People treating you differently as result of weight loss
VioletNightshade
Posts: 197
I've been overweight my entire adult life and through most of my teens, and was largely ignored in public as a result. Over the past few months, I've noticed people treating me differently.
For instance, today, on my way to class, I stopped at a little cafe to pick up a snack, and as I was approaching, a young man on crutches was struggling to get out the door. There was a man at a table about five feet away from the door. He allowed the guy with the crutches to srtuggle while exiting the building, but put down his sandwich and stood to open the door for me. He didnmt go out of his way to open the same door for a heavier and older woman than myself, either. I wish he'd helped the young man instead of myself, as he was clearly the one more in need of assistance as he was wearing a backpack, juggling a snack and a drink as well as holding his keys in his mouth, so he could've gone without the added strain of keeping grip on his items and opening the door while also injured while I simply had my maths book, a small handbag and four fully functional and uninjured limbs, but that's besides the point. At this time I did a mental check and couldn't think of any changes other than my weight that could account for others treating me this way. I'm not even dressed provocatively - a gray tshirt dress that comes to mid thigh - about 6 inches above the knee with black leggings and sandals with sunglasses and no makeup because I'm just going to class. Not exactly Victoria's Secret runway ready.
My point here is that 50 pounds ago that kind of thing was a rarity for me, and now it's becoming more common day to day. Has anyone else noticed similar patterns?
A year ago, I could walk around in public as if I were all but invisible. Now, it's rare that people cut into my path walking, and strangers making eye contact is something I'll just have to get used to. It's quite strange, and a bit sad at the same time that people so noticeably treat bigger people so differently.
For instance, today, on my way to class, I stopped at a little cafe to pick up a snack, and as I was approaching, a young man on crutches was struggling to get out the door. There was a man at a table about five feet away from the door. He allowed the guy with the crutches to srtuggle while exiting the building, but put down his sandwich and stood to open the door for me. He didnmt go out of his way to open the same door for a heavier and older woman than myself, either. I wish he'd helped the young man instead of myself, as he was clearly the one more in need of assistance as he was wearing a backpack, juggling a snack and a drink as well as holding his keys in his mouth, so he could've gone without the added strain of keeping grip on his items and opening the door while also injured while I simply had my maths book, a small handbag and four fully functional and uninjured limbs, but that's besides the point. At this time I did a mental check and couldn't think of any changes other than my weight that could account for others treating me this way. I'm not even dressed provocatively - a gray tshirt dress that comes to mid thigh - about 6 inches above the knee with black leggings and sandals with sunglasses and no makeup because I'm just going to class. Not exactly Victoria's Secret runway ready.
My point here is that 50 pounds ago that kind of thing was a rarity for me, and now it's becoming more common day to day. Has anyone else noticed similar patterns?
A year ago, I could walk around in public as if I were all but invisible. Now, it's rare that people cut into my path walking, and strangers making eye contact is something I'll just have to get used to. It's quite strange, and a bit sad at the same time that people so noticeably treat bigger people so differently.
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Replies
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I'd like to hear more about this too...
It's a sad but true fact that society (in general) will see a fat person a lot differently than a thin person. I'm not skinny yet or anything, but I'm a lot smaller/toned than I was a few years ago and I was actually really offended when one of my guy mates made a pass at me when I know for a fact he would NEVER have done that a few years ago. My personality certainly hasn't changed, so it was obviously my body. I'm over it, he was drunk, and guys will be guys...but it just goes to show.0 -
Also, one of the big reasons I want to get down to normal weight is to see how different the world is for a slim person - I'm very curious!0
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For me it's been the reverse. I was so petite and cute for so long, it's hard to get used to people not opening doors for you, or giving up seats, or turning their heads to watch you walk. Very strange being ignored, and it feels awful.
Get used to the attention, honey, it'll only get worse as you get smaller0
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