Anorexia first step to recovery: help?

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hollow_ed
hollow_ed Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
Hi, my name is Amy and I'm 22. I have struggled with an eating disorder for quite a few years now and I have only recently been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa (restrictive subtype). I am looking for some support if anyone can relate to my situation and give advice. Of course, I am receiving outpatient treatment from professionals and am willing to take their advice but would like a second non-professional outlet to discuss my concerns also.

At the moment I am lingering around 42kg, I have a BMI of 15.4 which i understand is unhealthy but, as i am new to recovery, am finding everything a little overwhelming, especially regarding weight gain and the amount of calories i will soon be expected to eat. Over the past 6 months or so i was eating between 200-500 calories a day and obviously this is proving to be quite a hard routine to break. I am currently following a meal plan that is designed to avoid re-feeding syndrome. The meal plan is only around 750 calories to start with, although i have tweaked it a little replacing the milk with soy milk ect (i know, i shouldn't) due to anxiety around consuming so many calories. I have been reading these forums and seen lots of people say you need around 2000-3000 calories a day to gain weight. I understand this is a scientific fact yet i can not help but worry that even on the meal plan i am on at the moment i am going to gain lots of weight straight away. I know it has to happen at some point but i would just like a little reassurance that i can follow this meal plan without significant weight gain. I have also been walking a lot due to this worry. I hardly have any energy as it is so this is proving a problem too. When i first started eating again a couple weeks ago after having literally no food i gained 1.5kg, which i have now lost (presuming it was water weight). I think it is this that had me worried, although when this happened i ate like a normal person- ie chocolate and cakes, toast etc.

I must sound really silly and selfish fretting over this but if there is anybody who might have gone through a similar experience or recovered from an eating disorder themselves i would appreciate your comments. Please let me know how much you first started eating in recovery and how much weight you gained and how fast. Also any tips or advice appreciated. I know i have a disordered mind at the moment and that needs to be worked on, i just need some advice and a little reassurance that i shouldn't be worrying so much over 800 calories, as if i continue this way i can see myself heading down the wrong path again. Sorry for the long post- thanks for reading :)

Replies

  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
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    Hi. Welcome to MFP. I have no experience with Anorexia (my eating problems are on the other end lol) but I've seen lots of posts from people here who have.

    Just be careful - you will find some folks here who are trying to actually embrace their Anorexia.
  • annamc18
    annamc18 Posts: 198 Member
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    Hi Amy,

    I'm sorry to see that you are going through this! I don't have any experience personally with eating disorders, but I do know that if you are going from eating only 200-300 calories a day to 700ish calories your body will have a lot of adjusting to do. You are most likely in 'starvation mode' so it will take a while for your body to properly deal with those calories.

    I've seen lots of people here on MFP saying that they've struggled with eating disorders in the past, so I'm sure there are lots of people on here that can give you personal advice. I certainly hope they do!

    I hope you get everything straightened out soon & I'm glad that you have made the decision to get healthy again!! Just take it 1 step at a time & remember that any weight you gain can be lost, so it's not the end of the world if you gain more than you wish on your road to recovery!

    If you would like to add me please feel free! :flowerforyou:
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
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    My best friend in high school was seriously anorexic. She was one of those determined to return to eating like a normal person. The way she did it was to start eating calorie dense things like peanuts. So her body could still only consume the small quantities she was used to but get all the calories and fat and protein she had been missing for 5 years. Then she started weight training so she would love her body.

    This girl is now over 40 and looks healthier than any of us. She has a really healthy relationship with food. Good luck to you.

    You need to accept the gain in the adjustment period. Go for at least 1200 a day. Just do it.
  • nazish17
    nazish17 Posts: 61 Member
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    Hi i had bulimia and trying to eat at a healthy pacw and healthy amount and keep it down is my mission. feel free to add me - i also went through a rough time with my bad relationship with food,

    Hope you feel better soon and develop better realtionships with food. I for one need to learn to not panic the minute something goes down my throat i seem to feel my hips grow bigger and my bum become fatter all in the head i know!


    keep up the out patient treatment - i wish i did!
  • thesophierose
    thesophierose Posts: 754 Member
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    Firstly, great job on embracing recovery. I know how struggling and overwhelming this is as I am in recovery as well. But you can do this. Accepting that you have a demon is the first step into remission. Secondly, If you have troubles eating a lot of food, eat calorie dense foods where you get more calories for less food like peanut butter. Those fats are also beneficial as you are recovering your body, they help with hormones and nutrient absorption.

    If you like You can add me up as a friend :)
  • lua_
    lua_ Posts: 258 Member
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    You deserve to be healthy. Good luck :)
  • lblert
    lblert Posts: 55
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    I am in recovery from anorexia and bulimia. I was fortunate to be able to go to residential treatment for 4 months for the refeed/weight gain portion of my recovery. It you have the opportunity to go inpatient /residential, I highly encourage you to do so. The structure you receive there is very beneficial.

    The other thing that is very important to recovering, especially while you're refeeding, is not to weigh yourself. Let your treatment team blind weigh you so you don't know the number. And as you grow out of your "sick" clothes, get rid of them. Having them around when you're trying to recover is just motivation to relapse.

    Recovery is hard work. But taking back control of your life from the eating disorder is absolutely worth it. I have seen the girls I went through treatment with go on to great things - higher education, marriage, motherhood, travel, etc. They all embraced recovery and wanted something greater in their lives. I have also seen girls from treatment who retreated back into their EDs and the outcome for them has not been good - repeated hospitalizations, numerous stints in additional treatment facilities, lost relationships with loved ones, and even death.

    If you ever have questions or need advice, please feel free to message me.
  • corinnehickmanbritton
    corinnehickmanbritton Posts: 1
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    Hi! Thanks for sharing! Thought maybe you could help me for the last 25 yrs I do the extreme very very thin to very very heavy! I do a 12 step program and I see a therapist! My ED has caused many many health problems. My friends and family, except for 1 aunt do not understand at all! The most difficult thing is when im trying to get healthy and when I'm in the process of loosing weight. I don't feel like eating and when I do I just don't want to stop! so I'm working on a happy medium.....how are you balancing food and exercise.....would you being willing to share you food/workout log for a day? I'm shy in taking in my daily caloric intake! any input would be helpful

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