Can't eat

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grace42d
grace42d Posts: 156 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have had a whopper of a year. Got a job, got laid off along with 450 other friends three months later. Mom broker her hip and I cared for her and my Dad who has Alzheimers for 2 months. Started new job. Mom died. Now caring for Dad again 3-4 days a week plus working full time and trying (failing) to care for my family. After my Mom passed away I was unable to eat for about 8 days. Since then (about three weeks), I am unable to stomach much. Maybe 500 calories a day or less. When I eat I get massive stomach cramps, my throat feels really tight and everything tastes like poo. I have lost about 10 pounds but am still above 100 lbs which is good.

I feel drained, slightly dizzy and totally foggy.

Any hints on how to restart my digestive system?

Replies

  • MyouTakaraTriesAgain
    MyouTakaraTriesAgain Posts: 68
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    Go see a doctor. Now.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    Um yeah... seek professional help. Like yesterday.
  • bajoyba
    bajoyba Posts: 1,153 Member
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    I'm very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you've been under a lot of stress for awhile, and that can definitely take a toll. I agree with the others. I think you could benefit from talking to a doctor about your issues. I wish you all the best.
  • kyleekay10
    kyleekay10 Posts: 1,812 Member
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    Very sorry for your losses. I agree, see a doctor.

    In the mean time though, can you stomach smoothies? Maybe blending up some nutritious fruits with yogurt and milk would be doable. Some intake is better than none. Good luck.
  • grace42d
    grace42d Posts: 156 Member
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    Thanks, I will try some smoothies. Maybe I could stomach come light soup too so I will try that.
  • Senneth12
    Senneth12 Posts: 72
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    Schedule an appointment with your dr.

    But until you can get in, I also recommend smoothies. When I'm having trouble eating, they're easier on me. Easy "recipe": frozen fruit, yogurt (I prefer Greek, and that ups the protein content) and either juice or milk.
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,280 Member
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    Please see a medical professional.

    Also, have you been seeking any counseling? Your life has been chaos. I understand it well. I was my mother's caregiver until she passed in May from cancer. Health issues can come from mental issues such as stress and anxiety. Please do not just dismiss the idea that some counseling could help. It took me awhile to realize it can.
  • HelenTheZ
    HelenTheZ Posts: 42 Member
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    Grace,

    I'm so sorry for your loss and the stress you are under. I had a TERRIBLE year two years ago. I found that the stress sneaked up on me in very insidious ways. You are grieving and busy and you need support. Can you find someone to talk to, one-on-one? That helped me. I know it can be expensive.

    If that's not possible, perhaps try to be very gentle with yourself, for starters. Say "no" to people who want your time.

    If you have a physician, you could start there and report all your stress and symptoms.

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Helen Z
  • emmeylou
    emmeylou Posts: 175 Member
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    I would suggest

    1) schedule an appt with your doctor. You could be seriously dehydrated!! You're body cannot physically digest food if you are dehydrated. Stress most definitely affects our bodies, your doctor might recommend that you take something to calm your system down for a little while. It sounds like you have had extreme stress this year (even the good at the beginning is a form of stress) and at the very least should make sure that your body is healthy.

    2) Stop trying to eat normal foods for a bit. Go to soft foods and liquids, as if you had a stomach bug. Applesauce, really soft rice, bananas, toast, tea, yogurt, smoothies, etc. Maybe grab some protein drinks (i highly recommend premier protein, it is my personal fave, you can get it from costco/sams club... and i think some places like walgreens have them online). Eat slowly!!! If you have a protein shake for example, aim to finish it in an hour, not 10 minutes. Or if you make a piece of toast, aim for 20 minutes of nibbling. It is much more gentle on your system this way.

    big hugs ((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))) you'll get through this! I'm sorry for your loss, losing a parent at any age is difficult and grief on top of stress can wreak havoc on your body. Feel better soon sweetie!
  • grace42d
    grace42d Posts: 156 Member
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    All, Thanks for the great advice and recipes. Part of the problem, I know, is that my mother essentially starved to death. She had a wasting disease, two lung diseases, severe osteoporosis, and a floppy esophagus. Then she lost the ability to eat after her hip surgery and fought to get the NG feeding tube removed. After a month of gaining about 8 pounds, the tube was removed and she went from an very thin 88 pounds to around 75 quite shortly despite eating all day long. I feel a bit guilty for not insisting on a stomach tube, but she has always told me she was adamentaly against it and she was completely coherent to the end. So despite me having her health POA, she never lost her capacity to make her own decisions. It is a tough thing for me to wrap my head around.

