Binge Eating Disorder
Mushiemallows
Posts: 18 Member
Hi everyone...
I have had a bit of a stressful week, waiting on blood test results to see if I have PCOS and if that's the reason why I'm not losing much weight -- and I'm also overloaded with things to do.
I have been going relatively well with my diet though slacking a bit since my blood test, and after almost two months of not binging - I binged on chocolate...
I still live with my family so I can't just donate all of our bad food away, because that is what they eat - so it's always just there, and in times of stress I think back to my old habits. I guess I'm writing because I just can't believe I caved. I know there are thousands of people who don't believe binge eating disorder even exists, and that it's just being greedy, but experiences like this really ground me and make me realize how little control I have over it.
I don't know how to end this post - but any advice would be appreciated, most especially if you've dealt with BED, and thank you for reading :c I'm sorry for letting you all down.
I have had a bit of a stressful week, waiting on blood test results to see if I have PCOS and if that's the reason why I'm not losing much weight -- and I'm also overloaded with things to do.
I have been going relatively well with my diet though slacking a bit since my blood test, and after almost two months of not binging - I binged on chocolate...
I still live with my family so I can't just donate all of our bad food away, because that is what they eat - so it's always just there, and in times of stress I think back to my old habits. I guess I'm writing because I just can't believe I caved. I know there are thousands of people who don't believe binge eating disorder even exists, and that it's just being greedy, but experiences like this really ground me and make me realize how little control I have over it.
I don't know how to end this post - but any advice would be appreciated, most especially if you've dealt with BED, and thank you for reading :c I'm sorry for letting you all down.
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Replies
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Hey girl
I've been through exactly what you're describing. I was an anorexic the first year in college and while in recovery, my body struck back. Hard. I'd have these insane binges where I'd just eat all this junk and physically wasn't able to stop. It was to the point that if I tried to resist the urge I'd be curled up on my bed shaking like a drug addict.
What began to do was upping my calories on other days a little. I know you'll have the urge to "make up" for the binge. Don't. That causes a yo-yo cycle and you don't ever want to get caught up in that. I'd also have several friends to text when I got the urge and they'd reply with encouraging words such as "I know you're so strong, you can beat this." The fact that someone knows about it, believed in me and that I'd have to tell them if I caved would strengthen my resolve.
I still wear a rubber band that I snap when the urge comes around to remind myself and I'd repeat several phrases such as "Knock it off!!! You're better than this" and would focus on the feeling I knew I'd get it I caved. I know I'd be absolutely disappointed in myself in the next following days if I gave in. I'd also think of reasons why binging wasn't worth it such as having it mess up what I'd put so much work into: eating clean, exercising, tracking calories, feeling great about myself.
If I absolutely had to give in I'd force myself to go towards vegetables such as celery and tomatoes. I found that a bit of raw onion would stop it in it's tracks. There are also some really great tasting teas out there by Harney and Sons or the Republic of Teas that sell teas that have a really strong chocolate taste (it's hard to describe, you get the taste of chocolate without actually tasting any chocolate) and that helps too.
As for the junk food, out of sight, out of mind. Look at the back of the packages when you don't feel like binging and read it's ingredients. When you feel the urge to binge, stare hard at the food and think "I'm better than this, you can't beat me. I know what you're made of and I respect my body enough not to let you inside of me."
Another thing I found helpful (sorry for this post being so long) is eating my regular meals or whatever slowly. Even a plain lettuce leaf from a salad releases many flavors and textures you never notice when eating at a normal speed. Learn to appreciate and savor your food. Usually it takes 20 minutes for you to learn that you feel full so slowing down helps cut down calories. I've also noticed that I don't crave junk anymore since I cut it out of my life completely. Pretzels are my weakness so when I really can't help it I'll pick up a pretzel, take note of the color and texture of it and slowly bite into it, really savoring the first bite. That's usually enough for me, I'll toss the rest of it away. Don't ever feel obligated to finish food you don't want, it's not going to help the starving children in Africa. Studies have shown people are just as satisfied with smaller portions are they are with larger portions.
Edit:
Water. Chug water like your life depends on it when you feel like binging.0 -
Thank you so so much for that post -- you have no idea how much I appreciate all of that advice! I've written it all down and put it on little post-its around my desk so that I can look at it and remind myself!!
I'm going to tell my family to try and keep junk food kept away in one of the drawers of the fridge, that way they are less tempting. They don't know about my BED (I worried them sick when I was diagnosed with depression and I can't stand seeing that happen again) but they do know my mission for healthy eating, so I'm sure they'll help!
