How to get over fear of jogging in front of people?

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Hi! I kind of have the fear of jogging in front of people in public. I walk all the way to the woods to do my running LOL
Id rather just do it locally instead of going ALLL the way to the woods(its time consuming)
Im chubby (obviously) so I fear being mocked or laughed at by passer-byers
I also live in an area where a majority of my old classmates live (Im kind of already over this though)
And my mother is rather... rude? She mocks me from time to time (which im also over this)
Im just overall shy and somewhat insecure
Id join a gym but im poor (wahhhh)
Im thinking of just jogging before the sun comes up, so no one can see me, ahaha.
Anyone have any wise words?
Or tell me if you've gotten over this fear or how you do it?
Thanks!
«1345

Replies

  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
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    You just go. No one is looking at you.
  • Akimajuktuq
    Akimajuktuq Posts: 3,037 Member
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    My advice is: you will have a much better life if you stop worrying about what anyone else thinks of you. What you think of you matters. As women, we learn from all directions to think we are never good enough. There is nothing positive to be gained from that.. but it's done so that we spend all kinds of money trying to "fix" ourselves. Some of us snap out of it when we older, but imagine how blessed life would be if we learned to love ourselves right from the start.

    Do what you want to do. Respect and love yourself. Perhaps distance yourself, or find away to ignore, toxic loved ones (I just cut them out of my life totally but I'm older than you). It's so much more fun to be a confident, happy woman and not give a *kitten* what anyone else thinks.
  • michael1976_ca
    michael1976_ca Posts: 3,488 Member
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    i'd say just do it put your head phone in don't worry about any one else. i admire seeing people run and at any size cause it makes me have hope to be there some day
  • jessicapk
    jessicapk Posts: 574 Member
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    First off, I DID NOT write this. Kudos to the writer but I don't know who it is. Found it on MFP and it needs to be kept alive. Changed my whole outlook.

    =============================

    Hey, Fat Girl.

    Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on

    the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re
    slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you
    cringe.

    You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger

    loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat
    so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a
    time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to

    anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

    You are awesome.

    If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice

    the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started
    is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand
    new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the

    gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely
    set yourself in motion, in front of others.

    You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept

    this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a
    difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you
    take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever

    so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your
    wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and
    forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

    You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones

    and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the
    other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate,
    stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are

    coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up
    running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs
    alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to

    come back again.

    You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You

    are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you
    are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow,
    you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your

    own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up
    for you. You are a true inspiration.

    I bow to you.
  • dawnmcneil10
    dawnmcneil10 Posts: 638 Member
    Options
    I can relate, I felt this way when I started adding jogging into my walks. I still am more comfortable jogging in the industrial park in the evening, it's quiet and no one has to see my bouncing body parts. I will say after about 3 weeks I actually jogged right in my own neighborhood the other day and you know what, I didn't care! I've been at the park and seen very heavy women jogging and part of me was so happy for them being brave and doing it and the other part was ashamed of myself for letting the opinion of others stop me. If you enjoy jogging I say go for it, let those riding in cars or watching from their recliners see you and be proud of yourself for getting out there and making a change in your life.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Options
    Honestly, no one is watching you. This may sound harsh, but realizing that you are (relatively) insignificant to the rest of the world is really quite liberating. Everyone is too busy worrying about their own crap to focus and belittle some random stranger running along the side of the road. Really.

    Do whatever you need to, to get out there and run. Go early or go late. I used to run all the time between 4:30-6 am. It's actually quite peaceful and lovely, depending on your climate.
  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
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    I was that way when I was young, I offer they are not caring about watching you. IF they make a remark, tell them to F*** off, and be on your way. No, do not actually do it, do it in your head. When you are super hot those jerks will be long gone. Do it for you! Liberate yourself, do not let this nonsense define you. :bigsmile:
  • JKDLady
    JKDLady Posts: 131 Member
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    I run a lot. I see all sorts of people running. I am running now with my husband, who is a complete beginner. It's funny because he is really fit with a six pack. He lifts weights a lot and looks terrific. However, he is not in shape aerobically. I, however, am in shape aerobically, but sweat profusely and am red-faced by the end. I actually carry a rag to wipe my sweat. I know when people look at us, they think he's the in-shape one because he isn't sweating or red-faced. I obviously still have issues too!

    Today, we were running and an overweight lady was in front of us. We quickly passed her, but both my husband and I commented on the fact that she was working harder than either of us. I was actually envious of her. I wasn't pushing myself; she obviously was.

    I've come to realize that we are all on a different journey with a different timeframe. It doesn't matter how you look; people are going to judge you. YOUR job is to feel comfortable in your own skin. The fact that you are out there says it all - you are trying. I always make eye contact with everyone. This is for safety reasons but also to show how confident I am in what I'm doing. Of course I'm exhausted, but I'm out there doing what I enjoy.

    Weight loss is a journey to make us feel better. I think it's not the number, it's the self-confidence you get from succeeding. The same thing with running. It's not in and of itself going to make you happy and proud of yourself; it's enjoying the success of actually finishing the run.

    I don't know your exact situation, but I think confronting your fear in this situation will help you in more ways than just running in front of other people.

    I truly wish you success!
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Options
    First off, I DID NOT write this. Kudos to the writer but I don't know who it is. Found it on MFP and it needs to be kept alive. Changed my whole outlook.

    =============================

    Hey, Fat Girl.

    Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on

    the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re
    slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you
    cringe.

    You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger

    loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat
    so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a
    time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to

    anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

    You are awesome.

    If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice

    the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started
    is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand
    new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the

    gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely
    set yourself in motion, in front of others.