    Eating slowly is certainly an idea I haven't insisted on with my family, and I did not know dehydration can mess with your digestive system. Also treating myself as if I had had the stomach flu is a great idea. Thanks for the advice (permission) to stop trying to eat normal foods! :happy: Everyone around me is clueless to how nauseating their regular food looks to me! The thought of eating anything heavy, creamy, beany, tomatoey, or crunchy or rich right now makes me queasy. Even the thought of chocolate makes me cringe. I will try some small gentle smoothies, light on any milk and sipped over a period of time.

    Counseling is probably a good idea, but I work 40 hours a week, take care of my Dad 3-4 days and have my family, so 'spare' time is non-existent. I tried some miso soup last night and managed about 1/2 cup which was encouraging. This morning I was able to eat about 1/c cup of the noodles that I did not eat last night.

    Going to the grocery store today to get some greek yogurt, a banana and some protein powder.
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
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    I have had a few times like this in my life. The only things I could manage to take during those times were porridge, hot chocolate and soup. I couldn't face anything solid. I found it horrible - quite frightening.

    When you're up to it, go and speak to someone. Until then, keep active but cut out as much stress (or stressful people) as you can.

    Take care of yourself, sweetie - you'll get through it. Promise. xxx
  • glowgirl14
    glowgirl14 Posts: 200 Member
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    I have gone through two times where I couldn't eat. The first was a very stressful time in my life, and like you - everything made me feel sick to look at, and tasted even worse. One bite, and I couldn't eat anything else.

    The second time was self-induced. I over-dieted myself into sickness. But the result was the same.

    Your body will reject food more and more the longer you deprive it (even if you aren't depriving it on purpose.

    What worked for me was eating often. Juice, Applesauce, hard boiled eggs, nuts. Anything that doesn't seem disgusting to you. Anything you can make yourself swallow. When I was stress-sick, I couldn't even eat an entire egg at one time. But I made myself take a bite of something every hour. If I could eat more than one bite, I would.

    Your metabolism has slowed down because you aren't getting the nutrients you need...and your digestive system has slowed down. Take vitamins if you can...My doctor actually recommends for me to have two children's vitamins every day. : )

    I'm sorry for your loss...I lost my mom a long time ago, from a long sickness. It's hard. You have to let yourself grieve. But don't punish yourself for still being alive when she's gone. Sounds like you have a family who needs you. You need to balance your own needs with theirs...give yourself time to be sad, and work through this. I'm betting your mom would not want to see you sick...

    Baby steps...one breath at a time, one bite at a time. Just be careful...not eating can make you really sick, really quickly...it does get easier. *hugs*
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    . I feel a bit guilty for not insisting on a stomach tube, but she has always told me she was adamentaly against it and she was completely coherent to the end. So despite me having her health POA, she never lost her capacity to make her own decisions. It is a tough thing for me to wrap my head around.


    Never feel guilty about that. You honored her wishes - that is a very hard thing to do sometimes to put aside your own desires and wants to keep her here and honor what she wanted. :heart:

    I can't even imagine the stress you're going through. The protein shakes sound like a great idea. Take care of yourself sweetie. You need to be healthy in order to be able take care of your dad.
  • Gee_24
    Gee_24 Posts: 359 Member
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    I'm so sorry to hear of all of this. Never mind the fact that you've went through a very traumatic year so far, but your too busy to be able to sit down and take it all in. Your life is so full on that you just dont seem to be getting enough time to reflect, and indulge in your emotions.

    2009 was my bad year. My boyfriend of 5 years "came out" ( Yeah, I kinda knew I guess! ) he was all I'd ever known since being 15 years old and my world ended. Then my Dad sold the house from under me, and my cat ( 19y/o ) died in my arms. All in a month. To make matters worse, My Mums death suddenly hit me. After 6 years. Before my ex, my Mum was my rock. And suddenly I realised I had neither of them and being so alone for the first time in adulthood was terrifying.

    Anyway, I actually couldn't eat. I felt absoIutely no hunger, and only pain and discomfort when I ate. I went from 9 stone to 6 stone in a matter of 3 months. My family was devastated, more so than me. I'd lost the will if I'm honest.

    But to get out of this habit, I had to start with soup. Home made lentil soup was my saviour. Its so thick and satisfying and I was getting plenty of nutrients. Then some porridge was introduced and over time I was able to eat soft solids. Like a soft roll with corned beef, or some mashed potato.

    You shouldn't push yourself. Eat what you think you can handle and stop when you feel sick. But be sure to try and maximise your nutrients. Maybe a full place of some nice soft broccoli? Smoothies? Maybe some vitamin supplements like Centrium or Anti Natal Vitamins?

    Good luck and I sincerely hope you find a way to make time in your schedule or that someone from your family can step in and help you take a breather. You've done amazingly.

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