Again, thank you!!0 -
I agree with hiding the junk food. My husband still brings it into the house and I can't make him stop. At least he now keeps
it out of sight which works for me. Keep up the good work and don't let one bad day get you down!0 -
I like the rubber band idea. Thanks.0
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I have struggled in the past. Living overweight tends to put us in a position to pressure ourselves into a restrict/binge cycle. Taking the pressure off by setting a reasonable calorie target and logging food intake on a site like MFP can stop that cycle in its tracks.
You HAVE to give yourself enough to eat though.
If you are still gaining weight, first learn to maintain your current weight. Don't set a goal to lose 2 lbs a week and try and find the resolve to make HUGE changes in your life. Start by figuring out how many calories you eat to maintain your current weight. Set your MFP lifestyle factor to "lightly active" and your goal to maintain your current weight. Then start logging everything you eat. Get a food scale and weigh out your food.
You will get a picture of how much you're eating now... in fact, eating to maintain may already be a shift if you've been steadily gaining. Once you get comfortable eating at the "maintaining" level i.e. do it for a month or so, then you will be ready to make a few small changes to cut back by about 500 calories daily or even start with a 250 calorie/day cut for a loss of 1/2 a pound weekly to start. Your initial level should be somewhere around 2000 calories/day without exercise. That may not go too far if your diet consists mostly of fast food and snacks, but it can be a lot of food if you keep your diet balanced.
Over time, you'll clean it up bit by bit. As you do, you'll decide what is worth keeping in your diet (I'd never give up cream and sugar in my coffee for instance), and what is worth ditching (I rarely eat butter now). As you cut out the things you don't find to be worth it, you'll have lots of extra room for things that fuel you and make you feel good, healthy, energetic.
Small changes. Small deficits. Long-term weight regulation. A life you can live happily.
The other thing to consider is what factors make you want to binge. Sometimes for me it's hormonal. I usually have a desire to pack away about 500-700 calories in sugar the night before my period starts. Other than that, I have a tendency to binge if I get tired or dehydrated or if I'm not eating enough protein.
So pay attention to your body, set a reasonable calorie goal without major restriction and those feelings should subside.0 -
Whether you consider it a disorder or not, binging occurs when you're overly restrictive with your diet.
I think we're allowed to have days where we over indulge. Rather than feel ashamed about it, just accept that it happened and move on.0 -
Binge eating always make me feel bad too. I usually do it if I wait to long to eat, or if I am bored, or mad, or sad....I guess I am an emotional eater too. Anyways, the moral of this post is that it will happen, and the only thing you can do is move on and *kitten* to what caused the binge and find ways to prevent it in the future.0
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Hi,
Oh -- I'm not talking about the kind of binge where you haven't eaten enough and then you overload yourself!! I'm very careful not to undereat and I'm careful with my diet.
Here is a page about binge eating disorder: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Binge-eating/Pages/Introduction.aspx
It was mostly used, for me, as a tool to combat depression (even when I was never dieting) but turned into it's very own problem. Things like hormones etc rarely trigger a binge for me, as they're a bit more complex when they're disordered.
Sorry if I didn't make it clear! Binge eating disorder is usually psychological as opposed to a consequence of not getting enough food :c
Thank you for all of your advice though0 -
If I absolutely had to give in I'd force myself to go towards vegetables such as celery and tomatoes. I found that a bit of raw onion would stop it in it's tracks. There are also some really great tasting teas out there by Harney and Sons or the Republic of Teas that sell teas that have a really strong chocolate taste (it's hard to describe, you get the taste of chocolate without actually tasting any chocolate) and that helps too.
Edit:
Water. Chug water like your life depends on it when you feel like binging.
I am slowly learning to deal with binges in a healthy manner this year, so I feel your pain. And I'm 37. Better late than never, right? I've eaten upwards of 3000-4000 calories in one sitting, and even logged it in MFP to see...those times (yep, multiple) I realized that food *is* a drug for me, and I had to get it under control. So glad you're reaching out to this community for advice. Lots of educated folks out there with great ideas.
So back to the post..
All of the quoted stuff, plus...I keep sugarfree gum on hand. I follow a ton of fitness folks on social media, and one thing I've learned is that cravings (be it BED or just random, once in a while) happen to the most fit, disciplined, dedicated people. I chew a TON of Trident (new flavor out now - Perfect Peppermint and it is AWESOMESAUCE!!) so much that I currently have 3 packs in my purse now, and Extra Dessert Delights Lemon Squares, Raspberry Vanilla Cupcake and Chocolate Chip Mint Ice Cream (one each of these, totally SIX packs of gum in my purse!). This usually kills the "sweet" cravings in its tracks.
Added to the celery and tomatoes above, I add baby carrots and some PB2 (powdered peanut butter). The veggies tends to fill me up and I know now that when I'm full, I'm not thinking about food (as much :bigsmile: ) and won't trigger boredom eating.0 -
I never even thought of gum! Thank you!!