    You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept

    this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a
    difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you
    take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever

    so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your
    wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and
    forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

    You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones

    and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the
    other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate,
    stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are

    coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up
    running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs
    alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to

    come back again.

    You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You

    are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you
    are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow,
    you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your

    own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up
    for you. You are a true inspiration.

    I bow to you.

    ^^^ True story!
  • StephanieMM2013
    Options
    Blast your music! (Unless its unsafe/high traffic area)

    And consider it practice for not caring what people think. It's HARD, but you don't get over something by avoiding it.

    Good luck!
  • oldandhealthier
    oldandhealthier Posts: 449 Member
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    Look up Inspiration in Pink Spandex under motivation and inspiration. That guy has the attitude we all should have. I respect him.:drinker:
  • MarioLozano16
    MarioLozano16 Posts: 319 Member
    Options
    Just do it; don't worry about anything and do it, because you'll only start improving from there on
  • PinkNinjaLaura
    PinkNinjaLaura Posts: 3,202 Member
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    I felt like that when I first started too. I'd drive to the high school track early in the morning and pray nobody else was there. Sometimes I was running through the sprinklers in the pre-dawn light but I was alone. I finally got tired of that and bravely set out on the roads by my house. Once I mustered up my courage to make eye contact what I discovered was that people either weren't paying attention to me, or when they were they were supportive. Other walkers/runners are friendly - there's a bond just by virtue of the fact that you're all out there, regardless of your age or fitness levels.
  • jlo0812
    jlo0812 Posts: 12 Member
    Options
    I think that you are doing better than 99% of the population by just going out in the first place. I think that most people who run respect what you are doing in trying to better yourself. Run where you want; the ones closest to us can be our worst and harshest critics, nevermind them!
    In my area, the runners in the morning say hi and make you feel more welcome, perhaps you can do a run at dawn?
  • Soccermavrick
    Soccermavrick Posts: 405 Member
    Options
    With no disrespect. Normally when I walk or jog, I am not thinking about others being out of shape, normally I am thinking mad respect for out doing me.
  • nelinelineli
    nelinelineli Posts: 330 Member
    Options
    That sounds like me 3 months ago. I had a big wobbling body that would jiggle even when tip-toeing, so I was self-conscious even about walking in public, not to mention running!

    I used to see runners on the streets every day, especially before dinner time. Some of them were fit high-school athletes, some were very fit older people who were trying to stay in shape. They looked peaceful, confident and very intimidating.

    So one day I decided it's time to start and went on short jogs at 5-6 am to avoid meeting anyone I knew. I felt paranoid every time I saw a car passing by, thinking it might be someone I know. I'd try to go around a corner every time some other human being passed me by to see whether they're looking at me behind my back and stare at my huge wobbly *kitten*. Guess what. No one did.

    I started running a bit later every day because I'm not a morning person at all, and I started bumping into kids going to school - they can be mean and pretty brutal with their opinions - so I was simply startled to see that not only they don't make fun of me or stare at me, but they make room for me to pass with a nice, polite smile, and show me respect. In fact... everyone has shown me nothing but respect. I met colleagues, friends - everyone had nothing but a big sincere smile to show me and even say "You're a better person than me".

    The vast majority of people want to run but are put off by a reason or another - vanity is one of them. Very few actually "make it". And when they see someone, regardless of their shape, doing it, they feel nothing but admiration. When they see someone who is OUT of shape still doing it, they can't help but commend you for it.

    Now I'm confident. I've shown myself in my worst condition to the world, and they have been nothing but supportive. I had a colleague who's always mocked me for my bigger figure (he's not the nicest person I know...) and for the first time in 8 years since I've known him, he told me he wishes he were FIT LIKE ME!...

    I can now run without losing my breath (just by going slow), and I try to concentrate on my form. And with good form comes that "professional look" people look up to. I sometimes cross those young athletic people I used to be intimidated by and notice they are doing it .. a bit wrong. Their clenched fists zig-zag in front of their body, etc. That in itself made me feel I belong on the streets just as much as they do.

    So just try it out for a couple of weeks. You'll probably be amazed just how easy it is!
  • circesfire
    Options
    I can certainly relate as well. I've lost the weight and am now at a healthy BMI, although I would still like to lose 20 lbs. My problem is I have asthma and my asthma is especially triggered by running, however I am determined to get in shape and be able to run 5k. I started out slowly and I mean really slowly, maybe 30 seconds at a time, because that was all I could manage. When it got too hot here and I had to start running on a treadmill at the gym I was terrified. I looked pretty fit but as soon as I would start to run my face would turn red, I'd start breathing heavy and would usually end up coughing. But I did it, and it made me realize I'm doing this for me. I want to make myself better and it truly doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    I do most of mine at 4am, no one is out,
  • GymPoet
    GymPoet Posts: 107 Member
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    Jessicapk,
    Thank you so much for posting that, it brought tears to my eyes. I think you inspired more than just the OP today.
  • janatarnhem
    janatarnhem Posts: 669 Member
    Options

    =============================

    Hey, Fat Girl.

    Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on

    the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re
    slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you
    cringe.

    You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger

    loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat
    so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a
    time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to

    anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

    You are awesome.

    If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice

    the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started
    is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand
    new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the

    gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely
    set yourself in motion, in front of others.

    You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept

    this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a
    difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you
    take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever

    so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your
    wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and
    forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

    You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones

    and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the
    other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate,
    stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are

    coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up
    running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs
    alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to

    come back again.

    You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You

    are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you
    are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow,
    you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your

    own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up
    for you. You are a true inspiration.

    I bow to you.

    Thanks for this...it is me at the gym rather than the track...it has made me feel abit emotional!