand why I've gained weight this week.... Glasses!!

    Big_Glasses_14h_04.jpg
  • Lunarbeanie
    Lunarbeanie Posts: 107 Member
    *snort*
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
    When you fart you actually gain weight because the gas ceases to lift you up, so hold it in!
  • _Krys10_
    _Krys10_ Posts: 1,234 Member
    2 pounds for granny panties :laugh: :laugh:

    Just going by numbers online :-D

    Them some big draws
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    lol I'd feel super skinny if I thought my breasts weighed 15 pounds. They are the first part of me to shrink whenever I lose a little weight.

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