I also considered brushing my teeth when I consider binging because the thought of eating while my mouth is still all peppermint-y really grosses me out, but gum will be much easier and means I can do it while I'm out.0 -
Bump0
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I'm right there with you. I've spent my whole life eating food mostly as a source of pleasure and satisfaction and with virtually no regard to health.
When you build a lifetime of behavioral habit revolving around food, it is very hard to break the habit.
I've been at this since April 19th. I'm down 27 pounds.
For me, the most important thing was to alter my diet. I had to change the kinds of foods I ate from the usual tasty foods to things that are just "meh". For example, I will eat a bratwurst for breakfast, and a bratwurst for lunch. It's not that I don't like bratwurst, it's just that it's relatively boring. And that's the key. I need to prepare foods that are relatively boring and that I'm not tempted to just continue to eat as I would, say, with cookies or ice cream or whatever.
It's very important to only keep those kinds of foods around the house. During the work days it's pretty easy because you pack your boring food for the day and when it's gone there is not much you can do about it (avoid carrying money for the snack machines, too!).
But at home, if it's there you may be tempted.
Hunger is what ultimately destroys willpower. If you let yourself get really hungry, it's very easy to say, "Screw it, I'm eating the ice cream!" And from there, it's even easier to say, ''Screw it, I've already blown it, I'm going to eat ALL the ice cream!"
Eating more protein can help mitigate hunger.
Also for me a big thing is recognizing the "in for a penny, in for a pound" mentality. That is, you have this idea that once you screw up you should go ahead and screw up BIG TIME because what difference does it make?
But realize this: If you are on a 2-pound-a-week loss target, you are eating a daily deficit of about 1000 calories a day.
So if you blow it one day and eat a 700-calorie Blizzard from DQ, it's not the end of the world. You are in this for the long haul and as long as most days you hit your calorie target you will lose weight. But you have to get back on the horse every day.
You can't binge today and then tomorrow say, "Well, I blew it yesterday so I'll just blow it one more day and start over." That way leads to destruction.
I found once I made it past 2 months the hardest part was largely over. But I won't lie, those 2 months were rough. I thought about food all the time, and desperately. I would go to bed early to avoid being hungry and thinking about food. I would dream about food.
I still think about food all the time but now I feel largely in control of the thoughts. When I made this realization, I started hitting the gym.
All of this is hugely empowering. For the first time in my life I feel in control of my body. It's awesome!0 -
The "in for a penny, in for a pound" mentality is such a big part of binge eating that sometimes you don't even realize you're doing it - I never actually put that into perspective before today.
I have been letting myself slide since binging, feeling like it could only get worse, but that'll be put to a stop right away. Thank you!0 -
I am in the same boat with you. I have been so nervous because I have an appointment on Monday to see what is going on with me also. I have been told that I have PCOS, but I have never actually been tested for it. I usually want or crave junk food while I am at work. I keep Extra gum in my desk. I currently have Lemon Square, Mint Chocolate chip, Orange cream pop, and Apple pie flavors in my desk right now. These flavored gums have helped me so much!0
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Hey,
First off- I have to say I really strongly agree with a lot of the practical advice given here already in terms of giving yourself a realistic calorie allowance, not being overly harsh or trying to make up one day's binge with a restriction and getting into a yo yo habit.
But another thing I have to say is that BED is often treated more like a bad habit than an eating disorder, which I think is a flawed approach. I myself started with a form of BED and EDnos (Eating disorder not otherwise specified) in my early teens which eventually developed into full blown bulimia, for which I was eventually treated. I think the mentality is largely similar though, and revolves around food playing an emotional role in life rather than being fuel for living. As long as one has this emotional relationship with food whereby you eat (or restrict) for comfort, the binging will ultimately continue. Hiding food from yourself and replacing binge food with 'safe' food or gum or whatever can be good in the short term, but I think it could also be really beneficial to address the root issues of why you are binging. As silly as it may sound, for a lot of people binging brings a sense of physical fullness which is used as a substitute for emotional emptiness, and as a form of comforting. I don't want to make any assumptions about your personal circumstances, but from my experience (and from talking to others who have had issues with binge eating/bulimia etc) there might be a possibility that there are things on your mind (eg. unresolved stresses, feelings of helplessnes, not getting real time to spend on yourself) which could be causing you to binge. I really recommend Josie Spinardi's videos on youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQFR7Qu_2QM)- as she explains, the binge isn't really the problem so much as the symptom.
