I'm almost there!!!

The statement- “she’s just bigboned” is honestly ridiculous. How many fat skeletons have you seen lately? The fact of the matter was, I was heavily overweight and had been for more years than I cared to remember.

As a child, I was of an average weight although I towered over my school friends. As I got a little older, towards the end of my primary school years, I had begun to put on more weight. My parents had always provided my brothers and I with healthy and nutritious meals, but somewhere along the way, I found a love for chocolate and other snack foods, that in time contributed towards a large weight gain.

For years, I recall weighing an equal number of stones, to my age, which as you can imagine, caused a lot of snide remarks from my peers. I was fortunate that I was never bullied as a child, but following any arguments that I may have had with friends, the word “fat” would always crop up somewhere. Even though I knew it was true, it hurt me that other people knew it was reality too. I guess in some strange way, I had always hoped that they’d see past my size and just focus on me as a person- which they duly did, but as children do, especially girls, arguments and fall outs were never few and far between. I found myself continually trying to please people, for fear that they would realise they may actually not like me because I was “fat”.

As I got abit older, boyfriends came on the scene- for my friends that is. I was always the go-between. If a guy approached me, more often than not it was to ask for my friend’s number. Of course, there were boys that I liked, but I knew they wouldn’t fancy me. The term ‘crush’ was more what I’d do- rather than what I had. My feelings just got buried away. I kept a smile on my face though, I was happy, wasn’t I?

It’s ironic, as individuals we find the process of lying to others, awful- so why do we lie to ourselves?

My love for food was turning into a secret obsession- I didn’t want to be one of those fat people that openly love food, I tried to pretend that I didn’t know how I was putting on weight to my friends and family, when really, I knew it was because I was over-indulging. My parents would urge me to lose weight and I knew that they were right.

I tried so many diets from my early teens- to early twenties and didn’t find a diet that satisfied me or gave me the results I yearned for.

As my weight continued to grow, boyfriends would continue to treat me with little respect and I accepted it, grateful that they had even considered a relationship with me in the first place. My self esteem was at an all time low, I would dream of waking up a svelte size 10, and in reality I did need to wake up- I needed to wake up and realise that at age 21 and a size 22 -I needed to make some serious changes in my life.

In February 2009, I met my now partner, through a mutual friend. After chatting with him, we decided to meet up, for a date…a real date. I was so worried that he wouldn’t be attracted to me- I was at my biggest, but felt I had nothing to lose..(pun intended) He saw past my size and our relationship grew, the more time we spent together, I realised I was falling in love with him.

In July that year, a friend of mine told me about the Cambridge diet. I decided that I’d “give it a go”. I went and met my new Cambridge Councillor, one evening in July. I was almost 20 stones- seeing the weight on the scales, gave me the determination to make a change. In the first week, following the diet closely, I lost 8lb. I felt even more motivated to continue.

On a girls holiday to Turkey, later that month, I swapped cocktails for bottled water, and Turkish kebabs, for Cambridge Shake Drinks- I was more determined than ever.

In the months to follow, the weight was coming off- there were weeks where I had faltered- and this showed in small gains of a pound here and there, or staying the same weight as the previous week. At times, I felt like giving up, but knew I had the strength to carry on, after all I’d come so far. By Christmas time, I’d lost over 4 stones, I felt like a new woman, still- I continued to lose more weight, determined to reach a happy and healthy weight.

I have learnt that being overweight, doesn’t make you a bad person, but in my experience, I wasn’t able to be the person I wanted to be. Since losing the weight, I have become more active and enjoy life to its fullest. I used to go into fitting rooms and sit and cry as the jeans wouldn’t even go past my thighs, Now, I go into fitting rooms and come out with a smile on my face.

A lot of people that haven’t seen me for some time, say that I am half the woman I was, but if anything, I’m more- I as a person haven’t changed but my confidence has soared.

To date, I have lost almost 6 stone in weight and feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders- and do you know what, I suppose it has.

Good luck everyone xx