The way society treats big people

kaydeedoubleu1
kaydeedoubleu1 Posts: 567 Member
in Motivation and Support
So, recently people at work have started telling me how big i used to be and how good i look now etc. It got me thinking:

Telling someone they need to loose weight does not encourage them to do just that, rather it hurts them, lowers their self esteem therefore meaning they are far less likely to engage in healthy activities. I know this from experience. Many people told me I needed to lose weight (like i couldn't look in the mirror or feel it myself), and it made me far less inclined to do it. It wasn't until i took the courage to truly push myself out of my comfort zone by breaking off a long relationship in a new city that gave me the courage and strength to retake my health and happiness.

Point of the story: Larger people are still people, they are not less able to do their jobs, less educated or less interesting and fantastic. Instead of focussing on what other people or doing/presenting like, start by focussing on your own life and leading by example-far more likely to give other people strength to better themselves that way

I am still the same person i was at 105kgs then I am now at 80kgs (albeit more confidence and positivity, but still the same values and ideals). Size is not an indicator of the greatness of a person.

Replies

  • AtlantisLoss
    AtlantisLoss Posts: 32 Member
    here here!

    And its for that very reason i don't tell people I'm on a diet or they will start talking about my weight.
    That's the last thing my motivation needs.
  • nelinelineli
    nelinelineli Posts: 330 Member
    I guess I'm torn on this topic as I don't think telling people they need to lose weight is a bad thing.
    Doing it condescendingly yes, that's humiliating. But many of us tend to be a bit blind at their own increasing waistlines. Especially nowadays when "normal" has become increasingly.. chubby. And when in denial, you could use a wake-up call. It can be done politely, like showing them photos of themselves without mentioning weight, or having a straight up conversation about it. My wake-up call was a candid conversation with a friend. He told me I was getting chubby again, pointed out how I'm increasingly uncomfortable and anti-social, obsessing about clothes that don't fit quite right anymore (because I refused to believe I was fattening up) etc. He was empathetic, straight up and honest, and I cannot thank him enough.
  • feelin_gr_8
    feelin_gr_8 Posts: 308 Member
    My brother and sister always told me growing up that I needed to lose weight and all it did was make me want to down more brownies. The only thing I remember that has been even remotely motivational was when my brother sincerely told me that I'd look so beautiful if I'd just lose the weight. And I look forward to seeing that beautiful girl. You know the sad thing though? Even though I've only lost 10 pounds on my journey here since 7/25/13, I look at other large people and think "why aren't you working on yourself? it's worth it!". I have NO room to judge, but I suppose working on it myself makes me think of it more. I've also realized that you never know where a person is in their life. The person that you think is huge might have already lost 50 pounds! You think they're shoveling burgers down while they're eating cottage cheese and tomatoes for lunch. Judging never really benefits us...
  • eylia
    eylia Posts: 200 Member
    I might get jumped on for this, but it honestly does go both ways. I've suffered from medical conditions since I was a child that often caused me to be underweight. People were never afraid to comment and tell me I should eat more, force food upon me, make comments when I DID eat, make jokes...Not going in to the more hurtful ones. As a child it was hard. All I mean is, it's a trend in society, what is 'normal', what others are justified in having an opinion about. We base a lot on looks that shouldn't be, it should be about weight rather than health, beauty does not come from anywhere but what shines though the person themselves. Nor does integrity, intelligence or compassion have anything to do with the scale.
  • snazzyjazzy21
    snazzyjazzy21 Posts: 1,298 Member
    I might get jumped on for this, but it honestly does go both ways. I've suffered from medical conditions since I was a child that often caused me to be underweight. People were never afraid to comment and tell me I should eat more, force food upon me, make comments when I DID eat, make jokes...Not going in to the more hurtful ones. As a child it was hard. All I mean is, it's a trend in society, what is 'normal', what others are justified in having an opinion about. We base a lot on looks that shouldn't be, it should be about weight rather than health, beauty does not come from anywhere but what shines though the person themselves. Nor does integrity, intelligence or compassion have anything to do with the scale.

    Yep, a girl I went to school with couldn't gain weight, she was very tall and slim and would have people come up to her on the street and tell her to eat a cheeseburger, check into 'rehab' and the like. IMO, society treats people like ****, period. It doesn't matter who you are, how much you earn or what you weigh, there will always be people who treat you badly. That's part of life.
  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
    Motivation is a very personal thing. Telling someone they need to lose weight, or gain, is generally not a very good motivator. I agree that there is unfair treatment (whether it is intentional or not) of people outside of what society considers "normal" (that can be many things, race, religion, gender, weight, height, nationality etc). Being over weight is definately one of the ways we are judged by some. Other than being a lot less of me, I have not changed, I am the same. Unfair? Of course it is, but you can only change yourself. I hope that those of us that have accomplshed becoming healthier and lost weight remember, and look beyond the external of others.

Categories