I hope this helps in some way (and that it wasn't too much of a serious downer!) and that you are able to curb the binges soon xx0 -
I'm curious for others that have been successful in overcoming the binging if the frequency of the binges decrease or if they just stop binging altogether?0
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I'm in deep with my binging and trying really hard to find a way out. I'm curious for others if the frequency of the binges decrease or if they just stop binging altogether? I work out almost every day and wake up every morning with the intention of staying on track but somehow, at some point in the day I sabotage myself.
For me personally they just got worse, as did the restricting to combat them. And then eventually it took a lot of time and effort to slowly combat the learned behavior and undo years of misuse towards my body. I do know of people who's binges have decreased or stopped suddenly though- often through a change in circumstances in thier lives more generally though, as opposed to specific diet and fitness orientated solutions.0 -
I'm always struggling with whether I just shouldn't touch certain foods or whether I should just have a normal portion. The logical answer is to have the sensible portion but most times, when I start eating a certain food it triggers me for a binge. For those who've had success, did you just eliminate certain foods from your diet or did you eventually learn to have normal portions?0
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When I eat junk food, I frequently can't stop. It's better for me to just not eat it. But if I feel deprived, I will binge on a whole bag of something. I'm slowly learning to have a few chips or cookies and not the whole bag.
If I'm tempted to overeat something I shouldn't I tell myself "I don't need that." Of course I WANT it. Junk food is designed to taste good! And when I'm feeling anxious or blue, it's SO easy to maske myself feel better by eating. That's how I got into this mess! But saying "I don't need that" helps me to make more conscious decisions and not mindlessly eat.
If I must eat something, I try to go for veggies. Better to eat a whole bag of baby carrots that a whole bag of chips. Something I also find really satisfying is a baked potato. I know a lot of people think a potato is the most evil food in the world. But a warm baked potato with mustard is low in fat, not too high in calories and very satisfying and filling. Again, better that than a whole package of cookies or container of ice cream.
Try out different foods to see which healthier options are most satisfying to you. And think about some phrases to say to yourself to stay aware of your actions and keep your morale up. You can do this! : )0 -
Thank you so much for all of the advice!! I'm feeling much more positive. You're all wonderful!0
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I think the mentality is largely similar though, and revolves around food playing an emotional role in life rather than being fuel for living. As long as one has this emotional relationship with food whereby you eat (or restrict) for comfort, the binging will ultimately continue.
This! There are so many people who cannot fathom the idea of food being a source of pleasure.For those who've had success, did you just eliminate certain foods from your diet or did you eventually learn to have normal portions?
I have eliminated, or rather substituted certain foods for most of the meals I eat during the weak.
My problem is that once I allow myself to indulge in some pleasurable food, I will eat until satisfied. So it is best just not to put myself in those kinds of tempting situations. So I pack my food for the work day and it is usually two bratwurst or Italian sausages (one for breakfast, one for lunch) and two apples.
When I get home I am usually pretty hungry so I have a couple of tablespoons of natural peanut butter with honey mixed in.
Then for dinner we usually have some kind of meat and a vegetable.
But if we go out for dinner, I usually just eat what I want until I'm full.
On occasion (every 3 months?) I will go to the grocery store and get some Ben and Jerry's ice cream and eat the whole container (like 1400 calories?) About twice a month we go to Dairy Queen and I'll have a blizzard or usually a dipped cone.0 -
I just want to say "thanks" to everyone on this thread. I binge. A lot. This is the closest I've come to admitting it out loud. This is day 1 for me. I signed on feeling sad and humiliated and mad at myself for letting it happen. But after reading every word of what you all posted, I'm feeling something new... empowered. Here's to happy and fit days ahead for all of us. Cheers!0
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That's true too. I was diagnosed with depression. It turns out every time I binged, my brain would be flooded with rush of serotonin and dopamine. I was put temporarily on Prozac that helped me stabilize my brain chemicals and found other ways to cope instead of food. I got off the medication and haven't had a big binge since then. The only times I've binged since coming off was because of a too restrictive calorie deficit, once that was taken care of it was all good0
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I have BED, which caused me to gain 100 pounds in a year. It was so bad that all I would think about was food, when I could eat next, what I was going to eat and I was planning it in my head all day long and it is horrible because you cannot stop yourself. I would stop at multiple fast food places because i was scared they would think im eating too much. And after you feel so awful and feel like a failure. It's a horrible disorder and I hope things get better.0
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Awww - sorry you're feeling down.
If it's just every once in a while, it's fine - everyone does it! Really. Everyone. It won't make a difference in the long run because it's just one day. Don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing great - you'll get there!
I have now built a couple of 'free' days a month into my plan where I eat EVERYTHING I desire. Yes, it's usually chocolate -based. :-)Usually around 4,000, 5,000 calories in the day.
If it's controlling you, though, really affecting your life, making you miserable... definitely see your GP.
Good luck honey! xxx0
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